Coalescence - SF3

by Meagher, Susan X

  "Well, I wouldn’t put it in quite those terms, but I have heard that you really get around, Ryan. I’m just concerned about Jamie, because this is all so new to her."

  Ryan put her cup down and raised her face to the sky, composing her thoughts so that Mia would understand her completely. She turned so that she faced the small woman squarely. "I’m deeply in love with Jamie. I’m going to spend the rest of my life with her, if she’ll have me. I have been with a lot of women, but none of them has ever affected me like she has. She’s one of the nicest, sweetest, most generous people I’ve ever met, and I’m honored that she’s chosen me."

  Mia sat in stunned silence; regretting that she had put Ryan on the spot, but grateful that she had responded so openly.. "God, Ryan, I had no idea you were that serious." She reached out to grasp Ryan’s hand, giving it a friendly squeeze. "I knew Jamie was wild about you, but I was afraid it might be a little one-sided." It was not an easy admission, and an apology was in order. "I’m really sorry that I assumed that about you."

  "I have no one to blame for that but myself," Ryan grumbled. "I’ve never intentionally hurt anyone, but I know that quite a few women were hurt by my inability to form an attachment. I can’t change what I’ve done in the past, but it will never happen again. I’m going to put every ounce of my energies into making this relationship work," she added firmly, her resolve evident in her clear blue eyes.

  Mia leaned over and kissed her lightly on the cheek. "I’m really glad that you found each other, Ryan. She doesn’t know this, but I was really worried about her when she decided to marry Jack. I mean, he was a really great guy and all, but it was obvious that she had no real spark for him. With you, she really acts like a woman in love. It’s great to see her so happy."

  Ryan paused at that statement, and uttered a small, wry chuckle. "You know, sometimes I feel so sorry for Jack that it just makes me want to cry. If he loves her anything like I do, I can’t imagine losing something that precious." She shook her head at the thought, allowing herself to feel how devastated she would be if Jamie no longer loved her.

  "I know he said he loved her, Ryan, but how much can you love someone who doesn’t love you back in the same way? I think he may have been in love with who he wanted her to be, rather than who she was." She added confidently, "I think you love the real Jamie."

  ‘The real Jamie is so much better than anything I could fantasize," Ryan fervently declared.

  "Could you be any more wonderful?" came a soft voice over her shoulder.

  Ryan’s face lit up in a luminous smile as she turned and caught Jamie’s loving gaze. "C’mere, Sweet Stuff," she commanded, as her partner came out onto the balcony and curled up into her lap. Ryan placed several small kisses on her lips, smiling through the tender touches. "Hey, guess what Mia brought?" She provided a fairly large clue by holding up her cup.

  "I just changed my mind," Jamie declared, getting off Ryan’s lap and climbing onto Mia’s. "I love you the best," she said as she snuggled against Mia’s chest.

  "Looks like you were worried about the wrong person’s fidelity," Ryan joked to Mia as she left to prepare her partner’s coffee.

  "What did she mean by that?" Jamie asked with a quizzical look on her face.

  "I um...kinda made the mistake of assuming that she wasn’t as serious about you as you were about her." The admission was accompanied by an embarrassed grin.

  "And I assume she set you straight," Jamie replied.

  "Completely," Mia agreed, rolling her eyes. "She said the sweetest things about you, James. It was really darling. I just had no idea that she was so open about her feelings."

  "I’ve never known anyone who was so connected to how they feel," Jamie said. "It’s really easy for her to express her feelings, if she trusts someone."

  Ryan came back onto the balcony just as Jamie finished speaking. "I’m going to Mass just down the street at 9:30, Jamie. Do you want to go with me?"

  Jamie checked her watch and saw that it was just 8:45. "Yeah, I’d like to. Do I have time to take a shower?"

  "Sure," Ryan replied. "We don’t need to leave until about 9:10."

  "Oh, but I don’t have any decent clothes," she said as she did a mental inventory. "I didn’t know we were going to church."

  "This is a Catholic church in Santa Monica, Jamie. I’m guessing the dress code is ‘no swimsuits’."

  "Really? I usually wear a dress to church. Are you sure?"

  "I’m wearing my purple T-shirt that we got yesterday, and some khaki shorts. If you want to look like you’re with me, dress accordingly," she ordered. "Could I use your shower so we can get ready at the same time, Mia?" Ryan asked as she turned to go to their room.

  "Sure, no problem," Mia replied agreeably.

  When Ryan was out of earshot, Mia turned and asked, "So what’s up with that? Don’t you two lovebirds shower together?"

  Jamie blushed to the roots of her hair as she confessed, "We haven’t really done um...everything together."

  "What kind of everything haven’t you done?" Mia asked, narrowing her eyes suspiciously.

  "We haven’t really had sex together yet," Jamie admitted.

  "What!?" Mia shrieked. "Why the hell not!?"

  "It was only a few weeks ago that I decided that this was right for me and that I was ready to take the plunge. We just couldn’t find anywhere to be together that was private. We can’t do it at her father’s house, and Cassie was still in Berkeley."

  "So why didn’t you go to a hotel?"

  "I wanted it to be special; you know, a time we’d always remember."

  "How could you not remember the first time you make love to a hottie like that?" Mia cried. "You could do it on a bus and have it be memorable, Jamie!"

  "I know, I know," she muttered, her embarrassment growing. "I’m really struggling with this, Mia. Cut me some slack, okay?"

  "I’m sorry, James. I don’t mean to give you a hard time. I’m just surprised, that’s all," she admitted. "I never would have asked her if she was serious about you if I had known this! She must love you an awful lot to wait all these weeks."

  "Um...months," Jamie corrected shyly, flinching in anticipation of Mia’s reaction.

  "What do you mean, months!?" Mia was slightly dumbfounded, and her expression reflected her surprise.

  "She didn’t sleep with the woman she saw before me either, mainly because I talked her into trying to build a relationship based on something other than sex."

  "So how long has it been for her?"

  "She’s only had sex once in seven months," Jamie figured with a gulp as she realized how long that really was.

  "Seven months! Seven months! Are you crazy? When you finally unleash her, she’s gonna devour you in one bite! That’s just not natural, Jamie. You could hurt yourself waiting that long!"

  "Well, if you hear screaming coming from Pebble Beach tomorrow, you’ll know that you were right." Jamie got up to take her shower, hoping that her insistence on celibacy would not prove to be her demise.

  Part 2

  During the walk to the church, Jamie quizzed Ryan about the service. She had never been to a Catholic Mass and found herself intensely curious. They arrived at about 9:25, and the pews were nearly full. They wound up sitting just three rows from the front, right in front of an open door. Ryan was quite pleased with their placement, since she was usually warm, but Jamie knew she would be cold with the rather stiff ocean breeze blowing in on her. To her great pleasure, they closed one side of the double door just as the service began and she was much more comfortable.

  The service began with an upbeat song, which Ryan sang from memory. Next came readings from the New and Old Testaments, followed by the gospel reading and a relatively brief sermon. The priest looked around as he wound up his remarks, then asked how many people had participated in the AIDS Ride. Jamie was surprised and pleased to see about 15 people stand up, all wearing their Tshirts. She and Ryan hopped up as well, and the large crowd gave them a heartfe
lt standing ovation. The priest praised their efforts and congratulated them for their caring and dedication.

  Jamie was quite touched when they took their seats again. "You knew that was going to happen, didn’t you?" she asked in a whisper.

  "I had a feeling it might," Ryan admitted. "They have a really big gay and lesbian outreach group in this parish, and I know the pastor is very supportive. He rides a bike, too, so he knows what a big deal it is."

  "Well, it was very sweet. Thanks for bringing me."

  As they walked back down California after the service, Jamie asked Ryan about her current relationship with her church. "It’s funny, but I have been thinking about going more regularly. I just feel that I have so much to be thankful for, that it makes me want to thank God in a more formal way."

  "Do you like your parish?"

  "It’s okay. But if I had a church like St. Monica’s, I would really love to go. How do you feel about yours?"

  "I love it, but maybe that’s because my grandfather is there. Would you consider going with me?"

  "Yeah, let’s try your grandfather’s church and see if we can both be comfortable there. I’d really prefer to go with you, if possible."

  "I would too. If you don’t like the Episcopal Church, I’d be very willing to search for a Catholic church that we both liked. I think that going to church together would be a very good thing for us."

  "It’s a deal," she agreed.

  It was eleven a.m. when they arrived home, and Mia was ready for the beach. Her father belonged to a prestigious city club in San Francisco that offered reciprocal privileges for her to use a local beach club in Santa Monica under his name. Since none of them had eaten, they decided to have breakfast when they got there.

  They walked the short distance and were shown to a nice white, wrought iron table with a forest green umbrella that shielded them from the intense sun. An eager young man came to take their order, and Ryan ordered for all of them, choosing eggs benedict, banana pancakes, pecan waffles, a green chili omelet, and steel-cut oatmeal with cream and brown sugar. They each ordered another coffee and a glass of juice as well. Given the size of the order, Jamie thought she could see the waiter trying to figure out where the other members of their party were, and when he brought out the dishes, he was completely unsure of where to put everything. Ryan noticed his confusion and told him to just put it anywhere that it fit. He did so, looking over his shoulder as he walked away.

  Jamie and Mia laughed at his confusion, but Ryan couldn’t spare the time. She dug into the oatmeal, performing her usual pleasure dance. Jamie knew that she had to get cracking if she was going to get any of the dishes, so she grabbed the plate of pancakes before Ryan could. "You’d better grab something, Mia. Time is of the essence with Ryan around."

  Mia reached for the waffles just as Ryan did. Those big blue eyes narrowed dangerously, and a firmly held fork pointed right for her hand as Mia meekly relinquished her tenuous hold. Ryan threw back her head, laughing uproariously. "You’d starve to death in the O’Flaherty household," she chided. "You can never give up on a plate you’ve claimed. It’s a sign of weakness that the others will surely exploit!" She politely placed the dish in front of Mia, snagging only one quarter of the waffle as her prize.

  "Is she like this at every meal?" Mia asked incredulously, starting to eat more quickly than normal to make sure she didn’t wind up hungry.

  "Yep. It’s a constant struggle," Jamie acknowledged. "We almost always have to order three entrees if I’m going to get anything at all."

  "What do you do with all of those calories?" Mia asked, turning to Ryan. "You’re just as lean as a greyhound."

  "I don’t know," she replied through a mouthful of waffle. "I’ve always eaten this much. I must just be used to it."

  "Don’t let her kid you, Mia," Jamie smirked. "She runs around like a hyperactive two-year-old, all day long."

  Ryan was preparing her defense when three women beginning to limber up to play volleyball on a sand court caught her attention. Her eyes began to sparkle as she said, "I gotta check something out." She jumped up and ran over to the women, engaging them in conversation for just a moment before she was back again, grinning like the Cheshire cat.

  "What was that all about?" Jamie inquired suspiciously.

  "Jamie, sweetie, honeybunch," Ryan said, as she got down on her knees in front of her partner. "Would you mind terribly if I spent just a few minutes with my new friends over there?" she asked coyly, pointing at the women who were now watching her for an indication of her readiness.

  "What are you going to do with your new best friends?" Jamie asked, as she affectionately fluffed the bangs out of Ryan’s innocent blue eyes.

  "We’re just gonna play for a little while, if you don’t mind, that is," she said solemnly.

  "Do you know how to play volleyball?" she asked, in her best maternal voice.

  "I think so," Ryan said as she nodded her head, her face brimming with childlike innocence.

  "Okay, you can play for a little while, but don’t get hurt." She leaned over and whispered into her ear, "You need to be in tip top shape for tomorrow."

  "I won’t!" Ryan said happily as she stripped out of her clothes. Jamie noticed, with surprise, that Ryan’s swimsuit matched the outfits that the other volleyball players wore: high cut briefs and racerback sports bras. The other women sported logos on their outfits, but Jamie knew that Ryan hated to use her body as a billboard. When they were shopping for gear they had actually spent the better part of an hour finding bike shorts that did not have the manufacturer’s name on the thigh.

  "Just wait one more minute," Jamie said, rooting around in her pack as Ryan fidgeted, anxious to start playing. "I have to put some sun block on your shoulders before you take off."

  "The sand will stick to me," she whined.

  "You won’t get sand all the way up here," Jamie reasoned, as she slathered gel on her shoulders and back.

  "Hmrff," was all that Ryan could summon up as a rejoinder. She used the time wisely, though, grabbing the omelet and finishing it off while Jamie worked away.

  When Jamie finished, she slapped her on the butt, saying, "Go get ‘em, Tiger."

  Since breakfast was finished, she and Mia found a pair of comfortable Adirondack chairs and turned them so they were facing the court. She noted that, although Ryan’s new playmates were in fantastic shape, they were all less muscular than her generously sculpted partner, with long, lean bodies, rather like whippets. While Ryan was also very trim, she had a solid, muscular build that made her look somewhat formidable next to the other players. They warmed up for a few minutes, just casually tossing the ball back and forth.

  "I didn’t know she played volleyball," Mia said, as they watched them prepare.

  "I didn’t either," Jamie admitted. "I just found out on Friday that she played basketball in college. She seems to really like having little secrets that she only reveals when I ask her a direct question."

  I just bet she does, Mia mused, not thoroughly convinced that Ryan was completely reformed, even though she believed that she was sincere in her attempts. "She doesn’t look like the other women," Mia observed, echoing Jamie’s earlier thought. "I wonder if she’ll be any good."

  "I don’t know," Jamie said. "I’ve only seen her play rugby, and I had no idea what was going on in that madness. I do know one thing for sure. Whether or not she’s any good, she’ll play hard."

  Their questions about Ryan’s abilities were answered about four minutes into the game. The score was tied, two to two, and Ryan’s partner had just served. The ball flew back and forth a few times, finally coming to Ryan who was standing right next to the net. The ball was high; actually so high that Jamie assumed it would sail over Ryan’s head and land between her and her partner. The green eyes grew wide as Ryan coiled, gathering her muscled legs beneath her, and then began to rise. She kept going, up, up, up, until her head was above the net. She pulled her right arm back as she rose and chopped at th
e ball, hitting it right at its apex with unbelievable force. At that instant, the opposing player dove to the spot that she anticipated the spike to hit. She misjudged and over-committed, falling to the sand as the ball hit her right on the butt with stunning velocity. The ball ricocheted as it hit her, changing direction and flying nearly over to where Jamie and Mia sat watching, open mouthed.

  Ryan trotted over to retrieve the ball, a huge grin on her face. She cast a glance at her friends, wiggling one eyebrow at Jamie as she said, "That had to sting!" She grabbed the ball and headed back, both spectators watching her firm butt twitch as she ran.

  "Did you see...?" Mia stuttered.

  "Yeah, I think I did..." Jamie replied.

  "That wasn’t human!" Mia finally spat out.

  "Can you imagine the bruise that poor woman is gonna have on her ass?" Jamie finally gasped, as both she and Mia collapsed with laughter.

  The game continued at a rather frenetic pace, and Ryan’s partner looked mighty pleased that she had been paired with the dark stranger. Jamie felt her ire begin to rise as Ryan’s partner beamed over at her. With some difficulty, she forced the jealous feelings down, knowing that Ryan was more interested in the match than in her teammate.

  As the game wore on, the intensity of the match increased dramatically, and Jamie noticed that the women on the other team now seemed more interested in stuffing the ball down Ryan’s throat than in actually winning the game. "You know, she was telling me about how a player on another team beaned her with a basketball during a game. She didn’t seem to have any idea why that would happen, but after watching this, I think I have a clue," Jamie said reflectively. "It just looks so effortless for her. That could really start to piss you off if you were busting your ass playing against her."

  Focusing on the game and the interaction of the players for a moment, Mia had to agree. "Yeah, she just looks like she’s having fun. The others look like they’re working." After a pause, Mia added in a quiet voice, "God, will you look at that body."