by Lylah James
Alessio groaned, resting his head against mine. “This is torture. Why didn’t anyone tell me we had to wait?”
A laugh escaped past my lips as I pulled my head away. “Patience, Alessio.”
He huffed, giving me a hard stare. “Do you find this amusing?”
“A little,” I replied with a shrug.
We stared at each other for a second before busting out laughing. Maila jumped in my arms, her mouth opening with a loud cry. My eyes widened, and I quickly soothed my frightened baby.
Alessio’s laughter died down to a quiet chuckling. “We scared her,” I muttered when she continued suckling hungrily.
Alessio and I were quiet as we watched Maila feed. Her eyes were closed, her tiny fist resting against my other breast.
My eyes moved around the nursery, admiring the room that Maddie had helped me put together. Alessio had his hands in it too.
The room was big, too big for a baby. But it was the closest to our bedroom, so that was our first choice.
The walls were painted a soft beige. Maila’s crib was against the wall in the middle of the two large panel windows.
The crib was fit for a princess. Soft pinkish curtains came down on either side. Next to the crib, there was a couch and an ottoman. The rocking chair was on the other side of the crib.
My gaze went to the wall behind the crib, where the curtains weren’t covering it. My heart fluttered at the quote there.
Your first breath took ours away.
Oh, how truthful these words were. She was our miracle, our light.
There were two more quotes around the nursery. My gaze flitted to the second one. It was on the wall next to the window, where the dresser was.
We loved you before you were born.
And now, our love for you shines brighter.
When my eyes went to the last quote, I had to suppress my laugh.
There is no Prince Charming for me. My Daddy is my only King.
Actually, that wasn’t the original quote. The original said,
Someday I may find my Prince Charming but my Dad will always be my King.
But Alessio being Alessio, when he came into the room to find that quote painted on the wall, he went straight downstairs and came back with the paint.
No amount of arguing had stopped him from repainting that wall and writing down his own quote.
And now we had the new version.
To say that Alessio was protective and possessive was an understatement. I wondered what would happen to Maila’s first boyfriend. The thought left a shiver down my spine.
It wasn’t just Alessio’s possessiveness. That boy would also have to deal with three overbearing uncles and two grandfathers.
Not good. Not good at all. It appeared that there would be no Prince Charming for a very long time.
I was snapped out of my thoughts when Maila stopped suckling.
I stood up, noticing that she was finished. Rocking her in my arms, I glanced up at Alessio. “Can you bring her downstairs while I get dressed?”
Alessio stood up too. He gave me a quick kiss on the tip of my nose before pulling away.
I handed Maila to him and he held her gently in his arms. “I have to take care of some things, so I won’t see you for breakfast.”
I simply nodded. With the Italians under the Ivanshov reign, Alessio had been busy. Alberto had left a mess behind. A mess that Alessio had to clean now.
I saw the shadows behind his eyes. He wanted to keep me away from all of this, but it was impossible. I lived and breathed this life with him.
As much as this life was a part of him, it was a part of me too. I was born into the Mafia life. I was just unfortunate that I had to experience the darkest side. But I have also found love in this life.
After all, my husband was The Boss. He was King. And I was His Queen.
I smiled up at him, trying to ease the tension in his eyes. His shoulders were stiff, but at my smile, his muscles loosened.
“I’ll see you later then,” I murmured. He nodded as I walked to the door.
My legs froze in the entrance. Looking over my shoulders, I sent him a teasing smile. “Only three more weeks, Mr. Alessio Ivanshov. And then I’m all yours…to do whatever you want with.”
His eyes flared dangerously, the look of desire and pure unadulterated lust had me biting on my lips.
Alessio growled low in his chest, and I quickly stepped out of the room.
But not before I heard his warning voice. “You will regret those words, kitten.”
I laughed, my heart thumping wildly with excitement. My cheeks heated as I impatiently waited for those three weeks to be over.
Chapter 37
I came downstairs to find Maddie, Nina, and Evaline in the living room. Nina was bouncing her knees with Princess sitting on her lap, trying to keep her entertained.
A smile crept its way to my face at the sight. Who would have thought?
Aunt Nina.
It was hard to believe, but Nina was a doting aunt. She didn’t always show it, but it was clear as day that she cared for Maila.
She wasn’t sweet and gentle like Evaline or Maddie. No, her face was always cold. Her stares emotionless. Her smiles empty and dark.
But there were a few times when I noticed a slip in her hard character. A small genuine smile on her face when she played with Maila. A soft look in her eyes. It wasn’t always there…but I noticed. I saw, and I knew Maila was loved by Nina too.
To top it off, Nina spoiled her rotten.
Evaline enveloped me in a hug as I stopped beside her. “Welcome back home. When did you get here?” I asked, after pulling away.
“A few minutes ago. We’ve got the wedding to plan. I’m here just for a few days though. My boss is being an asshole. We have a project to sign with another company, so I have to go. But I’ll be back a day before the wedding,” she explained with a sad pout.
Smiling, I hugged her again. “Okay. That’s good enough. As long as you’re here for the wedding. After all, you are my bridesmaid.”
Maila’s cooing snapped me away from Evaline. When I saw her chin covered with spit, I took a step forward. But Nina already got it.
Taking a small baby towel in her hand, she wiped Maila’s chin clean. “I got her,” she muttered.
“Who dressed her up this morning? The dress is so cute!” Evaline crooned, waving her finger in front of Maila.
“Alessio did,” I replied, trying to hide my own laughter.
Maddie laughed. “Oh Lord. She has them all wrapped around her fingers. It’s too cute!”
I nodded because of how true it was. Viktor, Nikolay, and Phoenix were her godfathers. It was hard to choose between them. And they threatened each other too. A big fight broke out on who was the godfather. In the end, I decided on all three. The more the better, right?
After all, they all loved her the same.
My eyes went to Maddie. I saw her gazing at Maila, smiling at her. My own smile widened. From the very beginning, there was no second thought that she would be the godmother.
My heart still ached for her loss. But every time she smiled at Maila, her love pure, I would slowly forget about the past. I knew she was still hurting, her loss still fresh, but her wounds were healing, slowly but surely.
We sat down and discussed the wedding. It must have been hours when we finally came to a decision. Maddie and Evaline eventually left to call the designers and take care of everything else.
My gaze went to Nina. She was strangely quiet. Over the months, we became close. Not as close as I was with Maddie or Evaline, but I could say we were friends.
Nina wasn’t who I thought she was.
Yes, she was rude, mean, and sometimes outright cold.
But after putting our differences away, we got along. Against her wishes, Maddie and Evaline pulled her into the group. She had no choice but to accept us.
“I can hold her, if you want,” I said, pointing at the sleeping Maila in her arms.
>
Nina shook her head. “It’s okay. I got her.”
We were silent for a few seconds before I cleared my throat. I moved beside Nina and softly rubbed my fingers over Maila’s head. She loved it when I did that.
“I want you to be my bridesmaid, with Evaline.”
Nina froze beside me, and then there was utter silence. I licked my lips nervously before finally facing her.
“You want me to be your bridesmaid?” she asked incredulously.
“Yes, we’re friends. I want you to be part of this wedding,” I replied quietly.
Nina gave me a dry laugh. She was careful not to jolt Maila. “Ayla, I fucked your husband and you want me to be your bridesmaid. You know that makes no sense, right? We might be friends, but we aren’t that close.”
I steeled my features against her words.
Shrugging, I gave her a smile. “You’re right, but I care for you. Don’t try to act cold with me, Nina. I can see past that fake excuse. You care, and you want to be friends, although you try to hide it. We all need friends, Nina. You mean a lot to me. Like Maddie and Evaline. So you need to accept this and stop fighting it.”
The words were true, and for weeks, I had been desperate to say them.
Nina looked at me silently before taking a deep breath. She smiled, and for the first time, her genuine smile was directed toward me. “I remember a time when you used to hate me.”
I smiled too. “You hated me too,” I replied drily.
Nina shook her head, looking down at Maila on her lap. “Hate is a strong word, Ayla. I didn’t hate you. Maybe the word you’re looking for is jealous.”
My eyes widened at her choice of word. “Jealous? Of me? Why?”
Nina lost her smile and shrugged. “You came and everything changed. I didn’t like it. I didn’t like how all of a sudden Alessio went from being this cold person to loving you, while I had been with him for ten years.”
Before I could say anything, she continued in the same monotone voice. “I was fifteen when I met Alessio. Fifteen when he found me in that dark alley, beaten up and bleeding. He saved me. I looked up to him. You know what happened two weeks later? He brought me to the basement, pushed me forward, and handed me a knife. I realized the man strapped to the chair in front of me was the same man who tortured me. I didn’t ask Alessio any questions. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was the man in front of me. I was fifteen when I was introduced to this life and realized this was what I needed. What I wanted.”
Her cold stare pierced mine, and I almost shivered. “I took my revenge that night. I killed him in cold blood while Alessio stood behind me. He was proud of me. For killing a man. Alessio is the devil in disguise, Ayla. He is heartless and ruthless. You have absolutely no idea. And I was his equal.”
My heart stuttered, and I looked down. My mind tried to wrap about the story she was telling me. I knew who Alessio was…but Nina, that was a whole other story.
“I still am and always will be,” she continued. I looked up to see a small smirk on her face.
“But only on the field.” Her words were left hanging as she brought her hand up and touched a finger to my chest.
“Because you have his heart. I won’t ever have that. Thing is, I don’t want it either. I don’t feel. I don’t care about anything. I like it this way. Heartless and cold. But then you came along and boom, everyone started feeling. Alessio cared. Maybe I was jealous. I was with him for so long and he never cared, but you…you came and wrapped yourself around him.”
I swallowed hard against the ball of emotion. “He cares. You are part of this family. He cares for everyone, Nina. Including you.”
Nina nodded and gave me another smile. “I know. So no, I didn’t hate you. I just didn’t understand why everything was changing so fast. But now I do. We don’t know the definition of love, Ayla. We were not bred to love and be loved. You changed that.”
“You don’t hold any hard feelings against me?” I asked quietly.
Nina chuckled. “No. You were right. Alessio and I only had sex. That’s it. We don’t have any feelings for each other. Never did.”
I didn’t say anything. My mind was still reeling from everything Nina had told me. Was I jealous that Nina had him before me? Yes, I was, but it didn’t matter anymore.
Alessio chose me.
“I’ll be your bridesmaid.” Nina’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
“You will?” I asked, my eyebrows shooting up in surprise.
She nodded, her gaze going to Maila, who was slowly waking up. Nina handed my daughter to me, and I curled her small body against my chest.
“I don’t really have a choice now, do I? You already decided we were friends,” she muttered.
Small steps. Baby steps. But we were all slowly finally coming together.
Chapter 38
Three weeks later
Alessio dragged me close to him until I was practically lying on top of him. My arms went around his waist as I buried my face into his neck. One leg was thrown over his hips as his hand burned on my thigh with its possessive hold.
I lay there, just breathing him in, listening to his heartbeat. Alessio drew random patterns on my back, and my eyes slowly closed at the calmness.
“Where do you want to go for the honeymoon?” he asked in my ear.
I moved closer into him, trying to get as close as possible. With my head over his chest, I replied quietly. “To the beach house.”
Alessio stiffened underneath me, his whole body freezing at my words. I knew he would react this way, but my decision was final.
I had to do this. I had to move on.
“No,” he snapped loudly, his fingers going impossibly tight around my hips. I winced and wiggled in his embrace.
“Alessio—” I started, but he cut me off with an angry growl.
“We aren’t going back there again,” he hissed in my ear. His tone was angry, his body tight with tension.
I knew he was trying to control himself but quickly losing it.
“But—”
He cut me off again. “I said no!”
Alessio pulled away and rolled us over until I was under his firm body. His fingers went around my wrists, pulling them over my head. “Ayla, I won’t repeat myself. We are not going back there. Ever again. Understood? It’s not even up for discussion.”
I could see the tension lines around his eyes and forehead. My heart squeezed when I saw the pain in the depth of his bluish eyes.
“Alessio,” I started again. He was already shaking his head, but I continued. “Please, let me do this. I need to do this. It’s important for me to move on. You bought the beach house for me, right?”
He didn’t answer, his jaw grinding with the effort to keep his anger in check.
“Yes,” he finally hissed.
I twisted my hands from his grip. With great reluctance, he let me go. Instead of moving away, I pulled him even closer.
My hand caressed his rough stubble as I spoke. “Well, then I want to go to my beach house. You can’t stop me. I want to do this, Alessio. I have to move on, and we can’t let what happened stop us from living. If I’m always going to cower in fear and hide behind you, how will I face my past? It hurts to think about it…our happy moments were cut short because of him. We never got a chance to enjoy it.”
I cut off as tears started to build up in eyes. My throat felt tight as I talked. “But I want to go back. I want to face it and move on, with you by my side. I know you’ll be there for me, holding me when I need you to. We have to move on, Alessio.”
My fingers danced over his cheeks as I leaned up and kissed him. “I have to fight it…my past. He’s gone, but he’s still living inside of me. Sometimes the nightmares come back. Sometimes, I fall back into the deep end. You always pull me back. But I have to fight him. This is me fighting him. I won’t let him stop me from living and enjoying my life with my husband…my family.”
Alessio’s throat moved. He looked like he
wanted to speak, but his voice was stolen from him. His jaw ticked, his eyes flaring with anger and hurt.
“Please let me do this. I want to go back to the beach house. This time, it will be different. We will be happy,” I murmured against his lips.
He groaned, his forehead touching mine as he closed his eyes. I wrapped my arms around his back, holding him to me. I could almost feel his pain bleeding out to me.
Going back there…it was going to be hard for both of us.
“Angel,” he whispered so softly.
My hand caressed his back soothingly, waiting for him to agree with me. Finally, he opened his eyes, but his forehead continued to rest against mine.
His lips curled in distaste when he replied. “Fine. We will go. But I don’t want you out of my sight for even a minute. It’s going to be crazy. I will drive you insane. But for my own sanity, Ayla…for God’s sake, you can’t leave my sight.”
I knew he didn’t want to agree with me. But he didn’t have a choice. We were going to spend our honeymoon at the beach house.
“Thank you,” I replied, my heart soaring and full of love for this man. “I won’t leave your sight. You will just have to follow me to the bathroom too.”
His lips twitched, and I fought the urge to laugh too. “You are fucking impossible, Ayla.”
“You love me,” I shot back, this time a smile curving my lips.
Alessio’s lips brushed against mine as he spoke. “So fucking much.”
Then he took my lips in a deep, breathless, and senseless kiss.
***
I woke up to find the bed empty. Alessio must have left some time ago, because his spot was already cold beside me.
After freshening up, I went to find Maila. In the end, I found her in Maddie’s bedroom.
They were both sleeping on her bed, with Maddie cuddling and holding Princess close to her chest.
