Almost Christmas

by Brooke St. James

  "Mae?" I heard Jesse say.

  I stepped into view of the door, noticing that he was standing there with it wide open. I waved at the young woman who was beaming at me. She was adorable, and couldn’t have been more than 17 or 18. I had already guessed who she was before Jesse introduced her as his niece, Lily. She stooped to pet Jack before he took off into the yard to find Donna.

  "I hope you don't mind if I brought your car over to Chance's," Jesse said. "I talked to him this morning, and he wanted me to get it over there as quick as I could since tomorrow is Christmas Eve. He said after today, he wouldn't be doing anything for about a week, so I thought you would want to have him go ahead and look at it."

  "Oh my goodness, thank you so much for doing that," I said. "You could have woken me up so you didn’t have to bother Lily for a ride."

  "It's no bother," Lily said. "I help out up at Chance's so I was there, anyway. I'm saving up to get an old car. Probably a Mustang."

  "Jesse was telling me you liked cars. I didn't realize you worked with his friend."

  "Only weekends and when I'm off school like I am right now."

  "Well, thank you for helping out," I said. "And tell Chance thanks for looking at it today."

  She smiled and nodded. "I'm sure he'll have you up and running by this afternoon. I think it's the head gasket. I heard Chance say something about it before we left."

  I glanced at Jesse as if to ask what the head gasket was, and he smiled, saying he'd tell me later.

  "How much is a head gasket?" I asked as Lily drove away and we went back into the house.

  "You don't need to know," he said, stopping to stare at me.

  "Please," I said.

  He smiled. "It's not gonna be a thousand, which is bad, because I'm getting at least a thousand dollars worth out of this experience. In fact, I might have to give you the rest in cash."

  I let out a laugh at that. Donna and Jack had already beat us inside, and I could hear them both drinking from a water bowl in the mudroom. Jesse leaned against the bar in the kitchen, and I came to stand next to him. I felt drawn to him, pulled to him, like standing beside him wasn't enough. I wanted to lean against him or at least reach out and touch his arm—make some sort of contact. Obviously, I didn't do that.

  I smiled at him, thinking about how sweet it was for him to say he got at least a thousand dollars worth from our encounter when it seemed as if he stood to gain nothing from it. The conversation we had the night before had been important to me and I assumed it was important to him, too. I thought that was what he was referring to when he said he got his money's worth.

  "I had fun talking to you last night," I said.

  Jesse smiled and nodded but then rubbed his eyebrows like he might have a headache or something. I reached out and pushed at his shoulder, feeling thankful for the excuse to touch him. "You shouldn’t regret anything that was said. I was too tired to remember anything, anyway."

  He scanned me from my waist up, stopping when our eyes met. "You don't remember?" he asked.

  I could not lie to him. I could not stare into his eyes and tell a bald-face lie. "Yes, no. Yes, I do." I sighed and let my shoulders slump. "I remember every single thing. But you don't have to worry because you're talking to the absolute professional of secrets." I made a motion like I was locking my mouth and throwing away the key.

  "Mae," he said, staring at me.

  "Yeah?"

  "You're gonna be leaving tomorrow—"

  "Tonight if the car's ready," I said, drawing a little scowl from him, which he quickly shrugged off.

  "You're leaving soon, and we probably won't see each other again after that."

  "I was just thinking about that," I said. "It seems to me that knowing we'd never see each other again worked to our advantage. I think we both needed someone to listen without judgment—someone who could hear it today and forget all about it tomorrow."

  He smiled, but it was a humorless one that said he didn’t agree with what I was saying.

  "What?" I asked. He looked at me, and I tilted my head at him. "I'm sorry if you regret talking to me last night, but it was the highlight of my…" I almost said it was the highlight of my life, but I cut myself off, knowing that would be weird. "It was a real highlight for me to be able to confide in you like that. I was with Jeff for seven years and didn't tell him half of that—any of it, actually."

  Jesse rubbed his eyebrows again. "I don't really want to hear about Jeff," he said.

  "I'm sorry," I said, taking a mug from the drying rack and pouring myself a small cup of coffee. Everything was sitting there prepped and ready to go, so I just helped myself to it since I knew Jesse wouldn't mind. "I'm sorry if you feel weird about last night."

  He nodded, staring absentmindedly at the kitchen floor. He had on jeans and a jacket, but he shed his coat and tossed it onto the back of a barstool, revealing the t-shirt underneath. I turned my eyes away from his chest, staring down at my coffee as I stirred in some sugar. I wanted some cream, but I thought it would be too much for me to dig in his refrigerator without asking, so rather than ask, I settled for drinking coffee with sugar only.

  "Jack smells so much better," I said, changing the subject. "And he didn't have any accidents, thank goodness."

  "There's leftover quiche in the fridge if you want some of it."

  "You made a quiche?" I asked, looking impressed and most of all thankful for the subject change.

  "Nina," he said, referring to his oldest sister (Lily's mom).

  "I might eat a little of it if you don't mind."

  "I don't," he said. He started to walk off toward the mudroom but then he turned and stood right in front of me. "I think we should get something out of the way first," he said.

  "What?" I asked. My first thought was that it might be about money, but then it crossed my mind that he wanted to ravish me right there in his kitchen. His eyes roamed over my face like the second option might be an actual possibility. My heart started pounding, and I smiled and grabbed the front of my sweater and began lifting it up and down to cool myself off.

  "Good grief, Jesse, why you gotta go looking at me like that?" I asked. "You're making a girl get all hot and bothered over here."

  "I know," he said. "How do you think I feel? That's why I said we should get it out of the way. I was gonna take you by my mom's today, and then your car will be ready, and before we know it, you'll be leaving."

  "What are we trying to get out of the way?" I asked.

  He leaned down, and in one swift but soft movement, he landed his lips right on mine. It was so unexpected that I barely had time to lean into it before he took them away from me again.

  It was a quick kiss, but Jesse Ward already had me on the verge of falling in love with him, so a kiss, no matter how swift, had the capability to open all sorts of unwanted doors. It felt as though literal sparks might come shooting out of my body—like I might have some super hero lightning powers. I stared at his gorgeous face, feeling overwhelmed with respect, admiration, friendship, love, or some crazy mixture of all of it.

  I thought I was going to be able to contain my feelings for him into this box that I had carefully constructed the night before, but this, this touching my mouth with his mouth—this could not be a part of the equation.

  Chapter 11

  "Oh, Jesse, we absolutely, for the love of all that is good in the world, cannot do that again," I whispered after he kissed me.

  I was so overwhelmed with emotion that it took me a few seconds to gather the nerve to say it. He must have been expecting me to react that way because he wasn't even looking at me. He had shifted to where we were both leaning up against the counter, and we stood there, spacing out on the grey tiles of the kitchen floor.

  His kiss had been extremely brief, but it caused a domino effect of things to happen within me. I had never felt anything like it physically. The aftershocks of it left me feeling so on edge with nerves that I just stared aimlessly at the floor. I had just told
him we could not do that again, which was obviously the wisest thing, but the exact opposite of what I wanted to happen.

  "I'm sorry," he said. "I probably shouldn't have done that." He was standing beside me, and my eyes, though still downcast, drifted to him—his legs and the way they were crossed in front of him. He had kicked off his boots when he came in, and he had on blue striped wool socks. I took a snapshot of the vision of his casually crossed legs to keep in my memory bank since it was a divine sight.

  "It just took me by surprise," I said. "I was expecting you to... I wasn't expecting anything like that to happen, you know? I mean what happened with us last night sort of put me in a different place with you," I said. "I thought we'd appreciate the encounter for what it was, and say goodbye with no feelings at the end." I let out a long sigh since my words weren't coming out right. I felt like I was talking myself into a corner. "Uhhh, what I'm saying is that doing stuff like that complicates things." I paused and smiled at him when he glanced my way. "It makes things even more confusing than they already were, which is pretty epic since I'm already so messed up."

  "You're not messed up," he said. "But I get it if you want me to keep my hands to myself. I would have been mad at myself if I let you go without trying, though."

  I looked at him to find that he was leaning forward to study something at the other side of the living room.

  "It's my mom," he said.

  Jesse smiled toward the front door and whoever it was must have seen him, because he waved them in, and the next thing I knew, I heard the sound of the door opening. I turned, expecting an older woman, but what I saw was two smiling women preceded by two children—a boy and a girl. I focused in their direction just in time to see the rush of people come through the front door. They were decked out in festive holiday clothes.

  Donna and Jack ran over to the kids, who shrieked at the sight of a new dog and ran with them toward the couch. Jesse and I were still standing in the kitchen. He had taken a few steps toward them, but I hung back.

  I could feel my blood pressure rising as the women scanned the room, noticing my dog and then me in no particular order. I smiled nervously and lifted my hand in a little wave.

  "I didn't know you had a young lady here," the older of the two women said. She was staring at her son with a smile and wide eyes.

  "Oh, I'm not a young lady," I blurted, cringing the instant it came out of my mouth. "I mean, I’m a lady, but not that kind of, I'm, uh," I sighed. "I’m Mae. Like the month, only spelled differently."

  I wanted to slap my hand to my forehead at what a babbling idiot I was being, but I held back. I ran a fingernail up and down the seam of my jeans.

  The women smiled sweetly and continued heading toward us like they didn't even notice my ramblings.

  "M-A-E?" the older woman asked as she came closer to hug her son.

  "Yes ma'am," I said.

  "I'm L-O-U," she said, standing in front of me with her hand extended.

  "Hi Lou," I said, trying to smile despite my nerves.

  She smiled and gently pinched my cheek. "Hi Mae."

  The other woman was younger. She had been hugging Jesse while I greeted Lou.

  "I'm CeCe," she said. "We're Jesse's mom and big sister."

  He had told me some about them the night before. Even though I theoretically knew about them and should have been better prepared to make their acquaintances, I found myself feeling tongue-tied. I did my best to remember to breathe and maybe manage a smile.

  Lou went over to stand by her son. "I told CeCe I'd meet her over here since your house is on the way. We're headed to Roanoke to get the kids' picture taken with Santa. She likes the one at the mall over there."

  "He's always a good one," CeCe explained, leaning over to pick up the smallest child, a little girl who was wearing a precious red dress with a white sweater and white boots.

  "Come see, princess," Jesse said, reaching out for her the second her mom came into the room with her. The little girl reached out for her uncle, and I watched the exchange take place. Jesse looked at me.

  "This is CeCe's daughter, June, and that's Drew."

  "Drew and June," I said, smiling as I reached out to touch the little girl's dress.

  "Why don't y'all come with us?" Lou said, looking back and forth between Jesse and me. "You can have your picture taken with Santa, too."

  "Yeah, come get your picture taken with Santa, Uncle Jesse!" Drew called, running toward the kitchen.

  I grew up on reruns of Full House, and the name Uncle Jesse brought back a whole string of memories of the cool, hot uncle who played in a rock band. I couldn’t help but smile at the thought that this Uncle Jesse was even hotter than the original.

  "Somebody's excited about getting her picture taken with Santa," Jesse said, seeing me grin on account of the Uncle Jesse thoughts.

  "Me, huh? No, I’m not, I wasn't. I was thinking about something. I have to stick around and wait for my car. But thank you."

  I had absolutely no room in my budget for a trip to the mall—even going to grab a bite to eat would be awkward for me.

  "You're car's not gonna be ready for at least a few hours," Jesse said. "You seemed like you were smiling real hard about Santa just now."

  Jesse was a smart man. He knew perfectly well that I had not been thinking of Santa when I was smiling, but he acted like he really thought I was so I'd have to agree to go.

  "Yayyy!" Drew exclaimed. He looked at me. "Are you excited to see Santa, too?" he asked, staring up at me with big brown eyes.

  "Yesss," I whispered tentatively, smiling back at him.

  His smile grew bigger as he slammed his fist onto the couch out of excitement.

  "How far is it?" I asked, looking at Jesse.

  He shrugged. "An hour at the most."

  I lifted one shoulder and smiled at him and his mom and sister shyly. "If you don't mind me tagging along," I said.

  "Come on, I'm glad you two are coming!" Lou said, patting her son on the back and urging him toward the door.

  It took us a few minutes to get out the door, but they were already set in motion, and with little June's naptime looming, we just sort of jumped into CeCe's minivan in what seemed like a whirlwind.

  CeCe threw Jesse her keys and remarked on how relieved she was not to drive. Drew asked if I could sit with him "in the very back". He was cute, and he seemed to want to check me out, which made me a little less nervous with the adults. Most of it was probably that I was Jack's owner, though. Drew loved my new dog from the instant they met. He talked us into taking Jack along for the ride since he was small and could easily curl up in the van.

  "I'm Ironman, and my dad's The Incredible Hulk," Drew said, staring up at me from the spot next to me. Jack was perched between us with front half of his body on my leg. Drew rested his arm on Jack's back absentmindedly.

  "Who are you?" he asked. He paused and waited intently for my answer.

  "I'm Mae."

  He laughed. "No silly, what character are you?"

  "Me, I'm, uh… Do I have to pick a super hero?"

  "No, you can pick a princess if you want."

  "Like Princess Peach?" I asked, since the character from Super Mario Brothers was the only specific princess I could think of.

  "Or Princess Daisyyy, or Sofiaaa," he said, drawing the names out to make the list sound longer even though it was just two options.

  "Okay, I'll take Sophia," I said. I didn't know who she was, but I liked the sound of the name.

  Just then, little June stared making a whining, moaning noise from the row of seats in front of us. Lou was sitting next to her, and she looked at the little girl as if wondering what was the matter.

  "June doesn't want you to be Princess Sophia cause she already picked her," Drew said, explaining his sister's tantrum.

  "I'll be Peach," I said, hoping that would make it all better.

  June instantly stopped making that disapproving sound, and I looked at Drew with a silly expression t
hat said I was thankful to have gotten out of that one.

  He slapped both hands to his forehead and fell to the side, laughing at his little sister. "So, if you're Peach, you need Mario to save you," he said when he finished laughing.

  I wanted to say that his uncle Jesse must be Mario because he sure did a good job saving me the last two nights, but I kept that to myself.

  I had to stop comparing Jesse Ward to fictional characters because all it did was make me think about his looks, which made me feel all warm and gooey again. No more comparing.

  Lou turned to look at me with a smile from the row in front of us. "How do you know my son?" she asked.

  I have no idea why I didn’t expect her to ask me that. It was a logical question, and yet it took me completely by surprise. I felt my heart speed up the second she asked it. I considered making up a lie, but quickly decided that wasn't an option. The truth came out almost without my permission.

  "He's helping me out, actually. I'm on the road making a cross-country trip, and my car broke down. Jesse said he had a friend who could take a look at it for me."

  "Did you take her down to Chance's?" Lou asked, directing her question to her son.

  "Yep," I heard him say, adjusting the mirror to look at his mom.

  "Where are you headed?" she asked, facing me again with a smile.

  "Just wherever you guys go," I said. "I don't have any shopping to do or anything."

  She smiled. "Where are you headed on your trip?" she asked. "You said you were driving cross-country."

  I actually knew what she was asking the first time, but I was pretending to misunderstand in hopes that she might not correct me.

  "Ohhh, Florida," I said.

  "What part?" she asked. "CeCe's husband's from there."

  "Miami," I said, since it was the only city in Florida that I could remember exactly where it was on a map.

  "He grew up in Fort Pierce," CeCe said from the front seat.

  Lou looked at me, asking with her expression if that sounded familiar, and I smiled and nodded even though I only might have vaguely seen a city with that name. "Do you have family down in Florida?" she asked.