Symphony of Light and Winter

by Renea Mason

  Chapter Twelve

  Apology

  My gown was drawn up over my back, breasts hanging free from the bodice, when I remembered I didn’t have any fucking underwear on. That son of a bitch distracted me, and then violated my mind. Looking over my shoulder, I spotted Cyril sitting on the floor opposite the piano bench, staring at me. The bastard had a seat with a view; my panty-less bottom faced his direction. The most startling thing of all was the look on his face. Was it surprise or…fear? Apparently I had fallen face forward off the piano bench at the same time he had fallen off the back. On my hands and knees, I turned to face him. He didn’t move.

  My menacing stare met his eyes as I stalked toward him, not bothering to lace my top or pull down my nightgown. Modesty would have made me look weak, and at that moment, I had control. Otherwise he wouldn’t look the way he did.

  Passing the piano bench, I knocked it aside. I wanted him to know I didn’t come in peace. He remained motionless as I rose up on my knees, greeting him at eye level. Staring at him, picturing my rage boring through his skull, I swallowed and cracked my neck to the right.

  Our eyes locked and I wasn’t sure if I could speak. When I did, malice laced each word. I wanted him to have no doubt how bad he fucked up. I punctuated each syllable through my gritted teeth. “I told you to never do that.”

  His brow furrowed and reflected some of my anger. “And I warned you, I’m a selfish bastard.”

  I slapped him. He embraced it, unflinching. Overcome with fury, I struck him. Punch after punch met his chest and he made no move to stop me. The anger had to be realized, and after what he did, he owed me. Growling, my fists slowed with each impact. My breathing labored. He grabbed both my wrists, pulling me to his chest, and wrapped his steel arms around me.

  “Let me go!”

  “Calm down and listen to me. It’s the only way I’m releasing you.”

  I struggled for a few minutes, before realizing there was no way to break free.

  “Are you done?” he chided. Not waiting for my response, he continued, “I’m only going to explain this once. So listen carefully.”

  Condescending bastard!

  “Before tonight, I was convinced you were in league with Myghal. You were married to him, so you can see how I might be suspicious. Many things caused me to wonder. For one, you had my blood and I had no memory of how it happened. Add in my inability to read your mind before tonight and you have to admit, you looked guilty of something nefarious. It occurred to me you might be a new manifestation of someone I thought I rid myself of long ago. Your immunity to my curse, coupled with the constant need to bury myself inside you, made it impossible for me to walk away.”

  Heat flooded my traitorous body, but I wouldn’t allow his words to take hold of me. “I knew you couldn’t read my mind before tonight. You were too damn stubborn to admit it.” I tried to pull away to look at him.

  He squeezed. “Silence, and stop wiggling!” His groan of frustration echoed through the room. “I tried to read your mind in the restroom the first night but got distracted by the feel of you. Your emotions overwhelmed me, especially how much you wanted me, and I nearly lost control. After finding Myghal’s shit statues at your apartment, I tried again.”

  I struggled again in his arms.

  “Stop it, I’m not done.”

  In a very quick movement he shifted my position, placing my legs on either side of him. Seated on his outstretched legs facing his chest, I struggled as he pulled me in tight. I would never get away from him in the new position. It also placed my very naked womanly flesh in direct contact with his jean-covered arousal. I willed myself not to think about it, but it didn’t keep my body from responding.

  He cleared his throat. “At your apartment I was very frustrated. You made it clear you wouldn’t consent, so I brought you home with me to try to get you to open up. I waited until you slept to try, but it didn’t work, your mind was closed. So I visited you each night, thinking you’d confide in me but instead you ignored me. Well, most of the time you did. I seemed to get your attention when I undressed.”

  I pinched his side, causing me to slide against his cock; his arms stiffened and he groaned. “Stop that! This is hard enough without you making it more difficult.”

  It was hard, all right.

  “Occasionally, when I drink from someone, I see flashes of their memories. Most times it’s not a welcome side effect. I don’t care to be bothered with pointless human drama, but since you were so hard to read, I thought if I drank from you it would let me into your mind. So I injured myself, hoping you would nurse me back to health and give me a forgivable reason for requesting it from you.”

  “You have got to be kidding me! You did that to yourself? You asshole!” I tried to pull away but he wouldn’t allow it.

  “Selfish bastard,” he corrected.

  “Whatever.”

  “There were times when I thought I felt love emanating from you. As you bandaged me, offered yourself to me, and when you cleaned me of my release. My response to drinking from you is not my usual reaction. That night all I could think of were two things. One, how could you be so kind, loving, and selfless, and be allied with Myghal? Two, how fucking incredible it will feel to have my cock buried inside you while I sink my teeth into your neck. Mmmmm…this position will work nicely.” He wiggled his hips and held me tight against his arousal.

  I pinched him hard.

  “Ow, I do feel pain you know.”

  “Good! There is hope.”

  “Oh, you like it rough? There is hope indeed.”

  I bit him hard on the shoulder.

  “Careful, Light, don’t start something you’re not willing to finish. I’m sure you can feel how ready I am and I’m running out of patience.”

  My face flushed. Even as I wished they didn’t, his words excited me.

  He stroked my back with soft caresses as he continued his confession. “You were driving me insane with desire and I couldn’t hold out much longer. I needed to know for sure. It was a difficult situation. I didn’t know if I could trust you, but couldn’t afford to betray you.”

  “This was your solution? How fucking clueless are you?”

  “I work with energy, Linden. There are different types and sexual energy is extremely malleable. My plan was to seduce you into the lack of consciousness that accompanies orgasm and slip into your mind undetected. But watching you and feeling you come undone in my arms overwhelmed me. That moment of distraction caused you to be aware of what was happening. No one has ever forced me out of his or her mind before. I’m convinced you’re not in on Myghal’s plans, but nothing about you makes sense.”

  “So tricking me made sense? Didn’t you even consider you were violating me?”

  His voice low and laced with remorse. “No. I was desperate. I couldn’t afford to be deceived with so much at risk, but I also can’t bear to lose you.”

  I said nothing. I figured the less I protested the sooner he’d let me go.

  “Linden… What we had was beautiful and I am so sorry I didn’t remember. It’s hard for me to see myself that way because I’ve never been tender with anyone. I could be with you, given your immunity to the curse and the love always in your eyes for me.”

  I refused to acknowledge his words.

  He continued. “I can feel all your emotions in your memories. I am humbled by what you felt for me, especially since I’m the one to blame. I’m going to let you go and give you time to think but before I do, I beg your forgiveness.”

  I burrowed my head into his chest but remained silent.

  “There is something else you should know.” He kissed the top of my head. “Do you remember the chant I whispered as I died?”

  Reluctantly I answered, “Yes.”

  “It is a very powerful spell. Your memories unlocked the pieces missing in mine. I intended to someday ask you to stay with me, but only after you enjoyed your life and all of the pleasures humanity had to offer. My world can b
e harsh and only once you had enough experience to make a sound decision would I have offered you the option. I wanted you to love others so when I finally came for you, you would know how strong the bond between us was. There has been something between us from the first look in your eyes. You didn’t run, scream, or cower from me, and my astonishment made me a fool.”

  “That’s why you didn’t make a move on me.”

  “Oh, I wanted to. When I gifted you the book, and without hesitation you took it, I was lost. I struggled between right and wrong. My need for you overwhelmed me, but my concern for your happiness was the pinnacle of my focus. I tried so hard to be selfless, which is why I tried to keep some distance between us.”

  “Surely you’re not trying to argue how noble you are? You’re a little late.”

  He paused. His embrace loosened but he still held me, speaking into my hair. His breath moved the strands and tickled my ear.

  “I didn’t do it to take away your choices. I did it out of desperation, thinking I would never see you again. There was a good chance I would forget everything after the Awakening. I told no one else of your existence. Not even Stanton knew of you. If anyone knew, they could have hurt you to get to me. I never expected to die. I was afraid, and fear is not an emotion I deal with often. The thought of losing you caused me to cast the spell. My blood made the spell permanent. It was our kiss that made you mine.” He squeezed me a bit tighter.

  It felt like some sick fairy tale. “What are you saying?”

  “The life I wanted you to experience can never be, because you are bound to me. Your fear that I could ruin you for anyone else was well-founded, but not in the manner you imagined. The misfortune that befell Michael in your wedding bed was because he bedded and bit my mate. The bonding spell has precautions against anyone trying to take you from me and you have my blood, which to him is poison. But I think somewhere deep inside, you knew it already.”

  My hands hung limply at my side. Thank goodness I refrained from dating. I would have left a body count.

  “I am so sorry. I would like to think with age and experience, I would have infallible judgment. Unfortunately, the power I gather amplifies my mistakes. It makes them more devastating. Stanton told you his story. The guilt I feel for what I caused my dear friends is unending. But it pales in comparison to the guilt I have for what I’ve done to you. You tried to rescue me, and I’ve done nothing but damn you.”

  We both said nothing for a long time. He unwound his arms and reached to twirl tendrils of my hair between his fingers. “It’s beautiful and mirrors your feistiness, but why dye it? Your locks were equally as lovely natural.”

  I looked away from him. “I knew, deep down, I wasn’t meant for anyone. I figured it made me seem fierce and unapproachable; that way everyone would be safe and I wouldn’t be tempted.”

  “You’re wrong.” He cupped my face, forcing me to meet his gaze. “You were meant for me.”

  I swallowed hard. Those words made my heart ache. I’d dreamed of hearing them fall from his lips, but I could not give him absolution. I was in a unique position to make a few demands; I’d be crazy not to use it to my advantage.

  “You know everything about me. Tell me what you are.”

  “You already know too much. If you leave, you’re a liability. Come to me willingly and I can share everything with you. Everything.”

  I laughed, the sound bitter. “You can’t possibly be serious. You violated me in the worst way, told me you intentionally bound me to you against my will so I can never be with anyone else, and now you want me to give myself to you? Never! Now give me the answers you owe me!”

  “I can’t.”

  “This is bullshit! I’m leaving.”

  “Where will you go?”

  “Home to my apartment.”

  He wouldn’t meet my eyes.

  “What did you do?”

  “I’m sorry, Linden. You don’t live there anymore. Your things are in the garage.”

  “Son of a bitch! Is there anything you haven’t screwed up for me?”

  I climbed out of his lap, noticing his defeated look, but unable to bring myself to care.

  “I guess I’ll be in the garage…with my things.” I stood and turned my back to him.

  “Linden…”

  “No more. Either you give me answers or shut the hell up.” I looked at him and knew he wasn’t going to change his mind. I righted my gown, tied the lacing, and walked out the door.

  * * *

  With as much dignity as a girl with no panties could have, I headed into the hallway. My stride slowed as I thought about all the things he said. The one that kept resurfacing was his offer for me to be his.

  What did that even mean? Be his what?

  All those years ago I would have jumped at the chance to be called his no matter what he was, or what he did. Foolish. Now with everything he had done, how could I ever trust him?

  His refusal to give me the rest of the story until I made some kind of commitment was ridiculous. I was in too deep already. No matter how much I wanted to go back, it wasn’t a possibility. That sick, sappy girl somewhere deep inside, reminded me he probably didn’t need to ask for any of the things he desired. He possessed enough power to take whatever he wanted, but he gave me choices?

  I looked behind me, relieved Cyril had not followed. I navigated the long, dark hallway leading to the garage. A bright light from an open closet door cast strange shadows on the wall as someone moved inside it. Overton backed out, carrying two oversize suitcase-like containers. He huffed a few times before catching sight of me.

  “Linden…” he said on a breathless whisper as the baggage dropped free of his grip. The case broke open and the contents scattered. I remembered my attire, certain it was the source of his alarm. Under normal circumstances I’d be embarrassed to be seen half-dressed, but after the night I had, I couldn’t care less.

  “Shit!” He immediately dropped to his knees and gathered up the contents.

  “Here, let me help.” I knelt beside him and started placing the strange-looking objects back into the case. It looked like weaponry of one sort or another.

  “What are these?” I held up what looked to be a high-tech dart with a red casing, a chamber containing green liquid, and a button on the opposite end of a large needle.

  “They are paralytic darts,” he said with a touch of frustration.

  “What are they used for?”

  “Contrary to what you might think, we don’t like to kill people. From time to time we need to obtain intelligence from less than willing subjects. Instead of torture, we bring them to Cyril so he can use his mind-reading gift. You could say we catch and release. It’s easy when he’s with us, but sometimes we have to bring the subject to him. It makes it easier and no one gets hurt while trying to get away.”

  “Ah, so how do they work?” I held the dart up to the light to inspect it.

  “It’s pretty simple. You get close enough to stab the intended target and in fifteen seconds they are at your disposal. It does make you appreciate how long fifteen seconds can be. A lot can happen while you’re waiting for the effects to take hold. They contain a paralytic agent that renders the body useless, but the subject is conscious the entire time. They are very useful. We are going to capture one of Myghal’s servants and find out why he wants you.”

  Oh, this was good. I had a different plan.

  “Great idea.” I plotted my next move. Myghal would have to wait.

  As I went to place the final dart back into the case, I leaned forward and slipped. I fell into Overton and knocked over the case, spilling the darts across the wooden floor. He had already witnessed my descent down the front stairs, so I was sure he wouldn’t think my clumsiness out of character.

  “Damn it! I’m so sorry.”

  He looked stunned. His arms supported me. With the strangest look on his face, I heard him inhale deeply.

  “Here, let me get those.” I went to pull away, but his grip
tightened. When I looked up into his eyes, what I saw was immediate cause for concern. Desire. I had more than enough issues with Cyril right now. But on second thought, it was the distraction I needed.

  “Overton…” I breathed his name seductively. He pulled me in closer. He cupped the back of my head, lacing his fingers through my hair, and tugged gently to pull my head back and look squarely into my eyes.

  Oh shit! Was he going to kiss me? I wanted to distract him, but didn’t anticipate this.

  “We, I…shouldn’t—”

  “Linden, you should go.”

  “Yes.”

  He didn’t release me, but stared with a look of confusion creasing his brow.

  “Stanton. You need to let go.” I stroked his back as I used his first name.

  He shook his head. “I am so sorry. Forgive me.” With that he released me.

  “Nothing to forgive.” I shot him a sincere smile.

  “Here, let me help.” I dropped to my knees and started to place the darts and weapons back into the case.

  “It’s OK, Linden. I’ve got it. Go ahead.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yes.” We locked eyes and I gave him a final we’re OK smile.

  I palmed one of the darts and concealed it behind my back.

  “Don’t worry, it’s our secret.” I leaned forward and kissed his forehead. There was something genuine about Overton. He had a purity about him that put me at ease. I didn’t want him to feel bad about our awkward moment, and I felt guilty because I never considered his reaction. I was too nervous and excited about my plan to contemplate what happened.

  He looked up from his kneeling position on the floor. “Thank you.”

  I didn’t wait for him to finish his response, but registered the worry in his eyes.

  I took off down the hall toward the room with the piano. I prayed Cyril would still be there. As I approached the doors, a tickle of anticipation ran through me. Would he still be there?