Never Say Never (Reapers MC: Shasta Chapter Book 3)

by Bijou Hunter

  Dione’s smile falls into a frown. “Why would you do that?”

  “Chick fights are fun.”

  “Not for the one getting her ass beat.”

  Uninterested in her scared chick routine, I shrug. “Well, I don’t know what to tell you.”

  “I don’t understand why you’re so mean,” she mumbles, scooting out of the booth. “I never treated you wrong. I was the only one telling you about the possible baby. Everyone else was going to keep it to themselves. Why am I the bad guy?”

  I glance at where she waits for a thank-you or an apology. I don’t have a fucking clue what she wants me to say.

  “Pom-Pom’s dick is available. Go tell him your rumors. I bet he’ll give you plenty of praise.”

  Dione’s pout goes into overdrive. I’ve hurt her feelings. She liked me. I’m mean. Same shit I get from Shelby.

  Of course, I’m fucking mean! No one in my entire damn life ever watched out for me. I killed and bled for the Skullz, and they tossed me away. Am I supposed to believe a sweet butt or biker princess will be any more loyal?

  THE WEIRDO

  I almost don’t join Shane, River, Taylor, and Kelsi at the clubhouse tonight. Avoiding Goliath is easier when we don’t frequent the same places. But when I imagine myself hanging out at home with the womenfolk, I worry I’m going soft.

  After Shane and River enter the Saloon, I wait in the parking lot for Taylor and Kelsi. The cold air gives me the creeps. I scan the woods and wonder what the Shasta Slasher is doing tonight. It’s been over a year since he killed someone. Is he satisfied for now? Does he have friends he hangs out with? Hell, he could be inside the clubhouse, drinking beer and flirting with the sweet butts.

  “Whatever you’re thinking, stop,” Taylor says after climbing off her Harley. “Chillax.”

  “I can’t,” I whimper, looking around nervously. “You’ll have to distract me.”

  Kelsi jumps off the Harley and takes Taylor’s hand. As they begin walking toward the door, I follow close behind. My mind is on a serial killer and how much I want to chop off his head.

  “Hugh is getting his reaper tattoo once he returns from the ride,” Kelsi announces, distracting me before we enter. “I want to watch him get inked, even if that means I have to sit stoned with him for hours.”

  “It doesn’t hurt too much,” Taylor lies. “I barely screamed in agony at all.”

  Going the honest route, I admit, “I whined the entire time. Almost passed out.”

  Kelsi frowns back at me, worried now for Hugh.

  “Hugh’s tough,” I say to reassure her.

  I must do a bad job because she squeezes Taylor’s hand. Once we enter, she jumps nearly a foot off the ground at the sight of Goliath charging at us. I’m surprised she doesn’t end up in Taylor’s arms like a frightened cartoon character.

  “We need to talk,” he growls at me.

  Taylor must grow a few inches when she steps between us. “What’s the problem?”

  Still behind her, I wrap my arms around her body. “You’re so sexy when you act this way. I can see why Kelsi loves your snatch.”

  Taylor wants to remain stony-faced, but she smirks at me while Kelsi looks around for help from a cock owner.

  “We’ll talk outside where it’s more private,” I tell Goliath before whispering in Taylor’s ear, “If I need help, I’ll blow my rape whistle.”

  Taylor frowns back at me. “I can’t hear that shit in here with the music playing.”

  “Then watch us on the security cameras. Damn, you might be sexy, but you can’t problem-solve for shit.”

  While Taylor rolls her eyes, Kelsi whispers that her woman is a great problem-solver.

  I signal my brother—ready to bulldoze the giant—and River—looking sleepy, which is his “I’m about to kill a motherfucker” expression—that I’ll be right outside. They aren’t happy, but it’s not as if they think Goliath has the balls—as mighty as they may be—to hurt me in their vicinity.

  I follow the grizzly out to the front parking lot, where he swings around and scares the shit out of me with his raging eyes. “This is bullshit.”

  “Huh?” I ask, wondering how he can look so terrifying yet kissable. Why does this man make me so horny?

  “Rumor has it that you’re carrying my kid.”

  “Who told you that?” I ask, wondering how my news got out so quickly.

  Hesitating, he only says, “People.”

  “Well, okay.”

  “So, are you?”

  His snarly expression makes me want to lie, but I refuse to show weakness. “Yes.”

  “And were you going to tell me?”

  “Yeah, when I was farther along. A lot of pregnancies end naturally early on. Why make a big deal over something that might not happen?”

  Goliath narrows his eyes. “Sure.”

  “What?”

  “I don’t think you were ever gonna tell me.”

  “And you wouldn’t have noticed when I was super fat in six months?”

  “I don’t know,” he says, backing away as if my logic struck a blow. “You could have just said it was another guy’s.”

  “Why are you so angry?”

  “How come you didn’t tell me?” he demands, back in his roaring bear mode. “How come I gotta hear it from a sweet butt?”

  “Why are you acting as if you’ve been done wrong?”

  “Why did you come out there that day? Was it just to get knocked up?”

  “Yes and no,” I admit with a shrug. “In my head, you were going to go crazy for me. In the beginning, we’d mostly have a fling because you have commitment issues. Then at some point during our fuck sessions, I’d get pregnant, and you’d realize how no one could ever satisfy you like I do. Then we’d live happily ever after, you, me, and our kid.”

  Sighing, I back up. “Except it turned out that you weren’t crazy about me, and I got knocked up right away. I blame the rendering plant,” I say and then add, “For the pregnancy, not the part where you didn’t like me.” When I see him frowning so mean, I decide to get angry. “And if you’re so worried about knocking up a random chick, then maybe you need to wear a fucking condom. You’re the one with all the sex experience. That’s on you.”

  “Bullshit.”

  “Nomp.”

  “Don’t make fun of me.”

  “You started it. Saying I’m a fake bitch who used you to make a kid. Like I couldn’t just buy sperm off the fucking internet if all I wanted was some guy’s spunk. You’re the brat, not me. I’m a fucking saint.”

  “Are you done?”

  “Bitching at you?” I ask and then shrug. “Depends. Do you intend to give me more shit?”

  “You should have told me.”

  “I planned to let you know later when it was too late for you to ask for an abortion.”

  “I don’t care what you do.”

  “Then why are you freaking out?”

  Goliath leans down, his face now only inches from mine. “I don’t like people talking shit about me behind my back. The last time that happened, I ended up in prison.”

  “We’ve gone over this. I wouldn’t have you arrested, Goliath. I’d just have my brother kill you. Since I didn’t do that when you hurt my feelings, why the fuck would I do it now?”

  “I don’t know,” he says, and I suspect there’s a part of him that doesn’t even know why he’s so pissed. “You don’t want me in the kid’s life.”

  “I can’t imagine you’d want to be in the kid’s life.”

  “See?” he says, pointing his big finger angrily at me. “That right there is why I think you planned this whole thing.”

  “You’re such a butthurt baby,” I mutter, stepping back. “The world doesn’t revolve around you. It revolves around me. And I went to your trailer because I liked you. I had all these romantic notions in my fat head about how you liked me. Then I got a wake-up call and left you alone. I didn’t try to get revenge or make you feel bad. I asked my bro
ther not to fuck with you, even though it’s his job to hurt anyone who hurts me. Like I said, I’m a fucking saint.”

  “You’re sneaky. That’s what you are.”

  “Whatever.”

  “You’re so full of shit,” he says, erasing the space between us. “You know I can’t force you to let me see the kid. You know I can’t make you do anything because you’ll just sic your brother on me. You’re the princess with all the power. I’m just a fucking piss-fuck.”

  “I’m going to say this one time, and then you’re going to leave me alone. Do you understand, fucking piss-fuck?” I grumble, giving him my most intimidating scowl. “I didn’t go to your trailer to play with you or to use your sperm. I wanted you to be my first because I liked you. Yeah, my interest was superficial, but fuck you. It’s not as if you let me into your trailer because of my sparkling personality.”

  Goliath crosses his massive arms as if offended that I didn’t realize he was, in fact, all about personalities and brainpower. He’s a deep thinker, dammit!

  Wanting to return to my friends and brother, I get to my point, “So we fucked, and we made a kid. If you want to be its father, then do it. I liked having a dad growing up, so I hope my kid has one too. But if you don’t want to be in its life, don’t do it. The kid will have plenty of men to watch out for it. There is no conspiracy against you. We didn’t work out, but that doesn’t mean I hate you. You’re the one acting like a bitch. Now knock it off, or I will avoid you. Then if you want to see the kid, you’ll have to go through my brother. That ought to be a ball of fucking fun.”

  I start walking past him when he grabs my bicep. Staring up into his beautiful, gray eyes, I dare him to say something worth listening to. All his bruised-ego bullshit doesn’t interest me. We’re not friends. I haven’t told anyone about the baby who wasn’t tight with me. I won’t apologize for not breathlessly running to share the news with a stranger. And that’s all he really is to me now.

  Goliath doesn’t speak up. He wants to punish me, even if he doesn’t know why.

  “You’re a big guy, Dean,” I say as his fingers unwrap from my arm. “With all the weight you carry around, knocking that chip off your shoulder would probably lighten the load.”

  I don’t wait for him to tell me how he’s the most easygoing shithead that I’ll ever meet. Walking away makes me feel like a super badass bitch, unwilling to bow to an angry man’s crap. I’m so liberated! Nothing will keep me down! Yay for vagina power!

  THE CHAPTER WHERE A GRAVE GETS A YELLOW SHOWER

  THE GOLIATH

  I’ve been on edge since the cops pinched me, and I realized I’d been done wrong by my club. Nothing can ever make me feel different. I don’t trust anyone wearing a vest. I hate the sound of motorcycles. I can’t even be around the sweet butts without assuming they’ll rat me out.

  That’s why I grab my gun when I hear a Harley approaching the trailer. Peering through the shades, I spot River pull up the dirt road and park at a clearing. Logically, I know he wouldn’t hit me straight on. He’s sneaky. Hell, he blew Cum Shot’s head off through a window. One second, my old VP was alive. The next second, his brains were all over the wall. Not a hint of warning, I’m sure. That’s how River works, so him walking casually toward the trailer should be a relief.

  Except I only feel edgier when I open the door. My club president steps inside and takes a quick glance around the place. I keep it tidy, just like I kept my cell in prison. I’m not a slob despite what people think. I bet Shelby expected worse when she came over. Fuck, why does my every thought turn to her?

  “It’s come to my attention,” River says as he sits at the kitchenette, “that you don’t feel comfortable with the Reapers.”

  “Who told you that shit?”

  “You have a loud voice and talk in public. I don’t want to name names, but three different people told me that you weren’t happy.”

  “Fuck that.”

  River smiles in that lazy hippie way I used to think meant he was stoned. Thanks to Hugh, I now know the easygoing routine is a con. Was that little blond shit the one who ratted me out to the Reapers?

  “You were a top guy in the Skullz,” River says, telling me something I already know. “The guys still around from the old club talk positively about you.”

  “People say what they think you want to hear.”

  “Not all people. There are a few people who are always straight with me. Those people say you were like a papa bear, watching out for the guys. They also said Fuse and Cum Shot weren’t the kinds of men to appreciate proactive members.”

  Narrowing my eyes, I distrust all this praise.

  River only smiles again. “But the Reapers aren’t the Skullz. I’m not worried about you trying to take over. Shit, if you overthrew me, Ellsberg would end you before my funeral. That isn’t an issue, but I can’t have you sulking.”

  “I ain’t sulking.”

  “You’re hiding out here in the trailer when not working.”

  “I do shit.”

  “Name three things,” he says while lazily crossing one long leg over the other.

  “I go to the Saloon.”

  “Yeah, and talk with Hugh and no one else. I don’t sense you’re shy.”

  “So, you’re my mom now? Is that how it works with the Reapers?”

  “I’m going to be a dad. You know that, right?” he asks, and I give him a nod. “I want my kid to grow up in a stable town. That happens when I have strong members. A lot of the new guys are young. Early twenties, still dumb. They’re loyal, but none of them can think beyond their asses. Back in Ellsberg, there’s a nice mix of older and younger guys. Different skills and experience levels. I want the same qualities in Shasta. Instead, I have an experienced guy hiding from the rest of the club because he thinks we might stab him in the back.”

  “I’m not hiding,” I grumble, unable to keep my mouth shut.

  “Fine. Maybe prison changed you. Whatever the reason, I don’t see the old SGT-at-Arms in you. I see a man who doesn’t know his place.”

  “And you came here to compliment me, so I’ll be nicer to everyone?”

  “No, I came here to see if you actually want to do more than the piddly-ass shit I’ve given you since your release? I know you used to oversee the guys, looking for threats in town, big-picture stuff. Keeping tabs on a few dealers is below your paygrade.”

  River taps the table while I watch him. I don’t know how to respond to his comments. I feel like he’s setting me up for a fall. I also sense this three-day road trip shit is gonna seal my fate either way.

  “I’ll do whatever the club wants me to do,” I finally say rather than push for details.

  “Playing hard to get. Interesting,” he says, scratching at his neat beard. “Is that what your deal with Shelby is about? Do you think acting disinterested will make her want you more? Or do you not actually like her?”

  “I like her fine.”

  “But only fine.”

  “Fucking her was good,” I say and then wonder if I really am suicidal.

  “No doubt. She liked your dick. Maybe that’s the problem. She isn’t slutty, so she put too much romantic crap into what is better left as a hookup situation.”

  “Huh?”

  “Some people aren’t meant to be together, but that doesn’t mean they don’t fit right sex-wise. Like Utah and Hugh. They can’t stand spending more than a few days in the same house apparently, but they like hooking up. I think that was Shelby’s mistake. She wants to act romantic like a girl, but she’s horny like a guy.”

  “Are you talking out loud or asking me shit?”

  “Both. I want you to be more involved in the club, but I think that stuff with Shelby created issues. I’m saying there’s no reason you two can’t hook up and have fun without expecting more than that. Maybe I’m wrong. Still, I assume the reason you haven’t been fucking sweet butts for the last few weeks is that you’re hung up on Shelby’s pussy.”

  “I fuck p
lenty of sweet butts.”

  “They talk, Goliath,” he says, looking like he wants to laugh. “Those girls keep score and share notes. If you were nailing any of them, they’d mention it. But maybe you got a woman in town. Except I think I’d know that too. I’ve got a solid network of spies set up.”

  Feeling on the spot, I’m not sure how to answer River. His easygoing routine might be a con, but he makes me feel like honesty is the best bet. “Shelby is a beautiful woman. No doubt about that, but she’s high maintenance, and I’m too fucking old to be chasing crazy.”

  “I get it. The thing is I don’t believe Shelby wants a real relationship. She’s got needs. You know, fucking,” he says, tapping his fingers on the table. “But all these years, she hasn’t found someone she wanted to fuck. Then she did, and she added a bunch of hearts and flowers to the mix. That’s too much pressure. For you and her. I’m just saying since you’ll be around each other in the future, maybe stick to hookups.”

  “Did she tell you all that?”

  “Shelby tells the Fearsome Foursome everything. She also tells her mother almost everything. Nothing that happens with you and her will be a secret. She’s got as big a mouth as the sweet butts.”

  “And you got no problem with me fucking her?”

  “Shelby isn’t a ditz. She’s weird and sometimes crazy, but she isn’t stupid. She knows what she wants. If she wants to fuck you, why would I give her shit? She has my back, and I have hers. Now Shane will probably always hate you for defiling his beloved sister. However, he’s too busy with diapers to do more than grumble about it.”

  “With her having my kid, I guess I oughta stay on her good side.”

  “Just never ask for a blowjob,” River says and checks his phone. “That will shut shit down quick. Oh, and unless you have a tiny dick, she won’t do anal. Years ago, she swore on her favorite sandwich that she would never stick large objects in her ass. I think she would have mentioned if you were packing a pinkie dick, so anal’s off the table.”

  “She’s pregnant.”

  “I know.”