Sleeping in Heaven, Waking in Hell

by Forever Redd

  Everyone laughed at the jovial old bird as we started to rise from our seats and start the cleanup process. It was time for the older folks to go somewhere else. Although, I must admit, I wouldn’t mind having the old lady stay.

  10

  Victoria

  Once the after party had begun, Karley went to the desk and opened a drawer that required a key for entry. She pulled out a very large bag of the greenest green I had ever seen. She began her opening speech.

  “Ladies, may I have your attention, please? There will be lots of surprises for the night so please get ready. There will be no cell phones, so call ya baby daddies, husbands, significant others, and boo thangs and tell them you will be out of commission for a while. If you have asthma, don’t do drugs, or if you just can’t take the heat, please feel free to leave now. We ‘bout to turn the heat up in this bitch!”

  Cheers and screams could be heard throughout the room. After the speech, Juanita, our homegirl from high school began placing a variety of liquor on the countertop. Patron, Goose, Remy, and Crown just to name a few. She also lined the counter with orange juice, cranberry juice, Coke, Sprite and Red Bull. I wasn’t a drinker, but again when in Rome…

  The drinks flowed freely, and the haze was thick. I couldn’t stop giggling at the spectacle those hoes were making of themselves. First, we played the drop it like it’s hot game.

  We also played the lap dance game. Basically, we asked questions and if you said no, you took a shot, but if you said yes, you could give a random chick a lap dance. Now that game, I wanted to play. A few shots later, I answered a question with a yes. I hated to admit it, but the question was do you swallow? My answer led me to give someone their private dance. I was high, tipsy, and horny. Definitely not a good combo. I chose Karley to give my dance to only because I was feeling some type of way again.

  The chair was brought to the center of the room, and Karley was all giggly. For some reason, everybody that had to do the dance chose her. The difference with me was it wasn’t a game. I had been fighting the urge to touch her for so long. It was personal. Karley took her seat in the middle of the room and prepared for the ride.

  So Anxious by Ginuwine blared through the speakers, and I began my dance with slow motions on her lap. I straddled my best friend and allowed the music to have its way with me. We were doing good the majority of the song, but when I turned to face Karley, she had her eyes closed and her head had fallen back. I could have sworn I heard her moan, I didn’t know, but I figured I would stop it before things got out of hand.

  Karley composed herself, moved from the center of the room and dimmed the lights. She stood on the chair and started her speech.

  “Ladies, now that we have had plenty to drink and plenty to smoke, I want to introduce you to a friend of mine. His name is Bobby, but you can call him Balboa.”

  Out of a door that I assumed was a closet, stepped out an oh, so sexy man. His body was cut up from his neck to his ankles. He had washboard abs, skin dark as night, and the whitest teeth I had ever seen in my life. I just stood there with my mouth hanging open as he glided through the crowded room of horny women. He was wearing boxer shorts, the kind a boxer would wear, and he had on the hooded robe as well.

  “Are you the bride?” he asked, whispering in my ear. I couldn’t say anything, so I chose to close my open mouth and nod yes. Why did Karley bring this fine stripper to my party? She knew Ms. Kitty was weak, and there she was just weakening her even more.

  Balboa looked at Karley as though it had been previously rehearsed, and she changed the music to Tyrese’s Straight Fuckin’. Balboa walked around me taking in all of my body, and traced the outline of my frame with his finger. Once he returned to my face, he slowly licked me from my cheek to my neck. Nibbling gently, he placed his hands on my ass and then ran them down to the back of my thighs. He spread my legs apart, lifted me in the air, and wrapped my legs around all that muscular waist of his. I had my arms around his neck for support, but to my surprise he lifted me all the way up until my legs draped around his neck. He was face to face with Ms. Kitty and she was purring. He teased my middle, viciously shaking his head from left to right, rapidly.

  Afterwards, Balboa laid me down in the center of the floor and began gyrating on top of me like we were fucking. I could feel his manhood through the fabric of my jeans. His government should have definitely been BOA because there was a snake in those britches. I had stop this before I did something I’d regret. I pushed Balboa off me, so the other ladies could have a piece of that sexy black man. I got myself together and slipped into the bathroom to call my baby.

  I felt like I was being bad, and I just needed to hear his voice. I needed him to soothe Ms. Kitty with his words. That evening was the first time in the last three years I had even had a man that close to me. I had never and would never step out on Jody. He was my man, and he was due his respect. After this, I’m going home to my husband, I thought.

  *****

  Jody

  I was having the time of my life. I had a snifter of Twenty Grand in one hand and a fat ass blunt in the other. Speaking of a fat ass, my lap was filled to capacity with a Spanish speaking chica spread out across my thighs. She had long, silky black hair that damn near reached the crack of her ass. She had it up in a neat ponytail at the top of her head like a genie. Her name was Rosita and she didn’t speak a lick of English. She was there for one reason and one reason only—to please me.

  Rosita was only seventeen years old, and was illegally smuggled into the U.S. as a part of some prostitution ring, which brought in mega bucks for the demented man that called himself her father, Carlo.

  Rosita sat legs spread wide open facing me. She had her hands intertwined in my locks, and her red pouty lips pressed against my ear. Rosita began to wind her hips slowly with the beat of the music. She didn’t know a thing about what Jaheim was singing, she just moved.

  Her body was warm under my touch, and I heard her breathing get heavier. Lost in the zone, my lust for that chick was ridiculous. I had to have her. I felt Rosita’s body tense and a small shudder run through her, so I whispered in her ear, “Say you want it.”

  Rosita didn’t understand me, but she gave me a warm, wet lick to the ear with a vibrant smile.

  I patted her on her pillow soft ass cheek, signaling her to get up. Rosita extended her long butterscotch colored leg, exposing the clear liquid that had seeped from her pussy. I was face to face with her budding flower, so close that I stuck my tongue out and lapped at her juices. She was so wet, and she tasted so sweet. Even her scent was intoxicating. Rosita lowered her leg, grabbed my hand and led me right out onto the balcony. She pushed me into the corner, unzipped my 501’s, and released my anaconda from its cage of black denim. The streetlight shone directly down on my manhood, making it glisten as though it was sent from the heavens.

  Rosita examined my shaft, rubbed, and gently squeezed the mushroom top, then dropped to her knees. “Aye, Papi,” Rosita whispered before taking me into her mouth.

  I entered the room shortly after having my mind blown and went to the bathroom to freshen up. Just as I flushed the toilet, I heard the familiar ring tone indicating it was Victoria. There goes my baaaaaby, blared through the phone.

  “There goes my baby,” I said coolly into the receiver.

  “Hey, Daddy” Victoria sang. “You miss me yet?”

  I knew it was time to wrap things up. My baby was tipsy and horny. “You know I do, ma. You ready to go home?”

  “Yes, I am, baby. I am so tired.”

  That’s all I needed to hear. My baby wanted me home, so home I would go.

  “I’m getting my jacket. I’ll be home in a minute. You be safe driving, ma.” I was just about to hang up when I asked. “Aye, ma. Say you want it.” I knew how much Victoria loved it when I would say that. I didn’t need confirmation, but I wanted to hear it.

  “I want it.”

  With that, we disconnected the call.

  *****
/>   Victoria

  I ran inside, grabbed the Moscato, and as many wine glasses that I could carry. “Turn that shit down!” I screamed while handing them out. Karley turned the music down and instinctually began filling the glasses.

  “I’m ‘bout to go. I just wanted to thank all of y’all for coming and sharing in my special day. Y’all are truly great and more than welcome to chill and do ya thang. Please raise your glasses.”

  Karley jumped in and cut me off. “Uh, you can’t make the toast, let me do it. Ladies, one of the original, true playas is about to embark on that dreaded road called marriage. She is retiring from the game, but she will coach from the sidelines. Now, with this bitch out the picture, we get seventy-five percent of the single men back into population.”

  The ladies laughed and cheered Karley on. I just shook my head at that fool.

  “So, ladies, we all know I gotta take this rat to get some cheese. Let’s give a big round of applause for the soon to be Mrs. White,” Karley continued.

  I added, “Fuck you all very much. It’s been real bitches. Remember, play the game, don’t let the game play you.”

  Karley yelled out while raising her glass, “I’ll drink to that!”

  I gave them all the finger and raised my glass for the toast before I raced out the door to my baby.

  I walked in the door to find Jody laying on the bed, still fully clothed. “Are you really laying on my bed in them smoky clothes?” I playfully nagged while slapping him on his ass.

  “I was gon’ hop in the shower, but I figured you would act all suspicious and shit, so I waited on you, ma. Will you bathe me?”

  Would I bathe him? Was he serious? I would do anything and everything I could for him. “Of course I will baby, take that shit off,” I said while undressing and heading toward the shower. I glanced back to see Jody removing his jeans, he was already topless. All I could do was think, Damn, that’s all mine.

  Jody looked up and saw me watching, and he started moving a little slower. With his mini strip tease, he lowered his Ralph Lauren boxers a little at a time. When he reached the creases of his legs and dick, my mouth watered. Such a sexy Y. I enjoyed the show for a few seconds longer, then I decided to get the water running. The sooner I could be body to body with him, the better.

  11

  Victoria

  Saturday morning was finally here, I thought to myself before rising from my slumber. I yawned, rubbed my eyes, and threw my bare legs off the side of the bed. I padded across the carpet to the bathroom to brush my teeth, but a wave a heat swept over my body. My mouth got watery and the spit salty. I dashed to the toilet and emptied my stomach. I’d always had a nervous stomach, so naturally I knew it was nerves. This day was the day I committed my life to someone else, I was surprised I didn’t have the runs too.

  I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and turned the shower on. I stepped into the hot water and flinched when each droplet of liquid stone rained on my hardened nipples. That’s when it hit me— pregnant?

  My cycle was known for being on its own schedule, so I never knew if it was early or late. I didn’t even know when to count. It just showed up when it wanted to and lingered for as long as it saw fit. Mother Nature, definitely, was not good to me.

  As I lathered my body, I tried to think back to the last time I even had a cycle. Nothing. I couldn’t even remember. I hurried from the shower, quickly dried off, and threw on some sweats. No panties. No bra. I was in a rush to run to the CVS pharmacy for a pregnancy test.

  No sooner than I hit the door to come out of the room, the scent of bacon filled the air and vomit filled my mouth. The toilet was too far, the kitchen was a no-no, and the only place left was the gigantic flowerpot next to the door. I dry heaved for what felt like forever while Karley looked on in excitement. I finally got my composure and stood up.

  “Damn, bitch! How long ya been knocked up?” Karley snickered.

  I was so upset and there she was picking. Didn’t she know I needed her right then?

  “I was going to go get a test because I can’t remember when I had my last cycle,” I said as my eyes filled with fresh tears and my bottom lip began to tremble.

  “Aww, look at the widdle bebe, all emotional and shit. C’mere let Auntie hold da baby,” Karley joked in baby talk while placing her arm around my shoulder.

  “You wanna go with me to get the test?” I asked while raising my head from my sister’s shoulder.

  “Hell naw, bitch, but I will go with you in the bathroom to brush your teeth. What the fuck you been eatin’? Garlic cloves rolled around in dog shit?” Karley said while scrunching up her nose.

  We shared a little giggle and I covered my mouth to avoid further polluting the air in which my dear Karley breathed.

  We got to CVS and there was no one in there, so it should be quick, great. I liked quick. We walked the aisle before arriving at the pregnancy test location. I walked toward the tests to read the boxes and see which would be the most reliable. Karley slowly walked down the aisle looking at everything on the shelf.

  When she finally reached me she said, “You see this shit? The beginning of the aisle had pads and tampons and shit, the next section was the condoms, and the next section is the pregnancy tests. You got a period? You need pads. No condoms? You need pregnancy tests.” Karley stared at me as though she’d just had some big revelation.

  “You high?” I asked while staring into her slanted eyes.

  She looked at me and smiled, “Yeah, why?”

  I had to smile at her and think back on our last cipher. Good thing I went in at the bridal shower because now there will be no more smoking for me. I already knew the outcome of the test. How would I tell Jody? Would he be happy? What if he said the timing wasn’t right? I was overwhelmed by a billion thoughts and overtaken by my emotions. I broke down and cried. Karley grabbed me and I buried my head in her chest and cried. Karley was slightly rocking and rubbing my back.

  “Its gon’ be okay, babe. Today is your day. Stop crying and let’s get this test and go get ready for the wedding.”

  I grabbed the first test I saw, wiped my tears on my sleeves, paid for my test, and left without a word. When we got back home, I went into the bathroom with Karley hot on my heels.

  “Damn, bitch, fifty feet, please,” I said, joking with the investigator. She was nosey.

  “Oh, my bad, just hurry up. I wanna know what it says.”

  I think she was more anxious than I was, probably so she could say how she predicted it and how she could tell the future. I felt the trickle of my urine as it left my body and then followed the flow. I peed on the stick, placed the cap on it, and sat it on the side of the tub. I washed my hands and opened the door, only to find Karley waiting on the other side.

  “How many minutes we gotta wait?” she asked all wide eyed and biting the side of her fingernail.

  “Oh, I don’t know, I didn’t read the instructions. Wait, lemme get the box.”

  I went to get the box out the trashcan when my peripheral vision showed me the test. I picked it up and stared. Karley came in and stopped as soon as her bare feet hit the cold tile.

  “What’s it say? What’s it say?” Karley asked. She snatched the test from my hand and read the word Positive. Karley screamed in excitement and did the happy dance while singing, “V and Jody sitting in the tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes V with the baby carriage. You doing it, V. You got a good man with a good job, you ‘bout to marry him girl, and now you ‘bout to start popping out babies. Oh, you ‘bout to have no worries for the next eighteen years. You got the life, man. When a nigga decide to make you his wife and you have his kid, that nigga telling you he wanna be tied to you for the rest of his life.”

  I sat and listened as Karley gave me my lesson for the day. “Think about it, should he die, you guaranteed money. If he lives, you guaranteed money. Child support, alimony, whatever. Why you think so many men in jail behind that shit? Because don’t no
nigga wanna be wrapped up in baby mama drama shit. Now, yo’ man said fuck all that, I am gon’ be with her forever, and I will deal with the legalities if it ever comes to that. That man loves you, girl. Ain’t no way he gon’ feel some type of way about you carrying his seed. So, how you gon’ tell him?”

  I thought of everything Karley just said, and I guessed it made sense, but I didn’t really know how I was going to tell him. I would just have to figure it out. “I don’t know yet. Can we just keep it between us? I will figure it out after the wedding. Karley, don’t say a word to anybody—not even Leon.”

  “Girl, ain’t nobody gon’ tell Leon. This yo’ shit, not mine. I am just a loving auntie who is going to spoil this child rotten, and who’s going to grab a bottle of Moscato for a toast. And don’t protest. Wine is good for you and the baby.”

  She knows me so well, I thought as she ran out of the room in search of the wine and the glasses. When she returned, I was still standing in the same spot thinking everything over. Karley passed me a glass and popped the top. She filled mine with no more than a shot and filled hers to the rim.

  I looked at Karley with questioning eyes. She responded to my stare, “What, bitch? You knocked up, not me, and why should I let this bottle go to waste? Hell, its already open, may as well drink it. Besides, we got a reason to celebrate.”

  I smiled at her old drunk ass. Wait, she wasn’t what would even be classified as a drunk. She was more like a wino. Anytime there was a celebration of some sort, or good news, she was the first to grab the Moscato. It had now become a ritual. When there was a toast in order we grabbed the wine. We had been doing it for so long we kept a bottle in the fridge on standby, just in case.

  Karley started, “Here’s to the little one growing inside your belly, I hope you find love in that person that you have never found before. Here’s to a happy, get fat and go all out pregnancy, and to a smooth delivery, may it slip out just as easy as it slipped in.”