Between Heaven and Earth

by Michele Paige Holmes

  Doris Kendall didn’t know anything. “Thank you for briefing me.” Cassie scribbled a few more words— angry, venomous, spiteful, and she wasn’t referring to Austin— before setting her pen down and standing on the other side of her desk. She looked down at Austin first and attempted to make her voice the right mix of kind and authoritative. She couldn’t bear the thought of making him feel worse, but she also had to convince Mrs. Kendall that justice would be served.

  “You may sit on that bench.” Cassie pointed to the long wood bench that backed Principal Garrett’s wall. When Austin did not move because he was still fettered by Mrs. Kendall’s fist around his collar, Cassie then fixed a stiff expression on her face and stared pointedly at Mrs. Kendall until she released him.

  “Principal Garrett is currently in a meeting, but I will pass this information onto him and see that this issue is resolved as soon as possible.” It was a good thing he had left his light on again. It shone through the cracks of his closed blinds, giving the impression that someone was in his office. With a little luck, Doris would think his meeting was there, when in reality, he was at the superintendent’s office and expected to be there the remainder of the school day.

  “I’m sure your other students must need you,” Cassie said gently. “You wouldn’t want to have valuable time go to waste.” Doris was also known for giving children only ninety seconds to use the bathroom, anything more than that being a frivolous waste of time.

  “I’ve left them with an assignment,” Mrs. Kendall stated and showed no sign of going anywhere. “They know they must complete it, or else.”

  No doubt or else involved some over-the-top form of punishment. Terrorized in the first grade. No wonder kids hated school.

  “Very well.” Cassie returned to her seat and tried to refocus her attention on the grant application while inside she was seething.

  “How long do you suppose Mr. Garrett will be?” Doris asked when a minute or two had passed. She hadn’t sat down but remained standing before Cassie’s desk, her arms folded, eyes narrowed, and lips puckered like she’d been sucking on one of those sour candies Noah liked.

  “His meeting just started.” That much was the truth. “It could be quite some time before he is available.” Like tomorrow.

  “Perhaps I’ll just take this student back to class and give him consequences there.”

  Oh no, you won’t. Cassie raised her head to meet Mrs. Kendall’s gaze, then leaned forward to whisper, as if she didn’t want Austin to hear. “Do you really think that wise? In such a clear cut case of prejudice? You wouldn’t want something else to happen in your classroom, would you?”

  Mrs. Kendall looked from Austin to the door and appeared to be considering her options.

  “I assure you, this office believes in justice, and consequences are designed to fit the crime.” Cassie prayed she wasn’t terrifying Austin any more than he already was. But getting Doris out of the picture was the first step to helping him.

  “All right then,” Mrs. Kendall said at last. “I’ll trust you to do your job and apprise Mr. Garrett of the situation.”

  “I promise,” Cassie said, her face as grim as she felt. Mr. Garrett was absolutely going to hear about this.

  As soon as the door closed behind Mrs. Kendall, Cassie jumped up and ran around her desk. She knelt in front of Austin so she was closer to his level— if he would just lift his head to look at her, that is.

  Cassie placed her hand gently on his arm. “I didn’t realize you go to school here, Austin. I’m so happy to know that, and I’m so sorry you are in Mrs. Kendall’s class. We’re going to try to change that tomorrow, okay?”

  He didn’t respond, so Cassie stood, ready to move onto plan B to get him talking. She opened the door connecting to the teacher’s lounge.

  “Be right back,” she said to Austin, then hurried through the lounge to the far door which led to the front office. Cassie poked her head through the doorway and caught her coworker’s eye.

  “Gloria, can you cover my phone for the next hour or so while I take care of a situation with a student?”

  “Sure.” Gloria’s brows rose. “Are you all right? Need any help?”

  “I’m fine.” Cassie inhaled, taking a calming breath and pasting a smile on her face. “But Mrs. Kendall may not be after this latest incident.”

  Gloria mouthed an O, then wished Cassie good luck as she returned to the teacher’s lounge. She went to the freezer and retrieved two of the popsicles reserved for kids who got hurt or were sad or having an especially bad day. She felt pretty confident Austin met the criteria for all three.

  Popsicles in hand, Cassie returned to Austin, still sitting outside of Principal Garrett’s office.

  “Come on.” she held her hand out to him. “I’ve got some ice cream bars for us, but we’d better eat them in the other room in case anyone else comes in.” In case Doris comes back.

  She opened the door to Principal Garrett’s office, then waited until Austin slid from his chair and shuffled after her.

  Once he was inside, Cassie closed the door behind them and clicked the lock. “You can leave anytime you want to.” She showed Austin how turning the knob released the lock and opened the door. “But I’m locking this so no one can interrupt us. Okay?” The principal’s office wasn’t exactly what most children would classify as a safe environment, but it was the best she could do for now. If she hoped for any kind of communication from him, he had to feel that no one— particularly Mrs. Kendall— would bother them.

  Cassie arranged two chairs facing each other and sat in one. “Orange creamsicle or fudge bar?” She held both out to Austin, hoping she wouldn’t have to wait until each started dripping before he gave his answer.

  “Chocolate,” he said after a few seconds. Cassie picked up his hand, turned it over and placed the fudge bar on his palm. “Good choice. I like those, too. But then, I don’t think I’ve ever had ice cream I didn’t like.” She leaned back in her chair and tore the top of the wrapper off of the creamsicle. “You can sit if you want.”

  Austin stood for probably another minute, holding the fudge bar and not moving. Cassie took a bite of hers. “Mmm. This is perfect on a warm afternoon. Would you like me to open yours?”

  He nodded, so Cassie took it, tore off the wrapper, and handed it back to him. As Austin’s small fingers gripped the stick, she felt a pinch of sadness in her heart for the motherless boy. Dads were great. Heaven knew she wished Noah could be with his. But sometimes men missed children’s cues that moms seemed to pick up on intuitively. Did Matt understand why Austin had been acting out? Other than in the vague sense of it relating to his mother’s death? Had Matt taken the time, over ice cream, to talk it out with his son? And more importantly, to listen? Silently, Cassie prayed to know the right things to say and do, to help Austin endure this latest hurt.

  “First,” she began by sounding upbeat instead of dire. What he’d done was wrong, but it also wasn’t unforgiveable. “I want you to know that Principal Garrett is not a mean man. He is very kind, and he really likes children.” Unlike your teacher. “He isn’t here right now and won’t be back at school today, but tomorrow he will want to talk to you about what happened in Mrs. Kendall’s classroom. If you would like, I can be with you when you talk to him.”

  Austin nodded, then stepped sideways and sidled into the chair across from her. Cassie noticed his fudge bar starting to drip and snagged a couple of tissues from the box on Mr. Garrett’s desk. She handed these to Austin.

  “Better hurry and eat that— unless you like ice cream soup.”

  “Ice cream soup?” He lifted his head to look at her.

  “Never heard of it?” she asked. “Noah and I have it for dinner sometimes— when the ice cream we buy at the store melts before we can get it home, and we’re too impatient to try to freeze it again. But it’s not very good.” She added the last in a whisper and as an incentive for Austin to take a bite. It worked. Cassie finished her own treat, tossed th
e stick in the trash and waited silently until Austin had finished the fudge bar.

  She took his stick and threw it away as well. At the ice cream parlor, he’d been the neatest eater of the three boys, but today chocolate lingered around the sides of his mouth. It reminded Cassie just how young six really was, especially for all he’d had to deal with. “Feeling a little better now, I hope?”

  Austin shrugged again.

  “Well, I feel better,” Cassie said. “Ice cream has a way of cooling people off, and I’m not just talking about our tongues. I was pretty hot, pretty angry, with Mrs. Kendall when she brought you in my office, holding your collar like that. I wanted to jump up and shout at her and push her away from you, but that would have made me just as mean as she was, and I don’t want to be mean.” Cassie waited a heartbeat to try to gauge if Austin was listening. “But while I was eating my ice cream, I had time to cool off and think a little more. Now I feel better, and I’m really glad that I didn’t lose my temper.”

  “I did.” Austin looked down at his legs, swinging back and forth, not quite touching the floor.

  “You’re right,” Cassie said, “and that wasn’t the best thing to do. It’s kind of the same thing that happened when you pushed Noah at the soccer game, isn’t it?”

  Austin nodded. “But it isn’t fair that Bradley gets two moms, when I don’t have even one anymore.”

  “I agree. It isn’t fair, and I can see how you’d feel angry and hurt by what Bradley said.” Cassie leaned forward, elbow on her crossed legs, chin in her hand. “But did you ever think that maybe it isn’t always easy for Bradley to have two moms?”

  “What do you mean?” Austin’s forehead bunched as he looked up at her again.

  “Well…” Cassie tried to think of the best way to explain it. “Having two moms can mean a lot of things. Maybe Bradley’s parents are divorced, which means they aren’t married and living together anymore. It would be like your mom living in one house, and your dad living in another, and you couldn’t be with both of them at once. And then maybe your dad married someone else, so you had a new mom. So when it was Moms and Muffins day, you wouldn’t know who to bring, and maybe they both wanted to come.”

  “I’d bring my first mom,” Austin said, clearly missing the point.

  “All right,” Cassie said. “Or maybe Bradley has two moms and no dad. That’s how some families are these days.” Trying to explain that to a six-year-old was difficult. At least Austin wasn’t old enough to understand the anatomy of being parents and question how that worked without a dad. “Watch and see if Bradley brings his dad for Dads and Donuts. In fact, I want you to notice all of the kids in first grade that day and count how many don’t have a dad to bring.” Cassie estimated that at least a fourth of the kids at school didn’t have a dad in their lives, Noah included.

  She had sudden inspiration, remembering what Austin himself had said over their shared hamburger at the hospital cafeteria a couple of weeks ago. “You know, you can bring someone else to Moms and Muffins. It’s not the same as having your real mom there, but it might be better than being alone.”

  “My grandma’s in Oregon. She came with me to my other school last year, after my mom died.”

  “You could borrow Noah’s grandma,” Cassie suggested. “Remember you met her at the game last week? It could be kind of the same as when you offered to share your dad with Noah.”

  “Maybe.” Austin’s legs continued to swing. “Or you could come with me.”

  “I could,” Cassie agreed. “If that’s what you would like.” The kindergarten usually had their Moms and Muffins on a different morning or time, to accommodate mothers with children in different grades. It could work for her to go with Austin, and it could work for Matt to go with Noah to Dads and Donuts. She wondered what Matt would think of that trade.

  “We’ll talk to your dad about it,” Cassie said. “But there is something even more important I want you to think about first.”

  “What?” Austin said when she hadn’t said any more after a few seconds.

  “It’s a question.” Cassie scooted her chair a few inches closer to Austin’s. “Last month when you hurt Noah, and today when you hurt Bradley, did that make you feel better about not having your mom here?”

  As she’d expected, Austin shrugged again.

  “Or,” Cassie continued, “did doing those things and being unkind make you feel worse?”

  Austin didn’t give an answer out loud, but when he finally looked at her again, she could see that he understood what she was getting at. The misery on his face said it all.

  “I know it is hard to be happy when someone you love isn’t with you anymore.” Cassie reached out and took Austin’s hand in her own. “It’s hard not to feel jealous when we see other people and they have a whole family when we only have a part.”

  “Do you ever feel that way?” Austin’s wide, watering eyes were all the invitation she needed to gently pull him from his chair and enfold him into the hug she’d wanted to give him from the moment he’d come through the principal’s door.

  “All the time,” she said, bending her head close to his, breathing in that little boy scent that reminded her of Noah. “It isn’t fair that your mom died. It isn’t fair that Noah doesn’t have a dad like you do. But being mean won’t change either of those. It won’t ever make anything better. It will only make it worse. I don’t want things to be worse for you, Austin.”

  He sniffled and buried his head in her shoulder. Cassie tightened her embrace and felt her own tears welling. He just needed to be loved, and he needed a teacher who realized that.

  “Can you make a promise— for me and Noah because we’re your friends and care about you— that you will try really hard not to make things worse for yourself? That you’ll hurt people less and eat more ice cream instead?”

  Austin nodded his head against her shoulder.

  “Good.” Cassie hugged him a minute longer, knowing that what she’d asked of him was easier said than done.

  Matt fitted the new stair riser between the two old rotting ones beneath the staircase leading to Cassie’s apartment.

  “Drill,” he mumbled through the screws sticking out between his lips. Austin and Asher handed him the tool together, it taking both boys to lift it.

  “Thanks.” Matt fitted a screw into the bit and connected the riser to the new step he’d already placed above. It would have been a whole lot easier to simply tear the old staircase down and build a new one, but he didn’t suppose Cassie would appreciate being stuck in her apartment all day. Not to mention that she and Noah would have missed the soccer game as well. Matt just hoped he’d started early enough to at least get the risers installed before the game. He could finish the actual steps this afternoon.

  “Think you boys can unload the rest of the wood from the truck?” Matt could tell they were getting bored and restless, and that always led to trouble. He’d promised to let them help, and he would when it came time to attach the steps, but there wasn’t much they could do right now— except start fighting.

  “Asher’s looking at me funny.”

  “No, I’m not.”

  “Are, too.”

  “Hi, Austin! Hi, Asher!” Noah called from the top of the stairs.

  Saved by the friend with the Legos, Matt thought gratefully. He moved out from beneath the stairs and glanced up just as Cassie, wearing an oversized t-shirt and with her hair piled crazily on top of her head, joined Noah outside her front door. She looked down at him as if half asleep and confused.

  “It’s six-thirty in the morning. What are you doing, Matt?” She covered her mouth as she yawned.

  “Saving you and Noah from a broken leg or worse.” He held up his drill and inclined his head toward the bed of his truck filled with lumber and supplies. “The boys and I are replacing your stairs today. Thought we’d better get an early start.”

  “Can I help, too?” Noah didn’t wait for an answer but was already bounding down the stai
rs in bare feet and pajamas.

  “Matt, you already fixed my car.” Cassie crossed her arms in front, hugging herself and causing the shirt to rise higher on her legs. Matt forced his gaze to her face, a difficult task when he was already looking up at her.

  “And all that work on your car will go to waste if they have to take you out of here in an ambulance. I’m fixing these stairs,” he insisted. “It’s that or tracking down your landlord to give him a piece of my mind. Your call.” He could be stubborn, too, especially about something as important as this.

  “I have to pay you then. All that stuff must have been expensive.” She waved a hand at the back of his truck.

  “You can start with breakfast,” he suggested. She’d already delivered on the cookies for the car. “But the real trade came last week.” Risking life and limb once more, he ran up the stairs to finish their conversation. He didn’t want the boys to hear what he was going to tell her. As he approached, Cassie took a step back so she was standing in the doorway of her apartment.

  What if her floor joists were in as bad a shape as the stairs outside? The sudden thought worried him. He’d have to find a way to check those as well, though what he really ought to do was find a way for her to move to a better place. But that, he was pretty certain, would definitely be overstepping the bounds of their friendship. By her own admission, Cassie still lived here for Devon, waiting for him to come home.

  After reading all that he had about PVS patients, Matt realized that outcome was unlikely, but Cassie’s faith in her husband, along with her unfailing loyalty, couldn’t be faulted. Matt hoped— for her sake and Noah’s— that she’d get the miracle she believed in.