[Alabama Summer 01.0] Where I Belong
Page 16
I park the truck in my usual spot at my parents’ house. I help Mia out on her side, keeping her hand in mine as we walk toward the pool.
“Sometimes I wish I would’ve never slept with her that night, but then I wouldn’t have Nolan. And I can’t imagine not having that little maniac.”
She laughs softly against my shoulder as we round the pool. “I can’t imagine you not having him either.”
I slide the door open, placing my hand on her back and moving her ahead of me into the house. Tessa is sitting on the couch, her lap completely covered in used tissues and her face in her hands.
“Tessa? What’s wrong?” Mia goes straight to my sister, sitting down next to her.
“Are you all right?” I ask, moving in front of her. I haven’t seen Tessa cry since we were younger, and back then, I was usually the cause of it. The older she gets, the less she lets things get to her.
If she had balls, they’d be made of steel.
She looks up at me and then back to Mia. “Oh, my God. Are you guys together now?” Mia nods and Tessa begins to cry harder. Not the reaction I had been expecting. Tessa was my biggest supporter when it came to winning over Mia. “That makes me so happy. You have no idea.” She sobs, prompting Mia to wrap her arms around her.
“Do you need a girls’ night?” Mia asks, giving me a knowing look over Tessa’s shoulder.
I pick up on the message loud and clear. The two of them don’t need me here for this. Nor do I really want to be here for whatever the fuck happens at a girls’ night.
I lean down and kiss Mia’s forehead. “I’m gonna head out. I’ll see you after work tomorrow.” She winks at me and nods against Tessa. I place my hand on my sister’s shoulder. “If you say this is because of Luke, I’ll go find him right now and beat his ass.” She whimpers against Mia, and I would’ve taken that as a yes until she begins shaking her head.
Fucking women and their mixed signals. A simple yes or no would’ve been nice.
I exhale loudly in annoyance. “Just call me if you need me.” I smile once more at Mia and get the hell out of there before I get any more cryptic responses.
“SEE, IT’S A good thing I stocked up like I did yesterday,” I say, carrying over two bags of chips and the box of cookies that Nolan and I had made a dent in yesterday.
Girls’ night can’t exist without some sort of junk food.
I drop them onto the coffee table and settle in next to Tessa, turning my body toward her. She isn’t crying anymore, but she looks emotionally drained. I tuck my legs underneath me and place my hand on her knee. “What happened with Luke?”
She sniffs, leaning her head so it rests on the back of the couch. Her eyes are puffy and bloodshot and her nose is bright red. I’ve never seen Tessa cry before. Not even when we were younger. She was always the stronger one out of the two of us.
“I didn’t know where Luke stood on the whole kid thing. We’ve never talked about it and I didn’t want to just drop the baby bomb in his lap without being somewhat prepared for his reaction.” She reaches up and wipes a tear from her face. “I was anticipating him saying that he’d want to wait a few years to start a family, and then I’d say something like instead of waiting a few years, how do you feel about waiting a few months? But he didn’t say that.” She looks down into her lap and begins picking at her nail polish.
“What did he say?”
“He said he didn’t know if he wanted kids. He said that every time he saw Ben and Nolan together, he never once thought that was something he’d want someday.” She lifts her head and looks at me. “I got so angry. I pushed him away from me and started screaming at him. I told him I was tired of whatever the hell it was we were doing together and that I didn’t want to see him anymore.” She starts crying again, and I grab her hand before she continues. “I don’t even know if he was fully committed to me. He could’ve been fucking every girl in Ruxton for all I know, and then the thought of him getting all those girls pregnant pissed me off even more. I was yelling and crying. I don’t even know if I was making any sense. He tried to calm me down, but I couldn’t even look at him. I told him never to call me again and I left.”
I grab a tissue out of the box and hand it to her. “So you didn’t tell him you might be pregnant?”
Even if she and Luke weren’t together anymore, I still thought he should know about it.
She chuckles softly, which completely throws me off.
Ending things with the father of your unborn child doesn’t seem humorous to me.
“The timing of this whole thing couldn’t have been more fucked up. After I got home, I went to the bathroom and low and behold, there was my stupid period. That bitch really took her sweet ass time making an appearance.” She shakes her head and drops it to the side, leaning it against the couch. “I keep thinking that if I would’ve just waited a day, that whole conversation wouldn’t have happened and we’d still be screwing around. But I’m glad I didn’t wait. I want a family someday. I want to get married and have kids and I wouldn’t get that with him. I’d just be wasting my time.”
Her words are certain, but she seems saddened by the loss of whatever it was that she and Luke shared.
I tighten my grip on her hand. “I’m really sorry things didn’t work out. With Luke and the baby. I know you were excited about being a mom.”
She shrugs. “It’s probably for the best. I see what my brother has to go through raising a baby with somebody he isn’t with. And I’m sure Luke would’ve ended things once I told him that I was keeping it.” She grabs a few cookies and rests back on the arm of the couch. “I am going to miss the sex though. My God.”
I chuckle and grab a bag of chips. “That good?” She eyes me up humorously. “Well, there’s always Reed. Have you two ever gotten together?”
I really had no idea if the two of them had ever hooked up. Reed was a good looking guy, and Tessa was, well, she was Tessa.
She holds her hand up to stop me, grimacing. “Gross. That would be like sleeping with Ben. And he’s got a lot of baggage. Didn’t he tell you about his last girlfriend?”
I shake my head and dive into my chip bag, preparing myself for some gossip.
“It’s really fucked up. He started dating this girl senior year, Molly Mcafferty, and they were like, crazy in love. Everyone thought that they’d end up married with a shit load of babies someday.” She gets up off the couch and walks to the fridge, returning with two beers and handing me one before reclaiming her seat. “But that obviously didn’t happen.” Tessa takes a sip of her beer and licks her lips. “Molly went to college in Virginia and Reed stayed here, getting on at his dad’s company. He was determined to make it work though and stayed completely faithful to her. I mean, he acted like they were married already. He wouldn’t even look at other girls. He wrote her letters all the time and would take road trips every weekend to go see her, but she never came back here to see him. Not even during holidays. And after a while, she stopped calling him all together.”
I have an idea where this story is going and I almost don’t want to hear anymore. Reed is a sweet guy, and doesn’t deserve what I fear Tessa is about to tell me.
She continues with a heavy sigh. “I voiced my opinion on their seemingly one-sided relationship and he got all pissed at me. I told him that if he was so certain that she wasn’t two timing him, that he should go see her during the week when she wasn’t expecting him.”
“Did he?”
“Yup. He walked right in on her banging some dude in her dorm room.”
I have the sudden urge to go find Reed and hug him and beat the shit out of this Molly chick. I despise cheaters. My mom’s last boyfriend was one.
“Oh, God. Poor Reed. Has he dated anybody since her?”
She digs into her bag of chips, popping a few in her mouth before answering. “I wouldn’t classify hooking up with random chicks as dating. He’s like the king of one-night stands around here.”
I chuckle softly.
“He’s just afraid of falling for some chick and then getting crushed again,” she continues. “But he’s never admitted that to me. He acts as if Molly didn’t completely wreck him, but he didn’t see what I saw. That boy was destroyed.”
We both chew up our mouthfuls, placing our chip bags on the coffee table when we are finished.
I am picking at the label on my beer bottle when I feel a pair of eyes on me. I look up and meet her beaming smile. “What?”
“You got naked in front of him last night, didn’t you?”
There’s the Tessa I know and love. I chuckle and shake my head. “No. I sent him a text that was meant for you.” I pull my phone out of my pocket and show it to her.
She arches her brow, reading over the text several times. “Damn. Well, that’s definitely one way to go about getting him out of the friend zone. How did he react to this?”
“How do you think he reacted to it?” I ask playfully. I scoot over next to her so that we can rest our heads against each other’s. Our legs are stretched out in front of us with our feet propped up on the edge of the coffee table. “You were right.”
“I usually am. But what exactly are you referring to?”
I sigh, pausing for dramatic effect. She bumps her knee against mine, indicating that she isn’t having my stalling tactics today.
“I love him.”
I actually feel my heart swell inside my chest when I admit it out loud. The butterflies that only Ben can evoke inside my stomach begin fluttering about in there. I feel my love for him streaming through me as if it runs through my veins. And I know without a doubt that I’ll love him fiercely and forever.
Her hand squeezes my knee. “Of course you do. And he loves you. It’s ridiculously obvious and annoying now that I’m single.” She yawns at the end of her observation, prompting me to do the same at the sound of hers.
I want to believe Tessa. I want to believe what my own heart is telling me. But I’ll never be sure until he speaks those words to me himself. A part of me thinks I shouldn’t love him, but for completely different reasons than I’ve ever had before. I know how hard it’s going to be to leave him when I have to go back to Georgia. And leaving my heart here isn’t going to make it any easier. Maybe that’s why Ben hasn’t said those words to me, if he even feels them at all. Maybe he’s being sensible and keeping his heart out of this.
But I want him to jump off that cliff after me. I want him to feel that rush and risk the pain because I’m willing to.
I’d risk it all.
“You know you’re best friends with someone when you’re willing to handcuff them, while they’re practically naked, and help them get ready for a sex fest with your brother,” Tessa says through a smile that I hear rather than see.
I can’t see much of anything in the position I am currently in besides the headboard and the comforter.
She fastens the handcuffs to my wrists, securing my arms behind my back. “This is nuts, considering we don’t have a key for these. How fucked up would it be if he got held up at work and you had to stay like this for hours? Or days?”
Shit. I hadn’t thought about that. God, that would be awful. Not to mention embarrassing. I’m not sure how I’d manage to go to the bathroom like this.
I open my mouth to respond when I hear the sound of the sliding glass door opening.
“Showtime,” Tessa says. “I’ll be heading out for a few hours. Try not to kill him.”
“Thanks,” I whisper.
My entire body is buzzing with anticipation as she leaves the room, closing the door behind her. I hear muffled voices in the distance, laughing to myself at the speech Tessa rehearsed with me when I asked her to help me out tonight.
Mia was not acting like herself today. She seemed a bit on edge and a little hostile. I had to restrain her. And then the kicker. She’s been a bad girl, Ben. A very bad girl.
I would’ve loved to have seen her face when she delivered that line. And his for that matter.
The floorboards in the hallway creak with his footsteps that inch closer until finally, the door swings open.
I can’t see him, but I can hear him clearly with the one ear that is facing the ceiling. I am kneeling on the edge of the bed, my body angled down and my cheek resting on the comforter. My wrists are bound behind my back, and I’m only wearing a very skimpy pair of black panties. They barely cover anything and I might as well be naked right now. And by the sound of Ben’s heavy panting, he isn’t hating this surprise.
“Dear God. A man should be warned before he walks in on you like this. I almost came at the sight of you, baby.” He moves closer and places his hand on my lower back, running it up my spine. I whimper at his touch. It’s like fire melting ice. “My dirty girl looks absolutely stunning face down. And I bet you like this, don’t you? I bet you’re dripping right now.”
“Touch me and find out.”
His hand moves lower, teasing me between my legs. “Holy fuck,” he grunts, sliding my panties down to my knees. His fingers dip inside me, moving in a steady rhythm as I moan against his touch. His lips press against my back, licking and kissing my skin. “What do you want, angel? Tell me and I’ll give it to you.”
“You, Ben. I want you.”
“And you’re going to get me, sweetheart. But I want you to be specific right now. Do you want me to make you come like this?”
I groan loudly into the mattress.
Jesus. His fingers are like magic. I am certain he can get me off in two seconds with them if he wants to. But I know what he wants to hear and what I want him to give me.
“I want you to do whatever you want with me. Take what you need and don’t hold back. This belongs to you.”
“Yes, baby.” He removes his fingers, and the sound of him sucking on them nearly pushes me over the edge. And then I hear his belt loosening and I’m reminded of one more very important thing.
This needs to be said before he uses my body for his own pleasure. This is my fantasy as much as it is his.
“Leave your uniform on.”
“Fuck yes.” The sound of a zipper lowering is the last noise I hear before he enters me. We both moan together, his louder than mine, as his hands grip my forearms. “Christ, you’re perfect. I don’t think I’ve ever been this hard.”
He moves in and out of me, taking what he needs. His power during sex is immeasurable. The way his grip tightens on me, the way his hips slam against my backside. He is fucking me with such force, such greedy need. And God, I want everything he is giving me. I want him to possess every inch of me. I am certain my body is specifically made for his pleasure and his for mine. Our sounds and his words to me ring out around us. He tells me how badly he wants me. How nothing has ever felt like this. And how he’ll never get enough. I feel everything he gives me and every word he speaks. This is what being in love feels like. Raw. Honest. He makes me feel beautiful and wanted, even in this vulnerable position. When he’s close to losing it, he presses his lips to my ear and his fingers find my clit. And when he tells me to fucking come, my body answers him immediately.
I’m panting into the comforter, trying to steady my breathing, as he unfastens the handcuffs. But I know we’re not done. If I’ve learned anything from being with Ben, it’s that my insatiable hunger for him will always be met by his need for me. We’ll never be easily gratified when it comes to each other. Even after we’ve given every piece of ourselves, we’ll still want more.
His hands massage my wrists, rubbing the life back into them as I turn over onto my back. My panties are finally removed and he tosses them somewhere off the bed. He pushes my one leg close to my body as he enters me again, grinding his hips against mine.
“Keep your eyes on me,”
he commands as his forehead beads up with sweat. He grips my other knee and pushes it against my chest, leaning his hard body into mine and stroking me deeper.
Even if I wanted to look away, which I don’t—let’s be clear about that—I doubt I’d be able to. Him fucking me in his uniform has gone way past any expectation I could’ve conjured up. I watch his eyes and the possessive gleam in them. The fullness of his mouth and how it stays slightly parted. The tease of his tongue as it licks the corner of his lips. My eyes dart up to his hair and I want to grab it, to pull it hard and bring his mouth down to me. To steal that tongue of his and hold it captive in my mouth and between my legs.
But it’s his eyes that command the most attention from me. He doesn’t just look at me like a man who, as he so eloquently put it, is starved for my pussy. He looks at me like a man who would do anything for it. Who would do anything for me. It’s a look that would completely throw me off balance if I wasn’t prepared for it.
But I’m prepared.
“Talk to me.”
His lip twitches with that knowing smile of his and he slides out of me, grabbing me by my neck and sitting me up so we’re face to face. I’m pulled into his lap, my legs wrapped around his waist, and he brings his mouth to mine.
“And say what, angel? That I could kiss you for hours. That I love the taste of you on my tongue.”
He licks along my bottom lip and I open up for him, allowing him the access we both want. He explores my mouth, breathing his fire into me and setting me ablaze from the inside out. And then he breaks our kiss and presses his lips to my ear, his hands holding me tightly against him.