Remnant

by Michael Clements

  “It's for his own good. If he knew half the things I know, he wouldn't want anything to do with me. Rightfully, in my opinion. I'm no prize. I'm certainly not a wife.”

  “You are his wife, though.”

  Candace laughed. “That man I shot... You know what happened after I nursed him?” Mercy shook her head. “I gave him what he wanted, exactly how he wanted it. Less aggressively than that, of course. Why? Because I wanted some, too. I just didn't want him to hurt me in the process. What kind of wife am I when I do things like that?”

  Mercy was at a loss for words. “...Wh-where was James when this happened?”

  “He hadn't found me yet. I didn't think he would find me. I didn't want him to.” She knew Mercy was disgusted at what she was learning. If you didn't like me before, she thought, I'm sure you must adore me now. Candace lowered her head. She felt her eyes begin to sting. “Did James ever tell you how we got here, in the city? Why we got stuck here in the first place?”

  “No. We never talked about that.” After a moment, Mercy showed that she knew what Candace was getting at. “Were you cheating on James?”

  Candace gave the blanket back to Mercy as she stood up. The cold began to take over again, but she did not mind. “We met when we were teens,” she said, walking back to the windows. “He was good-looking. Funny, smart... I liked how he grew out a beard from time to time. I really liked him, don't get me wrong.” She turned, seeing Mercy paying close attention. “It was the worst time to fall in love, though. I was starting to have doubts.”

  “About what?”

  “Everything,” Candace eventually answered. “God, faith, the Bible... everything. That was … rather easy to hide from him, though. We started doing all kinds of sexual things with each other. We avoided actual intercourse though, because that was what only married couples should do. Or, that's how we justified it. I liked what James could do with his tongue.” With so much truth already spoken, she did not care to be subtle now. “That's what our relationship was like for the first couple years. It didn't matter that I was having doubts, because we barely acted like we cared about 'biblical rules' anyway.”

  She heard Mercy stand and slowly walk toward her. “It's hard to imagine James was ever like that,” she said, making Candace wonder if that was an attempt at humor.

  “James had a change of heart one day. Just... suddenly realized we were being sinful. He said we needed to hold off on doing anything sexual until we were married. That was a really hard change to make for me. I didn't even know if I wanted to marry him. So, I started spending a little too much time with his best friend, Caleb. Then, one night, we had sex. Like, full sex.”

  Mercy was now looking out the window with her. “I lost my virginity when I was sixteen,” she said. “I never really thought anything of it, to be honest. I didn't even know the guy.”

  Candace shook her head. She was reliving the disappointment in herself all over again. “James proposed to me a few months later. I shouldn't have said yes...”

  “Why did you say yes? I mean, you cheated on him and you were having doubts already.”

  “Oh no. At that point I had lost my faith completely. I never told him, though. Even now, James doesn't know I stopped believing in God years ago. I said yes because we grew up together. Our families were good friends, we had the same friends at church... His dad was the senior pastor at our church. Everyone wanted us to get married. If I had said no, and admitted why, they would have disowned me. Everyone. Even my own family. It happened to someone at our church before. I almost had to marry James.

  “Caleb made it easy to cope with. I just kept seeing him. When I was with Caleb, I was happy. I wanted to do things with him, I wanted to sleep with him... I wanted to marry him. He tried to get me to leave James so many times. But when the war started, and people were beating each other in the streets and raiding each other's homes... That's when I realized I needed James. I was afraid of dying. Caleb wasn't there for me during all the chaos. I snuck out one night to see him and found him fucking some other girl.

  “As bad as things got, James was still faithful to me. He still protected me. He still loved me. I knew he would never abandon me. I saw what a piece of shit I was. For so long, I was stabbing him in the back. A good person like him, and I did nothing the whole time but take advantage of him. I found out from a friend that Caleb was in Northeast Portland. I drove up here to confront him, but I ran into a road block, and my car was swarmed.”

  Candace lost composure, starting to cry. “Before cell service went down, I called James. Told him where I was. And he came for me.” Her weeping grew to bitter. “He didn't ask what I was doing up here, he ... he didn't wait until it was safer... He just came. He risked his life to find me here. I was only here because I was going to see my boyfriend.”

  She lifted up James' sketch, forcing herself to look at it. The image reminded her of him in every way. Of them. Their relationship. Their memories. A perfect replica of everything they shared in life since the day they became one. She didn't allow Mercy to see it, pressing it firmly against her belly. Mercy held her closely, and Candace held her back.

  They heard something nearby, a loud crackling. It broke their embrace and Candace readied the gun. They soon realized it was a random sound coming from outside. As Candace continued to sniffle, Mercy put her hand on her back. “If there's something I know for sure, Candace,” she said, “it's that we can lose the people we love at any time. Death doesn't wait for us to be ready.”

  “I know...”

  “Let go of your pride and your fear. Tell James the truth. I don't doubt he'll still love you the same.”

  Candace nodded. “You're right,” she confessed. “I may not see him again. I may have missed my last chance...”

  JAMES

  Behind him, Seth was staggering, as he had been since they departed. Seth was tired, his eyes were heavy and he had barely enough energy to walk. They made their way to the waterfront, where they hoped to find others. It was a gamble to expect finding anyone out in the open like that. We are, he thought. They crossed over Naito Parkway, which ran along the Willamette River, where only the waterfront was on the other side.

  What was once an area for outdoor recreation, a place to peacefully enjoy the bountiful nature that the city was once known for, was now a wasteland of its own. The grass was nearly a foot long and half-dead. The sidewalk that ran along the river was covered in trash, with remains of tents, forts and barricades. Troops and civilians had both occupied the area at some point, and now it was useless to either. Far down the waterfront, he saw the bridge he referred to as Old Steel. It was a drawbridge constructed before anyone's grandmother was born, and its faded black paint was testament to that. Where that bridge began was where James could see the military currently camped. In hindsight, he thought he had seen people watching him from the bridge itself with binoculars.

  “How about them?” James asked Seth.

  Seth saw what he saw, but winced with disgust. “No, we can't go that way.”

  “Why not?”

  Seth flailed his hand and scratched his head absently. “Because it's the army, obviously.”

  “Why does that mean we can't go there? I know they have defenses up, but they won't shoot us. There's only two of us.”

  “We shouldn't go there in the first place. And you're wrong about that. They will shoot us as soon as we're in range.”

  “Seth, our own military won't kill us for no reason.”

  Seth scoffed loudly. “The government's military,” he said. “They're just cops with bigger guns who enforce laws more than they serve and protect. That's how they've always been.”

  James nodded to keep Seth from thinking he was trying to be hostile. “That's what everyone says,” he began, turning to watch the bridge more closely, “but do we know any of this for sure? It's just rumors. I don't think our own troops are the enemy, Seth.”

  “You know what our own president, our own government, did to
us. The army only serves the corrupt elite. They are the enemy.”

  “I haven't seen any evidence that they're hostile. You can't believe something just because that's what a lot of people believe.”

  Seth laughed again. “...Coming from the guy who's devoted his life to a bronze-age book of superstitions and myths.”

  James lowered his head, though he was not offended. He gave Seth the satisfaction to avoid further hostility between them. I know what I believe is true, he thought, even if you're too lost to see it. He turned, and they began walking the other direction. “Where should we go, then? There's not very many people we can trust in the city.”

  “We could try the other bridge?” said Seth. “Mercy came here from that bridge.”

  James pondered a moment. “The Broadway?”

  “Yeah, that one. The red one up there.”

  “I'm surprised that bridge hasn't been taken,” James commented. “Or the entire city for that matter.”

  “The government has a lot of resistance to deal with. Downtown is the last area we still have, or so Isaac told us.”

  They took a ramp that partly led to a junction that could either take them to the Broadway Bridge or back into downtown. James saw Seth scour both ends of the street as if looking for something. “I stood right down there,” said Seth, “when Mercy came here with Ethan.”

  “Why was Ethan bringing her here?” asked James.

  “I don't know. He didn't even tell her. It probably had something to do with...”

  Both stopped immediately when they walked around the curve. Terror consumed them and James could feel himself tremble. Before them lay a mass of bodies, most of them burnt to black charcoal. It covered the street, making a blockade to all vehicles. The pile was three bodies high, up to five in some places. They know not what they do, he thought as a half-prayer to God to spare the souls of those who made this.

  James dropped to his knees. Pain filled his soul. He lowered his head and closed his eyes. Lord, why? You saw this happen–

  “What are you doing?”

  “I'm praying,” said James somewhat grudgingly. He continued. You saw this happen, but allowed it anyway. I won't question your ways, Lord... Just tell me why. Show me.

  “We shouldn't be here,” warned Seth. James looked to where Seth saw a group approaching. There were some walking on foot and some in vehicles. “They're coming right for us.”

  “I see that,” said James. There was no need to discuss anything; James immediately stood and they darted away.

  The convoy was met with some hostility from people residing up in the buildings. The civilians helped them by slowing the troops long enough for them to retreat unnoticed. They did not take Lovejoy Street. Even James knew what was down there, and it was not just Isaac's former shelter. The troops had overrun the area, but were still stretched thin enough for the two to retreat further in to the city.

  “They're taking downtown back, one area at a time,” said Seth. “If the people don't keep pushing them back, we'll lose Portland completely. What's left of it, anyway.”

  “Seth, I honestly don't see how they are the enemy.”

  Seth stopped right in his tracks. “We aren't seriously doing this again?”

  “We're short on time,” James said, approaching Seth closely to talk more softly. “Now, I don't know what you've heard, but it doesn't sound to me like you've seen any of the things you've heard.”

  “Wow, James. Didn't think you had it in you to stand up to someone like this.”

  “I want what's best for all of us. If surrendering to the troops is a safe option, I want to make sure we take it. We don't know that they're the enemy, you just believe they are. Is that something you want to risk Mercy's life on? Rumors? If you really care about her, don't put her life at risk because you believe some rumors.”

  Seth looked like he was going to break James' nose. He turned, pulling on his hair for a moment before regaining composure. “Fine. We'll do it your way.” James breathed a sigh of relief. Seth added, however, “But if we're taken captive, or killed, that will be on you.”

  “I understand, Seth. We can't afford not to take risks anymore, though.”

  Seth inhaled deeply, then set out ahead of James, continuing in the same direction as before.

  The troops will be suspicious of us, no doubt, James thought. I trust them better than to just shoot us on sight. Seth believes this war began for a good reason. At least he's sure of himself...

  They walked up to the nearest street and turned right, headed in the direction of the military-civilian border. James caught a glimpse of what appeared to be where the troops established their zone. Exactly like in downtown, where the rebels walked armed on rooftops and fired on unsuspecting troops from the buildings, he saw the soldiers walking on rooftops as well and had constructed their own high points for snipers. Merely seeing it struck terror in him. He might be right, he thought, regarding what Seth had said.

  “Enemies or not, when we get there, we have to be careful. They could mistake us for-”

  Their path was cut short when they heard screams coming from the opposite direction. Both from a man and a woman, the latter screaming from fear. Seth reacted first, finding strength in himself as he sprinted toward them. James was right behind him. The woman's cries grew in despair, prompting the two to run ever harder.

  Coming around the bend, they saw a man throwing a woman to the ground. The man saw Seth and James coming for him, so he threw his victim into the nearby alley. “No you fucking don't!” growled Seth. James reached them as the man drew a knife. Seth body slammed the man. The knife dropped as Seth proceeded to pummel the man senseless. James secured the woman, standing between her and her assailant.

  Seth had delivered the final punch, forcing the man to stumble away in pain. Seth nearly pursued him further, but James called him off. Seth collected himself, cringing from the pain of his injuries, which were nothing more severe than bruises.

  “You alright?” James asked the woman.

  It took her a moment to answer. “I'm fine.” She was hyperventilating and shaking. James felt the urge to weep merely from seeing her so shaken. “Thank you both.”

  “Do you know that man? Will he come back for you?” Seth asked her.

  “No, I don't. I don't know him.”

  James folded his hands and stepped closer to her. He was intentionally slow with his movements so that she didn't feel threatened. At all costs, he did not want her to panic again. “Do you have shelter that we can walk you to?”

  His thoughts drifted to Candace and Mercy. What were we thinking, leaving them alone like that? One of us should have stayed behind. I should have...

  “...if that's okay with you,” she added.

  James' attention returned. He never lost eye contact with the girl but shamefully realized he hadn't listened to her reply. He was saved from humiliating himself when Seth said to her, “Yeah, that's fine. We'll walk you there.” He politely smiled as they began walking out of the alley.

  “What's your name?” he asked her.

  She paused. “Oh, it's Zoey.”

  Then, he recalled what she had said only moments before. “I have a camp close to here. I'm Zoey. I have friends there, but I'd like you guys to walk with me, if that's okay with you.” He hated himself for not paying attention, but his thoughts once again went to his wife back at their 'home.' The women were made invisible by walls, sheltered by a roof, and protected with a single gun, but something told James that was not enough. He remembered Mercy's words 'Don't think we can't defend ourselves because we're women'. But, of Candace, James thought, I need to protect you because I love you. You're never safe enough to me.

  For all he thought about Candace's safety, secondarily Mercy's too, he eventually told himself that it did not matter at that moment. He had helped rescue a stranger, but the job was not complete until she was back home, safe with her people. James heard Seth talking to her, asking her questions, but he could not f
ocus enough to participate in their conversation. 'Put them to the sword.' How could he forget those words? What was God's plan with all this? Why does God even need a plan? He's all-powerful...

  “Here it is,” said Zoey humbly. She had led them to a small hut made from scraps, on a street filled with such trash. Zoey and her friends had apparently taken several tents and made one large camp out of them.

  “Very out in the open,” said Seth. “Do you guys run into much trouble?”

  “Not really. Why?” asked Zoey.

  “Your camp's exposed and obvious. It's not safe to draw attention to yourself.”

  They stepped inside, where they found five others, all male. “Everyone tries to stay hidden, except us. We don't believe in hiding. This war means nothing if we don't have the freedom to be where we want.”

  James saw the men were tall and large, save for one, who wore spectacles and sniffled every few seconds. Why was she out on the streets alone if she has friends like these? James asked himself.

  “Who are these guys?” one of them asked.

  Zoey attempted to be formal, but she was still weak. “This is Seth and... James, is it?”

  James nodded. He felt the urge to offer her a place to sit and mentally recover.

  “She was attacked,” said Seth, speaking for them both. “We just wanted to make sure she got home safely.”

  The man hurried to Zoey, putting his hands on her shoulders. “Are you okay?”

  “I am now.”

  James saw her muster a smile, which prompted one from him, too. Zoey went to the boxes that they stored their food in. Among the canned items, some were also bagged. He thought he saw a few apples. “You guys hungry?”

  “Yes, ma'am,” said Seth without hesitation.

  James could not question Seth's lack of etiquette; it was understandable. At least pretend you don't want to deprive them of any of their food, he thought. “Only what you can spare,” he said, finding middle ground.

  “We got plenty t'spare,” said the bigger man. “Go on, eat up,” he said more to James than Seth.