Trying to Survive (The Kiser #1)

by Hannah Davenport

  Looking down at my phone, I typed, No, I’m not really a shopper. My friend and I go out once every couple of months.

  Really? Seams strange for a woman. Who’s the friend?

  Maybe the women you know, but not us, and it’s none of your business who the friend is.

  How do you know the women I know? Are you out with a man? I wanted to laugh at that. I’ve only been with one man my entire life, and there hasn’t been anyone since his death.

  I don’t. Who is this?

  You didn’t answer my other question.

  You didn’t answer mine either. I waited, but never received anything else. Shrugging, I found a dress along with a nice pair of boots that would complement it. I loved wearing dresses with boots, it was very comfortable.

  “So how did the texting go?” Megan asked as we made our way to the food court.

  “When I asked his name and wouldn’t tell him who I was with, he stopped.” I might sound nonchalant, but I couldn’t get the text messages off of my mind. Who could it possibly be? Who could be texting me and how did he get my number. As reluctant as I was, I’ll admit that it was very exciting.

  “Huh.” That was all she said. We shopped for a couple more hours after lunch and then decided to head home.

  ****

  “Mom, where are you?” Austin yelled, coming in the front door.

  “In the kitchen.” Walking in, he took a seat at the bar. It was Friday night and he should be going out. I needed to start spending more time alone so when he left for college it wouldn’t be such a shock. I would never tell him but I dreaded it so bad, him leaving. However, there is no way I’d ever ask him to stay. I want him to go.

  “What are you doing tonight?” He asked as he grabbed a cookie and stuffed it in his mouth.

  “I have plans to take a hot bath and then curl up on the couch and finish reading my book.” I wiggled my eyebrows at him. “What about you?”

  “I thought I would see if Kaitlyn wanted to catch a movie later.”

  “That sounds good. You should give her a call.” He sat there in silence for a few minutes, and I tried to act as if I didn’t mind him leaving, because I didn’t. I just knew he was trying to read my body language for any clues to see if I was telling him the truth.

  “Are you sure you don’t mind?” He asked as he grabbed another cookie.

  “Of course not. I wouldn’t be much company anyway. I’m half way through my book and I hope to finish it tonight. It’s just getting to the good part.” I said, smiling.

  “Okay, I’ll go call her. Thanks mom.” He pulled out his cell and headed down the hallway.

  Lying in a hot bath later that evening, I had my kindle in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. This has always been my favorite pastime, even when Graysen was alive. The book was getting interesting when I heard my cell chirp. I tried to ignore it, but with Austin out on a date, I couldn’t. What if it was him and something had happened? Getting out, I dried off and found my nightgown, not caring that it was only 8:30 pm. Grabbing my phone, I swiped the screen as I made my way to the kitchen to refill my wine.

  I’m Colin, who were you shopping with today? Him again? I thought about ignoring the text but I’ll admit, I felt a tingle of excitement seeing it.

  I was out with my friend Megan. I hit the send button, smiling to myself. I now have a name to go with the number, and it was Colin.

  Awe, I see. Your husband at work? I felt a pang in my chest. I wish he were. Not sure if I wanted to continue this conversation, I made my way to the couch and had another drink of wine. You still there?

  Sorry, no husband. I reluctantly replied.

  Boyfriend? Boyfriend! HA! If he only knew. Okay, I may feel excited by his text, but he’s certainly being bold for someone I’ve never met before.

  Why are you asking me all these questions? I don’t know you and you obviously don’t know me. What do you want? If he wants to be bold, then I can be bold. I’ve never been known as a pushover, that’s for sure.

  Just to talk. I told you who I am. I snorted at that. How many Colin’s are in the world?

  Just your first name. Like that means anything to me.

  Right, like you don’t know who I am. What?! What an asshole! This was fun in the beginning, but I don’t have to take shit from an unknown jerk!

  Sure, I know you. You’re the cocky jackass that text random women.

  Whatever sweetheart. Seriously? The nerve of that jerk! I could almost laugh at the thought of getting into an argument with someone I don’t know, someone I’ve never met before. This is stupid!

  Bye asshole. I hit send and threw my phone down on the couch.

  The nerve of that man! I couldn’t help pacing back and forth. Who does he think he is? Texting me, and then acting as if I knew him. Ass! My relaxing night was over! I drunk the rest of my wine, and then decided to have a rum and coke. I alternated from being mad, and then laughing at the foolishness of the situation for about fifteen minutes before I heard my phone ring. Grabbing it and smashing the talk button, “Hello?” I said in an irritated voice.

  “Sorry.” The male voice coming through the phone sent deep tendrils of anxiety with a hefty dose of lust through my body. His deep baritone just oozed sex appeal, and he had only muttered one word. Trying to calm my racing heart and slow my breathing, I finally cleared my head.

  “Excuse me?” I said, my irritation returning after the shock of hearing his voice.

  “I’m sorry. That was very rude of me to assume you knew who I was.” Damn straight, it was rude! I realized with a start that I had cussed more today than I had the last year of my life. However, with his apology I felt my anger draining out of me.

  “Fine, you’re forgiven. Thanks for calling. Bye now.”

  “Wait!” I put the phone back up to my ear, wondering what he would say next. I half wanted to hang up, and half listen to him.

  *****

  I paced around the living room. I had never had any woman talk to me the way Carlana just had. She still acted as if she didn’t know who I was. Could it be possible? Just because everyone in New York knew me, doesn’t mean that everyone else did. However, my name a face always found it’s way to the cover of some magazine several times a month after being voted most eligible bachelor last year. Every woman I knew read those magazines. There was something about this woman, I couldn’t get her off my mind and she had just called me an asshole. Okay, I am an asshole, I always have been but nobody besides Matt would ever tell me so.

  Grabbing my phone, I started to type her another message but somehow I knew she wouldn’t answer. So instead of texting, I dialed her number. While it rang, I decided I would apologize. I never do that but it should work. She will get over it and then we can get the pretending out of the way. “Hello?”

  “Sorry,” I muttered.

  “Excuse me?” She still sounded irritated. Racking my brain for something to say, I said the first thing that came to mind.

  “I’m sorry. That was very rude of me to assume that you knew who I was.” There, that should do it. All women like apologies even I know that.

  “Fine, you’re forgiven. Thanks for calling. Bye now.” The smile left my face and I panicked. She should be talking, flirting with me by now.

  “Wait!” I said in a rush and then chastised myself for sounding anxious.

  “What?” She certainly didn’t sound very friendly.

  “Can we talk for a few minutes?” I started pacing again until I saw the bottle of Scotch sitting on the bar. Walking over, I poured some in a glass and took a seat on the couch.

  “That depends, can you not be an ass?” I found myself smiling at her comment.

  “I’m not sure, I’ve been told on several occasions that I am one.” I hoped she could hear the humor in my voice. It worked, I heard her snicker on the other end.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to point it out if you start acting like one again.” Amusement clear in her voice.

  I coul
dn’t help but chuckle at her boldness and quirky personality. “Good, I might not realize when the assness comes out.” I heard her chuckle and it made me smile in return. “Did I interrupt anything tonight?” I leaned back on the sofa and rested my feet on the glass coffee table while I sipped my scotch, effectively making me more relaxed with ever sip.

  “As a matter of fact, you did. I was taking a nice hot bath while reading my kindle.” She sat down in the recliner and sipped her rum and coke. It was making her feel more relaxed as well. She grabbed a blanket and covered up with it.

  “Sorry to pull you from your bath.”

  “It’s alright. Soo… I know you think I know you, but where are you calling from?” I was starting to believe that she really didn’t know who I was.

  “Can we please not talk about that, at least for now?” I waited, and then she finally let out a breath.

  “I guess we can, but I gotta tell ya it’s kinda weird.” I laughed, I couldn’t help it. She had the most adorable southern accent.

  “Thank you, even if it is weird.”

  “So why are you at home tonight and not out with your friend?” I asked, curious why such and attractive lady would be sitting at home on a Friday night.

  “I could ask you the same question, why are you at home and not out to dinner tonight?” I laughed outright, I couldn’t help it. She was good, almost as good as I was.

  “You did not answer my question. Okay, I’ll go first and since we technically don’t know each other, I think we should be completely honest.” Now she laughed.

  “Hmm… our very own therapy session. Okay, I agree.”

  “My friend Matt is busy with his girlfriend tonight, and to be quite honest I’m trying to avoid this girl my mother keeps trying to set me up with.”

  “How old are you?”

  “I’m thirty-five.”

  “Don’t you think you’re a little old for your mother to be trying to set you up?” I chuckled again. I was really enjoying talking to her.

  “Yes, actually I do. I keep telling her this but she won’t listen to me.” She laughed.

  “Well, I haven’t seen you so maybe you have something weird going on, like six or seven fingers on one hand or something.”

  “Nope, I have five fingers on each hand.”

  “Well there you go, you have no thumbs. Your poor mother, she must be very upset and is just trying to help you.” I burst out laughing, almost spitting scotch all over myself.

  “Now you’re just being a smartass! Okay, now you. Why are you at home on a Friday night?” It suddenly became silent as the seconds passed so slow it felt like minutes.

  “Honestly?”

  “Yes, honestly. We don’t know each other so it’s okay.” Although I have plans to get to know her. I haven’t enjoyed talking to a woman or actually anybody since… ever.

  “My husband died two years ago and I haven’t dated anyone since his death.” What! What the hell do I say to that? I sat there racking my brain for the appropriate response when I heard her sigh. “Please don’t say anything. I’ve heard it all before and it’s really just empty words anyway. I’ve heard so many people say I’m sorry, that sometimes I wish that word would disappear from the English language.”

  “I’ve never lost anyone that I care about so I wouldn’t know what to say anyway.” I try to put myself in her shoes, but I couldn’t. I never cared very much for the people in my life. Matt would be the closest thing to family for me, and I’m surprised to find out that I’m sadden at the thought. Would anyone miss me if I died? Mother and father wouldn’t. They would probably use it for their advantage somehow. Then another thought rushed through my mind, Am I like them? Am I as uncaring as they are? My heart started pounding as sweat beaded over my brow. I can’t be like them, they’re awful to everyone unless you can do something for them. That’s the moment I realized, I knew… I had to change. I want to care about people, and I want to be missed if something ever happened to me. Carlana hasn’t dated for two years because she misses her husband that much, and I want someone to care about me like that. I realized she’s talking and I haven’t been listening. Too caught up in my own revelation. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

  “I said that it’s a good thing that you haven’t lost anyone you cared about. It’s a horrible thing to go through.” I almost told her that I didn’t really care about anyone but Matt, but decided against it. I really enjoyed talking to her, and I didn’t want to give her a bad opinion of me, well anymore that I already have. “Okay, enough of this. I’m getting depressed so we’re just gonna talk about something different.” I never really liked southern accents; normally the people that used them talk slow. However, she talked fast and her accent drew me like a magnet.

  “What would you like to talk about?” I asked, glad for the subject change.

  “Well, we could talk about where you live?” She sounded hopeful.

  “No.” I was enjoying this too much to ruin it by her finding out who I am.

  “How about the woman your mother is trying to set you up with?”

  “No.” There is no way I’m giving Maria one ounce of my time while I’m talking to Carlana.

  “Why did you ask me what I wanted to talk about if all you can say is No?” She huffed and I laughed. “You’re being an ass again!”

  Laughing I said, “Let’s talk about you. Where do you live?” I knew the state and which side of it she lived on, but that’s about it. I wonder if she even thought about googling my number.

  She started laughing, and not just a little giggle, but belly laughing and even though I liked it, it puzzled me. “Do you really think that I’m going to tell you, some man I’ve never met before, a man that I have no idea how he got my number, where I live? It’s like watching a movie and screaming ‘Don’t go outside or you’ll be killed’ and they do it anyway. All you can do is shake your head and wonder why you watched such a stupid movie. And in case you’re still wondering, I’m not telling you.”

  “A simple I’m not telling you would have been plenty.”

  “Okay, I’m not telling you.” Shaking my head at her, I couldn’t help but smile. She was so different from anyone I had ever met and I liked it. I liked her. Hearing her cough a few times, I wondered if she had a cold, and then I heard her cover the phone as I heard her muffled voice. I waited a few seconds and then she was back, “I need to go, but it’s been nice talking to you.”

  “Why do you need to go? Who’s there?” I was surprised to find that I really wanted to know who was with her especially if it was another man.

  “Because it’s getting late and my son just got home and I want to talk to him. I’ll talk to you later Colin.” I sat there looking at my phone because she just hung up. It felt good to talk to her, I felt good. After thinking about her for the last couple of months, I now knew that it would just get worse.

  Chapter 11

  Out with Matt!

  While I was lost in my own mind, I answered the phone without realizing what I was doing. Her voice, her personality along with the image of her that was forever etched in to my memory was captivating. I had to know more about her. “Hello?” I said absentmindedly.

  “Hey man, what’s up?” Matt asked and I wondered why he was calling. He was supposed to be on a date with Carly.

  “Not much, you?” He now had my full attention. I could tell by the sound of his voice that something was wrong even though he hid it well.

  “Not much. Thinking about heading to Club Jade. Want to go?” Did I want to go? No. Will I go? Yes. Matt helped me through a hard time in my life at New Year’s, so yes I will go for him. I wondered briefly, what happened. My bet is that it has something to do with Carly. I’ve been noticing lately that she’s not around much anymore.

  “Sure man, when?” I downed the rest of my scotch and headed to the bedroom to change clothes.

  “How about 30?”

  “Okay, 30 minutes it is. See ya.” Hanging up, I pulled out a bl
ack tee and paired it with my form fitting designer jeans. I called Seth and told him to have the limo here in 15, and then I let Gino know we were going out. Getting dressed, I ran my hand through my hair, which left it with the messed up look. Women loved it like that.

  Fifteen minutes later, I answered the door knowing it was Gino knocking. I nodded as I grabbed my jacket and wallet and then headed downstairs where Seth had the car waiting. I climbed in to the back seat and then scooted over so Gino could climb in behind me, then I pulled out my phone. I wanted to check my e-mails but that turned in to an impossible task as my mind kept wandering back to Carlana and our phone call. I finally just put my phone back in my pocket and studied Gino from the corner of my eye. Realizing I had never really had a conversation with him, and wanting to make a change in my life, I turned and asked, “How do you like it here so far?” Knowing he was from Jersey.

  “It’s been fine sir.” He stated in a tone that said he really didn’t want to talk. I nodded at him and focused on Seth.

  “How are things with your family Seth?” He looked at me with a hesitation I didn’t understand.

  “They’re fine Mr. Withers.” Mr. Withers? Has he always called me that? I searched my memory and found that yes; he had always called me that while I called him Seth. If I really wanted to change, I needed to start with these two. I still wanted them to call me Mr. Withers, that was professional, but I could get to know them more.

  Turning back to Gino, “Did you get a background check on Carlana Kiser?”

  “I’m sorry, I got it today and I should have let you know.” My heart sped up thinking he had found something. I didn’t want him to find anything because as far as I was concerned, she was perfect.

  “That’s okay, what did you find?” I waited as patiently as I possibly could while he pulled out the report.

  “There’s really not much to tell. She was married for sixteen years before her husband lost his life in a car wreck. Let’s see, one son named Austin. He just turned eighteen. Her mother is Clara Johnson and her dad is James Johnson. She has one sister that’s married with three children. She has lived in Abingdon VA most of her life. No parking or speeding tickets, and she’s unemployed. That’s really all there is sir.” Gino said as he looked at me.