Sanctuary

by Alan Janney

  My legs went a little numb so I sat down on one of the wooden chairs at our kitchen table. His words became harder to understand.

  “…okay.”

  “I monitor Tank’s text messages, just so you know. Anyway. The date is at his condo downtown, and he sent his parents out for the evening.”

  “Okay,” I said again. Breathing hurt. I was losing sensation in my fingertips. Tank was bringing Katie back to his empty condo tonight…

  “That means they’ll be at his place alone, dummy.”

  “I realize that, Puck.”

  “So Katie has been texting one of her friends. I monitor her texts too, by the way. Wow, PuckDaddy is really nosey. I digress. Katie has picked up on Tank’s hints that tonight will be…special, if you know what I mean.”

  “I do know what you mean. What’d she say?”

  “I mean, one of those special nights that couples have. Special and romantic. Right?”

  “YES Puck. I get it. What did Katie tell her friend?” I was close to hyperventilating. Too much oxygen. My head felt light.

  “Katie is conflicted. She’s excited about the date, but she doesn’t want to have sex until she’s married. She’s worried Tank will try, and she doesn’t know what will happen.”

  I made a noise that sounded like a whimper.

  “She says Tank is intoxicating and sometimes it’s hard to think straight.”

  I didn’t respond.

  “And she doesn’t want you to find out.”

  I slid off the chair and landed on the floor. The linoleum needed to be swept. I rested my forehead on the sink cabinet and closed my eyes.

  “Chase? You there, homie?”

  “Yes. I’m here.”

  “You okay? It’s hard to hear you.”

  “I kinda wish you hadn’t told me this. I want to die.”

  “Don’t say that. That’s not funny.”

  “I love her, Puck.”

  “I know! That’s why I’m telling you!”

  “What can I do? I told her how I felt. You can’t make people love you back.” I blinked away hot tears. “I wish I could. But he likes her and…she likes him.”

  “You’re talking like a loser. You’re not a loser! You’re the freaking Outlaw!”

  “So?”

  “What do you mean So?? What are you doing?”

  “Sitting on my kitchen floor.”

  “Get up!”

  “No.”

  “Get up! Get up Outlaw! I’m so pissed at you, you big idiot!”

  “Get up and do what?” I asked, but I obeyed. I stood up.

  “Fight! That enormous homicidal maniac declared WAR on the Outlaw, and Katie is the battlefield. Go fight!”

  I was quiet. I took deep breaths and tried to remember where I was, and who I was.

  I was shamelessly in love with Katie, and I didn’t care who knew. But there was a fine line between being in love and being a stalker. I couldn’t prevent her from living her life. I was the Outlaw, not a nuisance.

  However, this would be different if she’d chosen another guy. Another good guy. Then I’d just accept that I’d lost, another guy had won, and I’d try not to meddle. But she’d chosen Tank, a maniac with anger issues. And she didn’t know the truth about him.

  And no matter which guy she ended up with, I cared about her. And no matter which guy she ended up with…it couldn’t be Tank.

  “Chase? Hello??”

  “Puck.”

  “What?”

  “You’re wrong.”

  “What about?”

  “About two things. He didn’t declare war on the Outlaw. He declared war on me. This is Chase Jackson’s fight.”

  “And the other thing?”

  “Katie is not the battlefield. Katie is the prize.” My distorted reflection glared back at me from the stainless steel refrigerator. My laser vision would have burned a hole through our house if I was Superman. I was mad.

  “What are you going to do?”

  “Fight.”

  “Yeah baby!!”

  I checked my watch. Quarter till seven. “What time is the date?”

  “He picked her up fifteen minutes ago.”

  * * *

  I called Katie from the motorcycle. It rang a few times and went to voicemail. I accelerated to 95mph, passing cars in the emergency pull-off lane. Los Angeles would be elysian if not for the traffic.

  “What are you going to do?” Puck asked me again through the bluetooth headset in my ear.

  “Ring the doorbell and punch him in the nose.”

  “Negative. Abort. Not a good idea, dummy. Carter says he’s twice as strong as anyone else. Even you.”

  “I’m going to do it anyway.”

  My motorcycle slid to a stop across from Tank’s building, leaving a trail of rubber on the street. I parked directly beside the ATM where Natalie North had been mugged over a year ago. I checked my watch. Quarter after seven. I dropped my helmet onto the handle and jogged across the busy street.

  “PuckDaddy suggests an alternative strategy.”

  “Suggest all you want,” I said. I pushed into the quiet lobby. The floor was marble and the ceilings were high and the walls were whitewashed. The doorman was busy sorting packages with two different tenants. Tank and I had destroyed part of a house during our last wrestling match; it’d be a shame to damage this place. Plus, it would make Natalie North sad. “Make it quick.”

  “Pull the fire alarm.”

  Hm. That wasn’t a bad idea. It would save me a fistfight, and interrupt the romance. But…

  “Won’t their date resume after it’s verified as a false alarm?”

  “Maybe? I don’t know.”

  “Can you work your computer magic to trigger the alarm?” I was spinning in a circle, looking for the red fire alarm box.

  “Negative. It’s an old building with a closed system. I can make the fire station think the alarm was triggered, but that wouldn’t alert people within the building. The date would continue.”

  “Okay. I see the box. I could go to jail for this, right?”

  “Technically. But PuckDaddy is your guardian angel. I’m watching you on the monitors right now, and deleting all the data. When they check the digital tape for a culprit, they’ll find nothing.”

  “I think I’m just going to knock his teeth in. That would feel better. Plus, it might impress Katie.”

  “No! Chase. He’ll murder you. My plan is better. Trust PuckDaddy.”

  “I dunno.” Several other people entered the lobby, and the noise ricocheted around the cavernous room.

  “Know what else I can do?” Keyboard clicks were loud in my ear. “PuckDaddy can make the fire department think the alarm originated within Tank’s condo and at the lobby. He might get in trouble.”

  “Bingo! Let’s do that. Ready?”

  “Hell yeah, homie!”

  I strode to the red alarm next to the mailboxes and yanked on the small white handle. The safety glass broke and an awful horn began wailing. Above us, a brilliant white light flashed. Pandemonium ensued and the building emptied.

  Fifteen minutes later, I was waiting outside with everyone else while firemen checked the building. They parked their giant truck in the middle of the street, diverting traffic and nearly crushing my bike. A small crowd formed to witness the excitement and I hid within it. Nearby, Katie and Tank stood together. Katie was hugging herself and Tank towered over everyone, clearly frustrated, hands shoved into his pockets. Zero romance. Hah! An official-looking man with a badge on his chest began questioning Tank, and soon Tank’s parents arrived, and everyone was gesturing in confusion.

  After forty-five minutes, Katie was embarrassed and bored, and I caught her eye. She did a double-take. I winked and disappeared into the audience.

  “Puck, you are brilliant.”

  “Thanks, Outlaw.”

  “You probably just cracked the top five on my Best Friend List.”

  “…that’s the nicest thing anyone’s e
ver said to me.”

  I caught sight of her from a different angle. She was smiling and shaking her head, searching the crowd. She appeared…pleased.

  She knew. And she wasn’t angry.

  I said, “I want to respond to the Chemist’s recent letter.”

  “Um, okay. Puck thought we were having a moment, but whatever. You might have ADD. What do you want to say?”

  “Ask him why Katie was able to block my aneurysms and insanity.”

  “Huh?”

  I peeked around another corner. Her romantic date was over, from the looks of it. Night had fallen and Tank was in trouble with his parents and the fire chief. I continued, “Don’t use Katie’s name, obviously. But I want to know why Katie relieved my pain and headaches when she touched me. Do you remember? My headaches were so bad I couldn’t function, and I was having regular aneurysms. But they went away when she touched me. The Chemist said I could ask him anything. That’s what I want to know.”

  Puck sent the message. And the Chemist replied.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Saturday, October 10. 2018

  My carefree childhood was long gone, but I’ll remember Friday and Saturday as golden halcyon days for as long as I live. Which could potentially be hundreds of years.

  I was selected for Homecoming Court. I discovered this on Friday, the day of our Homecoming game. (I missed the announcement at school due to a tiger mauling, and everyone assumed I knew.)

  “I told you,” Katie said, when I expressed my shock, “but you were off in la-la land. It was all over the internet. Don’t you check social media anymore?”

  I didn’t. Who had time? Katie was voted onto the court too. She got the nerd vote, she explained.

  I nodded. “And the super-hot vote.”

  She smiled and laughed, exactly as an angel would.

  I continued, “And the dating-a-stupid-moron vote.”

  She stopped smiling.

  To our great shock and delight, Lee was voted in too. His Morning Show hijinks had rocketed him into the upper levels of high school hierarchy.

  “Of course I was voted in, bro. I got the math and science vote. Plus, I’m a god in Outlawyer circles. Where you been?”

  That night, I forgot all about the coronation ceremony. We were winning 24-7 at half-time and I marched down the tunnel with all the other football players. The pageant coordinator came scurrying to our locker room, squawking and sweating, and she hurried me back onto the field with the other nominees.

  I was paired with my old friend Erica. A year ago I anonymously recovered a ruby locket for her, and used the reward to pay for Dad’s physical therapy. She’d been friends with Hannah Walker, and had ascended onto the Hidden Spring’s throne of popularity after Hannah died.

  Katie and Lee were paired, both exuberant, though Lee tried to mask his excitement with Ray-Bans.

  We paraded to the middle of the football field as the stadium roared and thundered. Erica and I found our mat and clapped during the proceedings. Her hand returned to rest on my arm and her fingers shook. Katie stood ten feet away, but I could hear her heart beating. Above the trumpets and awards and screaming, her pulse throbbed pleasantly in my ears.

  The announcer proclaimed Erica and Lee Homecoming Queen and King. The unlikely couple went to receive their crowns as the band played and the audience cheered, and I abandoned my mat. I grabbed Katie’s hand and stood beside her. Neither of us cared about winning. She beamed and her heart quickened and mine did too, and that will forever be my favorite moment under the lights of a football field.

  * * *

  Tank was grounded. How sublime is that?? He’d been scheduled to make a scandalous appearance at our Homecoming Dance, guaranteed to create an uproar, but his parents punished him for having Katie over without approval and for pulling the fire alarm.

  I laughed continuously for ten minutes when I heard. So did Puck.

  I attended the dance wearing the same vest as last year. Katie wore a new sparkly teal dress that displayed her fantastic legs, and a thin diamond-pendant necklace. We met in the middle of the floor, along with Cory and Lee and Samantha and Croc. We danced, and hopped, and whipped, and cha-cha’ed, and backed it up and laughed the whole night, like best friends should. Samantha danced terribly and glowered at the exits, which she called a tactical nightmare.

  Around 10pm, Samantha and Croc vanished, and Cory and Lee were claimed by their admirers, leaving Katie and me alone for the slow dances. Just the two of us in a private universe, our sky full of starlight from the disco ball and camera flashes. No words, just our bodies pressed as close as we could, fingers entwined, her forehead resting against my chin and lips, and we both trembled and held tight.

  * * *

  The romance of the evening dissolved her resistance. We both knew it, and we both surrendered to the magic. She was wild and carefree, and she was mine for the night.

  At one in the morning, I drove her home in my dad’s car. I burned and ached for her. She leaned against me, expectantly and perfectly during the trip. The planet slowed, the moon froze, the angels held their breath, all watching, all waiting as the night drew to a climax, hot and hopeful. The car ride was deafening with silent communication and longings.

  My heart was a hammer as we walked to her front door. My adrenaline seethed and my shoes shrunk, my sleeves grew shorter, and the shirt tightened across my chest. Her door never looked so scary, the welcome mat a land-mine ready to incinerate our platonic friendship. We couldn’t look at each other, couldn’t speak, couldn’t breathe. Her sidewalk kept getting longer, torturing me as I brainstormed for words.

  We almost made it to the door.

  I loved her. I needed her. I tugged on her hand, halting our stroll. No words. She knew. She flew into my arms, her mouth on mine. I’d wanted to kiss her for months, years, forever, but her lips were better than fantasy. Her face pushed against mine, my arms crushed her waist, her fingers in my hair, and we eagerly forgot everything else.

  It was good. It was so good. It was Katie and she was everything and she wanted me too.

  Her hands pulled me harder against her, walking us backwards to her apartment, and we bumped against her door. Arms around my neck. Nobody would wake up; we were urgent and eager but we were silent.

  Too soon, she placed both hands on my cheeks and pushed me away. “Chase…”

  “Katie,” I panted.

  “I shouldn’t.” Her eyes pooled immediately. “No..I…I can’t…it’s just the night, and you look so good, and…I can’t…and…I’m so sorry…”

  “Katie. I’m in love with you. I’m yours.”

  She covered my mouth with her fingers, a sob escaped, and she said, “I can’t. I can’t…I can’t, I can’t…”

  And she disappeared behind the front door.

  But she didn’t stay long. Fifteen minutes later I crawled into my bed, overwhelmed by an arcane mixture of euphoria and frustration. I had barely settled under the sheet when I heard her familiar footfalls padding up my driveway. My ears perked. She let herself in with our secret key, softly slipped up the stairs, snuck into my bedroom, and then she was kissing me again.

  “Yes I can. Yes I can,” she moaned against my mouth. She’d changed into her pajamas, and she stretched herself on top of me. Her lips brushed mine with each word. “Yes I can. I want to kiss you, and I will. But not yet. I can’t yet.”

  “Now.”

  “I’m sorry I missed your birthday,” she said and she started drizzling kisses down my cheek and onto my neck.

  “My birthday? When?”

  “Yesterday, you big oaf.”

  “Really? Are you sure? What’s today?”

  Her lips found mine again. “I love you, Chase. I’m so in love with you. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, or why it’s taken so long. I love you so much I can’t sleep.”

  My heart swelled to bursting, and hot tears began scalding down my skin. We both smiled so big that she spoke from the corner of her mouth
.

  “I respect you more than any man I’ve ever met, and you’re perfect, and I love you and I want you.” She was whispering and we were both breathless. I tried to sit up but she wouldn’t let me. “You’re the only thing I think about all day. I can’t yet, though. I can’t kiss you yet,” she said, even though her lips pulled on mine with each syllable. “I can’t kiss you yet. I want to. Oh gosh, how I want to. But I’m not like that. I need to break up with that other guy first, before I kiss you.”

  “That’s a great idea. He’s so dumb.”

  “I can’t believe how good this feels,” she groaned and then I was kissing her ear and neck and shoulder. I wanted her in every way a person can want another. Her thin silver necklace kept falling into my mouth. “I can’t believe how big you are.” She was whispering between gasps. “You take up the whole bed. You didn’t look this big at my house. And your muscles…”

  We were silent for several minutes, enjoying each other, pretending she wasn't kissing me.

  “Okay.” She sighed and slid away from me. “Okay. I have to go before things get out of hand and we start making out.”

  “This isn’t making out?”

  “No.”

  “That was definitely making out.”

  “Chase, my mom would kill you if we were making out.”

  “What would she do if she heard you say you want me?” I grinned.

  “I don’t mean sex!”

  “Keep your voice down! And it sure sounds like you mean sex.”

  “No way,” she whisper-shouted. “I’ve never had sex!”

  “Me either.”

  “You and Hannah…never…?”

  “Remember when you and I were little? We said not until after marriage.”

  “But we were little kids then. Our parents told us we had to wait.”

  “Yeah, but I meant it.”

  She breathed out with her eyes closed. “I don’t know why. But that’s sooooo hot.”

  “Then let’s Not Make Out more.”

  “No! I can’t. It’s not fair to you, not while I’m technically someone else’s girlfriend. But I won’t be for much longer. Then I’m all yours.”