NoRegretsColeNC

by Christina Cole

  Yes, she knew.

  “To tell the truth, I’m feeling a bit anxious. I’ve never done anything like this before. I mean, I know you’re going to be a gentleman. That was our agreement, and I do trust you. All the same, I wasn’t perfectly honest with the Kellermans. I told them I was going to Denver with friends.”

  “You lied?” Willie laughed. “I can’t believe my ears.”

  She hated to admit it, but, yes, she’d lied, although she preferred to think of it as merely a little fib. It wasn’t. It was an outright lie. Hattie winced.

  “I do feel awful about it. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. I think I should go now.” She turned, ready to bolt for the door, but Willie caught hold of her hand.

  “You can’t leave. Don’t you see? What would you tell the Kellermans? How would you explain why you’d returned so early?” He stared up toward the ceiling, his lips pressed together. “To go to Denver and back…” He grinned. “And, of course, you’d have to account for spending a little time there. What are you supposed to be doing in Denver?”

  Hattie lowered her gaze. “Attending a school reunion. A dance.”

  “At the Female Academy?” He burst into a fit of laughter. “And the Kellermans believed that story? Don’t they know that old spinster headmistress would never allow such a thing?”

  “That’s not at all how I put it. I do have some wits about me.” She threw a pointed look in his direction. “I said I was attending a reunion hosted by friends from school…in a private residence, of course.”

  “Very clever of you.”

  “Yes, I thought it was.”

  Willie folded his arms and grinned. He leaned back on his heels. “So, you can’t possibly go back to the Kellerman’s residence until midnight, at the earliest.”

  “Oh, I suppose you’re right.” Hattie realized how little thought she’d given to her plan. Or had she done this purposefully? Had she deliberately created a situation which would force her to spend hours alone with Willie? Heat rushed to her face. “I guess I should have discussed it with you first. Gracious knows, I’m sure you’ll want me out of here long before midnight.”

  “What makes you think that?” Willie winked at her. “I might enjoy having you here well into the wee hours.”

  She wasn’t sure where the conversation was going, but she knew it was headed in a dangerous direction. Quickly, she grabbed the dinner box. It was still fairly warm to her touch.

  “We’d better enjoy these meals now, don’t you think? Before the food goes cold.” She ripped the string from the first box. “Here, I’ll do the serving.” Keeping busy would help her keep her wits, she hoped.

  While she ladled the meat, onions, and potatoes onto their plates, Willie grabbed some strange-looking contraption and used it to pull the cork from the wine bottle. It made a loud, popping noise. She jumped and let out a gasp.

  “Settle down,” he said in a gentle voice. “You’re too nervous. A glass of wine is just what you need. It will help you relax.” He picked up a chipped crystal goblet and filled it.

  “I’ve never had wine before.” Hattie stared at the glass he handed her. “Will it make me…drunk?”

  “Not a single glass. Just sip it slowly. Savor it.”

  His eyes dared her again. Determined to rise to each challenge, she lifted her chin. “All right, yes. I will.” She would savor the wine, and she would savor these moments, fully enjoying this audacious, enchanted evening with Willie.

  To her delight, the simple meal proved delicious, and Willie kept her entertained with witty stories as they dined. The wine teased her tongue with sweet, tingling sensations.

  “This is good,” she told him with a smile, not even hesitating when he refilled her glass. He’d promised, after all, to be a perfect gentleman, had assured her when she’d accepted the invitation that he would not take advantage of her. She trusted him fully.

  “Now, I have a surprise for you,” Willie said after they’d finished their meal. He rose and held out his hand. “Come with me.”

  When she took hold of his hand, he led her from the table, but there was nowhere to go, and nowhere to sit but on his bed. Although she did as he asked and sat beside him, apprehension gnawed at her.

  “A surprise?” She bit her lip, unable to remember ever having any good surprises. Whenever something caught her off guard, it always proved something dreadful.

  “Don’t look so worried. Surprises can be very pleasant. At least, I hope this one is.” His brow furrowed as though he were suddenly concerned. “I do hope you like it, Hattie,” he said. He reached out, opened the drawer of the nightstand and took out a small package wrapped in white tissue and tied with a bright red string.

  She stared at his outstretched offering. Had it been a rattlesnake coiled to strike, she couldn’t have been more wary. Although her heart raced, her head warned her to be cautious. Willie Morse had no reason to give her a gift. Miss Brundage, the headmistress at the Female Academy in Denver had, in fact, issued severe warnings about accepting gifts from men.

  “They use trinkets and shiny baubles to lure unsuspecting young women into their lairs,” the spinster had said. “Such tricks are preludes to attempts at seduction. Don’t be foolish enough to fall for the ploy.”

  Hattie swallowed hard. “I’m sorry, but I can’t accept anything from you.”

  A crest-fallen expression appeared on his face.

  “Please, Hattie. It’s not much, really. Nothing fancy or fine. Just a small token of friendship.”

  She blushed, realizing how quickly she’d drawn the wrong conclusion. She and Willie were friends, nothing more. He wasn’t out to seduce her.

  But he kissed me at the creek. He told me I was pretty.

  Maybe the drink was going to her head, or maybe it was just being so close to Willie that left her suddenly bewildered. Worse, he’d aroused not only those same heart-pounding sensations she’d felt before, but her curiosity as well. She was dying to know what token of friendship he’d tucked away inside the little gift-wrapped box.

  “You don’t need to ply me with presents to gain my friendship,” she pointed out. “It’s not necessary.”

  Willie turned to face her. The bed creaked with his weight. “There’s more to it, Hattie,” he said. “Let me explain.”

  Her heart squeezed inside her chest. More to it, indeed. Just as Miss Brundage had warned. Hattie jumped to her feet—not a wise thing to do after drinking several full glasses of wine. How many times had Willie refilled her glass? Dizziness forced her to sit down again. Her head was spinning, or was it the room that was spinning around her? She tried to focus on Willie. He seemed to be spinning, too.

  “Are you all right?” He peered intently at her.

  She hiccoughed. “Yes, I think so. Yes, I am. I’m sure of it.” She forced her thoughts back to the present moment and to the enticing little gift tied with that bright red ribbon. “I know it’s wrong of me to accept a gift, but I’m going to do it anyway. I don’t understand, though, why you did this.”

  “I did it for your birthday, Hattie.”

  She hiccoughed again. “My birthday? You know I don’t have one. Not a real one, anyway.”

  “I’m giving you one. That’s what this is all about. That’s why I invited you over.”

  “You invited me over to share your birthday.”

  “Yes. We’ll share the date. We’ll celebrate together.” He bent toward her. “If you don’t know when your real birthday is, you can choose to celebrate whenever you want, and I’d be honored, Miss Richards, if you’d share my birthdate. I’d be honored, too, to have you accept this gift.”

  “Nobody has ever done anything like this before.” Emotions rushed through her. She wanted to laugh with some crazy sort of happiness, but she felt like crying, too, from the sheer joy of it. A birthday. And a birthday gift. For her!

  With trembling, clumsy fingers, she snatched the gift from Willie’s hand and giggled.

  “It’s really not
much,” he said again.

  Chapter Nine

  “Whatever it is, I’m sure I’ll find it lovely.” She pushed the ribbon away, tore off the wrapping and, before lifting the lid, drew in a deep breath. Ever so slowly, she pried the top up just enough to peek inside. She shut it again and looked up at Willie, puzzled by the odd contents. “It’s quite lovely. But, what is it?”

  He laughed. “If you don’t know what it is, or what it’s for, I’m not sure how you can find it so lovely.”

  “It’s got a little piece of feather, I see.” She opened it slightly and peeked again, unsure whether or not she should actually remove the lid. “I do think feathers are lovely.”

  “It’s a trout-fishing fly.”

  “A fly?” Hattie gasped, dropping the box. The lid came off, and out rolled the feathery little creature of some sort. “It’s alive?”

  “No. It’s a lure—”

  “Just like Miss Brundage warned!” Her gasp grew louder. “But it’s not at all what I’d expect.”

  “Miss Brundage? The headmistress at that girls’ school?”

  Hattie nodded. “Not a mere girls’ school. A female academy,” she explained. “She said men gave gifts for one reason only, and that’s to lure innocent girls to their bed.”

  “It’s a lure for catching fish, Hattie.”

  Again, she’d spouted off and made herself sound foolish.

  “Yes, of course,” she said. “For trout.”

  “I thought we might go fishing again someday.”

  “And if we did, would you kiss me again?” Where had that question come from?

  “I’d like to.” Willie moved closer. “In fact, I’d like to kiss you right now.”

  “Would you…please?”

  Hattie refused to think of all the reasons why she shouldn’t have come to Willie’s room, why she shouldn’t be sitting on the edge of his bed, and most of all why she shouldn’t be letting him hold her in his arms and kiss her. She knew right from wrong, had always been a decent young woman who followed all the rules and did what was expected of her. For once, she wanted to make her own rules and do what she wanted. And at that moment, there was nothing she wanted more than to be right where she was, enjoying Willie’s thrilling kisses.

  She might regret it later, but…

  No. No regrets. We agreed.

  She pushed aside any thoughts of tomorrow and what it might bring. For tonight, she would live fully, and always she would have these precious moments to remember.

  Letting out a slow breath, she let go, too, of all her inhibitions. The last of her restraint slipped away as she gave herself up to the pleasure of Willie’s embrace. His strong arms made her feel warm, secure, and loved in a way she’d never known before. For the first time ever, she was truly wanted, she was someone whose life mattered.

  She nearly wept with joy.

  But this was no time for tears. Willie’s mouth pressed against hers, the feel of his lips hot, demanding, insistent, and inviting all at once. Shivers coursed through her body as he buried his face against her neck. His strong hands caressed her back, gliding across the fabric of her gown, his fingers kneading her pliant, willing flesh.

  Hattie gasped when Willie’s tongue parted her lips and slipped inside her mouth. Miss Brundage had spoken of such despicable acts, but it didn’t feel as though she were being abused, or plundered, as the old spinster had taught. Instead, it felt like heaven. A slight moan slipped from her lips as his tongue teased hers. Boldly, she followed with provocative thrusts of her own. Her actions caught Willie by surprise which only added to her growing excitement.

  Willie needed her. That’s what he’d told her over and over. She understood now what he’d meant. He needed her not merely as a young nurse looking after a patient’s care. He needed more than her pleasant smile and cheery words. He needed her…being with her, sharing himself with her, trusting her. He’d invited her to his room tonight precisely because of that, and his actions clearly showed how much he enjoyed her company. They stopped for breath, pulling away, panting, staring into each other’s eyes. Willie’s pupils were black holes in the dim light.

  “Do you really like me?” Hattie asked.

  “Of course I like you.”

  “Does that mean you care about me?”

  “What sort of question is that?” His whispered words grazed her cheeks. “Yes, Hattie, I care about you. I want you. I need you.” Drawing her close again, he silenced her with more kisses.

  Hattie pulled away from his embrace, lay back on the bed, and gazed up into his eyes. She saw warmth, she saw desire, and was there something more? Could that be a look of genuine love shining from his countenance?

  “I think I need you, too.” She didn’t understand the crazy feelings swirling around inside her muddled head. All she knew was that she loved being there with Willie, loved all he was making her feel. Not just wanted. Not just needed. Willie made her feel valued.

  Bending over her, he framed his face with his big hands. “Do you know what you’re saying?”

  Probably not. Hattie couldn’t think, couldn’t put enough words together to answer his question. She moved her head slightly, first one direction, then the other. Even something so simple as a gesture eluded her now. All her thoughts and feelings spun together. Delightful currents of pure pleasure eddied through her body like ripples spreading across the surface of the lake.

  “Maybe I should see you home,” he suggested. He turned away.

  “No, I want to stay here.” Scrambling from the bed, she grabbed hold of him. “I have to stay here. If you take me back, I’ll have to make up some lie about why I came home, and—” She hiccoughed, put a hand to her mouth, and grinned. “I’d have to tell the doctor and his wife that I’ve been drinking. I don’t think they’d approve.”

  How she’d ever managed to get all those words out, Hattie didn’t know. They’d come tumbling out when she opened her mouth, and she wasn’t quite sure even what she’d said. But it didn’t matter, really.

  “You’ve had too much to drink.” Willie frowned at her. “I’m sorry, Hattie. I should have realized you’d never had wine before.”

  “I’m fine.” She made an attempt to square her shoulders. “Don’t take me home. I want to stay here. I like being with you, Willie.”

  “Do you, really? Why?”

  She nodded. Her head had cleared a little. Standing on her feet seemed to make it easier to think straight. “You make me feel good, Willie. Good about myself, I mean. Nobody has ever made me feel important, or that my life mattered. I’ve always been unloved, unwanted, always…”

  “Hush, Hattie Mae.” His arms were around her at once.

  In that moment, she knew why she’d come and never mind that it was wrong for her to be there. For all his faults, Willie had a goodness to him. Maybe no one else could see it, but she’d witnessed it in so many things he did, so many things he said. If she believed in him—and she did—in time he might come to believe in himself, too.

  But such thoughts were too deep for her mind at that moment. She let them recede into some dark place where they could lie quietly at rest. Tomorrow she might take them out again and ponder them a bit. Or if not tomorrow perhaps the following day. Or…another time.

  Yes, another time.

  At that moment, she wanted only to think of Willie, to think—no, to feel—the tickling, tingling, teasing sensations of all those precious little kisses he was trailing over her cheeks, her throat, and her shoulders.

  Hattie reached up to push the neckline of her dress down lower, giving his mouth more room to play as the kisses grew hotter. Gracious, but she’d never felt anything so delightful. She leaned back and sighed.

  She was not supposed to let this happen. According to the rules, she should be pushing him away. She should sit, pull her dress back up properly, and then get to her feet and dash madly toward the door. Most likely a few well-chosen words about loutish behavior should also be uttered.

  Mi
ss Brundage had made it clear that no decent girl would ever tolerate such filthy, disgusting acts as those in which Hattie now found herself engaged. Most definitely no girl would ever encourage such a thing.

  For once, Hattie wasn’t going to follow the rules. Instead, she nestled closer as Willie gathered her into his arms.

  He liked her. He wanted her. Heaven help her, but he thought she was pretty.

  Those thoughts careened through her head, making her feel as though she were the most beautiful woman in the world, at least in Willie’s eyes, and what else mattered? She wanted to show him how happy he made her feel. She wanted to please him, to thank him for all the joy he’d brought into her life.

  When his hand strayed to the bodice of her gown, she drew in a breath. How would it feel if he touched her…there? Desperate to know, she reached up. Her fingers fumbled at the lacy ribbons. Now he touched her breast through the sheer fabric of her chemise. When his thumb grazed over a hard, swollen nipple, Hattie’s body nearly rocketed skyward like some wild firecracker on the Fourth of July.

  “Wait, wait.” The words came out in a whispered rush of breath.

  She must discover more of these incredible feelings, must know how it would feel to have him stroke her flesh. Hattie’s hand trembled as she untied the drawstring of her chemise and tugged it downward, leaving her shoulders and her breasts bare to his touch.

  Would he look at her? Would he like what he saw?

  Glancing down, Hattie stared at her own full breasts, astonished by the sight of the hard, pink nipples. A soft sheen covered her skin, making it shimmer in the lamplight. She reached for Willie’s hand.

  “Touch me. Kiss me.”

  Willie lowered his head, eagerly accepting her invitation.

  Her brazen behavior thrilled Hattie. She held her breath, as Willie’s lips touched the sensitive tips of her breasts. When his mouth closed over one aching nipple, she sighed at the unbelievable sensations.

  “Yes, I like that. Oh, yes, do that again,” she crooned.

  Willie did not hesitate, sucking at the nipple with gentle motions that left her gasping at the sheer pleasure of it. Waves of joy rippled through her, moving from her breasts to someplace deep within.