Cowboy Daddy

by Susan Mallery

  “Help yourself.”

  She picked it up. “I’ll admit that I didn’t expect to spend two months here. I thought I’d drive up with you two, fix whatever needed fixing, then fly home and get on with my life. I thought I’d see Laurel every few months, maybe for a week or so during the summer, and that would be it.” She took a bite and chewed slowly. “It’s not like that at all, is it?”

  “No. You’re building a relationship with her, and a bond. That’s hard to ignore.”

  “Do you still hate me?” she asked.

  “I told you I never hated you.”

  “I know, you say you just didn’t trust me. But the truth is you did hate me. Admit it, Jake. Why wouldn’t you? I would have hated you if the situations were reversed. But do you still?”

  He thought about the sound of Laurel’s laughter and how much he heard it these days. He remembered the look on Anne’s face every time his daughter talked about her late mother and how she never told Laurel to stop mentioning Ellen. He stared down at his half-eaten sandwich and remembered how she consulted him before trying a new dish. She was always careful to, as she put it, not step on any toes.

  What was in it for her? In a few weeks she would go back to her real life. Laurel would miss her and want to keep in touch, but the reality of the situation was that Laurel would probably now be content to stay with him. Anne would find her condo lonely without the chatter of a thirteen-year-old underfoot. He’d learned that in the few hours Laurel had been missing.

  “Truth?” he asked.

  “Truth,” she answered.

  “No, I don’t hate you, Anne.” He couldn’t. She’d given too much unselfishly. She was going to pay a big price for that giving. He could afford to be generous. He didn’t only understand what she was going to feel, he realized he, too, was going to miss her when she was gone.

  “Do you think we can be friends?” She stared at him as earnestly as a schoolgirl.

  He smiled. “I’d like that.”

  “Even if I decorate your bathroom with cow accessories?”

  “That would put a strain on the relationship.”

  She grinned. “Okay. I just wanted to know where the line was.”

  He chuckled. Anne loved the sound of his laughter. He could make her knees quiver and her thighs go up in flames. Down, girl, she told herself. This was about building emotional bridges, not passion. In fact, in the past two weeks Jake had done nothing to indicate he was the least bit turned on by her. Apparently their little roll in the hay—more like their little roll on a rock—had been enough to appease him. He was calm, competent and completely impersonal around her. He couldn’t have treated her any more asexually if he had been her brother. She, on the other hand, had all the subtlety of a cat in heat. Every time she saw him, she wanted to rub against his body and purr.

  On that cheerful note, she was going to leave. She stood up. “I should be heading back to the house. I have to get dinner in the oven. Then I’m going to pull out those catalogs and think about ordering furniture. Is there a budget?”

  He reached for the second half of his sandwich. “Try to spend less than it cost to build the house.”

  She raised her eyebrows. “That’s it?”

  “You seem surprised.”

  “Let’s just say it’s a long way from Paradise.”

  The humor left his eyes. The gold-flecked irises darkened with compassion. “It is, Anne. But not so far from Houston.”

  “That’s true. I’m not little Annie Jo Baker anymore.”

  His smile turned wistful. “I think I might have liked her just as much as I like Anne Baker.”

  Maybe even more, Anne thought as she waved goodbye and headed back toward the house. Annie Jo would have stayed in Paradise and kept her daughter with her. She would have tried to make it on her own. Anne sighed. Who’s to say what would have been right? She could make herself crazy thinking about it.

  She entered the kitchen. After collecting the vegetables she would need, she started chopping onions. A quick glance at the clock told her that if she was in Houston instead of on Jake’s ranch, she would probably be knee-deep in meetings right about this time.

  “If they could see me now,” she said as she peeled the second onion. The pungent smell began to burn her eyes.

  Where would she be if she’d stayed in Paradise? She would never know if she’d made the right decision or the easy one. But she was here and she’d better make the best of it. Not everyone got a second chance.

  Her stomach lurched, surprising her. She stopped chopping and swallowed. Suddenly she didn’t feel so great. She washed her hands, then drank a glass of water. If anything, the liquid made her feel worse. Almost nauseous. Was it the onions? She stared at the cutting board. They’d never bothered her before.

  She started to take another sip of water when her stomach heaved. She set the glass on the counter and ran to the bathroom.

  When she was done throwing up, she washed her face and sat on the closed toilet seat lid. Could it be the flu? Anne pressed a hand against her midsection. She hadn’t felt this bad in years. She blinked. Thirteen years. She blinked again.

  No. It wasn’t possible. It couldn’t be possible. Jake had said he was sterile. But it had been the middle of her cycle, at her most fertile time. Oh, God.

  She ran through the kitchen and into the hallway. The Explorer keys hung on a hook. Jake had told her she could use his truck anytime she wanted. She grabbed the keys and her purse and headed out the front door. The closest drugstore was about five miles down the road. She had a couple of hours before Laurel got home from school. She could pick up the kit and be back in plenty of time. Then all she had to do was wait until morning. Then she would know for sure.

  Chapter 9

  Jake drew the razor along his jaw. The master bath off his bedroom was big enough not to get steamy. The eight-foot-long mirror reflected his image, the double sinks and the stall shower in the corner. Behind him was the Jacuzzi. He glanced at the tiled monstrosity and wondered what on earth his grandfather had been thinking of when he’d ordered that. Jake had never bothered to fill it up and turn on the jets. For all he knew, the sucker didn’t even work. There were a lot of luxuries in the house he considered unnecessary. But his grandfather had passed away about three weeks after construction had started. Jake had been too devastated to do more than let the contractors continue with their work. It had been easier than planning a new house. He realized now that in the back of his mind he’d always figured on coming here and building up the horse ranch.

  He adjusted the towel around his waist before wiping away the shaving cream. He’d barely finished drying his face when the door to his bathroom flew open.

  “You bastard!” Anne said as she stormed into the room. “You damned bastard.” Her voice was low and controlled but there was no mistaking her anger.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?” he asked, as confused by her rage as by her presence in his bathroom. It was barely six in the morning. “Don’t you believe in knocking?”

  “Interesting choice of words,” she said. In her left hand she held a slender plastic wand. She raised her right and pointed her index finger at him. “How dare you? How dare you? Was it fun, like playing a game? Did you think you would risk it and let me pay the consequences?”

  Her emotions flooded the room. He leaned one hip against the counter and folded his arms over his chest. “Are you going to tell me what you’re talking about or do you want to rant some more?”

  Her skin was pale, but her eyes flashed fire. Under her white cotton gown, her breasts rose and fell with each breath. He realized the filmy fabric was see-through. The darker circles of her aureoles and her puckered nipples were clearly visible. He hoped the towel was thick enough to hide his instant reaction.

  “What is it about cowboys?” she asked, as if he hadn’t spoken. She lowered her hand to her side and started to pace the room. She walked to the shower, then back in front of him to the closet door.
On the return trip she glared at him. “Is it the jeans? Is it the button fly? Why can’t I resist a tight butt in denim? Am I cursed or just stupid?”

  “If you’re looking for an answer, I sure as hell don’t have one. I don’t know what you’re talking about. And keep your voice down. You’ll wake Laurel.”

  “Wake her? As if you thought you could keep this a secret?”

  She stopped in front of him and leaned close. He could feel the heat of her body and smell her scent. Her short hair was tousled from sleep. He wanted to touch the shiny strands and run his fingers through her curls. He wanted to pull her close and kiss away her anger. He wished she would get to the reason for her tirade because his groin had swelled past the point of uncomfortable, and his daughter’s alarm wasn’t scheduled to go off for another half hour. It wasn’t as much time as he wanted to make love with Anne, but it would be enough to ease whatever ailed her.

  “Fine,” she said, poking his chest. “Play dumb. Just answer me this. Why? Why did you do it?”

  “Do what?” he asked, his patience beginning to evaporate. “What are you talking about?”

  “This.” She tossed the wand onto the counter. It rolled until it came to rest against a box of tissue. He’d been wrong. It wasn’t all white. One end was bright blue.

  He looked from the device to her. “This is supposed to mean something?”

  She stared at him as if he were as dumb as a stone. Then she shook her head. When she spoke, she enunciated each word carefully. “I’m pregnant.”

  He knew they didn’t have anything close to a relationship, but his first emotion was heart-stopping betrayal. She’d told him it had been years since she’d been with someone and he’d been fool enough to believe her. His gaze dropped to her belly, and the triangle of reddish curls below.

  “You lying bitch,” he said softly. “What’s next? You have some disease that you forgot to tell me about?”

  “Disease?” Her brows drew together. “Lying? You’re the one who lied. You’re the one who promised you were sterile. Did you get a kick out of playing God? I even told you it was the middle of my cycle. What were you trying to prove?” She poked him in the chest again. “What is it? That you’re too macho to use a condom? This is the nineties, buster. Only fools are unprotected. Okay, I was a fool. I admit that. But I’m pregnant!”

  He tried to control his breathing, but he couldn’t do anything except feel the red thick rage that flowed through him. His hands tightened into fists. He fought to relax them because he was afraid he would have to pound the wall over and over until she stopped torturing him. A child. She taunted him with a child.

  Michael’s words returned to him. “I’m sorry, son. The problem is with you. The problem is with you. With you. With you.” The words echoed.

  “No!” Jake said loudly. “No!” he roared. “Dammit, no!”

  Anne backed away from him. He advanced on her. She grabbed for the door, but first she accidentally bumped it with her heel and it slammed shut. Her blue eyes widened with fear.

  “Stop it,” she commanded.

  He froze in his tracks and fought the demons. With conscious effort he relaxed his muscles one by one. He turned from her and returned to lean against the counter. Slowly sanity replaced rage. With awareness came humiliation. She’d used him.

  “You will not pawn another one of your bastard children off on me,” he said softly.

  A gasp was her only reply.

  He didn’t wait for more, he simply continued. “I don’t know if this is what you did with Bobby. Was he Laurel’s real father or did you try to trick him, too? Or are you such a slut you can’t remember who knocked you up?”

  “What’s wrong with you?” she asked, coming up and standing next to him. “Why would I lie about this? Why would I pass another man’s child off as yours?”

  “So you could stay here, with Laurel.” He turned suddenly and grabbed her arms. “It won’t work.” He shook her. “By God, it won’t work.”

  “Stop it,” she cried. “Just stop it.”

  He let her go and stared at his hands. What was wrong with him? In all the years he’d been married to Ellen, he’d never been this angry before.

  “I’m not lying,” she said. A lock of hair fell into her face. She brushed it back impatiently. He saw the tears in her eyes. “I swear, Jake, I’m not lying. My last relationship ended about four years ago. I haven’t been with a man since. Why are you doing this? Why won’t you believe me? You were there. You know what happened.”

  “Because I’m sterile,” he said. “I can’t father children.”

  The tears spilled over and ran down her cheeks. She squared her shoulders. Strength flowed through her. He could see it in the way she raised her head and tilted her chin. She defied him. “I’ve been honest with you from the beginning. I’ve been willing to accommodate myself to you and your wishes. I’ve tried to be fair with Laurel and with you. Not once have I lied or used my position against you.” She wiped her face with the back of her hand. “You and I made love almost three weeks ago. We were irresponsible and didn’t use protection. I’m pregnant. The child is yours, Jake. Believe me or not. There’s nothing more I can say to convince you.” She walked over to the bathroom door and opened it. Before she left, she turned back and stared at him. “Did it ever occur to you that the doctor made a mistake?” The door shut behind her.

  He looked around for something to throw. He needed to vent the rage inside him. How dare she try to pawn off some man’s bastard. What kind of a fool did she take him for?

  He gripped the counter, squeezing tight until his hands ached. The doctor might be wrong. Hell, what other piece of goods would she try to sell him? Maybe she wanted him to start digging for gold in the paddock. The doctor might be wrong. Why not say the doctor lied? He closed his eyes and exhaled sharply. Even as he tried to forget, Michael’s words returned, getting louder and louder. “It’s your fault. Your fault. Yours.”

  God, it was a waking nightmare. He couldn’t escape from the past. That lying, cheating, no-good bastard. Of all the people to give him the news. Why had he been the one?

  Michael lied whenever it suited him. That was one of the reasons Jake hadn’t wanted to continue doing business with his father-in-law. Michael had been willing to cheat anyone out of a buck. The only person in the world he cared about was Ellen. He would have done anything to protect her. Anything at all.

  Suddenly Jake straightened and met his own gaze in the mirror. Disbelief and the desire to make it true battled with reality. It couldn’t be that simple, could it? Just one lie in a long line of lies? He walked out of the bathroom and headed for the phone sitting on the floor by his bed.

  *

  Anne washed the red apple, then wiped it dry. She placed it in the paper bag and folded over the top. “Laurel, you’re going to be late,” she called.

  The teenager slowly entered the kitchen. Anne glanced up at her. “You’re going to be late,” she repeated, then realized Laurel’s eyes were red. “What’s wrong?”

  “I heard you and Daddy fighting,” she said softly.

  Anne’s heart stopped. Oh, no, anything but that. She swallowed hard. “What did you hear, honey?” she asked, praying it wasn’t as bad as she thought.

  Laurel shrugged. “Nothing you said. I just heard you yelling at each other.” She blinked several times, but the tears still escaped. “Don’t fight with my dad. Don’t go away.”

  “Oh, baby.” Anne moved close to her and wrapped her arms around her slender body. “Hush. I’m not going away.” At least not yet, she thought, wondering what on earth she was going to do. “We were just arguing. Grown-ups often do that. Sometimes it gets loud but it doesn’t mean we hate each other.” Anne gave her a reassuring smile even as she knew she was lying. Jake thought she was a slut, and she thought he was a weasel bastard. Not a great basis for a relationship. Still, none of that had anything to do with Laurel.

  The teenager moved away and went to pour herse
lf a bowl of cereal. Anne didn’t want to think about food. Not this early. She couldn’t even face coffee, she thought, turning away from the pot. Good thing because caffeine probably wasn’t healthy for the baby.

  Baby. Her knees grew weak and she had to grab a hold of the counter. She was going to have a baby. All last night she’d been frantic with worry, wondering if her suspicions were correct. She’d had to wait until this morning before she could take the test. Then she’d been so furious with Jake for lying to her that she hadn’t had time to absorb the news. She was going to have a baby…another baby. She pressed her hands to her stomach as if she could already feel the fragile life growing inside of her.

  “You okay?” Laurel asked from her place at the table.

  “What?” Anne stared blankly at her. “Oh, sure.” She was going to have a baby. A second chance to do it right. On the heels of joy came confusion. What was she going to tell Laurel? What was she going to do with a newborn? What about her promotion? What about her career? What about Jake? Why did he continue to lie to her? Why didn’t he think the child was his? Had he been telling the truth when he said he was sterile? But he couldn’t be—she was pregnant, and he was the only man she’d been with. What if he never believed her? What if—

  “Annie, you’re not listening to me,” Laurel complained.

  “I’m sorry.” Anne forced herself to take a seat at the table. Questions swirled through her head. She tried to ignore them and concentrate on Laurel. “What were you saying?”

  “School pictures are next week. I need you to help me pick out something to wear.”

  The request was light-years away from what Anne wanted to think and talk about. Scratch that, she thought suddenly. She certainly couldn’t tell Laurel she was pregnant. Not yet. And certainly not until she’d figured out what was going on with Jake.

  “Okay, a school picture. What about that red blouse you bought in Houston? You could wear it with your black pants.”

  Laurel shook her head. “I don’t like the collar. It puffs my hair out.”