Winners and Losers

by Linda Sole

  Eight

  Maura fumbled with her door key, dropping it and nearly falling over as she bent to retrieve it. She swore as her head went round and round, but managed to grab the key. She held her right hand with her left as she struggled to open the door, eventually accomplishing it. The door clicked shut behind her as she shed her jacket, letting it fall to the ground where she stood just inside the door. Stumbling, she got as far as the small sitting room and collapsed into the nearest easy chair before she passed out.

  She was too drunk to be aware that the door from the hall leading to the bedroom had opened or that her son stood there staring at her. She was snoring as he walked over to her, his face white and set, eyes dark with something between anger and misery. His hand reached towards her and then dropped. He shook his head and turned away, going back the way he had come.

  Maura snored loudly, her mouth open, garish red lipstick smeared over her cheek, the smell of cheap perfume and cigarette smoke clinging to her. She had no idea that in his room a small boy had curled up into a ball, arms wrapped around his body as he tried to block out her image and stop himself crying.

  Alice got up, because she found it impossible to sleep. She hated lying alone in this big bed she’d shared with Daniel since they married; she was cold and lonely and life didn’t seem worth living. Knowing she wasn’t going to get back to sleep, she got up and went downstairs to the kitchen. It was warmer here because Daniel had banked the range up high so that it would keep going overnight. It provided hot water as well as a means of cooking, and it was easier to keep it burning day and night than to get it going again.

  Filling a kettle, Alice put it on the range. She wasn’t sure what to do about the way things were between her and Daniel. Her anger had cooled, and although the hurt was still there it had become muted because she was beginning to realize that she had been unfair. If she believed her husband, then what had occurred with that woman was a mistake – something he’d regretted as soon as it had happened. Alice recalled that when they’d been told Daniel was missing during the war, she had sometimes wondered about the future – and if she’d been that way inclined, she could have found someone to comfort her. She had refused all offers and clung to the hope that Daniel was alive. Her luck had held and he’d come back to her. He was everything that she wanted in life. She loved him too much to throw it all away.

  The door opened just as Alice was in the act of pouring boiling water into a large brown pot. She jumped and a little of the water splashed on her arm. She yelped and Dan came towards her, taking the kettle back to the range and coming back to look at the red mark on her arm.

  ‘You overfilled the kettle again,’ he said. ‘Shall I rub some butter on the burn for you?’

  ‘It was only a drop. You made me jump. Don’t look like that, Dan. I’m not blaming you.’

  ‘All I do is hurt you . . .’

  He looked as miserable as she felt and suddenly Alice found that her sense of humour was back. ‘Oh, Dan, what a pair we are.’ She smiled. ‘It wasn’t your fault. I was thinking and I didn’t hear you – and I’m sorry.’

  ‘You haven’t done anything wrong. This is all my fault. I’ve let you down. I can’t even provide a decent living for you . . .’

  ‘Now you’re being daft!’ She moved towards him, reaching out to put her arms about him. A sigh of relief broke from her as he caught her tight, his face buried against her neck as if he were trying to absorb the very essence of her. He wasn’t going to shut her out as she’d feared he might. ‘I’m sorry for making you sleep in Connor’s room – and I’m sorry we quarrelled. We may not have much money, but you give me all the things I really need, Dan. We have a home and plenty of food and all the important stuff.’

  ‘It isn’t what I planned. I want to give you so much more!’

  ‘You will one day. Now that you’ve decided to sell the cows you’ll have more time to spend on your cars and one day you’ll get the garage, love.’

  ‘It all takes so long. I should never have given her that money . . .’

  ‘I’ve been thinking about that,’ Alice said. ‘I’m glad you did give her something, Dan. Not for her sake, but for the boy. He is your son and I wouldn’t want him to starve. At least you’ve given her a chance to get on and make something of her life.’

  ‘You’re too generous, Alice. She was married so she had her chance. She only thought of me when she ran out of luck.’

  ‘Well, it doesn’t matter. Let’s just forget about it, Dan. I want us to be together again. This sleeping in different rooms doesn’t work. I’m lonely without you. I want you back with me.’

  ‘Are you sure? You can really forgive me?’

  ‘I’m not saying it doesn’t hurt,’ Alice said. ‘But it would hurt more if you weren’t around. I love you, Dan, and I want us to be happy again. I don’t care if we can’t afford everything we’d like to have yet. One day we shall, because I know you will get there in the end. You’re my Daniel and you’ll make things right for us one day.’

  Daniel took her in his arms, looking down at her face. ‘I love you so much, Alice. I had forgotten how much until I thought I’d lost you.’

  ‘Then what are we going to do about it?’ she asked, a teasing light in her eyes as she raised her head.

  ‘Do you really want tea?’

  ‘I can think of something I want more . . .’

  ‘Alice.’ Daniel breathed and laughed. ‘Did I ever tell you that you’re a wanton hussy?’

  ‘Many times.’ She gurgled with laughter. ‘Come on, then, you daft lump, what are you waiting for?’

  ‘How did you get on last night?’ Terry asked when the band met in the hotel lounge the next morning. ‘Did you meet anyone important?’

  ‘I was introduced to a couple of people who might be useful,’ Connor said. ‘One thing I did learn is that we need to make the group bigger. We shall never get that number one hit unless we take a big step forward. If we stay as we are, the records will eventually flop and then we’ll be finished as far as the big money goes.’

  ‘We’ll still get plenty of gigs,’ Sam said. ‘My opinion hasn’t changed. I think we should stay as we are.’

  ‘I’m with Sam,’ Ray said. ‘What about you? Terry? Jack?’

  ‘I’m with Connor. I think we need to move on,’ Terry said and Jack nodded.

  ‘I believe I know what we need.’ Connor felt excited as he saw hesitation in the faces of the other two. ‘We could bring in the Flying Dragons and then—’

  ‘No way!’ Sam said. ‘There are five of them, damn it! We wouldn’t get enough to make it worthwhile.’

  ‘We could ask a lot more if we had the right sound . . .’

  ‘But we’re already in the charts and they haven’t even got a record deal yet.’

  ‘Because they need another singer. Paul is good but he isn’t strong enough to lead the group. That’s the reason we won that night,’ Connor said. ‘Paul invited me on stage with them last night and it was magic . . .’ He hesitated, then said, ‘I’m thinking the future lies that way.’

  ‘Are you saying that you’ll go with them?’ Sam asked, but fell quiet as two men in dark raincoats came towards them through the hotel lounge. ‘Look up, bloody coppers.’ He looked nervous, his eyes darting away as the men approached.

  ‘Excuse me, gentlemen, but is one of you Mr Connor Searles?’

  ‘Yes, I am,’ Connor said and got to his feet. ‘Is something wrong, Mr . . .?’

  ‘Inspector Evans, sir,’ the taller of the two said. ‘And this is Detective Madely. Could we have a word with you in private, sir?’

  ‘I don’t have anything to hide,’ Connor said and frowned. ‘Do you mind telling me what this is about?’

  ‘Do you know a girl called Lisa Meadows, sir?’

  ‘I have met her twice – or three times if you count last night as twice,’ Connor said, feeling cold at the nape of his neck. ‘She was at the party and then she got the parking valet to let her in
to my car. I knew she was there because I smelled her perfume and I stopped the car and made her get out. She wanted me to take her to my hotel but I told her to go home.’

  ‘So you do not deny that she was in your car last evening?’

  ‘No – why should I?’ Connor felt the ice sliver trickle down his spine. ‘She was angry when I told her to grow up and go home. What has she said to you?’

  ‘Lisa Meadows was raped and beaten last night,’ Inspector Evans said, looking grave. ‘Her father called us this morning. He says that she has named you as her attacker.’

  ‘Connor wouldn’t do that!’ Terry burst out. ‘He never touches the girls. We get them coming on to us all the time but Con never goes with any of them. He is engaged.’

  ‘Is that true, Mr Searles?’

  ‘She attacked me in the car after I told her to get out. She bit my neck and I pulled her out of the car. She said I hurt her arm and I apologized, but told her to go home. I left her standing there . . .’ Connor felt sick. ‘If she was raped, it must have happened after I left her. She was just a kid. I should have taken her back to the party . . .’

  ‘She is fifteen years old, which means any man who has sex with her – with or without her consent – would be arrested and quite possibly imprisoned.’

  ‘I know that,’ Connor said. ‘I wasn’t interested in her or any of the others. I am sorry if she was attacked – especially as I abandoned her in the middle of London – but it wasn’t me.’

  ‘We should like to make a search of your room and your car, Mr Searles – and if you wouldn’t mind coming to the station, please. It would help us if you could make a full statement about what happened last night.’

  ‘Do you want me to get a lawyer, Con?’ Terry asked.

  ‘I don’t think that will be necessary yet,’ Inspector Evans said. ‘We are not arresting Mr Searles. He is merely assisting us in our inquiries.’

  Connor took his car keys and the key to his room and gave them to the Inspector. ‘Help yourself. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had girls put things in my pockets or my car – but I didn’t rape her or beat her. I can’t prove it, but I’m telling you the truth.’

  ‘At the moment I am inclined to believe your story,’ the Inspector said. ‘But Miss Meadows was raped and she is blaming you – that doesn’t mean she isn’t lying, of course.’

  ‘I’ll be back and we’ll finish this later,’ Connor said to the others. ‘Believe me, the girl is lying.’

  He followed the inspector from the hotel. He was being treated politely so far, but he was under no illusions. If they found anything incriminating, they wouldn’t hesitate to arrest him. He felt cold all over, because whatever the police did, it was what Sarah thought that mattered. If she believed him capable of rape, it would finish them.

  ‘What is the matter with you?’ Maura asked as she saw her son’s face when he returned from school that evening. ‘You look as if you’ve been fighting.’ She took hold of his arm, tipping his face so that she could look at the cuts and bruising. ‘Haven’t you got more sense than to get into fights?’

  ‘Leave me alone. It wasn’t my fault.’

  He tried to pull away but Maura held on to him. ‘What happened? I’ll complain to the teachers.’

  ‘As if they would listen to you . . .’

  ‘What do you mean?’ She shook him as he refused to answer. ‘Tell me or you’ll get nothing to eat tonight.’

  ‘They called you a whore,’ David said sullenly. ‘They said you went drinking and picking up men at the pub every night . . .’

  ‘Who said that – the teacher?’

  ‘No. Billy Williams and his mates.’ David flashed a look of resentment at her. ‘I called him a liar and went for him and then they all set on me. The teacher blamed me for starting it and I lost my gold stars.’

  ‘You shouldn’t have got into a fight over it,’ Maura said. ‘You know it isn’t true.’

  ‘Isn’t it?’ David stared at her. ‘You were drunk again when you came in last night. Your lipstick was all over your face and your nylons had a hole at the top of your leg. You looked just what they said you were.’

  Maura struck him hard across the face. ‘Damn you! How dare you talk to me like that?’

  ‘You promised you wouldn’t do it,’ he said and held his hand to his face. ‘You tell lies and you don’t care about me. I hate you!’ He rushed from the room, slamming the door of his bedroom and locking it behind him.

  Maura pulled at the handle. ‘Open this door, David! Let me in. I want to talk to you.’

  ‘Go away. I hate you!’

  ‘David . . . I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have hit you. Let me in and I’ll bathe your face, put some cream on it for you.’

  ‘Go away. I can do it myself.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Maura said again. ‘I just get lonely and miserable. I won’t do it again, I promise. Come out and we’ll have fish and chips and go to the pictures. There’s a John Wayne film you want to see on at the Rex. Please come out, love. I really am sorry. I promise I won’t do it again . . .’

  ‘I was about to come looking for you,’ Terry said when Connor met him that evening in the hotel bar. ‘You should have let me get that lawyer for you. They had no right to keep you so long.’

  ‘I went for a drive and then walked by the river for a while,’ Connor said. ‘I gave the police a statement, they gave me a cup of tea and then I left. I was told to let them know if I was thinking of leaving London and they said they would be in touch if they needed anything more.’

  ‘And that is it?’ Terry asked. Connor nodded and Terry swore. ‘Then how the hell did this happen?’ He thrust an evening newspaper at him. ‘Who went to the papers?’

  Connor looked at the headlines and saw a picture of him walking into the police station with Inspector Evans.

  ‘Connor Searles held on suspicion of the rape of a fifteen-year-old girl,’ he read aloud. ‘Damn them! How did they get this, Terry? Evans said that it wouldn’t be made public unless I was charged!’

  ‘I didn’t say anything, but . . .’ Terry looked angry. ‘It might have been Sam. After you left . . . well, he was bitter. He wants you out, says you’ve got too big for your boots. He was Phil’s mate and he wants Phil back in again. I tried to tell him that Moon Records will cancel the contract if you leave . . .’

  ‘I think they will cancel it anyway once they see this,’ Connor said, his eyes glistening with anger. ‘You should announce the break-up of the group and distance yourself while you can, Terry. I imagine this is the end of my career as a singer.’

  ‘Surely it doesn’t have to be,’ Terry said. ‘I’ll talk to the record company – and the papers.’

  ‘If they believe what this rag has written, they won’t listen,’ Connor said. ‘I’m quitting while I’m ahead, Terry. I shall tell the police they’ll find me at home if they want me.’

  ‘Don’t quit,’ Terry urged. ‘Let Moon break the contract if they want to – you’ll get some sort of a deal from them if you do that.’ He looked gloomy. ‘I suppose this means they won’t release the album . . .’

  ‘Probably,’ Connor said and grimaced. ‘I’ll let them make the first move – but I still think it would be better for you if you distance yourself from me, Terry. I don’t want to ruin things for the rest of you.’

  ‘It’s that rotten little bitch that’s done it!’ Terry looked furious. ‘You should get a lawyer and go after her, Con. Make her admit she’s lying.’

  ‘If Sarah believes this rubbish, she will ditch me. I should go home and square things with her and my family if I can.’

  ‘You’ll probably find some people think you’re guilty . . .’

  ‘As long as Dan and Sarah know the truth, the rest of them can go to hell.’

  ‘I’m really sorry, Con. I wish I’d been with you last night.’

  ‘She would have blamed us both then,’ Connor said. ‘I don’t know what is going on in that mixed-up little head of he
rs, but she must be pretty miserable to do something like this.’

  ‘Don’t feel sorry for her. I could wring her neck!’

  ‘Stay well clear of her,’ Connor advised. ‘The police found nothing in my room or my car that could incriminate me. At the moment it is just her word against mine.’

  ‘What about blood tests, you know . . .?’

  ‘I’m not sure if they found any semen on her. I suppose they might try to match it up but they didn’t ask for anything like that from me. They were polite and seemed to believe my story, but that may be just to keep me from bolting. I was warned not to go abroad, but I can go home as long as I let them know. So that is where I’m going.’

  ‘What about the gig next week?’

  ‘Find yourself another lead singer, even if it is only temporary.’

  ‘I don’t think Phil can step into your shoes. I know Sam wants him in, but we’ll go back to being what we were – just a local band that gets a few gigs and appearances at weddings if we’re lucky.’

  ‘I’m sorry. I’ve let you down, but I think it was heading that way even if this hadn’t happened.’

  ‘It’s not your fault.’ Terry swore loudly, anger getting the better of him. ‘Maybe we’ll get together again somehow.’

  ‘Maybe.’ Connor shrugged and walked away. All he wanted was to get home; he had to talk to Sarah before she saw the national papers.

  Maura stared at her son’s bed and went cold all over. It hadn’t been slept in all night. She hadn’t gone out, even though he wouldn’t open his door to her. Instead she had taken half a bottle of whisky to bed and fallen into a deep sleep. She hadn’t heard David go out and she had no idea how long he had been gone.

  A shaft of fear went through her. Had David run away? Where could he go? He had no cousins or uncles to run to in this country and he couldn’t have enough money to travel to his grandmother’s house in Ireland, because he didn’t do a paper round and she only gave him a shilling for sweets every now and then.