Austentatious
Page 27
I tried for a moment to imagine a longer stay in Scotland and pictured myself schlepping about in wellies and hand-knit sweaters, making up peat fires and spending casual evenings at the pub. Hmmm. It all sounded very cozy, but I didn’t know how I’d feel after a few weeks of rainy, chilly days with no quick runs to Target and the closest Mexican restaurant hundreds of miles (or more!) away. But Scotland had marvelous, melt-in-your-mouth butter toffees. And well, Sean, of course. There’d be Sean, with his sweet-n-sexy grin, his smooth, velvet voice, all wrapped up in a kilt ...
Spurred into action, I dashed into the kitchen, grabbed hold of the quote-a-day calendar with both hands, and scanned the top page. “ ‘What is right to be done cannot be done too soon.’ Emma.” I grinned, grabbed for the phone, and dialed Gabe’s number. He answered on the fourth ring, and unable to contain myself, I blurted, “I’m thinking of giving chase.”
“Huh?”
Closing my eyes, priming myself to start over, I explained. “Sean’s in Scotland, I’m here. Ergo, I’m thinking of giving chase.”
“Who is this?” The jocularity was coming through loud and clear.
“Get it out of your system, Gabe—this is a serious call.”
“Okay, fine. But who knew you’d give up the ‘thrill of the 401(k)’ for the ‘thrill of the chase.’ ” Gabe’s laugh was barely contained and so was my temper. I didn’t answer. “Okay, seriously?” he said around a chuckle. “That’s awesome. When are you leaving?”
Wishing we weren’t doing this over the phone, I begged, “Just play pro and con with me. Subject: Compulsive International Travel. I’m pro, you’re con.”
“Really? I have to be con? I think I’m much better suited to pro.”
“But shouldn’t I be the one fighting for him?”
“Point taken,” Gabe conceded. “Me first?”
“No, me. If I go, I have a much better chance of getting Sean back.”
“And an equally good chance of embarrassing yourself to within an inch of your pride.”
“I’ll have made the grand gesture, followed my bliss ...” I envisioned all sorts of pride-numbing endings, and my conviction faltered a bit.
“You’ll be out the cost of the plane ticket, transportation, accommodations—not to mention the cost to your pride.”
“You’ve mentioned that,” I reminded him.
“It’s a biggie. You know, you could just call him.”
“I can’t. We’re way beyond that. I think I have to go for the grand gesture, if only to make the point that I can be flexible and spontaneous in a pinch.”
“But it’s an eight-hour flight—over an ocean—and unplanned time off work. That’s a whopper of a gesture for a man you’ve only known a week.”
True. As gestures went, it was big. I quickly squelched that train of thought, not about to let my sensible side get a foothold here. I countered, “There are perks over and above just seeing Sean. I haven’t had a vacation in almost a year, and Scotland is drenched in history, culture, and glorious scenery. The castles alone would justify the trip.”
“Drenched being the operative word. And I don’t think you’d much care for the castles ‘alone.’ I’m sure they’re better with a friend.”
Damn, he was good. I gritted my teeth and tried again.
“There’s the toffee and the tartans and the cashmere.” It was a desperate, last-ditch effort.
“All of which can be purchased with minimal effort over the Internet. And the shipping costs are nothing compared to the monumental cost of flying over to pick them up.” I could hear the smugness in Gabe’s voice as he added, “Keep ’em comin’, ’cause we haven’t even touched on the flighty irresponsibility of ditching out of your first day on a new job.”
Gabe was irritatingly, excruciatingly good at this, but I’d realized it didn’t matter. The whole time I’d been trying to convince him, I’d convinced myself. I was going. I’d find a way to work out the job thing.
“Your work here is done,” I told him breezily.
“How’d I do?” he asked, the interest clear in his voice.
“I plan on making my travel arrangements as soon as we get off the phone.”
“I’ll score it as a win.”
“That doesn’t surprise me.”
“Yeah, well, bring me back a souvenir—if you end up coming back. I’m a large if you’re shopping for cashmere—same for toffee.”
“If you’re lucky, I’ll bring you a kilt. Beck will love that, trust me.”
As promised, within thirty minutes it was done. I decided it was positively providential that my passport was up to date. I booked a one-way flight into Inverness, a seat on ScotRail over to Kyle of Lochalsh, and accommodations for two nights in a cottage with a view of Loch Alsh. With luck, Sean was somewhere in the vicinity and could be unearthed simply enough, leaving me free to focus my efforts on an all-out seduction.
The flight was costing me just over nine hundred dollars, not to mention many long coach-trapped hours, but none of it was fazing me—at least not yet. I was excited, thrilled even, eager to fast-forward through two days of waiting until Saturday morning and the start of my big adventure. I used a good chunk of the time to back off my grudge and lose myself in the pages of Emma and Pride and Prejudice, marveling at how elegantly everything in the novels worked out. I definitely had a few things to learn.
I called Beck to give her the news. She was thrilled, of course, and insisted I take a vow of “full disclosure.” Evidently spurred on by my gutsiness (her words), she had decided that she and Gabe should go ahead and “give each other a whirl.” I insisted on an identical vow from her.
Besides the requisite packing and a little chat with my new boss about this impromptu but nonnegotiable vacation, I considered it prudent to call a truce with Fairy Jane, step one being a full pardon and retrieval from the laundry bin. I wouldn’t want her to exact revenge at inopportune moments. That would be bad. So basically I needed to suck up.
I took my time, paging slowly through the notorious little journal, reading over the scattered words of the now-poignant messages left behind. I’d changed a lot since finding that first little scrap of fortune cookie wisdom. I’d been stubborn and close-minded, and a bit of a bitch, but Fairy Jane had been just as stubborn, and she’d won the day. I still didn’t understand it—really any of it—but that part of the picture no longer seemed to matter.
On the cusp of my wild and reckless adventure, I’d take any help I could get, magical or otherwise. Where I was going, what I planned to do, I figured I needed a posse. It couldn’t hurt to go back and read the letter that had started it all—the dedication from Jane herself.
“... I dedicate to You the following Miscellanious Morsels, convinced that if you seriously attend to them, You will derive from them very important Instructions, with regard to your Conduct in Life.”
“Miscellanious Morsels”—wasn’t that the truth! Fairy Jane had definitely stepped in and stepped up when I needed her. With only a few select words, she’d helped me realize that I simply needed to let go, to relinquish my white-knuckled grip on life and go after my best chance for a happily-ever-after.
I could do that. I would do that—no regrets, no looking back.
This whole thing could go down any number of ways, from the downright depressing to the cringingly embarrassing. I preferred not to dwell on those possibilities, let alone write about them. For now at least, I was hopped up on optimism, and in a surprise turnaround, looking for affirmation from my journal. Her banishment days were over—she’d been upgraded to trusty sidekick.
I admit it—you’ve converted me—truly this time. Logic is out; magic is in. On a trial basis. I’m incontrovertibly in love with him, and I plan to give chase, across the pond, to the land of fairies, not to mention kilts and toffee. My flight leaves Saturday, and despite the very real possibility of failure, I’m oddly psyched by the hugeness and spontaneity of it all. Maybe I have a touch of the adventurer in me a
fter all. I have a plan—obviously I have a plan—but it’s simple and straightforward and not likely to go as expected seeing as Sean is just the opposite. The plan is to find him and lure him back—back to Austin would be preferable, but—and here’s a shocker—even that isn’t a requirement. I’m hoping for an Austen ending—my very own happily-ever-after—but with a dollop of scorching sex thrown in.
Obviously I don’t want to jinx it, and I certainly don’t assume it’ll be a cakewalk, but I’m not going to let that get me down. I’m going to play it weird, live juicy, and just do it. How’s that for a strategy? And I’m letting you, Dear Journal, tag along, just in case I need some last-minute advice. Or a little bit of magic ...
I decided to leave Fairy Jane’s reply for a bit of in-flight reading.
We were cruising at thirty thousand feet before I let myself peek. And there it was ...
magic is flighty—find it and don’t let go.
A slow smile snaked across my face, expanding, curling, rounding as it went, until eventually I felt like a goon, grinning at nine little words that two weeks ago would have earned a dismissive scoff from me. I liked it—it summed up my new attitude: motivated and open-minded. And it hinted at the fact that I was not the only one who’d changed. As far as I knew, Fairy Jane had never before had to resort to chopping up words to piece new ones together. I was quite sure I hadn’t used the term “flighty” in my entry (although it certainly wouldn’t have been out of place), but I had mentioned my “flight” on “Saturday.” And judging by the spacing between the “t” and the “y,” she’d spliced as needed. I had to admit to being impressed with her Machiavellian techniques. Reminded me of someone else I knew ...
Letting the journal fall closed and my eyes with it, I tipped back in my seat and let my dreams waft me across the Atlantic.
I slumped off the British Airways plane in Inverness a little bleary-eyed, but focused on finding the ScotRail counter. Wobbly as I was, I felt ready for anything—in a tentative, baby-steps kind of way. I’d made it this far, and that had to count for something.
On the train I watched through the window as spring unfurled across the Scottish countryside. It rained—naturally, it rained—but it was a light drizzle, zigzagging over the windows and making the world just beyond glisten and shimmer. I could imagine Fanny Price, riding out in the rain, cursing her hurt pride and the circumstances of birth. And Elizabeth Bennet, happening to run across Mr. Darcy, only to find herself irrevocably smitten. Clearly I was content to lump Scotland in with England, and Austin in with Austen.
We zipped along the racing River Ness, and I couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed that I’d not be getting a peek at the mysterious waters of Loch Ness, not to mention their infamous occupant. Not that I necessarily even believed that he (she?) existed ... But there were plenty of other very real distractions as we sped past a glistening green blur of mountains and forest, straight into the station at Kyle of Lochalsh.
The trip so far had been a study in logistics, but it was about to get personal real quick. I was closing in, and getting more nervous by the minute. I’d need to somehow find my way to Dornie and, once there, find Sean. Sad to say, but that was pretty much the extent of the formal plan. Still, I figured I had a bit of time yet to work out the details. Right now I was still in big-picture mode, content with simply having made it this far.
Or so I thought.
“I’d like to visit Dornie while I’m here,” I blurted at the check-in desk of the quaint little highland inn I’d picked out on the Internet.
“Naturally,” came the innkeeper’s cryptic reply. I had only a moment to wonder over it, because with her next comment, it made perfect sense. “There are tour buses and guided car tours to take you over to the castle. When were ye wanting to go?” Turning to reach for an enormous binder behind the check-in desk, she kept her eyebrows raised as she flipped through the pages, waiting for my answer.
The “Loched In” castle. Beyond my online infatuation with this photogenic stunner, I hadn’t really given it much thought. But now that my nerves were starting to twitch and fidget, memories of the enchanting castle were enticing me to procrastination. I could rest today, tour the castle and its grounds tomorrow, and then leisurely find my way to Dornie, maybe for lunch—or dinner—in the pub.
“What about bright and early tomorrow morning?” I answered, hearing the question in my voice. Satisfied, she glanced down again, I assumed to scan the schedules for workable options. Three-quarters of the way through my massive sigh of relief, my throat closed up, leaving me to grapple with more of a last gasp. A sudden inexplicable urgency surged through me, heedless of my unpreparedness and outright squeamishness.
“Wait!” I demanded, my hands splayed over the counter. “Is it too late to go today?”
We glanced at our watches in synchronized harmony, and I realized I had no idea what time it was. I’d not yet troubled to set my own watch to adjust for the considerable time difference.
“It’s going on four o’ clock now, so with the drive, you’d have but an hour. Not really enough for a proper tour, more of a little jot about. Will that suit ye?”
“Perfectly,” I told her, nodding. But behind my grateful smile was shock, plain and simple. I’d lost control, and it seemed I was spiraling faster and faster into the unknown perilous world of grand gestures and uncertain futures. And there was no end in sight, I realized, as I stuttered out one final request. “I’m actually hoping to locate someone in Dornie—a man, Sean MacInnes. Do you know ... ?”
Her smile was the knowing kind and made me wonder what it was she knew. “Most evenings he’s like to be found at the Dog and Bagpipes, that one.”
My heart suddenly felt worlds too big for my chest. Self-consciously, I pulled my hands from the counter and awkwardly crossed my arms to cover the painful pounding. “Is the pub within walking distance of the castle?” I’d imagined there’d be a bit more sleuthing required, but it looked as if my search could only get any easier if Sean turned out to be driving the tour car to Eilean Donan. God forbid!
Giving me the eye, the innkeeper made a point of leaning her deep bosom over the counter to stare down at my feet.
“Have ye some other shoes, miss?”
“I do.” I tacked a little smile on at the end, but it felt watery. I felt watery.
“Be sure to switch, and you’ll be fine. It’s maybe a twenty-minute walk. Impossible to miss.”
“And getting back?” Clearly I should have stayed in Dornie, but I’d been too chicken, and of course I’d been desperate to avoid any potential awkwardness ... or any more than strictly necessary.
“I’ll ring up one of the innkeepers down the road from the pub and ask them to drive you back ’round.” She waved away the uncertainty plain on my face. “It’s not a bit of trouble. We do the same for them. Not as often, mind, but who’s counting?” She winked merrily. “You’re all checked in here, so ye just have time to go on up to your room, freshen up a bit, change your shoes,” she paused for effect and eyebrow raising, “and get back down to the lobby before the car pulls ’round outside.” Now she smiled, no doubt waiting for me to obey.
A change of shoes (and underwear) and a slick of deodorant and lip gloss took longer than expected, and I missed my chance to tag along on the last castle tour of the day. But not yet ready to venture off to the Dog and Bagpipes, I chose to wander the castle grounds on my own.
The green of the hills and the showy flare of sunset colors was breathtaking, but my eyes were drawn to the mirrored beauty of Eilean Donan caught—trapped—beneath the water. Locked in. And then it clicked, and my brain went numb, thrumming with the frightening truth that in this spot, at this moment, I’d locked myself in. Tonight it really was now or never.
I could already see the moon, a bright crescent, rising in the sky, and a matching one reflected far away beneath the surface of the water. Like two separate worlds, one real and one imagined. Like my own schizophrenic whirlwin
d of real life versus dreams come true. Standing in the misty chill of early evening thousands of miles from home, the luster on my grand gesture was beginning to tarnish amid the harsh climate of fear. But there were hours yet till the clock struck midnight, and in an odd twist, I was off from the castle to find the prince.
Time skittered past, and like magic, I ended up in front of the Dog and Bagpipes, staring in disbelief at the pub signage, decorated, as one might expect, with a dog playing the bagpipes. There was no mistaking the place—how could there be? Music was filtering out through the slightly cracked door, and a warm yellow glow shined at the windows, beckoning me in out of the twilight and chill. Into a world of awkward. I stepped back, wrapping my sweater more tightly around me. I wasn’t ready.
I needed a little boost, a little inspiration ... a sign.
Unzipping my bag, I pulled out the journal and ran my hands over its familiar cover. A little chat with Fairy Jane was probably impossible—who knew how long I’d have to huddle outside waiting for an answer. Digging deeper, my hand closed over my cell phone, which I’d neglected to power on after the flight. I remedied that oversight. It was midmorning in Austin, and I could probably catch Gabe or Beck, but there was nothing left to say. Honestly, I just needed to cowgirl up and get ’er done.
A tiny red beacon started winking at me—the message light. A text message had been sent a couple of hours ago, as I was whipping through the Scottish countryside on my merry way to here.