Because I Love You

by Jeannie Moon

  She didn’t even know about his run-ins with the legal system. This could be a critical problem for Reliance in general. They dealt with high stakes security systems—banks, brokerages. Hadn’t Tris been fully vetted?

  It was a nice day, so she walked home, still not knowing what was going on that had Nate calling and she didn’t know what she should tell Tris. Good God, this was a mess. And it was a mess because he hadn’t told the truth to anyone, but especially to her.

  Lying was something she just couldn’t handle.

  Christmas decorations were popping up all over in anticipation of the holiday season. Thanksgiving was two days away. She thought this season was going to be magical, but it was turning into a nightmare.

  Once she was in the elevator for her apartment, she called her brother.

  “Nate, talk to me,” she said the second he answered.

  “The SEC has informed us the application for the IPO is ‘irregular’. That was vague. “We have no idea what’s happened. James isn’t answering his phone or emails, and his junior counselors don’t know anything because he never shared the files.”

  “I’ve got some new information you need to look into,” Leah said. “But in the meantime, do you have access to any of his records? Like the application?”

  “No.”

  “Shit, Nate. You’re the boss. BE THE BOSS! Get your IT people to hack those files.”

  “Don’t you think we’re on that?” He took a breath. “Is your new info about Tris? Because I got an earful from a friend.”

  “Yes.”

  Letting herself in the apartment, she heard a noise and forgot that Tris was working from home today. Wonderful.

  She spoke to her brother for a few more minutes, pretty much ignoring Tris, who had come out of his study, while she was on the phone. Nate was panicking, he said Owen was fit to be tied, and Jason was working on a way to break into the Reliance system that was protecting James’ documents.

  Then there was Tristan, and Leah was just too angry to talk to him.

  Once she hung up, she looked at the man who made her heart race, the one she loved more than anything in the world. The man who was supposed to make her supremely happy.

  “You’re home early,” he said. “What’s up?”

  “I had to leave the office. And then Nate needed me.”

  “Yeah, he told me James fouled things up brilliantly. Can you fix it?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Leah, I know I haven’t said anything, but I really hope you’re going to take the job with Reliance. You’re so well suited to the position and you won’t have to deal with the bullshit your firm is dishing out.”

  “I haven’t decided yet. I’ll let you know.”

  “Truly, this is a no-brainer. More money, better perks, and when we have kids, it will be so much better for your career. Stop overthinking and make the decision. It’s the right thing to do.”

  Keeping her wits was the only thing she had left. He was pushing and that was the last thing she needed. If Leah was going to get to the bottom of the document mess, she had to push the fear of losing him out of her mind, and deal with the facts. It was all she had right now. The facts. “You know, Tris, I don’t need you telling me what to do. I’m a perfectly capable attorney and I can make my own decisions about my career. Especially since I can’t trust you for a dime.”

  “Trust me? What the hell are you talking about?”

  “I had a nice conversation with Candace today. Okay,” she said, clarifying, “fine, it wasn’t nice, but she was there and we talked.”

  “Candace. I see. What did you talk about?”

  “You mostly. How you and she were engaged. That little tidbit.”

  “I, ah . . . not exactly. We talked about it. Once.”

  “There was the whole being-investigated thing, and then the almost-getting-thrown-in-jail thing. Kind of serious, if you ask me.”

  “I never went to prison, hell, I was never charged.”

  “But you were investigated, and guess what? The Feds know about that, and guess why Reliance’s application has been held up?

  “Is that what she told you?”

  “Is it true?”

  He didn’t answer and Leah’s heart cracked.

  “Tristan, is any of it true?”

  “Leah, please listen to me. There’s no reason to go off the rails.”

  “Wait, what? Can you give me one good reason that you didn’t tell me the truth? I don’t care who you slept with in your past, Tristan, but if we don’t have the truth between us moving forward we have nothing.”

  “We were engaged. Yes. And I should have told you, but I was, I don’t know. I didn’t think it really mattered.”

  “Of course it matters, if only because I asked you and you didn’t tell me. You lied right to my face. Then what about the investigation? She said that’s why she broke it off with you.”

  “It is. They should have been investigating her, and she threw me under the bus. It was trumped up by her and two other principals in the firm. I was brought in for questioning, but they had no evidence and I was never charged. Could this be at the root of Reliance’s issues? Maybe. But only if she made the SEC believe there was more of a story than there actually was. “

  “You should have said something. Because I have a feeling that’s exactly what she did, and I think she had help.”

  “I made a mistake. This is why you aren’t going to stay at that shit job you have and you’re going to take Reliance’s offer. We need you to navigate problems like this.”

  Leah agreed in principle that Tristan was right about several things. She couldn’t work with Tad, or Candace, anymore. She should take the offer. But she didn’t like that he thought telling her what to do was okay. He didn’t even see fit to tell her the truth.

  “You need to back off, Tris. I’ll make my own decisions.”

  “Leah, it’s the right thing. I know you’re angry at me right now, but don’t let that change anything. It’s a bloody good offer and when we have a family, it makes the best sense.”

  “A family? Tris, right now, I don’t want to look at you. You lied to me.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “You lied more than one time.”

  “Leah . . . Don’t—”

  “I believed in you. In us.” Knowing she couldn’t stay there, Leah moved toward the bedroom. “I can’t believe in that right now. Are you hiding anything else?”

  “No. Please don’t do this.”

  But there was nothing he could say. Lies had cost her everything once before. She couldn’t put herself through that again.

  * * *

  Tristan walked into the office the Monday following Thanksgiving, knowing he had a lot of explaining to do, not only to his partners, but to the investigator from the SEC who had shown up mysteriously to ask him some questions about his involvement in a bad deal in England. He had nothing to tell them, except that he hadn’t done anything wrong. But he didn’t know if it even mattered any more.

  Leah left.

  She packed her bags and went to her parents’ house. Leaving him to wonder if he should even bother to move forward with the new partnership. There was still time for him to pull out, and go home. He could play golf, take care of his own money, and travel. He didn’t need to stay here. He couldn’t if Leah wasn’t part of his life.

  He’d spent Thanksgiving with Jason Campbell and his family. He’d had a very nice time, but he wasn’t where he wanted to be.

  The worst of it was Leah wouldn’t even talk to him. After she’d left, he tried calling her, had left messages, all greeted with silence. If her sister thought she was needy, Amy didn’t know Leah very well. The woman he loved may have had a big, soft heart, but she had a spine of steel and no one pushed her around.

  Robyn was
the first one to greet him and he knew immediately from the look on her face that everyone knew Leah had given him his ring back. She’d left all her jewelry, necklace and earrings as well, and it damn near broke his heart.

  She’d asked him for one thing, and he’d failed her. He didn’t know if he could fix it. Jewelry, gifts, and grand gestures might have been appealing to some women, but for Leah, the only thing that mattered was the truth.

  Landing squarely in his large leather desk chair, Nate appeared in his office in a matter of minutes. “I should probably kick your ass.”

  Tris nodded. “You probably should.”

  “What the hell happened?” Nate came around the desk and leaned into the edge. The man was a good friend, a smart man, and Tris didn’t have a good answer for him.

  “I wasn’t truthful with her. It was all she really wanted.”

  “Well, that was fucking stupid.”

  “Yeah, no kidding.”

  “What about all the SEC shit?”

  “Give me fifteen minutes with the investigator, and it will be clear. Then I’m going to sic the whole bloody agency on Candace, Tad Carr, and James, who I’m sure fucked with our documents.”

  “That sounds like a plan. Then what?”

  Tris took a deep breath and faced what he’d been denying since Leah left him.

  “I think . . .” He stopped, knowing this was going to throw water on Nate’s plans to leave the company. “I think I’m going back to England. Permanently.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Christmas Day dawned the way all days did on a horse farm, with an early call at the barn to feed. Leah rose when she heard Da heading downstairs, and decided she’d rather face the day than wallow in her own self-pity. That was how the last month had gone.

  She’d wake up and have a decision to make about whether to participate with the living, or pull the covers over her head and go back to sleep. Usually, she got up, because that’s who Leah was. She didn’t hide. Ever.

  Pulling on jeans, some nice warm socks, and a pair of tall muckers to go with her rattiest sweatshirt, Leah grabbed her barn coat from the hook by the back door and headed down. It was still dark enough that a few stars hung around the sky, and Leah let the crisp air fill her lungs while she watched the lights in the sky.

  The temperature had dropped, and she could see her breath, a clear reminder that she could still be blissfully warm under the blankets. But there was something wonderfully peaceful and appropriate about being up and out this early on Christmas Day. Like a miracle, snow had fallen last night, and the dimly lit barn buildings were shadowed against a soft blanket of white.

  The sounds of the farm waking up were dependent on the season. In the summer, there was not only the morning activity of all the grooms and trainers, but the sounds of birds and insects punctuated the air. Winter was a quiet time, only a few people, and the animals could be heard. As she got closer, she saw a couple of horses rolling in the snow in their paddock.

  It had been almost a month since she’d left Tristan’s apartment, and she hadn’t spoken to him at all, even though he’d left a message pretty much every day.

  Leah knew she missed him, but she didn’t know what she wanted. She didn’t know anything except that her heart hurt.

  “Morning, Da.”

  “Well, look at you, my wee elf. Here to give me a hand?”

  “You know it.”

  Leaning in to kiss her cheek, he smiled. “Thank you, and Happy Christmas.”

  “Happy Christmas, Da.”

  “You say the words, but you aren’t happy, are you, my darlin’?”

  Her lip trembled, and Leah knew a breakdown was imminent. Shaking her head, she couldn’t speak. Weakly, she finally allowed herself to mutter, “I miss him.”

  “Then you need to find a way to let him know that.” Da sat on a bench in the feed room and patted the space next to him, telling her to sit.

  “You’re wild stubborn, my girl. It is possible you were a wee bit hard on the lad, don’t you think?”

  Leah nodded. “A bit. But he did lie to me.”

  “He did, but you have to find a way to tell him how you feel. I’m not saying he wasn’t wrong, but you both made mistakes. People aren’t perfect, Leah. Neither are marriages. You have to be willing to fight to keep the relationship strong.” Her father dropped a kiss on her forehead. “Apologize, tell your love how you feel, and then I’ll be gifted with your bright smile again.”

  Jenna had told her Tris was going home to England for Christmas. It was already noon there, and she figured a text wouldn’t hurt, would it? One text.

  Merry Christmas.

  The message sent, and Leah stood to get to work, when she heard a little yip outside. Then another. Yap.

  A dog? The shelties were still inside with Mum, and she couldn’t imagine one of the grooms bringing a dog around without letting anyone know, but there it was again.

  Yap.

  Leah stepped outside the barn, and it didn’t take a moment for her eyes to find the figure of a tall man walking toward her. Tristan. He stood before her in jeans and a dark green sweater, holding a puppy.

  A puppy. Yap!

  The wiggling mass of brown and white fur licked him twice on the chin, and Leah felt like Santa had just left her the best present ever. He was back. It was like he knew, and he came back.

  Approaching each other, he and Leah stopped just short of touching.

  “You’re here,” she said. “I thought you were in England.”

  “I was, but I came back. I had to give you your present.”

  He passed the puppy to her, and Leah started to cry.

  “Her name is Lola. She’s a mutt. I’m sure she’ll make mistakes, just like me. But she’s going to love you forever, also just like me.”

  “Oh, Tristan.”

  “Leah, please forgive me. I’m so sorry. I should have told you everything, but I tend to put the past in the past. I know that doesn’t make what I did any better. I know you felt betrayed, and it was a mistake not to tell you the whole sordid story, but I do love you. With all my heart.”

  “I love you, too. I’m sorry. I’ve been so stubborn.”

  “You had every right to be, but I’m asking you now to forgive me. Please wear your ring again, marry me.” He paused and whispered into her ear. “Will you?”

  She nodded, still clutching the puppy, and crying into her fur. The puppy was having none of it. “I will. I most definitely will.”

  “When you’re ready, we’ll put the loft on the market. I was thinking we could buy a house out here, that way you’d be closer to your family and we’d both be closer to work. I heard you took the position.”

  “I did. You’re coming back?”

  “I am. I love you, Leah. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t try to fix this one last time.”

  “I love you, too. And if you hadn’t come here, I’d have been on a plane to find you.”

  “We’re going to fight,” he said. “We’re both too headstrong not to have run-ins. But let’s promise we won’t give up on each other.”

  “Never.”

  Pulling her close, with the puppy between them, Tristan held Leah.

  Her mother always told her that there was magic on this land, brought here by her great grandfather. Mum said, if a person listened to the beating of horses’ hooves in the pasture, and the cadence matched the beat of your heart—that meant your love was near.

  She heard the hooves—steady, strong—just like her and Tristan. Just like the beat of their hearts.

  Standing on her toes, and kissing him lightly, there quite possibly would never be a better Christmas present.

  Epilogue

  Three years later

  Leah sat on the patio of her beautiful house, looking at the back lawn that seemed to roll right i
nto Huntington Harbor. The only thing bluer than the sky was the water. It was a late spring day, warm enough to enjoy the cool salty breezes, but not so hot that it felt like you were melting.

  Boats bobbed in the distance, and Leah watched her handsome husband playing with their twins—two little boys that would give them a run for their money, no doubt, but had brought joy beyond measure.

  The move out of the city had been long overdue—they’d talked about it for two years. But with the kids to raise, and the fact they both worked on Long Island, it didn’t make sense to keep reverse commuting. So, a year ago they pulled the trigger and made the move. They still loved the city, and all the memories they’d made there, but this was home now. The water, the green, the space made every moment blissful.

  Leah thought about how much her mum would have loved watching the boys grow up. When she died last year, Leah vowed to be a mother like she was. Fair, loving, and most of all, present. She wasn’t about to give up her work, she loved it too much, but she did want to step off the fast track. One of the things that she and Tristan did when they bought the house was set up one of the rooms as a home office. It had everything Leah needed to get work done in the middle of the night, if need be, and she had a feeling that’s when she’d be working . . . when the boys were asleep.

  Leah heard several car doors close and when Lola started barking, she was certain their company had arrived. It was the first event they were holding at their new home, and she hoped it wouldn’t be the last. The voices made their way around the house, mostly her father’s, but then she heard Nate and Jenna, and their two kids, and Owen and Kim were with them. Kim was sporting a beautiful baby bump after two years of trying to get pregnant.

  Her family. Her big, messy family. Such a gift.

  “Come on, lads.” Tristan tucked a boy under each arm and carried them giggling toward the voices. “Your grandda is going to want a piece of you, no doubt.”