Moon of Shadows

by H. D. Gordon

  “I can’t lose you, too,” she said, “but I know you have to go… I’m so sorry, Dita. I’m sorry I’ve made it so hard to raise me, to love me. I should have listened to you, should have thanked you for taking care of me, and now, I’m terrified I’ll never get the chance to make things right between us.” Her tears came so hard now that her words were tough to distinguish. “Just like I’ll never get the chance to say goodbye to Marco.”

  I stroked her hair, held her close, wiped her tears. “Maybe you’ve made raising you a challenge,” I said, “but it’s never been hard to love you, Delia. You’re my little sister, and for me, loving you has been as easy as breathing. You don’t have to make things right when they were never wrong. Not with me. Not ever.”

  More tears streamed down her cheeks. I used my sleeve to dry them away. Then, Kyra came outside to join us, and Delia sniffed, kissing me on the forehead to retreat back inside.

  Kyra took her spot on the steps beside me.

  “I suppose there’s no point in trying to change your mind,” she said.

  I didn’t answer. I didn’t need to. I chewed at a long piece of grass I’d stuck in the corner of my mouth and stared out at the dying day.

  “I love you like a sister, Dita,” Kyra said. “You know that, right?”

  Nodding, I met her gaze for the first time. There was grief and guilt there, but both were overshadowed by the obvious concern for me.

  “And I you,” I replied.

  “Will you do me a favor, then?”

  I raised my brows.

  “Kill the son of a bitch quickly, and let’s be done with this.”

  I didn’t tell her, but the show of confidence in me, even if it was feigned, meant more than I even knew.

  I nodded again, promising that I would, even if we both knew it was a promise I might not be able to keep.

  Devon had joined us then, and Kyra slipped back inside the house to let us have our say.

  When he sat down beside me, he didn’t speak for several long moments. In the yard ahead, the night bugs were beginning to chirp, and the moon had just made its appearance in the sky.

  At last, Devon said, “Do you think you can win?”

  I considered. Then shrugged. It was the most encouragement I had to offer.

  Another moment of silence passed before he asked, “Do you blame me?”

  I chewed at the grass and looked over at him. “I could ask you the same.”

  “But you haven’t.”

  “Because it doesn’t matter. Not right now. Not anymore.”

  “I only wanted to keep us safe,” he said.

  “Yes, I know.”

  “But I failed, and now…”

  He didn’t finish. He didn’t have to.

  Now, the path had been chosen.

  Now, I would clean up the mess that had been made.

  Now, Demarco was dead.

  And win or lose against Cartier, things for us would never be the same again.

  Chapter 28

  Eli came to visit me two hours before midnight, two hours before my fight with Cartier.

  He’d heard about my challenge to Cartier, and had come to hear for himself if it were true.

  “Dita,” the Demon said in his lilting accent, “Cartier is an Alpha male.”

  I was still on the porch, still sitting in the same spot, even though the others had finally left me be hours ago. “Yes,” I said. “I’m quite aware.”

  Eli squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. “Then you must know that this challenge is suicide.”

  I spat out the piece of long grass I’d been gnawing on and loosed a sigh. “Thank you for the vote of confidence.”

  “I’m sorry about your brother,” he said.

  I nodded, but didn’t respond because I wasn’t sure I could trust my voice. I didn’t want to talk about it. Not now. Maybe not ever.

  The only thing I wanted to concentrate on was killing Cartier, and then after that, killing that bastard Arsen Bain as well. If I defeated Cartier, killing Bain would be the very next order of business.

  It was enough to make a grin spread over my face, which I didn’t realize I was doing until Elian gave me a look that said he was concerned for my sanity.

  “You don’t have to do this,” the Demon said, hiking up his expensive slacks so that he could squat in front of me, putting us eye level. He placed his hand over mine.

  “Now that I’ve spoken, I do,” I said. “That’s how it works with the Wolves. You wouldn’t understand.”

  “I understand better than you think,” Eli said, “and there is still a way out. I’ll help you. I have a place you and your family can go until you get somewhere more permanent. And I can also help you sell your various properties in Cerys at a profit. You can all leave, go far away from here, with the money you worked so hard to earn.”

  I pulled my hand away from his, and chose not to acknowledge the flash of hurt that passed behind his eyes.

  “I won’t run,” I said.

  I’d already done that once, and look what good that had done me. On top of that, Cartier and Bain needed to pay for what they’d done, and I very much wanted to be the one to collect.

  No, I needed to be the one to collect. I was half out of my mind, but I was also quite sure that the prospect of killing them both was the only reason I was functioning.

  “There’s no shame in it,” Elian said, his voice low and gentle. “You could start over. A fresh start for you and your family.”

  “This was our fresh start.”

  “But it’s spoiled now,” he guessed.

  I nodded. “And no amount of travel or distance can reverse that.”

  I saw it in his handsome face as he accepted the finality of my decision, as he rose to his feet and slipped his hands into his pockets. After a moment, he sighed and took a seat on the steps beside me, as had the others. He stared out at the night, up at the silent stars above us.

  “It’s a shame,” he mumbled, more to himself than to me, “because I’m pretty sure I could’ve loved you… That maybe we could have loved each other.”

  I was too numb to consider such a proclamation, too cold to feel the warmth that radiated off him, and my heart was much too broken to even tell him that I thought I could have loved him, too. That things could have been… different.

  So, instead, I stood from my position on the steps, and Elian stood along with me.

  “Then you’re not half as clever as you are handsome,” I said, even though I didn’t really mean it.

  “Why is that?” he asked.

  “Because my heart is cold, Mr. Elian, and anyone with half a brain knows it.”

  He left, and I didn’t call after him.

  I had a fight to prepare for.

  “Are you afraid?” Delia asked me, standing close by my side as I sniffed a rose in the garden behind the house. It was a favorite place of mine, and it had occurred to me that this may be the last time I saw it.

  “I don’t think so,” I replied. And I wasn’t. Not of facing Cartier, anyway.

  It was the after that scared me; the prospect of picking up life after the matter was what I was afraid of.

  But now was not the time for such pondering.

  Silent tears streaked down Delia’s cheeks, and a small smile pulled up my lips when I saw her jaw clench, saw the strength that I’d tried for years to foster in her.

  The time was drawing nearer with every passing moment, the night clear and quiet, the new moon looking down from above.

  When I turned from the rose bush I was examining, I saw that everyone had exited the house and joined me out here. Devon and the twins. Kyra, Cora, Zara, Nyla, and Cecelia. My whole family.

  Minus one.

  I didn’t offer any words; I didn’t have any to give.

  Instead, I stood among the roses, near the burbling fountain that was the centerpiece of the space, beneath the unfeeling stars, and among the people I loved more than anything.

  Devon appr
oached, and I raised my chin, wishing things had not been so tense between us as of late. When he dropped to his knees to kneel before me, my brows furrowed in confusion.

  Devon lowered his head, and still I did not understand. He said, “I pledge my allegiance to you as Alpha. I offer my loyalty, my blood, and my life, before the eyes of Gods and with my Pack as witness. Please accept my oath.”

  My jaw hung open, the air catching in my lungs as I slowly processed what he was doing. What it meant.

  Delia stepped forward and took a knee as well. “I pledge my allegiance to you as Alpha. I offer my loyalty, my blood, and my life, before the eyes of Gods and with my Pack as witness Please accept my oath.”

  The twins followed, repeating the words. And then Zara and Nyla. When Cora and Cecelia kneeled and spoke as well, I felt something warm bloom in my chest, though it only lasted for a flash of a moment before the cold reclaimed its stake.

  Kyra came forward, and in her hands was a goblet. Violet magic swirled around her fingertips, outlining her body, weaving into the thick, dark curls of her hair.

  When she reached me, she spoke the same words as the others, and held her free hand out to me. “Please accept our oaths,” she said

  I held my hand out to her, palm up, my mind in a sort of haze. Kyra removed a dagger from her pocket and poised the blade above my waiting palm. I closed my fist before she could make the cut.

  “You all understand what this means if we do this?” I asked, mostly to my four siblings. They were the ones who had sworn the oath to our father; the ones who would pay the biggest price. If we went through with this ceremony, even from a million miles away, our father would know. He would feel the break in the Alpha bond.

  In all honesty, I wasn’t sure I wanted them to do this. Wasn’t sure I should even let them.

  Little Ada was the one who answered, surprising us all. “Dita, you are our sister, but you’re also our mother because you’re the person who has always taken care of us.”

  Analise nodded along with her twin’s words, and the two clutched hands, looking up at me with big brown eyes.

  “We love you,” Delia added, “and we won’t let you go into this fight without every advantage we can offer. Ada is right; you have been a mother to us, and I regret those words I said to you that day, more than you might ever know. Only a mother would do the things you’ve done for us, love us unconditionally and hold us together in the ways you have.”

  “You’ve been the Alpha of this family for a very long time,” Devon added quietly. When he looked up at me, I could see that he meant the words. “I really don’t even know why we waited until now.”

  But we did know. It was because of our father. Because while we’d left him half a world behind, stealing away in the middle of the night to prevent him stopping us, we’d left this particular thread intact with the unspoken understanding that if we severed it, we severed all ties with our father for good.

  And as much as we had hated the male at times, we had loved him, too. And in his own strange way, I believed he had loved us the best that he knew how.

  “Let us help,” Kyra whispered, the magic still swirling and shifting around her person.

  Slowly, I unfurled my hand, baring my palm to the edge of her blade.

  The Sorceress smiled grimly as she drew blood from me, and then tipped my hand to the side to catch the liquid in the goblet. Once a sufficient amount was gathered, she mumbled an enchantment. Then, she passed the chalice to Devon.

  Devon took a sip, and a jolt of energy went through me, starting at the soles of my feet and working all the way up to the top of my head. In my mind’s eye, I felt a thread of magic weave around me and my older brother, connecting us as if on a higher plain.

  He passed the cup to Delia. She took a sip, and again I was struck by a jolt while another thread wove between her and me, making me sway a bit on my feet with the potency.

  By the time they had all drank from the chalice, Kyra had to grip my arm to steady me. The power, the connectivity was a lot to take in, to get used to. While we’d always been connected as family, this was a different feeling altogether. It was as though I could feel their life force, could reach out and touch it, draw it to me and push it away again as I commanded.

  As we were nowhere near as large a Pack as Cartier’s, I would still be at a disadvantage, but the intention behind it soothed something fractured in my soul.

  Once the deed was done, the time to go had come, and I held my head up as I shifted into my Wolf form and howled up at the new moon.

  The other Wolves in my Pack shifted and followed suit, our collective voices sending up a battle cry that was lost to the heavens.

  Chapter 29

  Every member of both Packs had to be present for the fight. Every Wolf needed to see the strongest Alpha survive, and the weakest meet their demise, even the pups among us.

  It was brutal, but it had been this way since the beginning of our kind, since we first evolved to be able to shift into Wolf forms, as far back as our histories recorded.

  We went on foot and paw to Cartier’s estate, and found that the massive front gates had been left open for us. Beyond the gates was a long gravel drive, and it was up this path that my Pack of ten travelled in a tight group.

  At the end of the drive was the enormous house with the balcony on which Cartier and Bain had stood to gloat over me just before I’d made my challenge in a way too public to be ignored. While I didn’t think that Cartier was worried about beating me, I knew males like him well enough to know that he would have much preferred my disposal to be quick and quiet.

  I shifted back into my mortal form and held my head high as we strolled up the drive. The place was utterly silent, despite the fact that a couple hundred Wolves of all shapes and sizes lined either side of the gravel path. Their eyes followed our every step toward the great house and their Alpha, who was no doubt also watching our arrival from his position of power.

  Ana and Ada moved in a little closer, each wrapping their fingers around my forearm, taking comfort in my presence beside them. The Wolves of the other Pack leered and growled lowly, while others stood unmoving, their eyes glowing Wolf-gold in anticipation of the bloodshed to come.

  I made sure to keep my head up, my shoulders square, but I could feel the apprehension of my family as we moved deeper into Cartier’s land, as the gates of the estate swung closed silently behind us.

  The walk seemed much longer because of the glaring attention, until at last we came to the front of Cartier’s house. Just as I had guessed, the Alpha stood atop that balcony again, the bastard Arsen Bain grinning Wolfishly just behind him.

  “You decided to come,” Cartier said when my small group came to a halt at the foot of his castle.

  “Sounds like you were hoping I would not,” I replied, my tone more flat and cold than I could ever remember hearing it.

  There were a few grumblings from the gathered Wolves, and I heard the b-word issued from more than a few mouths. Cartier smirked as if the whole thing amused him, but I knew that I’d insulted him in front of his Pack enough times to make his blood boil.

  There was a shove on my mental shields, not a gentle caress, and I lowered them just enough to let the Alpha’s message slip past.

  “Are you sure your family can sustain another loss so shortly after that of young Demarco?” Carson Cartier asked.

  I held his stare, the sound of my dead brother’s name in his voice making the beast in me quiver with rage. But on the outside, I was as cool as the shade. My head tilted a fraction and a smile pulled up one side of my mouth that I was quite sure made me look mad.

  But I was not smiling for show; I was smiling because the blood of Carson Cartier would soon coat my tongue. That was a guarantee. Something flashed behind his smug expression that revealed he also knew this.

  In a single leap, Cartier launched off the second story balcony and landed lithely on his feet before me. He stood from the crouch to tower over me, his
eyes flaring Wolf-gold for the first time, while mine had not stopped since our arrival.

  He shifted. It was a jarring thing to witness, even for a Wolf. The near instantaneous shift of an Alpha male, the rearranging of bones and flesh and muscle, the snap, crack, and pop of the process. His fine clothing tore away as his body morphed, reshaped, and expanded, as his snout elongated and fangs replaced the flat teeth of his mortal form. Thick brown fur sprouted to cover his massive body, until what stood before me was an enormous, snarling Wolf.

  The wisps of hair that had escaped my braid stirred as he released a hot breath, the sound of his growl rippling over the already anxious crowd.

  A crack of thunder exploded across the sky, the clouds shifting and dancing in a way that predicted a strong spring storm. Upon the balcony, Arsen Bain stood watching, his icy blue gaze a physical presence on my skin.

  My family backed away, melting into the crowd of Cartier’s Wolves so that they could watch the battle take place.

  In unison, all of the gathered Wolves tipped their heads back and howled up at the moon. The chorus of so many was chilling, but I was beyond feeling the cold, because I had decided I’d live in it.

  When the howls ended, I shifted into my Wolf form as well, my body making the change faster than I knew most Wolves were capable.

  Ears flat on my head and teeth bared in a low snarl, I faced the other Alpha for our fight to the death.

  The power coursing through me was intoxicating, more potent than any I’d ever known.

  It rippled from the tip of my nose down to my paws and the end of my tail. The connection with my family was palpable, a constant presence of their emotions and energy. My body felt strong, agile, and there was a fire burning in me that I was sure only the blood of the Wolf before me could quench.

  The crowd gathered in around us, making a circle of hot bodies as efficient as a wall. There would be no escape from this now, not for either of us.

  I darted in fast and snapped at Carson’s front flank, taking a small chunk of fur with me and making the larger Wolf snarl with anger as another magnificent clap of thunder tore across the night sky, the lightning throwing everything into sharp relief.