Love Will Find You: The Knights of Berwyck, A Quest Through Time

by Sherry Ewing

Flashes of memory raced across his mind. Arguing with the stubborn woman that he would see her to her long-lost love, although ’twas obvious to all that Killian and Ella had feelings for one another. Not that she had admitted such aloud. More visions flashed across his mind: traveling at dawn to take her to Henry de Rune; hiding in the forest so her son would not find them and waking up to the woman curled around his body as though she belonged there; traveling to Warkworth and Ella’s abduction from the Hermitage; planning her escape with the help of Ella’s servant; and finally professing their love to one another. Mayhap these memories were not as scrambled as he had just thought. They seemed perfectly clear now that he concentrated on them.

  Killian’s heart skipped a beat, remembering how they had made love on the forest floor, followed by his decision that, in order for them to have a life together, he must allow Ella the chance to change her son’s fate. How could he have known that he, too, would have the chance to live his life over again?

  As if on cue, the keep door opened and in walked Faramond, who took off his rain drench cape. Handing the garment to a servant, he made his way to his mother who received him with open arms. ’Twas obvious Killian had made the right decision, for there was no longer any animosity in Faramond’s demeanor toward the mother who gave him life.

  There was only one thing that continued to plague Killian and that was the fact Ella had another son before Faramond was even born. Mayhap he was just confused, for she had never mentioned anything from her past the first time she had traveled to Berwyck. He took a hard look at Conrad while he strode across the hall to envelope his brother in a fierce hug. The two men conversed for several minutes before Conrad rejoined a lady at one of the tables. Killian’s eyes narrowed as though looking at the lad for the very first time. By God’s Bones! What if…

  Ulrick gave Killian a shove with his shoulder. “You should go claim the next dance with her, Killian, before another sweeps her away,” the knight chuckled, before taking a sip of his ale as laughter from the other men chimed in.

  Killian’s glance slid to his friend and, whereas before he had denied that he knew what Ulrick had been speaking about, this time he would in no way partake in his banter.

  He downed his drink, slamming his goblet down upon the table. “I think I will do just that,” he said, before making his way toward the woman he cared for but who had much explaining to do!

  Her back was toward him and she jumped when he reached out to touch her elbow. Killian watched as she appeared to attempt to catch her breath.

  “Killian,” she exclaimed. “You startled me.”

  He peered down at her and wondered how she might explain herself. “My apologies, my lady. ’Twas not my intent to alarm ye. I only came tae ask for the privilege of the next dance.” He held out his hand for her to take.

  Her warm fingers touched the palm of his hand and a tingling sensation rushed up his arm. Bloody hell! What this woman did to him could not easily be explained. He led her into the middle of the floor to join the other dancers but he could see for himself that she appeared nervous. He could only imagine the reason why.

  “What are ye afraid of?” he asked.

  She missed a step and tumbled into his chest. He took advantage of her clumsiness and pulled her into his arms even while the remaining dancers blurred by them as they continued onward. He raised her chin so she had no choice but to look upon him.

  “I am terrified that once I tell you the rest of my story you will be angry with me. We should have spoken of this before we made love earlier but you near took my breath away. I could in no way deny you when there was nothing more that I wanted than to be in your arms.”

  “Then let us find a quiet place where we can converse in private so there are no further secrets between us,” he said as he began ushering her from the room.

  She halted before they reached the turret steps. “Bring Conrad.”

  “And Faramond?” he asked.

  “Nay!”

  “Why?” Killian raised a brow seeing how upset Ella was.

  Her eyes darted to her son across the room conversing with the laird of Berwyck. “He must never know…”

  “As you wish, my lady. I shall go fetch Conrad.” That she would wish her son to be privy to her confession practically confirmed what Killian had already surmised. Somehow, someway, Conrad was his son. Killian left her standing near the stairs before he made his way to the young man.

  He placed his hand on Conrad’s shoulder. “Yer mother wishes to have a private word with us,” he said, before Conrad excused himself from the lady he had been conversing with and the two men strode back to Ella.

  Killian’s heart beat a rapid staccato in his chest as they made their way to Amiria’s solar. Seeing the room empty, they entered and Ella quickly went to a nearby table to pour them all a chalice of wine. Once she offered them their cups, she went to stand near the fire before she motioned for them to take a seat.

  Conrad was the first to break the silence among them. “What is this all about, mother?” he asked before setting his cup down and leaning his arms upon his legs.

  Killian took a gulp of his wine before he, too, set his chalice down upon the table. “I believe yer mother is about tae tell us the rest of her story. Is this not so, Ella?”

  “Aye and I will first offer my apologies for not being able to tell you sooner, but I believed there to be much at stake.”

  Conrad turned to peer at Killian who only shrugged and waited for Ella to continue. Only God above knew how her son would react to what he would learn this day. Killian prayed he would also be calm enough to accept whatever Ella would at last reveal.

  Ella paced before the hearth, knowing this conversation would either break her connection to the two men who sat before her or would only strengthen their relationship.

  “You both know that I am not originally from this time. I have already told you both how or when I fell through Time on the first occasion and… well… also a second time where I found that I was a younger version of myself. I was given the chance to live a life in the twelfth-century and in order to accomplish this, there were certain sacrifices I had to make in order to be reunited with the one person I loved. I married and had… a child,” Ella hesitated to look at her son.

  Conrad smiled at her but when she shook her head, his grin faded. “What are you not saying, mother?”

  She took a deep breath before she continued. “I had a child… Faramond… but when my husband died and I told Faramond I was from the future, he called me a witch, casting me out from Hull and forbidding me from ever coming back again.”

  “I do not understand. My brother is two years younger than I am,” Conrad said before Killian interrupted.

  “Let her finish,” he said and nodded for Ella to continue. Ella stared upon Killian who appeared so calm. Would he remain so or would his Scottish temper put an end to whatever love he had held for her all these years? Ella only knew she was nervous and scared, feeling as though she was about to jump out of her skin.

  “I traveled from town to town never staying in one place for long, especially when I learned Faramond was searching for me. Apparently, he had fallen out of favor with the king and needed me to return to Hull in order to save his estate. Terrified, I learned to live off the land and ’twas not ’til I saved Katherine de Deveraux from a river and we made our way to Berwyck did I feel that mayhap I would one day be free of my own son and his ambitions for wealth and fame.”

  “This hardly sounds like my brother. Where do I fit in with this whole far-fetched tale?” Conrad grumbled, his brow crossed in confusion as he took another drink of his wine.

  “’Twas not until I had spoken with Jenna Sinclair that I had realized that ’twas time to meet the man I thought I had originally fallen through time for, Henry de Rune. Killian volunteered to take me to him.”

  A grunt left Killian. “Volunteered? I seem tae remember ’twas more like I felt obligated tae see ye tae safety so ye dinnae trav
el alone, even if ye knew ’twas wrong.”

  “I knew no such thing at the time, you stubborn Scot,” Ella retaliated. “If you recall back then, I thought I was still in love with Henry.”

  Killian grunted before reaching for his chalice. “If ye had only opened yer heart then we wouldnae have had tae travel anywhere and could have stayed here at Berwyck and wed!”

  “You of all people should know that I had to complete what I thought was my path to finding love!” she bellowed. “You also know that I did find it but with you!”

  “Aye. I know that now and as of just a few moments ago, I assumed the rest,” Killian said with a quick glance at Conrad.

  Ella stumbled back against the table, the pitcher of wine dangerously close to toppling over before she caught it. “You know…” she whispered.

  Killian rubbed the back of his neck but never took his eyes from his lady. “Ye kept yer secret well, even from me,” he muttered with a frown. “But aye… As I just said, I guessed.”

  Conrad stood and began to pace the room. “If I could interrupt this lovers spat—

  “Conrad!” Ella gasped out.

  Conrad held up his hand. “Mother, please… ’Tis not as though I have not known that the two of you,” he waved his hand between them, “have been not having some love affair for some time now. I am not blind nor am I a child any longer. ’Tis your sin, and it is you who must seek forgiveness with God.”

  “Ye will not dishonor yer mother, Conrad,” Killian warned, pointing his finger towards the young man. “There is still more for her tae tell ye.”

  Conrad gave a heavy sigh. “That is where I am confused. You are both talking about the Lady Jenna as though this was in the past when I know she has not long arrived at Berwyck. This whole traveling through Time business is almost too much to believe.”

  Ella watched when Killian stood and went to Conrad, placing his hand upon his shoulder. “Aye… yer mother speaks of the past and this is true. I have seen the proof myself, lad, when Lady Katherine first arrived. Her presence at Berwyck seems tae have linked this place tae those in another time who are searching for love. In yer mother’s case, I can only assume she was destined to save Lady Katherine and eventually make her way here.”

  Conrad went back to his seat, his hand shaking when he reached for his wine. “You still have not told me what I am missing here.”

  Ella went to take a small stool, placed it before her son and took his hands. “Conrad… you know I love you with all my heart,” she began.

  “Of course, mother, as I love you,” he said with a small smile.

  “Then let me finish my story.”

  “Does it have one of those happily ever after endings you used to tell me about in my youth?” Conrad asked while he fidgeted in his chair.

  Ella leaned forward to kiss his cheek. “I can only hope so.”

  “Then proceed.”

  Ella’s stare momentarily rested on Killian and her heart leapt inside her chest while she saw all the love he held for her shining in his magnificent yes.

  “Tell him, Ella.”

  She drew a heavy breath. “When Faramond came to Berwyck in search of me in our past, Killian agreed to take me to find the place where I would stumble into Henry upon the road. But things changed while we were traveling. I began to realize that I had not fallen through Time to meet Henry but to fall in love with Killian. He had always been kind to me whenever I traveled to Berwyck and we were friends. While we traveled, we declared our feelings for one another and made love.

  “But I was tormented that Faramond had become this horrible person. Killian understood what I was going through and, if I remember correctly, I said something about wishing I could change my past in order to save my son. I was wishing I had never told Faramond I was from the future because he could not fathom such an occurrence and believed ’twas sorcery when I claimed ’twas true.”

  Killian went to Ella, placing his hands upon her shoulder. “I came tae the conclusion that we could never have a life together when yer mother was so upset with Faramond and the man he had become. So… when we heard de Rune’s horse coming closer upon the road, we saw the Time gate open and I pushed yer mother through it so she could change her son’s future.”

  Conrad placed his head in his hands. “I still do not understand where I fit in to this insane conversation.”

  Ella took a deep breath. “The past blurred together with what was now my present. The difference was that, only now, I knew my purpose had grown larger than our original plan. I had to have my situation play out with Henry as it did in my past life so I could fall through time… again… to marry Simon and save my son by not telling him where I came from. But more importantly, before I could have a child with Simon, I needed to ensure the babe I unknowingly carried from my future life was safe. The child I had conceived with Killian. That child was you, Conrad. Killian is your father.”

  Ella watched the emotions wash across her son’s face and she waited for his anger to erupt.

  “What the bloody hell!” Conrad bellowed yanking his hands roughly from Ella’s grasp. He turned his hostile eyes to Killian. “How long have you known?”

  Killian gave a heavy sigh. “As I said, I only just surmised the fact a short while ago this eve. Since yer mother’s arrival earlier today, my memories have all returned tae recall our previous time together.”

  Conrad turned hostile eyes toward Ella and her heart cracked to see what she had done to her beloved son.

  “How could you make me believe that my father was dead all these years? That Lord Simon cared for me?” Conrad asked, his voice shaking with anger.

  “Lord Simon did care for you as much as he cared for Faramond. No man was ever prouder,” Ella said twisting her hands together.

  “And what of Killian? How could you have taken this knowledge away from him all these years and me as well?”

  “’Twas my greatest fear someone would put the pieces together that you were father and son. I had to conceal Killian was your father but, in every sense of the word, he has raised you to become the man you are today. If you look to your heart you will realize that, since you fostered with him, Killian has spent more time with you than I ever was allowed.”

  “You stole from us the fact that my father was very much alive!” Conrad bellowed.

  “And in a round about way, I sacrificed my own time with you in order for you to foster at Berwyck where I knew Killian resided.” Tears formed in her son’s eyes and Ella wished she could erase the pain she had caused. But what else could she do? Did she just trade one son’s destiny for another?

  Conrad wiped his eyes. “I will never forgive you,” he growled. “Go back to Hull, mother. You have no place here at Berwyck.”

  A sob tore from Ella’s lips as she watched her son begin to leave the chamber. “Conrad,” she cried out, but he refused acknowledge her, slid the bolt on the door once he reached it, and left without a backwards glance.

  “Oh, Killian! What have I done to you both,” she sobbed, before he lifted her from the stool and wrapped her in his arms. She clung to his strength, for he did not seem to be as upset with her as she thought he would be.

  “All will be well, Ella. Ye just need tae give him some time tae calm down and accept the truth,” Killian said, caressing her hair.

  “You must find him. Mayhap he will listen to you,” Ella said lifting her head from his chest to gaze upon at him. “Please tell me you will go look for him.”

  “Ye know I will, but I must know ye are going to be alright before I leave ye.”

  “Aye, but I cannot stay here. I will return to Hull to give Conrad time to a come to terms that you are his father.”

  A snort left Killian. “Ye will do no such thing. Yer place is here with us, not at Hull.”

  “I will not take Berwyck from my son. This is his home and I will not make this harder on him by staying where I am not wanted.”

  “Ye stubborn woman. Ye are wanted here by me!�
��

  “But Conrad…”

  “…will learn to deal with the situation with time. And we have all the time in the world, Ella, to now be together as a family.”

  “You forgive me for keeping my secret?” she asked in a breathy whisper, while praying Killian would not hold this against her.

  “I will admit I was confused and a bit angry when all my memories came storming inside my head today and I realized the truth of it. But there is nothing tae forgive, Ella. We have traveled through Time. Mayhap ’twas not done together but our lives were still intertwined and ye have given me a son. I cannae ask more from ye than that,” he said with a smile before kissing her forehead, “with the exception of finally becoming my wife.”

  Air rushed from Ella’s lungs as she realized she had not lost Killian even though he did not understand her desire to leave Hull to give Conrad the time he needed without her interference. She pulled on his tunic and stood on the tips of her toes to give him a quick kiss.

  “Go find our son,” she said and heard Killian’s chuckle. His smile lit a fire in her heart.

  “I like the sound of that.”

  “Go on with you then.”

  “As my lady commands,” Killian said with a bow before he left the room.

  Ella took several moments to compose herself and soon followed, making her way down the turret steps and out of the keep. She thought to find Kenna, Berwyck’s healer, in order to find out if there was anything else Ella needed to fear. But when she heard the raised voices of Conrad and Killian on the far end of the inner bailey, any further thoughts of staying at Berwyck fled. She needed to return to Hull. She would not anger Conrad any more than she already had. She could only pray that Killian would understand.

  Chapter 39

  Killian grabbed hold of Conrad’s arm and began ushering him towards the chapel. “Ye will keep yer voice down ’til we have a closed door between us and the rest of Berwyck,” he muttered, growing a bit impatient with the angry man next to him. “There is no need for everyone tae hear our family business.”