The Seeker

by Kingsley L Dennis

  Eli shook his head, and then wagged his finger over at Sorrel. ‘The world is a nightmare, and we are living its perversion. Its right in the middle of its own nightmare and it will keep reliving it if we don’t play our part. We’re in a space where nothing can be true if we don’t face our own deceptions. You are deceived – you deceive yourself!’ Eli’s voice had suddenly begun to rise.

  ‘You must follow your body, it is the only thing that knows, that truly wants to live in this mind-deadened world.’

  ‘Sssh, be quiet Eli, you’ll wake Jana.’

  At that moment a young girl with long blonde hair emerged from behind a curtain.

  ‘Are you okay, mummy?’

  ‘Yes, dear, everything is fine. Your mum’s friend is just leaving’

  TWENTY

  A light rain had begun to fall. The copse at the far corner of Spring had shed its leaves and now stood as a symbol of sterility. Jacob was sure he was not the only one who would see the shedding of nature as a sign of renewal and rejuvenation. No doubt, he thought, Eli and his followers would see this as part of the recycling philosophy they were seemingly so taken with. Jacob wondered whether Spring, in becoming a closed community, was turning away from the belief in the coming of the eschaton. Not long after the Great Turning the phrase of immanentize the eschaton began to appear on people’s lips. It had almost immediately sprung up within Jacob, as if it had been buried within him awaiting its birth. Not long after that the Seekers began to appear. And then news of Nous-City soon spread, and faith in the coming of the eschaton flamed peoples’ hope. There was chatter that this new hope would unite the planet globally, in one shared spirit of truth. Divided religions that once peddled monopolies on the truth fell into further fragmentation. Disbelief fuelled some of the anarchy after the Great Turning. Then it seemed that the immanence of the eschaton could, and would, bring humankind into unity.

  Jacob looked around at the agricultural settlement. Hope was dearly needed here – a hope that would not serve to further divide the people. There were good people here in this place, he felt that. Many of them had welcomed him and had accepted a Seeker amongst their midst. There were also those who remained suspicious of his presence, and avoided contact with him. That was normal though, and Jacob casually accepted it as a part of human nature. All morning he had been working alongside Bryleigh doing some general maintenance. He preferred this to working in the fields as he enjoyed Bryleigh’s company. Yet Jacob was willing to do any work asked of him. It was, after all, his true work to be in service to others along the way, until his personal pilgrimage was complete.

  Jacob walked alongside Bryleigh as they headed back from the storage building. As they walked, hands dirty from the morning repair work, they passed the usual two-man security teams on patrol. Jacob glanced briefly at Bryleigh yet said nothing.

  Bryleigh nodded, understanding the subtle gesture. ‘Yeah, they’re part of the fixture. They come with the territory, as they say. Like ‘em or loath ‘em, we need security in Spring.’

  ‘You get raiders?’ Jacob’s tone was flat, neutral.

  ‘We have done; mostly in the days before. It’s kinda settled down now. Truth is, we’re getting more trouble from the inside now than from without.’ Bryleigh sighed.

  ‘Unrest?’

  ‘More like boredom, I’d say. Again, it’s just human nature. Put us all together in a small space and squeeze on the pressure. What d’you expect?’

  ‘Yes.’

  Jacob said nothing else until they arrived at the door of Bryleigh’s dwelling.

  ‘I am a Seeker. My name is Jacob. I come in service. I come to purify me for the preparation. I come in peace.’

  ‘Yes, yes, I know all of that! Don’t worry yourself with ceremony here, Seeker.’ Meryl, Bryleigh’s wife, ushered them both into the dwelling with a cheery smile. ‘It’s just a humble place here, Seeker. Yet it’s fine for the two of us. We don’t have any complaints, do we dear?’

  Bryleigh shook his head in agreement and gave Meryl a kiss on the cheek. ‘No, my dear. We live well and good here, thanks to your sweet self.’

  Meryl giggled. Jacob noticed she was of cheerful disposition, and her stout body was as if it carried waves of kindness within it. She looked of similar age as Bryleigh, of late middle-age, and was almost as ruddy.

  ‘Come on,’ said Bryleigh as he gestured for Jacob to be seated. Their dwelling was homely, with many ceramic pots, bowls, and similar hand-crafted objects positioned around the interior. Meryl noticed Jacob’s wandering eye.

  ‘Aye, Bryleigh has a deft hand for most things, when he has the time. He loves to tinker, and put things together.’ Meryl smiled proudly at her husband.

  ‘Hard times call for sweet things to be squeezed from small moments of time.’ Bryleigh sat down beside Jacob and winked.

  Meryl placed a large pot of steaming soup in the middle of the table and served three bowls.

  ‘No children?’ asked Jacob softly. Bryleigh glanced over at Meryl.

  ‘I have many children, but none that are my own,’ replied Meryl.

  ‘What my dear wife means to say is that we don’t have any children ourselves, but Meryl is head of the school here. And so she feels like she’s the mother of them all.’

  Meryl beamed back at the two men.

  ‘And you, Seeker. Did you have a family before you became a Seeker?’

  Jacob paused, as if trying to catch a fleeting whisper within. ‘I’m not sure I can even remember a time before I was a Seeker. I think I’ve always been one. There is nothing else in my memory. So no, no family.’

  Bryleigh and Meryl sipped on their hot vegetable soup, seemingly enjoying their slurping.

  ‘Well, it’s all okay.’ Meryl smiled over at Jacob. ‘Families are family, whether there are children or not. It’s love that makes a family. We couldn’t have children. Maybe it was something similar for you. As long as you’re happy in yourself, right?’

  Jacob smiled over at Meryl. She had the country folk aspect to her, which pleased Jacob. He had only taken a few sips of the warm soup, his hand moving slowly to his mouth.

  ‘I don’t know how one can understand it. There is no before, or after, just the present seeking. I cannot remember a time when it was asked for. It was just there from my earliest knowing. People talk about this and that; about the end of the world, the Great Turning. For me, there has always only been one thing. And it’s always been a thirst. People talk about how to do this or that, yet no one talks about how to be thirsty. To be thirsty is just a way of being. And if you are thirsty then the river comes to you. If you are not thirsty, the river does not exist. That thirst is just something very pure. And it calls out for more. And it pulls you along with an energy you’ve never experienced before. It drags you, and you must move with it, or you feel it will tear off your limbs if you don’t. It’s a great force. We cannot understand it, it just happens. I didn’t choose to be a Seeker – it chose me.’

  Bryleigh put his hand on Jacob’s shoulder. ‘And that’s all there is to it. Everything finds its place, my friend. And that’s that.’

  Jacob thanked Bryleigh and Meryl for their kind hospitality, and left the dwelling. He had enjoyed their company, their humour and acceptance. In some places, Jacob realized, a stranger is neither strange nor outside. Although, in truth, such places were hard to find.

  Before Jacob left, he had accepted Meryl’s invitation and promised to visit the school shortly. The young children, he was told, would be fascinated to hear his tales. He must speak to them, Meryl had insisted. He simply must.

  21

  Kaine-3 was speaking with Gaius-5, the head technician of the Triangle Zone, when his sensor bleeped. It was an emergency call. Kaine-3 excused himself from the conversation and found a quiet spot where he could speak without being overheard. He opened his personal, direct communication channel.

  ‘Is there a problem, Zuse-1?’

  ‘A surprising anomaly - one of our brethren has gone
missing.’

  ‘Missing? Do you mean they have left the city?’

  ‘No, Kaine-3, that would not be possible. The exits remain secure. The last contact we had with them was in one of the service corridors in the Square Zone.’

  ‘The missing individual is an industrial or maintenance worker?’

  ‘Correct, Kaine-3.’

  ‘Identity?’

  ‘Thebe-19.’

  Kaine-3 checked through his portable database.

  ‘Yes, low-key worker. No suspicious activity; regular attendance to communal meditations. No noted psychic development. And Thebe-19 cannot be located in the city system?’

  ‘That is correct. He is not detected.’

  ‘Then we must assume in all likelihood that he made an unauthorized access into one of the maintenance shafts. There are no sensors in these regions.’

  ‘Yet they lead nowhere?’

  ‘The maintenance shafts are secure. They do not lead to the perimeter; the only exits are back into service corridors. It is possible Thebe-19 had a mishap and remains in the shaft.’

  ‘We should not be having mishaps in Nous-City. And unauthorized access is not in our program. I shall report this to DOC.’

  ‘Yes, Zuse-1. And what shall we do about Thebe-19?’

  ‘We shall wait for his return. He is going nowhere.’

  Kaine-3 returned back to where he had been speaking with Gaius-5. They had been discussing the final details on the solar energy needs for the Triangle Zone. Each of the zones had their own water recycling systems and botanical gardens. Each zone was self-sufficient, although specialized in its services. Communal areas were important and integral to each zone. Only sleeping cells were individualized; all the rest was shared with the community. The Central Communal Meditation Chamber was the heart of each zone, where inhabitants came on a regular basis to meditate upon their preparation.

  The brethren of Nous-City knew they were vessels. Their bodies were for grounding to the earth, and to receive the immanence. The next revelation upon the planet had to be through matter becoming spiritualized. Nous-City held those few who knew the future would come through them.

  TWENTY-TWO

  Prentis was leaning against the door frame, chewing on some small stick between his teeth. It was a pose he affected often, thinking it gave him presence. Prentis was a strongly built man, but his presence was only a physical one. He was watching Eli position some of the benches ahead of his upcoming talk. Prentis refused to refer to Eli’s preaching as sermons. As far as Prentis was concerned, Eli was about as religious as a born-again field mouse. Prentis made sure that Eli knew his views, just to be clear on the matter. Eli, for his part, made sure that Prentis knew that he couldn’t care less what he thought. And that was why both men knew where each of them stood, which made their odd friendship all the stronger for it. Yet they also both knew that there were people in Spring who relied on Eli’s preaching to give them comfort and hope in these times. And people who were comfortable were easier to manage, which kept Prentis happy.

  ‘Another lot coming in soon?’

  Eli didn’t even bother to look up at Prentis. ‘The faithful are soon to arrive, if that’s what you mean.’

  ‘More or less. Call it what you will. What you gonna tell them this time – that they need to work harder? Wish you would!’ Prentis grunted at his own joke.

  Eli continued with his preparations, seemingly nonplussed at Prentis’s jibes.

  ‘You still getting all the pretty girls turning up here for your dandy words?’ Prentis peered over at Eli, watching carefully how his remark landed.

  Eli casually shrugged. ‘Some come when they find my words comforting.’

  ‘And do you comfort them?’ asked Prentis tauntingly.

  ‘I am just a vessel. I allow the faith to use me, and to comfort others.’

  Prentis sneered. ‘Vessel, my arse. We both know what you get up to. I wouldn’t mind offering to give comfort too, I’m just saying. Y’know, if there’s ever a vacancy and the need arises in one of your pretty followers.’ Prentis winked over at Eli, who pretended he didn’t notice. ‘Anyway,’ he continued, ‘where would you be without your faith? You’d have to invent something else if you didn’t have it.’

  Eli looked up. ‘There is always faith,’ he said. ‘In each of us, in every person there is faith, even if we don’t know it. You take that how you will. And I’ll take it my way.’

  ‘Well, you’ve certainly managed to convince a whole lot of folk here that your way is the way,’ replied Prentis with a sneer.

  ‘People need direction, that’s all.’

  Prentis walked over to where Eli was now arranging his notes. His large physical body came close to touching Eli’s fragile, thin frame. Eli could smell the homemade alcohol upon his breath.

  ‘You should be careful. You know Zachary doesn’t want people drinking in Spring.’ Eli tried to sound friendly, although his tone was dry and flat.

  ‘I’m the one who pushes the law around here. Zachary is just an old man. He’s weak, and you should remember who you’ll need to cover your back when it’s time. Have faith in that, brother.’ Prentis backed away as the first of the congregation began to enter the hall.

  Eli watched Prentis swagger out of the door, and slowly shook his head. He knew he had to be more careful with his dealings in Spring. The less Prentis knew, the better things would be.

  TWENTY-THREE

  Johan was chatting away excitedly with his friends. Seven young boys, all around the same age, were sitting at the table in Johan’s dwelling. They were waiting for the Seeker to arrive. Zachary had decided it would be best for them all to meet in his house, as a gathering in public might arouse unnecessary suspicion. Yet neither did Zachary wish for a secret meeting between the Seeker and the boys. Spring was a small settlement, despite its physical size. There was no outside space that would offer privacy from curious folk. Spring survived day after day because it maintained its regular routine. It was this much-needed normalcy that shielded its inhabitants from the uncertainty that lay beyond the perimeters. To protect this practical ordinariness Zachary had agreed to host the meeting in his own dwelling, where others would not pry.

  It was early afternoon and the autumn sky was melding into cold amber hues. Jacob had gone out after lunch to help Bryleigh with some issues. He had agreed to come back when the children were home from school, to meet Johan and his friends. It was agreed to be just a casual meeting. Jacob was uncertain over what they would expect of him. He reasoned that the boys wanted to hear about life on the outside, in the bigger world. Or perhaps they wanted to know about life as a Seeker. Perhaps they too had unknown longings within them.

  The boys were still chatting around the table as Jacob entered the dwelling. He nodded to Zachary, and took for himself a glass of water. Johan ran up to him and held out his hand.

  ‘Hi, Seeker. Thank you for agreeing to speak with us here.’

  Jacob smiled. The dwelling was the place where he stayed, yet he knew Johan wanted to sound formal in front of his friends. ‘That’s okay Johan. You know I like talking to you. Who are your friends?’

  Johan introduced the other boys as Ash, Moss, Rio, Oleander (who preferred to be called Olly), Kai, and Salix (or rather Sal). They all looked of similar age, and only their hair colour, and physical build separated them at first in Jacob’s mind. He wanted to see them as individual young boys, yet they came to his mind as a collective. Jacob took a chair that was offered to him and sat at the table. Zachary excused himself and moved off into another room. The candles inside the dwelling had already been lit.

  All the boys were now quiet, as if waiting for their collective mouthpiece to speak.

  Johan smiled, and spoke first. ‘Seeker, do we have a future?’

  Jacob cleared his throat as gently as he could. ‘I wouldn’t be a Seeker if I didn’t feel we had a future.’

  ‘But a future for us! Not just for Seekers. We need to know if we have
a future – us children!’

  Jacob saw the sincere look in Johan’s eyes. He looked at the other boys, who all similarly expressed such a look each in their own unique way as if sharing the same anguish through seven faces.

  ‘I can only speak for myself,’ replied Jacob. ‘What I can say to you is from my own understanding. It is my truth, but nothing more.’

  The boys nodded their heads to show that they understood. That was why they were here, to listen to the words of the Seeker, knowing that what came from his mouth were only his words.

  ‘There has to be a future,’ continued Jacob. ‘And that means for you especially. You are the future – the future generations. When the eschaton is immanentized here on Earth, this will then come through you and bring you into the future.’

  ‘But will we be prepared, Seeker? Is not this what all Seekers are doing, preparing to be the channels for the eschaton?’

  ‘Yes, it is true. The purpose of being a Seeker is not to be what people imagine it should be, but to help in the attainment of our real destiny on this planet. This is to prepare the way for the coming eschaton – to bring the divine spirit into this world. We will then rise from the ashes like a fiery phoenix bird, and help bring a new era into being.’

  All the boys gasped as if in unison; as if their mouths were reaching for extra air in that immediate moment.

  Again, Johan spoke for the group. ‘And then we will work with this new era…to move forward?’

  Jacob nodded. ‘I feel this is so. Whatever is coming, it needs help to manifest in the world. The spirit has to come through us, the people, into existence on this planet. That is why the Seekers are making themselves ready through the pilgrimage - to be prepared to channel this new energy. Then when it has arrived…well, I guess then its over to you young people. Yet do you not feel this – this destiny?’

  This time it was Olly who spoke. ‘We think we feel it, but all the elders seem pessimistic. They tell us the future will be hard, very hard for us. They make it sound like it’s not worth it. And yet we all feel something different – that it’s not going to be like that.’