Nick Klaus's Fables

by Frederic Colier

eyes and reflected at the news.

  “Could you come back next summer?” it said, with a shaking voice.

  Two Fleas on a Rainy Day (#6)

  A pelting rain was falling, and two fleas, a mother and daughter, were waiting outside a hairdresser shop.

  “I don’t want to mess my hair. Shall we hitch a ride back?” said the mother.

  “Your rides itch me the wrong way?” said her daughter, without a smile. The mother grinned. First came a black greyhound. “Cool, we’ll be home in no time,” said the daughter.

  “Never ride a dog with short hair in a rain like this. If it shakes itself dry, we’re sure to fly off and end up walking ourselves to death,” said the mother.

  The daughter rolled her eyes. They waited and within a minute came this matted long-haired mutt lurching on a beaten leash at the end of which was attached a hunched limping woman. The mutt’s muzzle was vacuuming everything in sight. The daughter pulled a face. The mother’s eyes brightened.

  “Look at this coat. Thick and tangled. Must be a jungle in there.”

  “You sure? It’s slow like a snail,” the daughter said. Before she could blink, the mother had hopped on the little scruff ball. They landed both on the left hind leg.

  A family of fleas was sitting for dinner. They looked at their uninvited guests with unwelcome glances. Tongue-tied, mother and daughter retreated to the other hind leg. Groups of parents with their children waited eagerly in their swimsuits with masks and fins by a shaved patch. The mother twisted her lips: “Let’s go. This jungle’s too crowded.” But the daughter’s face brightened.

  Suddenly a rush of excitement came over the group. A huge wave crashed over the shaved patch as the dog trampled into a puddle, splashing everyone nearby. Mother and daughter were soaked, but their hair was spared. To make the matter worse, the Greyhound ran over, sniffed the shaved patch and licked it, swallowing the mother alive.

  “Missed me!” sneered the daughter, jumping onto the Greyhound’s muzzle, who just at this moment shook off all the water from his coat, sending the flea flying into the puddle of muddy water, messing up her hair.

  The Big Plastic Day (#7)

  Once upon a time there was a family of plastic bags, living tightly in a box at a grocery store. Huddled against each other, wrinkle-free, they keep each other company. Junior was different. He stuck out slightly from the pile and already had wrinkles. But the family forgave his messiness. His humor was welcome while the family waited during the cold and damp winter months for the big day.

  The big day arrived the following week. The family members held their breath at the end of the register’s belt. First went the seniors, all stuffed with toilet paper and boxes of tissues. Then the parents, with fresh vegetables and roasted chicken and spices. And then the children, with junk food, candies, and ice cream. Junior was among them but bloated and sweating, trying not to burst. The family frowned at him not to cry.

  Luckily, they all headed towards the same cart. The family rejoiced at staying together, moving to their new house and embracing a new life. Junior was last to come on board. But as he was lifted up, one of his creased handles broke. Right away, he was discarded. Junior looked from the floor, his family been carted away. He called and cried, but shamed, they turned their back on the damaged bag.

  That night, the cleaners shoved Junior in the trash. The next day, the wind blew strong and sent Junior reeling up in the air, tumbling down a street, and getting hooked on a pole at a market fair. A beggar found it. He tied the broken handle with a knot and took Junior to the local dumpster to fetch his dinner.

  At the dumpster, the beggar filled Junior with leftover vegetables and chicken. Junior was confident and strong again. The knot was solid. The beggar threw Junior over his shoulder, and Junior noticed his family, kicking and screaming inside a blue bag, at the bottom of the dumpster. Still, he shed a tear, as helpless he was carried away.

  A Pony Tale (#8)

  In a crowded subway car, two ponytails stood across each other. One was long, jet-black and silky, and looked stiff. The other was long blond, curly and looked rather sad. The black tail kept bouncing sideways while the blond one kept observing quietly. After a while, the blond tail caught the black ponytail’s attention. “Would you take my picture,” it asked.

  “Why should I take your picture? I don’t know you,” answered the black tail.

  “If you take my picture, then you’ll know me.”

  “What makes you think I want to get to know you?” answered the black tail.

  Morose, the blond tail reflected for a while. The black tail just rode along, looking off in the distance, unbothered by the blond ponytail’s begging glances.

  “This is a very sad day for me,” it said after a while. “My owner is taking me to the abattoir.”

  Intrigued, the black tail looked askance. “What do you mean?”

  “I heard it last night. In an hour or so they’re going to cut off most of me . . .” Too distraught, the blond tail couldn’t finished its sentence.

  “You mean like you’re going to end up all chopped up on the floor.”

  The blond tail looked down without swaying.

  “Don’t worry, you’ll grow back long and strong,” said the black tail sighing.

  “It took a lifetime it took to get this long.”

  “Still I envy you,” added the black ponytail. The blond ponytail looked up full of curiosity for the first time. The black ponytail continued: “I may look all pretty and silky, but I will never grow again. You see I’m just completely fake. I don’t get greasy, don’t need a trim. I’m a wig that should live in a museum.”

  Feeling terrible for the black wig, the blond ponytail took a deep breath. It grabbed its camera and took a picture of the black ponytail.

  The Front Tooth’s Journey (#9)

  The baby front tooth was unhappy when it learned that someday it would have to go on a long journey. It was so mad that it refused to talk to its baby sister and brother teeth for two days. On the third day, while everyone was still half-asleep, with nervous giggles to reassure itself, it stated: “I like milk and candies best! No way I’m ever going to let anyone deprive me of them.” Proud and firmly still it stood in the gum, while the other baby teeth yawned. Upset that no one listened, the baby front tooth repeated itself, hoping for some understanding. But breakfast came, and all of the teeth went to work. The front baby tooth shone, chewed twice as hard, with pride, to forget the rumor that it had heard. Something unpleasant, however, was brewing.

  Towards lunchtime, it woke up with a sore. At first it pretended nothing was wrong. It was too afraid to fidget and looked around as if all was well. The other teeth were chatting away, quibbling over what was coming their way for lunch. Then the front tooth felt something shifting down its waist. The gum was loose. Like a carrot ill-planted, the tooth was swinging.

  “Apparently, the big teeth are coming soon,” it heard a baby upper molar state. “How do you know that?” asked a baby lower molar.

  “I can feel you crushing and pushing me,” said the upper molar.

  Terrified, the baby front tooth pretended to be tired. It yawned and mumbled something at the remark.

  By dinner the wiggling could no longer be ignored. The baby front tooth was losing its tether. A neighbor, known for its pranks, noticed the front tooth swaying. The baby front tooth shrunk back in fear.

  “Ah, say you what to this joggle? Lucky you to have such a wobble.”

  “Is it true I’m heading for a long journey?” whispered the baby front tooth.

  “You can’t jiggle without wriggling even less wriggle without jiggling. Off you go to the land of fairies.”

  “Of fairies?” repeated the front tooth, eyes wide open. “But I’m a baby front tooth. What would I do there?”

  “You’ll spend the night in a bed. Alone. Most likely inside a box. Under a pillow. And then a fairy w
ill come and scoop you out.”

  “But I’m not an ice-cream!” said the baby front tooth feeling the scraping and digging pain. “I want to stay here, drink my milk and munch my candies.”

  “Then run before it’s too late,” suggested the prankster.

  Without waiting another second, the baby front tooth climbed out of its gum’s socket, saying: “I’m not afraid of fairies, but that does not mean I want to meet them.”

  Too late, the front tooth fell into the mouth.

  All the other baby teeth burst into laughter and clapped away. Far from being afraid, the baby front tooth giggled, while bouncing and bobbing and rolling on the tongue. It got pushed to the edge of the throat. The baby tooth clung with all its might not to fall into the stomach. Then came a cough. And without even saying its goodbye, while seeing the light of day for the first time, off it went on its fairy’s journey.

  When We Grow Up (#10)

  Sheltered from the strong currents by a heavy ocean rock, a group of baby lobsters were gathered in a circle around Ms. Lobster teacher. Except for Feisty who stood half way hiding below the rock, unwilling to participate. Ms. Lobster teacher noticed Feisty and cracked a smile.

  “Today, we’re going to talk about what we would like to do when we grow up. Who would like to start?”

  “I’d like to be a shipwreck cleaner,” said the first baby lobster in the front row, fishing for praise with swift glances towards the other baby lobsters.

  “A