It didn’t take long for me to be swept up in dreamlike thoughts of Sam. Thoughts of what might have happened if Mum hadn’t interrupted, of what I wanted to happen. My mind pondered all the possibilities until a deep sleep dragged me under and I started to dream.
I found myself on the window seat in my new room, looking out at the dark alley below. Murky shadows moved through the alleyway like black clouds, some fast, while others were slow. In the thickest shadows, grisly faces started to form. They howled and snarled up at me, only this time I wasn’t scared. Darkness, night, this was my home, living in a life of shadows. I felt comfortable here. I belonged here.
“You took it off,” said a deep voice from behind me.
The voice echoed in my head as I turned around. Max sat on my bed, he was wearing only white boxer shorts and a black t-shirt and his hair was tussled as if he’d been raised from sleep. In his hands he was holding the necklace. His gift to me. I’d taken it off, but I couldn’t seem to remember why. His eyes searched my face, looking for an answer. He looked hurt and confused, and it was my fault.
“I’m sorry,” I said, as I left the window seat and went to him. I stopped in front of him and stretched a hand out towards his open palms and the necklace inside them. As I reached my hand longingly over to him I realized that I was still wearing Mum’s old, paint-stained t-shirt and nothing else. But, for some reason, it didn’t seem to matter.
Max looked up into my eyes and a smile passed his lips. He tossed the necklace back under my pillow and took my hand. In one quick movement he pulled me into the bed beside him and rolled me over until my back was against the wall. I was quiet as he did so, never once complaining or hesitating in his arms. His predatory touch never seemed wrong to me. Max held me close, his arms were wrapped around me and our feet were intertwined. I raised one leg and draped it over his hip, feeling my heartbeat quicken as our bodies flattened further against each other. I wanted him close to me, his arms around me, and his body on mine. I needed him.
His warm amber eyes were still focused on mine as his right hand moved hesitantly from its safe place on my back. It travelled down along the curves of my body until it reached my thigh, and there it lingered. “Do you promise to wear it,” Max asked me in a whisper, his lips almost touching mine.
Without hesitation, I moved my face closer and rubbed the side of my face lovingly against his. Content with the extent of my loving caress, I moved back until our noses were touching and my eyes were looking deep into his. “I promise,” I said.
As soon as my answer had left my lips, Max had me pinned hard between the line of his body and the wall. His lips aggressively met mine and I felt like I was on fire. I could taste blood as he kissed me, but it didn’t stop me and instead, I wanted more, craving for more of him. I pulled him closer as I felt his hand slide up along the bare skin under my shirt. My skin tingled and burnt with his touch, yet I needed his hands on me, all over me. I was burning up, growing hotter by the moment, and there wasn’t enough air. I was suffocating. I pulled back from him and opened my eyes. A creature with glowing amber eyes and bloody fangs stared back at me. But, it was still Max.
A loud, shrieking howl pierced the thrumming silence of the dream and pulled me back to consciousness. I threw the covers down and sat up. I was alone and now more confused than ever. Standing up, I walked uneasily over to the window. I wasn’t sure what was driving me exactly. Curiosity possibly, or the chance to breathe fresh air, either way I opened the window. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. Things seemed wrong in my head. I couldn’t seem to feel properly when I thought of Sam. My memories of him were distant. He seemed like a stranger.
But, Max, on the other hand, was perfectly clear. I remembered what had happened on the train, but in a strangely different light. I had been drawn to him, I wanted him. I especially remembered him in my dream, in my bed. I glanced back the empty bed and my fingers unconsciously went to a spot below my collarbone. Looking down, I saw that I was holding the edge of the pendant. It was now securely back around my neck. I didn’t want to take it off, even though a part of me remembered why I should. I just couldn’t seem to make myself care or believe enough in what Sam had told me. So what if it was a sign of ownership? The necklace was a gift from Max and it belonged around my neck. I’d promised to wear it.
Another howl screamed up at me from the alley beneath me and I didn’t flinch. I looked down to see a giant, wolf-like creature staring up at me with bright yellow eyes. It bared its fangs in a silent snarl and appeared to glare as it watched me. I smiled back down at it. The poor thing’s fearsome face only amused me.
I leaned further out the window and whispered to it in a bubbly voice. “Who’s a good puppy, then?”
The creature’s face calmed and it tilted its head to the side in an almost confused look. Then it was panting, with its tail wagging quickly behind it like a happy dog. Strangely enough, this didn’t seem unusual to me. I knew inside me that it was only the good in me that it didn’t like. And that was all behind me now, I knew where I belonged. I belonged to Max.
Five: Tempting Evil
I woke up thinking of Max, but couldn’t seem to remember why. I couldn’t even remember much of last night. I could only think of Max. I remembered my promise to him that I would find him once I was in Saint Jean. Today I was going to keep that promise.
I dragged myself out of bed, feeling oddly like I hadn’t slept at all, and managed to collapse among the many bags and boxes on the floor. As I rummaged through one box, then another and then a bag, I noticed the cool breeze blowing across my face. I looked up to see that the window was open. I seemed to have a memory of closing it. I shrugged off the unclear memory and kept searching for a new change of clothes and my bathroom bag.
It was almost half twelve in the afternoon when I finally made my way downstairs after having a shower and getting changed. I found my mum in her new work room, which must have been a small lounge room in its past life. Now it was filled with half open boxes and paint spattered white sheets.
Mum stood in front of her easel delicately painting a portion of the canvas. “Morning,” she said, as she heard me enter. She stopped what she was doing and looked over her shoulder at me with a grin. “Or should I say afternoon, dear daughter, you must have had quite a sleep.” Mum dipped her paint brush into a dirty jar of turpentine and then wiped it clean on a paint covered rag. After placing the brush in an empty jar with its workmates, she walked over to me. “You look very beautiful today,” she said, with a meaningful smile. “Dressing up for anyone special?”
I pushed my long, dark hair over my shoulder and looked down at the tight, fitted, black mini-dress as though I hadn’t actually noticed that I’d put it on. It seemed like an acceptable thing to meet Max in.
Looking back up at Mum, I smiled. “Are you still heading up to the Tiennan’s home to sign the rest of the paperwork,” I asked her.
Turning serious, Mum gave me a quizzical stare and crossed her arms over her chest. “I didn’t realize you knew Saint Jean’s patron family,” she said, almost cautiously. “You didn’t seem that interested in meeting them yesterday.”
A fond memory of my first meeting with Max on the train popped into my head and I felt a blissfully excited smile spread across my lips. When my eyes met Mum’s again, she gave me a curious, but chastising frown. I forced my eyes away from her, desperate to keep my thoughts hidden, and wouldn’t let her catch them back. Nervously, I rubbed my dress flat with my palms, even though it was already tight and smooth against my skin.
After a moment, I half looked up at her again, but saw her stern, pursed lips and turned my gaze to her painting instead. “Changed my mind, that’s all,” I said. Ignoring her questioning, raised-eyebrow look, I walked over to her, in front of the painting to have a closer look. “So, what are you working on,” I asked, casually trying to change the subject.
I could see Mum still staring at me from the corner of my eye. It was obvious s
he didn’t want to let the previous topic go. After a deep sigh, I saw her shoulders slump and her stare begin to waver. “I’ve decided to go a little surreal,” she said finally, now looking at her work rather than me.
I looked at the canvas with its blue-grey clouds burning in the sky and the golden sun and moon sinking into the ocean, and nodded. “Yeah, I can see that,” I answered. “Any particular focus or are you just going freestyle?”
“Me? Freestyle,” she said, pointing at herself and feigning shock. “And to think that I call you my daughter.” She laughed at her own joke and put an arm around me. “It’s Lights End,” she said, proudly.
Conflicting thoughts collided in my head. I couldn’t help but respond to the symbolism of the painting. Part of me thought it was a wondrous idea, destroying all good and light, while the other side of me felt utterly disgusted. I had to remind myself it was only a painting, a creation of my mum’s wild imagination. Wasn’t it? Or was she, beneath her cheery, sometimes moody exterior, just as conflicted as me?
I turned my head to look at her. She was smiling a little more wickedly than usual, but no more insanely than when she’d felt overly passionate about a project before. I decided to ignore my inner turmoil and put all my worries out of my head. Surely I was just projecting my problems onto her. There just seemed to be too much going on in my mind lately, as though there were more of my problems or more of me to deal with. With that thought, my head began to ache and I squeezed my eyes shut against the pain. I was beginning to feel like I should have stayed in bed for the day. Or possibly the next couple of days.
Max, my mind reminded me and my eyes snapped open. I had to find Max.
I hated to bring the topic up again, when I had just done so well in changing the subject of conversation, but knew it was necessary. There was no way, short of someone giving me a map, that I could find the Tiennan’s home by myself. “Mum dear,” I said sweetly. “What time might you be heading over to the patron’s home today?”
She glared at me again, looking into my eyes as though she might find some clear explanation for my sudden interest there. When I said nothing more, but only smiled coyly, she dropped her arm from my shoulder and started undoing her painting apron. “Give me ten minutes,” she said with her back to me. “And then we’ll go.”
Elated by her answer and at the chance to see Max again so soon, I grabbed her gently round the shoulders from behind in an awkward hug and kissed her cheek. “Do you want help cleaning up,” I asked with a grin.
Eight minutes later, we grabbed our jackets and we were out the door, heading up the cobblestone alleyway. Mum still had paint on her fingertips and just under her chin, but I’d managed to con her into putting on a change of clothes. Unfortunately, jeans, a floral singlet and a red cardigan were all I could find in the limited amount of time, but Mum still looked lovely. Her thin body looked great in all her clothes, even in mine, and her long, auburn hair was tossed into a cute, curly ponytail.
“Slow down, Kitten,” Mum said.
I passed another colorful doorway, surrounded by stunning potted plants and flowers with vibrantly painted plant pots. After another step I stopped and waited for Mum to catch up.
“I wish you’d tell me why you’re in such a hurry to meet them,” she said. “I don’t understand what’s changed since yesterday.”
I thought of Max. In his room on the train, and—in my room. Instinctively my hand went to the pendant hanging around my neck. By the time I’d noticed, Mum’s eyes had already focused on the necklace. I wasn’t exactly sure why, but I knew it was bad that she’d seen it.
“Where did you get that,” she asked me, looking both mad and worried. She reached out a hand to touch the pendant, but I dropped it against my skin and moved away from her.
“It was a gift,” I answered, as I dodged her again.
“From whom, Kitty,” Mum said, her voice going deeper.
“It doesn’t matter,” I said. I started walking up the alleyway away from her, not waiting for her to catch up.
“Kitty,” she called out to me.
I could hear her running on the stone pathway coming up behind me.
She grabbed my arm tightly and spun me to face her. “You will tell me where you got that pendant, Kitty,” she said firmly.
I had expected her to look fierce and angry, but instead she looked up at me with scared, tear-filled eyes. I couldn’t seem to comprehend her worry or her fear. I didn’t understand what was so wrong about a necklace. “Max Tiennan gave it to me,” I said quietly. “For my birthday.”
Her silver blue eyes widened and she grabbed for the necklace again. I stepped back and pulled my arm from her grasp.
“Take it off,” she yelled, lunging at me again.
“No,” I yelled back. I darted away from her outstretched arms and moved further up the alleyway.
This time Mum didn’t rush after me, but with tears starting to fall down her rosy cheeks, she reached a hand out to me. “Please, Kitten,” she said. “Take it off. It’s putting you in danger.”
Her comment annoyed me and I felt a protective anger begin to build inside. The necklace was a gift from Max, and Max would never put me in danger. Didn’t she understand that? I tucked the pendant safely between my breasts and took a small step towards her.
“No, Mother,” I replied coldly. “You’re the one who put me in danger. You brought me here, without a word about who I really am. You left me to the mercy of the wolves. Max would never do that.”
Before I had a chance to realize what I’d said and to feel apologetic for it, I was off and running up the alleyway as far away from my mum as I could get. When I finally stopped, when there were no more footsteps or echoing voices following me, I was shocked at what I had said. It had felt good to confront Mum, but I would never say something like that to her face. A cool breeze chilled me and I wrapped my black, cotton cardigan tighter around my chest. I was beginning to feel strange. I felt constantly conflicted by my thoughts, as though they were no longer just my own, and I seemed to be losing a little control over my actions.
I lifted my left hand up to my head and closed my eyes, gently rubbing my temple to try to calm myself. But it only made things worse. My head started spinning and my body began to slowly sway. I quickly opened my eyes and searched for a place to sit down. The hard stone ground below me just didn’t seem like a preferable place to collapse.
Luckily, a little way down the alley in front of me was an ancient looking structure, overgrown with moss and jasmine vines. As I neared, I noticed that its medieval frame appeared to house a number of water filled troughs along its main three walls and that there was a tall, sturdy, marble fountain in the centre of the room. It appeared the perfect picture of an old-fashioned washhouse and seemed, to me, like the ideal little haven that I needed to rest and sort out my thoughts. As I stepped inside, I was suddenly swamped by the gloominess within, which was made darker due to the cloudy skies of the day. Feeling a little edgy in the room full of shadows, I tried desperately to calm myself and to steady my breathing, but my fear and dizziness wouldn’t let me. Urgently, I searched for the closest chance of a seat, then walked over to the fountain and sat down on its edge.
The slight vertigo I’d felt moments earlier seemed to slow to a stop and I closed my eyes again in relief. I couldn’t seem to figure out what was wrong with me. I was so confused and still shocked at myself for the way I’d treated my mum. There was also something else. Something missing in my mind. Something I wanted to remember. I just couldn’t remember what. I opened my eyes again and stared down at the clear, chilly-looking water in the fountain. I felt so sure that there was something else. Something or someone else that I’d forgotten. I just wished I could remember who.
Distracted for a moment by the trickling sound of water running from the fountain into its base, I had a flash of rain, golden hair and violet eyes. I shook my head at the hazy memory. It didn’t seem real and something in my head urged me to forge
t about it. Without thinking and tempted by the softness of the ripples in the water, I dipped my fingertips into the fountain.
“I heard you tamed the beast,” a voice whispered in front of me.
I jumped at the sound and then looked up into the shadows of the far corner.
Max emerged from the darkness and gave me a seductive smile. “Hello, Kitty,” he said.
I took a deep breath as I looked at him and tried to control the overwhelming urge I had to go to him. With a smile still gracing his lips, he tilted his head to the side and narrowed his eyes at me as though he sensed my struggle.
“Hello,” I breathed in response.
Max straightened and crept slowly around the fountain towards me. My eyes wandered down his body as he walked. His casual black jeans, black boots and tight, black shirt still seemed to make him look elegant. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. I turned my head as far as I could to look at him over my shoulder as he came around the fountain behind me.
“Looks like I found you first,” he said as he sat down on the edge of the fountain.
I gazed at him from behind the safety of my shoulder and watched out of the corner of my eye as he ran his fingers gently down my spine. I shivered and looked away. When I looked back up at him he was staring intensely at me. “I wanted to find you,” I managed to answer.
Max placed his hand on my arm and moved closer. “I know,” he said, as he caressed my arm.
“I needed to see you,” I whispered.
He stared at me with large, amber eyes and his face turned sincere. “I know,” he said.
Innocently Evil (A Kitty Bloom Novel) Page 5
