The Soldier and the Single Mom

by Lee Tobin McClain

  Dion nodded and hurried inside, leaving the door open like he expected Buck to follow. When Buck didn’t, he looked back, eyebrows lifted. “Come on, man.”

  But Buck knew what was best for everyone, and he wasn’t it. He grabbed his wallet and keys. “You handle it,” he said and headed out, bent on getting far, far away from here.

  * * *

  Gina survived the next hour of shouting and accusations by clinging to Bobby, soothing him, reminding herself to stay strong for him. She reeled from the force of Art and Lorna’s hatred, her stomach churning with fear. Could they take Bobby from her?

  Could she prevent them, with her complete lack of money and power?

  Her mind darted in all directions, but it kept coming back to one question. Where was Buck? Why wasn’t he here, standing by her?

  Of course, it wasn’t his problem or his obligation. She shouldn’t feel betrayed. Still, she’d trusted him and felt he was a friend, if not more.

  If not a whole lot more, if their sweet embrace was any indication.

  But now, in her hour of need, he seemed to be gone. True, he’d gotten Dion here, for which Gina was incredibly thankful, but still. She’d expected something different from him.

  Then again, if he’d been frequenting bars...

  As Art and Lorna talked heatedly to Dion, heaping on accusations and innuendos, Gina shot up prayers for help and safety with every breath, her body cringing from the onslaught of lies and bitterness that seemed almost physical in its intensity. She didn’t see how God could deliver her, but she tried desperately to remember all the biblical promises she’d ever memorized.

  Dion was a force of calm and reason. Obviously sensing that she was near her breaking point, he pulled Art and Lorna aside for quiet moments of conversation while she took Bobby upstairs to calm down. As she let him nurse, she prayed hard, and bits of verses came back to her.

  The Lord is my strength and my shield.

  We are more than conquerors.

  Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies...of my enemies...of my enemies.

  She wanted to stay in her room, to shut out the hateful forces downstairs. But she needed to pay attention. She couldn’t shrink away as she used to do.

  She put Bobby down in his crib, but he fussed and lifted his arms, so she picked him back up and carried him downstairs, stopping in the doorway of the living room to listen to what was going on.

  “You wouldn’t understand,” Lorna was saying in a patronizing voice. “You people are used to all that drinking and rough behavior.”

  Gina blinked. Had Lorna really said that? To Dion?

  “Did you want to elaborate on just what kind of people you mean?”

  Lorna hemmed and hawed.

  “I didn’t think so.” His answer was quiet, with steel underneath. “Now, I suggest you go back to where you came from and leave the decent folks of Rescue River alone.”

  Art and Lorna both started talking at once, even as they backed toward the door. Phrases like back tomorrow and with a warrant and custody hearing and abducted out of state flew from their mouths.

  Gina stepped out of the kitchen in time to see Dion take a couple of steps toward the couple.

  They turned and left, slamming the door.

  Gina sank down onto a bench in the entryway. “I’m so sorry about them,” she said to Dion. “They’re awful.”

  “I can see that.” He leaned against the wall, looking through the window beside the door as a car engine started up outside. “But it’s not your fault.”

  The sound of spitting gravel as the car sped away took some of the weight off Gina’s heart. “I caused them to come here and disturb your town.”

  He shook his head. “That was their decision. We just have to make sure they don’t get access to Bobby.”

  “You knew about his bruises?”

  He nodded. “Your in-laws aren’t the only ones who have connections. Did you ever get a restraining order against them?”

  “I tried. The officer I talked to advised against it.” She paused. “They donate a lot to the local police fund-raisers.”

  Dion just shook his head.

  Car headlights flashed through the window, and fear clawed at Gina’s stomach. Had Art and Lorna come back?

  Or had Buck? Now, after the trouble was temporarily over? She braced herself to yell at him, but truthfully, all she wanted was the protection and comfort of his arms.

  But it wasn’t Buck who came through the door. It was Lacey.

  “Hey, guys, are we all set for tomorrow? I heard we’re supposed to have record turnout at the festival...” She broke off, seeing Dion. “What’s wrong? Where’s my brother? What’s he done now?”

  Gina flinched. Lacey, who knew him so well, had made the automatic assumption that Buck had gotten into trouble.

  The truth clicked into place, like pieces from a puzzle. His sister assumed he’d fallen off the wagon. He’d been seen at the bars.

  She blew out a breath as her hopes and dreams about him shattered around her. She’d thought he was a great guy, wonderful. She’d even begun to dream of a future together.

  But he is a great guy!

  Yes, he was. Her husband had been, too, when he wasn’t high.

  But she knew where this road led. Despite the twists and turns, despite the promises and the calm periods, and, yes, the happiness, in the end, what you got was a couple of cops on your doorstep.

  Ma’am, are you Gina Patterson? We have some bad news...

  Her eyes filled with tears as disappointment congealed into a huge lump in her stomach. When would she ever learn? Why had she let it happen again? She had to understand that love wasn’t meant for someone like her, too needy, too hopeful, too ready to look past fatal flaws when they came in the guise of a charming guy, someone like her dad.

  She couldn’t subject Bobby to that. But look at her—earlier tonight, she’d been ready to jump into Buck’s arms, to make a commitment that she and Bobby would be his family.

  She was a fool.

  Dion and Lacey were talking quietly, glancing over at her. She heard Buck’s name. And then they both took their phones out, punching in numbers. Waiting.

  No answers.

  Gina felt the same discouraged hurt that was written on Lacey’s face, the same tight-lipped anger that flattened Dion’s mouth.

  Buck hadn’t cared enough about her and Bobby to stay. The siren call of the bottle had been louder to him than Bobby’s cries.

  She knew it was an illness, that he couldn’t help himself.

  But he was helping himself! He was in recovery! You never saw him drunk, not even once!

  But if he was well and whole, he’d be here now.

  They all waited for another hour, drinking coffee, checking phones, talking a little. Gina took Bobby upstairs and put him to bed, then came back down. Too restless to sit, she cleaned up the little bit of remaining mess in the room she and Buck had been working on.

  Before everything had gone straight downhill.

  When she came out, Dion was shrugging into his jacket. “I’ve got to get back on patrol, but I’ll make sure you’re all locked down,” he said. “We’ll have frequent surveillance. And, Lacey, you stay here with Gina and Bobby, okay?”

  Gina opened her mouth to protest, then closed it again. She didn’t want to be an obligation. But Bobby’s safety took precedence over her own embarrassment.

  “Of course.” Lacey moved to stand by Gina. “We’ll be fine.”

  After Dion checked the locks and all the downstairs windows, he drove off with another promise of frequent patrols.

  Gina turned to face Lacey. “I’m sorry to have involved you in all this. I know you didn’t want us here, and that you’ve been working extra
to avoid being around us, getting all your memories kicked up. As soon as I can find a way to keep Bobby safe, I’ll be out of here and you can go back to life as normal.”

  Lacey took her hand and tugged her into the kitchen. She filled the kettle with water and put it on the stove. And then she came to sit across the table from Gina. “It may not seem like it,” she said, “but you and Bobby have been a help for me. Forced me to face some things about myself. To get my thoughts and plans together.” Lacey closed her eyes for a minute and then opened them again. “It’s been painful. But I understand some things better now. I’m not going to get better, not completely.”

  “Oh, Lacey, with God’s help—”

  “I know.” Lacey held up a hand. “I’m praying all the time, looking for guidance, asking for forgiveness. And I realize I’m never...” She swallowed hard.

  The teakettle whistled, and she stood and poured hot water over tea bags, brought two cups over to the table.

  “We don’t have to talk about this now,” Gina said. “It’s late. I’m sure you want to go to bed.”

  “Do you want to? This has to have been an awful, scary day. I don’t know the whole story, but you must be exhausted.”

  “I’ll never get to sleep. If you can distract me by talking about something other than my horrible in-laws, go for it. Please.”

  Lacey dunked her tea bag repeatedly, not looking at Gina. After a moment, she spoke in a low voice. “I realize I’ll never be able to love a man and child again. Not like I loved Gerry, problems and all. And maybe that’s why...” She broke off, opened her eyes wide as if that would make the tears stay inside. “That’s why God made me infertile. Why I can’t have another baby.”

  “Oh, Lacey.” Compassion for the other woman flooded Gina’s heart, making her own worries recede. “Are you sure?”

  “Pretty sure. I just got results from a few more tests.”

  “And here I’ve been preoccupied with work and all my problems and never even thought of what you might be going through. I’m sorry. That must be so hard to deal with.”

  Lacey grabbed a napkin and started shredding it. “It’s like I’m frozen inside. Maybe I’m going to stay that way. But when I get over this initial...hurt, I’ll figure out what to do with my life as a single person. There’s nothing wrong with being single.”

  Gina nodded. She needed to start remembering those ideas herself. “That’s what the Bible says.”

  “Exactly. And maybe that’s His mercy to me, stopping me from even trying to connect with a man and have a family. Because I can’t.” Her voice was quiet and bleak.

  “Oh, Lacey, don’t give up if that’s your dream. There’s all kind of medical advances, there’s adoption, there’s—”

  “I know,” Lacey interrupted. “I know, and I know it’s not going to happen for me. But let’s get off my issues. I feel like a rat, talking about this when your baby’s at risk.”

  “I want to talk—”

  “No.” Lacey raised her hand like a stop sign. “Please. I can’t... Look. I’ve got a burglar alarm, and Dion made me turn it on. The locks are great—Buck made sure of that. We’ll be safe through the night. And things will look better in the morning.” She blew out a breath and banged the table with a fist. “I just can’t believe that brother of mine. I thought he was making such good progress.”

  “Me, too.” Gina’s voice broke a little and she pressed her lips together.

  They finished their tea in silence and then hugged good-night and went upstairs.

  “Tomorrow is another day,” Lacey said.

  Gina nodded. Another day when Bobby’s at risk of being taken from me.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Buck didn’t know how long he drove. It could have been minutes, or it could have been hours. Finally, when he couldn’t outrun his pain, he pulled off the highway into a little rural strip mall’s parking lot.

  It looked familiar, and he figured he’d been here before. In his drinking days, he’d spent a fair amount of time traveling, doing odd jobs, letting whatever town he was staying in cool off.

  There was a Chinese restaurant at one end of the strip mall, still open, and he thought about going in to get tea and something to eat. But since the place looked familiar, had he been here before? In what condition? He couldn’t face another manager barring the door, another rejection.

  The words of Gina’s former in-laws rang in his ears.

  Drunk all over town.

  Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.

  A danger to Bobby and Gina.

  It was that last one that hurt his heart and scared the daylights out of him. Bobby and Gina meant the world to him. He loved them both—he knew that now. He wanted them to be his family.

  Only, if he was a danger to them, then no dice. He couldn’t put them at risk. If he were the cause of someone else dying, another woman and child...well, that would be unforgivable. Better to keep running and never come back than to harm them in any way.

  He remembered his wife’s words in their final bad days. Terrible husband...don’t know why I married you...disaster as a father. He’d had enough counseling to know that words spoken in anger couldn’t fully define who he was. At the same time, if the sources all agreed, then you’d come upon truth.

  Even the people at the Senior Towers had condemned him. His old friends, the people who’d known him since childhood.

  And Dion...his disappointed expression when he’d looked back and seen that Buck wasn’t coming along. It was a killer.

  The truck cab was getting stuffy, and he needed to move. He got out and leaned back against the side of the truck, looking around the small plaza. Yes, he’d been here before, had seen that dollar store, that gas station.

  He knew without looking behind him that there was a bar across the street. His back actually tingled, as if the place were pulling him magnetically toward it.

  He was far enough from Rescue River that no one was likely to know him there. He had money. He could easily go in and get a drink or a couple. No one from home would find out.

  And even if they did, who cared? His reputation was already in the sewer.

  Some part of his mind recognized the dangerous direction of these thoughts, and he fumbled in his pocket for his sobriety coin. But he was still wearing work clothes, and he hadn’t put the coin in his pocket this morning. Had missed doing it a lot of days lately, in fact. He hadn’t been thinking about alcohol.

  He’d been thinking about Gina.

  He blew out a breath and tried to latch on to what he’d learned in AA. He should call his sponsor. He reached back into the car, and only then did he realize he didn’t have his phone on him. He’d left in such a hurry that all he’d grabbed was his wallet. His phone was on his dresser at home, turned off so it wouldn’t wake the baby.

  Bobby.

  He looked heavenward. “I’ve tried, Lord. I’ve really tried here.”

  Of course, there was no answer. God wasn’t on speaking terms with a loser like him. God was in agreement with all the good people of Rescue River.

  He banged a fist against the top of the car, stupidly. It hurt, and he winced as he climbed back in and started the engine.

  Washing his mind clean of any thought, he drove over to the little bar’s parking lot, pulled up close, got out.

  As he approached the door of the roadhouse, a light flashed next door. Curious, he looked over.

  It looked like another bar beside the first one, only where the first bar flashed beer signs, this one had the message—Jesus Saves—along with a blinking cross.

  He hadn’t seen it the last time he was here. Lacey would have called it tacky.

  Was it some kind of joke? But no, above the door was a small sign: New Country Church. Along the storefront windows were painted slo
gans and verses: “Sinners Saved by Grace” and “All Welcome” and “Because He Loves You.”

  Buck shook his head. Some crazy Christian, or a bunch of them, making a church along the highway. Trying to, anyway. He had to admire the effort, however futile. How would a church compete with a roadhouse full of light and color, with pulsing music, laughing people?

  Whereas the little church...

  Ridiculing himself for being a fool, he walked over to the door. A Thursday night, late—no way would it be open.

  He tried the door.

  It opened.

  “Really, God?” he said out loud. Took one last glance back at the roadhouse. Then walked into the storefront church.

  * * *

  The next morning, Gina was already up and dressed after a restless night, feeding Bobby, when there was a pounding at the door.

  Lacey didn’t come down, and Gina wasn’t sure whether or not she’d left for work. So she answered the door herself, Bobby on her hip.

  Standing on the porch was Dion in full uniform, and Daisy, a woman Gina had met briefly at the church lunch.

  But Daisy acted official rather than friendly as she shook Gina’s hand. “Daisy Hinton. I’m a social worker, here to look into a couple of things for Children and Youth. Is this your son?”

  Gina’s heart pounded so fast she thought she might pass out. “Yes, this is Bobby,” she said and clutched him tighter.

  “May I come in?”

  “Okay.” Gina stepped aside.

  “I’ll leave you to it, then,” Dion said to Daisy. “Call me if you need anything. I won’t be far away.”

  In the hall, Daisy took off her coat. “We had a report of child neglect. I’m just here to ask a few questions.”

  Gina’s knees went limp and she sank down on the hallway bench, clutching Bobby so tightly that he fussed a little. They’d done it. They’d reported her. She was going to lose her son.

  He leaned his head against her and clutched her hair in stubby fingers, and she straightened her spine. No way would she let them win.