Timing

by Mary Calmes

  Later in the evening, back outside, I was having a slice of red velvet cake, listening to Charlotte’s uncle talk about the day she was born and what her daddy had said to him, Rand moved in beside me. The bite I was ready to eat was taken from me, along with the fork.

  He grinned lazily, brushing against me. “It’s good, ain’t it?”

  I could feel the warmth radiating off him. “Sorry?”

  “Don’t you think?”

  Any thought that had been in my head had been abandoned the second he gave me his full attention.

  “Stef?”

  “What?”

  “The cake?”

  “Cake?”

  “Yeah.” His smile made his eyes sizzle. “The cake you’re eating. It’s really good.”

  Watching him eat off my plate was what had been good. The muscles in his jaw, the line of his throat, the way he licked his lips—all of it combined had short-circuited my brain.

  He leaned forward, his voice dropping low. “You like watching me.”

  “Yessir, I do,” I said, licking my lips, my eyes narrowing. “And you like looking at me, too, don’t you?”

  He sucked in his breath. “Yes, I do.”

  “Good,” I said before I levered myself off the wall and walked back toward the house.

  “Where are you going? I thought you were gonna play with me?” He sighed when he caught me at the back door with a hand on my bicep.

  I looked down at his hand on my arm. “Can’t do this out here where someone might see us. What would they say?”

  “Who?”

  “Anyone.”

  “Jesus, Stef you don’t have to get all serious alluva sudden. Do you even know how to play?”

  “So this is a game?” I clarified with a chill in my voice.

  “You’re bein’ an ass.”

  “Let go.”

  “No.” He smiled at me, tightening his grip, stepping in close to me so his chest was against my shoulder and I had to tilt my head back to hold his gaze. “I ain’t lettin’ go.”

  “You have to,” I assured him, and for some reason I was flooded with sadness.

  His eyes locked on mine, and when I eased out of his grip, he did, after all, let me go.

  MUCH TO Charlotte’s annoyance, no one was leaving. I knew she wanted her quiet alone time with me, but by eleven, two hours after the dinner had officially ended, the entire wedding party and a few assorted cousins were still sitting around in Rand’s living room. I was stretched out on the couch, listening to everyone talk and laugh, the alcohol making for interesting conversation.

  “Here you go, guys,” Ben said as he took a seat beside me, having used getting another round of beers as an opportunity to swap places. I knew that sitting next to strangers made him uncomfortable—he wasn’t a big extrovert. He felt better flopping down between me and Charlotte.

  “Thanks,” I said, liking the way his thigh rested against mine. It spoke volumes about how comfortable he was with me. The fact that I was gay and he wasn’t didn’t matter in the least.

  “I should have brought clothes with me too,” he groused, turning his head to look at me.

  I shrugged, feeling good. I had taken a shower and was now sitting there in a white cotton button-down, white T-shirt, and jeans, barefoot, with my arms back over the seat; I was ready to drink or talk or do whatever anyone wanted. I was at their disposal.

  “Tell me again what’s with the dress shirt,” Charlotte pressed me.

  “I told you, I’m short clothes.”

  “Which has like never ever happened to you before, care to explain?”

  “I’m getting old and forgetful.”

  Her scowl was immediate, and she would have said something, but the doorbell chimed and Clarissa got up to get it. She returned leading four women into our midst. It turned out to be Charlotte’s cousin Bethany, from Lubbock, and she had brought three friends with her.

  “Those are the girls I told you about,” Charlotte said under her breath, leaning forward to talk to her brother, who sat beside the couch in an overstuffed wingback chair. “At least two of them might actually want to live way out here in the boonies with you, cowboy, so don’t mess up.”

  He laughed at her. “Is that right? You’re setting me up the night before you get married?”

  “A true matchmaker never sleeps,” she assured him, inhaling. “Well, at least you smell good for once, not like horses.”

  The man’s scent was a hundred times better than good. The aroma of musk and soap was rolling off him. He looked and smelled good enough to eat.

  “Well, let’s bring on the buffet.” Rand waggled his eyebrows at her, his eyes flicking to mine before returning to his sister.

  “Here,” Ben yawned, shoving a Wii controller into my hand. “I wanna kick your ass at tennis again, alright?”

  “I’m sorry?” I asked him, grinning as I stood up. “When did you kick my ass before?”

  As I played, I could not stop glancing over at Rand. His warm smile lifted his eyes, crinkling their corners and turning them a startling aegean blue. One of the girls, Gillian, a pretty brunette with creamy olive skin and big dark eyes, put her hand on his forearm as she talked to him about hunting. Apparently, she wanted him to take her. She preferred to hunt wild boar, but whitetail deer or mule interested her as well. He seemed pleasantly surprised as he listened to her talk about growing up on a ranch.

  “Christ, Stef, are you even paying attention?”

  I wasn’t, no. When my eyes flicked back to Rand and the woman who wanted to bear his children, I was startled to find him staring.

  “Can I play the winner?” he asked me.

  I swallowed to make sure I could speak. “Sure.”

  “Come on,” he said as he invited all the girls to sit behind us on the couch. As he walked by me, he put a hand in my hair, rubbing the back of my head quickly, gently, and the touch, coupled with the warmth in his eyes, made my heart hurt.

  Ben beat me because I could not focus to save my life. I took a seat on the floor, not wanting to wedge myself in between the girls, and when Rand lost as well, he sank down beside me. When the girls offered to make room for him, he shook his head, leaning his knee into mine.

  “I’m good here,” he assured them before he leaned sideways, his mouth hovering close to my ear. I could feel his moist breath down the side of my neck. “Don’t worry, baby, you’re the only thing here I’m interested in.”

  Baby? I sucked in my breath. On what planet was I worried? When my head swiveled to look at him, he waggled his eyebrows for me.

  “You should see your eyes,” he whispered, his smile making his eyes glitter. “How pissed off are you?”

  I got up quickly to go to the kitchen.

  “Hey, Stef,” Rand called after me, “bring me back another beer, will you?”

  “Me too,” Ben chimed in. “Thanks, hon.”

  I shot Rand a look over my shoulder, and he snorted out a laugh. I hit the swinging kitchen door with both hands. He would be lucky if I came back without a firearm. I was standing out on the enclosed porch when I heard a sound from behind me. Rand was slouching in the doorway when I turned to look.

  His eyes were hot, and I saw the muscles working in his jaw. “I had no idea you were so possessive, Mr. Joss.”

  “I already told you that I don’t like to be teased and I don’t like to be laughed at.”

  “Yeah, well, so what?” He shrugged. “You need to learn not to take yourself so goddamn serious and stop bein’ such a pain in the ass.”

  My eyes felt huge as I looked at him.

  “Stop tryin’ to push me away ’cause I’m crazy about you.”

  What was the proper response for that?

  “You could say you’re nuts about me too.”

  “That’s awfully presumptuous,” I said without thinking.

  He chuckled, moving closer. “Jesus, how did I ever fall for such a coldhearted man?”

  I was often accused of having
no heart at all, because even though my friends saw it, the men I went to bed with never did.

  “Shit, you’re too cool for me, Stefan Joss.”

  I just stood there, staring at him as he got closer and closer.

  “Or maybe not, huh? Maybe you’re not as unaffected as you pretend to be.”

  I cleared my throat. “Better get back to the girls, Rand,” I said, shoving my hands in my jeans, taking a quick breath. “They’ll be missing you.”

  “Shut up,” he growled at me, hands on my shoulders so I couldn’t bolt. “God, I’ve never met anyone who needed a kick in the ass more than you.”

  I stared up into his eyes as he slowly lifted his hand and placed his palm on my cheek.

  “You think I’m like all those others guys that can’t really see you, but I’m not. I know you better than that. I’ve seen you with Charlotte and my family, I watched you save Ben the other day, put yourself between him and my idiot cousin, and with me…. God, Stef, with me you’re so gentle and sweet—”

  “Now wait,” I warned him, trying to tug away from him to no avail. He was not letting go. “I may be many—”

  “Stop,” he ordered. “Last night, when you were lookin’ at me, kissin’ me… I saw you clear as day, Stefan Joss, and even though you don’t think you trust me or even wanna trust me… you do. You already do.”

  I shivered hard.

  “You ain’t gotta be strong all the time.” He exhaled, lifting his other hand to rest on the side of my neck, touching the pulse beating wildly at the base of my throat. “’Cause you don’t have to be on your guard with me. I ain’t laughin’ at you, I’m laughin’ along with you, and you need to learn the difference.”

  “Rand—”

  “Teasin’ you is all kinds of fun,” he rumbled, the backs of his fingers sliding up and down my throat.

  I wanted him to put his hands all over me, so I bit the inside of my cheek to make sure I didn’t give voice to the desire.

  “I don’t want you to worry no more about them girls.”

  I coughed before clearing my throat. “I was never worried.”

  “Like hell you weren’t.”

  “Rand—”

  “You done staked your claim, boy. Ain’t nobody takin’ that away from you.”

  He was insane. “I did no such thing.”

  “You wanted to sit in my lap.”

  He had no idea how much I had wanted that.

  “I wouldn’t’ve minded at all.”

  I pulled free of him and took several steps back. “Really? That would have been all right with you if I just outed you in front of everyone?”

  “It would’ve been better’n the silent treatment I got since this afternoon.”

  “Rand, that’s stupid. I’ll be gone in two days. Why mess up your life for nothing?”

  “So this is nothing to you.”

  “No—you just—”

  “Wait,” he ordered me, moving forward, the mountain of hard muscle that was Rand invading my personal space. “Just, let’s try a truce again, for the rest of tonight and tomorrow. I just don’t wanna fight with you no more.”

  As I stared up at him, the light from the enclosed porch gave off just enough of a glow for me to see the hope and need in the big man’s eyes.

  “Okay.”

  “Okay?” The smile came blazing back to life, wicked and hot.

  “Yeah, fine, whatever.”

  He grabbed hold of the front of my shirt, fisting his hand on the collar. “You should see how you’re lookin’ at me.”

  “How am I looking at you?”

  “Like you wanna be kissed.”

  “Are you drunk?”

  He looked me up and down, missing nothing, eyes settling on my lips. “Your bottom lip is wider than your top one—just made to be bit.”

  “Rand—”

  He lifted a hand, turned, and disappeared back into the house. I was surprised that he left me and just as surprised when he reappeared on the porch seconds later.

  “What are you doing?”

  He held up an olive oil cruet and flipped a dishtowel over his shoulder.

  I pointed at him. “I get to go home, cowboy, but you’re the one that gets to live with it if anybody sees us. You ready for that?”

  “I’m ready; you’re the one who’s chicken.”

  “Is that right?” I asked, walking backward away from him, toward the shadows where the dryer was, and beyond. “Maybe for that, you get to wait to get laid until all those people clear out of your living room.”

  “I can’t wait,” he said, following me, stalking me. “You smell so good, Stef, and lookin’ at you all stretched out on the couch, that beautiful body just needin’ some attention, and those jeans… how are you even moving in them?”

  “Come see if you can get them off.”

  He charged over to me. “Oh, I’ll get ’em off,” he promised.

  I leaped at him, arms and legs wrapping around him tightly, kissing him savagely as his hands cupped my ass, grinding his groin into mine. It felt so good—the friction, the way he rubbed against me, how rough he was as he kissed me.

  “Fuck, Stef,” he growled at me, shoving me up against the washing machine, both hands on the fly of my jeans. Then his voice went up sharply. “Shit!”

  He had to lunge sideways to catch the glass cruet and keep it from falling off the dryer, and the ridiculousness of the situation made me laugh.

  “What?”

  I tried not to giggle. “We’re outside sneakin’ around like a couple of kids, ready to use olive oil as lube, no less.”

  “Yeah, it’s hysterical.” He smirked at me before he spun me around and pushed me forward, steering me past the dryer to a small folding table I hadn’t noticed in the dark. Seconds later, the snap of my jeans surrendered to his dexterous fingers, and the zipper followed. All I heard was his indrawn breath before I was bent forward over the table, my jeans and underwear shucked roughly to my knees. I parted my legs as far as I could and let my head fall back.

  “Rand.” I trembled when I felt his slippery fingers coating my crease.

  “Say I can. Tell me it’s okay.”

  “You know it’s okay.”

  “You’re so beautiful, Stef. I mean it. I ain’t never seen the likes of you.”

  He rubbed his face in my hair at the same moment his oily hand wrapped around my cock. A hoarse moan tore out of me.

  “I love the noises you make,” he said, his voice a throaty whisper as he prodded against my entrance. “Fuckin’ love ’em.”

  I could feel the muscles in my ass clenching and unclenching, ready for him, wanting him, needing him. “Fuck me.”

  “Yessir.” He exhaled as he thrust inside, sheathing himself in me, the burn white-hot for seconds before the pleasure twisted quickly into bliss.

  He felt so good. I was so full, and his cock buried inside me felt somehow more intimate than it had ever felt with anyone else. “Rand.” I barely got his name out.

  “God, Stef, your body just swallows my cock and then holds it so fuckin’ tight… how is that even… baby,” he moaned, sliding in and out of me, stroking deep, the movement sensual and slow. The pace of his movement let me know that he wanted to feel all of me squeezing all of him.

  I pushed back as he pushed in, the two of us rocking together hard, the sound of skin slapping on skin filling the open space. The fingers tracing my lips were salty when I tasted them, and Rand let out a harsh groan when I sucked his thumb inside my mouth.

  “Christ, I have never wanted anyone this bad,” he almost snarled, tangling his hand in my hair only to yank my head back hard, making my back arch as he shoved into me, stretching me tight. The angle was perfect, and he stroked over my gland, causing a hoarse moan to well up from deep inside me.

  I felt my balls tighten, heat gathering at the base of my spine as the strokes became harder, pounding thrusts before I was lifted and twisted sideways, folded in half, his hand like a vise around the back
of my neck. Rand slid his hand to the small of my back and held me there, anchored, the hammering thrusts pushing up as I was forced down. Every gliding stroke nailed my prostate. I couldn’t scream—only panting came out.

  His balls slapped against my ass, his thighs plastered to mine as he pushed in and out of my clenching hole, fucking me so hard, so deep. I writhed on his cock, and I heard the sharp intake of breath.

  “Fuck yeah… come for me. You’re fuckin’ drippin’, Stef… you’re so hard in my hand… let go, just let go.”

  His name tore from my throat in a strangled whisper, and semen splashed the floor at my feet. The muscles in my ass clamped down on him, gripping his cock tight, and I instantly felt my insides filled with heat.

  “Stef!” He got out my name before I was yanked up roughly by my hair, and arms like iron wrapped tight around me. His face was buried in my shoulder, and I registered the moisture seconds later.

  “It’s okay,” I soothed him, trembling hard, so thankful to be held.

  “I’m not….” he started, but couldn’t continue.

  I knew he wasn’t crying; it was simply that the emotions were overwhelming, the pleasure so intense that there was no way to process it without breaking down just a little.

  “I don’t wanna let go,” he said, his mouth opening on the side of my neck, sucking hard.

  The man really enjoyed leaving marks on me. “You gonna stay inside of me ’til you go soft?” I smiled, letting my head bump against his, my body boneless in his embrace.

  “Stef!” I heard Charlotte yell from inside.

  “I guess not.” He chuckled, and because he was still buried inside me, plastered to my back, I felt the rumble spread through me like a ripple on the surface of a lake until my entire body vibrated with his happiness.

  When he slid out of me, I had to grip the edge of the table to keep myself standing. Everything in me wanted to beg him to stay buried to his balls in my ass.