Alice laughed, and Rebecca wondered at what.
“I was young to marry but wanted a big family. I didn’t mind when it didn’t happen, we were happy, but when Arthur Junior came along, I was overjoyed.” Alice spoke in a fond yet sad tone. Bittersweet.
She reached over to put her empty glass on the table when Alice beamed and called to Arthur.
Rebecca died inside.
“What brings you by, dear?”
Arthur kissed his mother’s cheek. “I had a meeting not far, so I thought I’d pop in. Is this what you get up to when I’m not here?” He gave Rebecca a mock-annoyed face, but it broke into a smile. She sat up.
“We wanted to go to the seaside. This is as close as it gets. Ice cream and margarita?”
“Sounds like heaven.”
“You can’t sit there in a suit, Art. There are some clothes upstairs, aren’t there?”
“God, they must be from ten years ago, I doubt they’ll fit me.” He patted his very firm looking stomach and Rebecca tried not to think what he looked like underneath his shirt.
She threw on her cover-up and dragged out another lounger when she recovered after he went back into the house.
“I’ll get it,” Arthur said behind her, materialising from the ether. He looked so different wearing a white t-shirt with a faded logo and shorts. His feet were bare, and her eyes caught his legs, the hair on firm thighs and shaped calves.
Rebecca managed to drag her eyes away. “Thanks.” She scurried into the kitchen and brought out three ice creams and a fresh pitcher of drinks.
They all sat there, feet in the pool, sweltering, drinking, and eating.
Arthur sighed.
“Are you okay?” Alice asked.
“It’s been a stressful day.” He pinched his eyes. “This is lovely. Exactly what I needed.”
“You need to have some more fun. All you do is work.”
“You might be right.” He drained his glass. “Blimey, how much booze is in this?”
“Too much.” Rebecca grinned.
She curled up on the lounger, feeling sleepy. But with her eyes half-open, she caught Arthur watching her, his gaze slid from her toes, wet from the pool and painted bright red. His eye followed her legs all the way up, over the curve of her hip, small waist, her breasts, pushed together from the costume, and finally to her face. She was bright red and looking right at him when their eyes met. All she thought was that he wanted her, and what was worse was that she wanted him. Arthur blinked and looked away.
Rebecca looked at her watch and realising it was five, she stood up. “Well, I should get some dinner going. I’m famished.”
He frowned at the watch. “Isn’t that your watch, mum?”
“Oh, well… yes, but…” Rebecca fumbled. Alice had gone to sleep, her little snores were quiet under the sound of the radio, and Rebecca stuttered in her defence.
She blinked the tears away and took it off. “I didn’t steal it. I needed a watch and your mum… never mind.”
Rebecca slipped her wedges back on as she took off the watch and went inside. The kitchen was cool, and she felt sticky and sick.
She pulled out the cold chicken and salad from the fridge and three plates.
“I didn’t mean to imply that you stole it.” Arthur stood by the door, looking too casual.
“It’s fine, really, I understand why you would think it.”
He sighed and walked up to her. “I don’t think it. Look at me.” He turned her to face him. “I couldn’t place it. Really. She has a dozen or more of the things. I’m astonished it still keeps time.” He smiled, and took her hand, stilled it against his stomach and put it back on. “There.”
She loved that watch. It was slightly domed and ringed in silver, with a thick but narrow tan strap. She had only mentioned in passing that she was going to buy a watch, and Alice insisted that she have it.
“It keeps perfect time.” She didn’t raise her face, but her hand was still against him.
“Rebecca.” He said it so quietly. He lifted her chin with his finger making her look at him, and his eyes fell to her lips.
“Don’t.”
“Why?”
“I’m not… I don’t trust it when people want things.”
“I don’t want anything from you. I want to make you happy.”
She frowned. “Happy?”
He kissed her tenderly, barely touching her lips. “I meant what I said when I brought you back, and more. You are so lovely. I’ve wanted to hold you and kiss you…” He pressed his mouth to hers, but she pulled away.
“I can’t.”
“Say if you don’t want to kiss me, but I think you do.”
“All right, I do, but I can’t.”
“Why?”
She couldn’t tell him all the reasons it would be bad, but as she tasted her lips, all thought left her.
“I won’t hurt you, I swear it.” He kissed her again. Her limited experience made her hesitant and afraid, but it felt so good. He held her a little more firmly, and she put her arms around him, feeling his back. Arthur’s lips were firm and hot, and his tongue in her mouth felt odd, but his gentle need made her want, and she moaned as his hands went to her back, and all over her.
They leant against the kitchen cupboard, his tongue reached deeper with their bodies pressed together, and her senses overwhelmed by a man. Her mind finally began to work, and she thought of Alice.
She pushed away from him, and he let her go instantly. She had expected to have to fight, but he only smiled as he stepped back.
“Your mother, I mean, this is wrong.” She pulled her lips into her mouth, still feeling him against her.
“Why?”
Rebecca cleared her throat. “Because I’m your employee. You pay me a wage.”
“Mum would be happy.”
“I know, but I’d feel like cheap.”
He sobered and stepped back. “Excuse me?”
“I didn’t mean that, but I’d feel like I was doing something wrong. Would you have an affair with someone in your office?”
“No.”
“Then how is this different? I signed a contract with you to be your employee. You give me money to look after your mother.”
“Is that how you see what would be between us, an affair?”
“Isn’t that what it would be?”
“I care about you very much. I’ve tried not to, and I know bad things have happened to you. I don’t want to upset you, but you feel this. We both do. There is something between us. Finding you, having you back has made me happy.”
“Feeling attraction doesn’t make it right. I’d disappoint you and get hurt. I’m not strong or confident. I’m afraid and inept and inexperienced. You deserve better.”
“I don’t think you want to be happy.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “My answer is no.”
He nodded and stepped away. She plated up while he brought his mother in. They were both quiet.
A week later, on Friday, she went back to film club. Anything to avoid Arthur and the memory of his kiss.
It had rained for two days, and the air had that heavy earthy feeling to it. She hung back from the chatty group, all seemingly friendly as they discussed the film. Sipping her bottle of beer, she watched and listened in. She heard the discussion about a special screening the next week, which was her birthday. It was a silent cinema evening with a live band and talk. Only a few people from the club were going as it was expensive, but Rebecca really wanted to go.
The only seats available were a couch at the back, and she had to buy both seats. She bought them, treating herself. At least she could stretch out. She’d mildly asked if anyone was going and wanted to share her couch. There were no takers.
Rebecca was given no choice but to eat with Arthur and Alice on Tuesday.
“What are your plans for Friday?” Alice asked as they ate.
Rebecca put
her fork down. “Um, why?”
“Just wondering.”
“You know, don’t you?”
“Arthur told me, your date of birth is on the contract you signed with him.” Alice smiled.
“Fine. There’s a silent cinema night at film club. I had to buy a whole couch as no one wanted to go with me.”
Arthur perked up. “I thought you had friends there.”
“Well, I mean, people are nice, but I don’t really talk to anyone. They don’t notice me, even if I do try. They all have their little groups. I'm not good at, you know, making friends.”
“If you like, I’ll go with you.”
Rebecca’s fork hovered near her mouth after managing to pick it up again. Arthur raised his brows at her in a suggestive manner.
“You don’t have to.”
“I want to.”
He held her eye, and Alice glanced between them.
“That sounds fine, but you’ll be on your own, Alice.”
“Well, you can tell me all about it. It’ll be so nice for you two, and Arthur needs to have more of a social life.”
“All right then.”
Arthur smiled to himself, the kiss they shared – he hadn’t planned on, but it felt so right in the moment – meant something. She’d looked so gorgeous in the garden. She was more than sweet and kind, he felt it lurking underneath, and it pushed his buttons in the best way. Rebecca needed confidence and time. He knew she didn’t want to go on a date with him, but he didn’t feel bad. He needed time to win her over, for her to see he wouldn’t hurt her, and he’d make her happy.
He would bloody-well do his best.
Seven
THE BEST ROUTE?
Rebecca fussed and fretted all week. It was a date. His eyebrow wiggle over dinner told her that. The weather wasn’t hot, but sticky. She fussed over what to wear, torn between trying to put him off and impress him. She was going to get hurt, and anxiety about it was getting the better of her.
She settled on a pair of cigarillo trousers that she used to wear for work and a floaty coral top.
Arthur’s eyes crinkled in warmth when he saw her. She opened her presents and cooed over the radio to replace hers as it had broken and was quiet over a simple moonstone necklace on a gold chain from Arthur.
“This is too much, I can’t accept it.” Rebecca couldn’t remember the last time she received gifts.
“I saw it and thought you’d like it. It’d make me happy if you accepted it.”
Glancing at him she put it on and fiddled with the little clip. She smiled as she straightened it and was rewarded with a large warm one of his own, and her heart lurched.
“Good. Shall we?”
Rebecca managed a nod.
It was nice going out with him. She imagined how it might be between them, but it wasn’t going to be her life, and she had to remember that.
The cinema was abuzz over the event. The speaker was from the telly, and Rebecca liked him. The couple received a few looks as they milled about. She sipped her coffee as they stood in the crowd, and a man approached.
He greeted Arthur like an old friend. He was at the film club every week.
Joe, with his short black hair, umber skin, and tall, broad frame was attractive, but Rebecca was distracted by the pattern of his pink and yellow shirt. He looked Rebecca over. “You come to film club, right?”
“Sometimes.”
“Have you two known each other long?”
Arthur answered. “Oh, for a while, but this is our first date.”
Her heart dipped at the word.
“Ah.”
They chatted about mutual acquaintances for a while until he was called away.
“You know him well?”
“This is his cinema, we meet now and again at functions, but we’ve known each other since school, though we were in different years.”
She nodded, entirely out of her depth.
They sat at the back and settled on their deep and comfortable couch, listening to the talk, but she had her mind on Arthur next to her. His hand was right by hers, and he finally took it. She closed her eyes before glancing at him, and he watched her. She squeezed his hand.
Although she became rapt to the screen, she felt him continue to watch her in the dark. The band played to the films, and the light flickered over them.
They went for a drink afterwards, and she held onto his arm as they walked and chatted about the films and the speaker. Rebecca felt utterly comfortable and excited at the same time. Her heart ached.
The pub was trendy, where everyone was too cool for her, and there was a DJ booth over a little dancefloor. The place was getting going, and she sat awkwardly poking the ice of her drink with a straw.
They watched the crowd in silence.
He had to lean in close for her to hear. “Do you want to dance?”
“Do you?”
“It’s why I asked.”
“Okay.” She could not have felt more awkward.
“I thought you liked to dance,” he said half-laughing.
She blushed. “Maybe.”
“Then show me what you got.”
He nudged her shoulder, and she finished her drink, needing the courage.
He held her hand and led her through the crowd. She hesitated for a second before she fell into the beat, Arthur held onto her waist. She was surprised. He wasn’t old, only a few years older than she was really, but he seemed impossibly mature and buttoned down.
There was so much she didn’t know about him. She swallowed her fear of that notion and tried to enjoy herself, which she did. It was nice to dance with other people, and more specifically, him.
She checked the time, finding it later than expected and feigned being tired. Alice would be waiting up for her.
He pulled onto the drive, and the living room light was still on.
“See, waiting up for us. Are you coming in?”
His hands slid down the steering wheel and his eyes closed. She took his silence as a no.
“Okay. Well, night, and thanks.”
He turned his head and looked at her. “Don’t go. I’ve had a lovely night.”
“It was good.”
“I really enjoy your company.”
“Um. Thanks.”
He didn’t look away, and she knew what he wanted. She wanted it to. He moved over slowly, the leather creaking, and kissed her.
The passion from before was there, even more so, he wasn’t as cautious, and she wasn’t as nervous. Her hands ran through his hair, and his moved all over her. He paused for a moment and hummed when she pressed closer to him. They kissed for what felt like hours, settling into an easy rhythm.
She wanted him and didn’t know when that had ever happened. Imagining herself with him, she knew he’d be a good lover. Unlike her. She’d be awkward and ignorant, and that was if she managed not to freak out and freeze up, having no idea what she was doing. Except for the kissing part. That, apparently, was fine. He kissed her neck and down her chest into the vee of her blouse. This was uncharted territory. She pulled back.
His eyes were dark and breathing fast when he pulled away. “Come to mine. Stay with me.”
She blinked out of the hazy lust, and reality hit her. “I can’t. I have to help your mum, if I’m not home, she’ll worry.”
He leant back and pulled his lips into his mouth.
“This is a mistake.”
“If it’s me you’re afraid of or sex, I swear I’ll give you only pleasure.” Arthur reached closer so and pressed his mouth to hers with gentle lips, but she shook out of it.
“No, we talked about this, it’s not right. I won’t do this, it can’t happen again. Please.” She began to panic.
Arthur steadied his breath. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Okay, it’s okay, I won’t push. You better go in.”
He closed his eyes, and about to get out she paused and looked up at him. She was
n’t sure if he was in pain or angry. Disappointed in her probably.
“I’m sorry.” She was gone before he said anything.
He wanted her that much was clear, but she needed love and was desperate for it and afraid of it. Rebecca hurried inside. She believed what he said, but it was hard to explain it to him.
Alice tried to act casual when Rebecca opened the door. “Have a nice night dear?”
“Yes, it was really nice. We went for a drink afterwards and danced.”
“Do you like him?”
“Yes. But Alice, I can’t. I mean, well I can’t.” Her voice shook, and she cleared her throat.
“I know that he can be a bit, well you know, serious, but he’s a good man.”
“It’s not very fair to him though is it, what with my past, and the way I am. He deserves better than that.” Rebecca helped Alice upstairs, her head buzzing from a few drinks and dancing, but most of all, Arthur.
Arthur arrived as normal Tuesday.
Rebecca busied herself, embarrassed and uncomfortable. The precious moments they had shared were merely that, but she wondered if he thought she had led him on. As she cooked, she fretted.
She knew he was standing behind her before he spoke.
“Rebecca. Can we talk?”
She turned around, chewing her lips and folding her arms as she did.
He stood next to her and began tidying up. “Are you afraid of me?”
“No. I’m ashamed of myself.”
“What for? You’ve done nothing wrong.” His face softened with a hint of pain in his eyes.
She swallowed and took a deep breath. “I’m not good at this stuff. I’ve never had anyone interested in me because they like me. I like you, I really do, but because of my experiences, I think a certain way. You are my boss. You give me money in exchange for a service. It’s more than that, though, it’s me. You are too good for me, and I’m not the girl for a man like you.” She burnt with the urge to cry.
“Why wouldn’t you be the woman for me?”
“Who I am, where I come from. My family. I’ve never had a relationship, I’m nothing.”
Getting a Life (New City Series Book 4) Page 7
