Real Shadows

by M. E. Clayton

He ran his hands through his hair again, a nervous trait, maybe. The look he gave me was one of pure frustration. “I was having a shitty day, Fallon,” he said as a way of an explanation. “I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

  I decided to take the coward’s way out. “Look, Xander, it’s been a long goddamn week,” I said, ignoring his explanation. “I just want to get some rest before I have to tackle the next phase of my life on Monday.” I wasn’t necessarily lying.

  He regarded me with eyes too pretty to belong on a man. “Okay, Fallon,” he replied. “I’ll give you this, but this isn’t over.”

  Wow.

  I cocked my head at him trying to understand his game. “Which is it, Xander?”

  “Which is what?” he growled.

  “Are you the asshole who treated a stranger like shit? Are you the remorseful guy who wants to make things right? Or are you a dick who doesn’t like to be questioned?” I challenged. “Because I gotta tell you, your many personalities are giving me whiplash.”

  Xander stepped to me and I should probably take exception but for the fact that, if I was going to face down a stalker, I needed to toughen up. “I’m all three, Fallon,” he snapped. “I’m the guy who had a shitty day, and acted like an asshole, but felt like shit afterwards and came to apologize. I’m also the guy who has no problem being a dick if it means people are safe.” Xander turned and slammed the door behind before I could comment on his little rant.

  What a day.

  What a goddamn disaster.

  Chapter 12

  Xander~

  “Well, at least she didn’t murder you on the spot.” As comforting as that should have sounded, it didn’t. It was Sunday afternoon and Trevor was helping me with my shed. I didn’t need the help, so I suspected he was here checking on me more than anything else.

  I turned to side-eye the man. I had just finished telling him about the fight or not fight or whatever the fuck it was between me and Fallon yesterday. “Yeah, Trev,” I said drolly, “that’s a great plus.”

  He finished hammering the plank nails. “Xander, you were a fucking dick to her,” he replied incredulously. “You’re lucky you’re in one piece, considering Karla would have stood back and let her murder you.”

  I turned the saw back on to drown the motherfucker out, but he came over, yanked on the cord, and unplugged it. “Hey, asshole! Don’t be doing that. It’s dangerous,” I grumbled.

  He didn’t listen. He just stood there with his arms folded over his chest. “I’ll tell you what’s dangerous, Xan, and that’s two pissed off women. Forget a damn power saw.”

  I winced because I didn’t like the idea of Karla being pissed at me. “Is Karla really pissed at me?”

  Trevor let out a sigh. “No. I think she’s more disappointed than anything.”

  The punch to the gut was real. “Jesus, Trevor, that’s worse!”

  He just shrugged a shoulder. “Dude, don’t yell at me. I’m not the one who acted like a jackass.”

  Pushing work to the side, I looked at my friend and asked the question I was hoping he had the answer to. “How do I fix this, Trev?”

  “Come on, man,” he said sympathetically. “You know Karla won’t stay mad-”

  “I mean with Fallon,” I corrected. I knew Karla wouldn’t stay mad at me forever, but it’s because I had history with her working on my side. Karla knew I was a nice guy for the most part. She wouldn’t believe the worst of me and hold on to that. Fallon on the other hand…

  Trevor’s brows shot up. “Fallon?”

  “Yes. Fallon. You dick,” I snapped, my voice brittle.

  “Well, well, well,” he chuckled.

  The dick.

  “I didn’t think you cared that much,” he taunted. “You know, seeing as how she’s a gold-digging attention seeker, and all.” My face must have conveyed what I thought about his remark because he put his hands up in surrender. “Sorry, man. I couldn’t help myself.”

  “I already feel like shit as it is, Trev. Can you just not?” I knew I sounded like a whining brat, but I hadn’t slept a wink last night, worried about how to make shit right with that girl.

  Trevor took mercy on me. “Sorry, Xan,” he sighed, “but I really don’t know much about the woman. She’s Karla’s friend, remember?” Which translated to ‘you’re assed the fuck out’ because I knew there was no way Karla would tell me anything about Fallon, at this point. I already made Karla feel as if she had betrayed Fallon once already, there’s no way Karla would help me with this.

  “The guilt is eating me alive, Trevor,” I admitted. “I feel like shit over the way I treated her.”

  Trevor reached for a bottle of water out of the ice chest. “But why?” He twisted the cap. “You told me she said to just drop it and move on, right? That’s close enough to forgiveness, don’t you think?”

  These next words were probably going to damn me, but Trevor was my best friend; I wasn’t going to lie to him. “I don’t want to move on,” I confessed. Trevor started choking on his water and I had to wait until he pulled himself together before saying, “I don’t want to pretend like she doesn’t affect me whenever I might run into her with Karla.”

  “Holy shit,” he choked out. I watched as he shook himself out of his stupor. “When the hell did that happen?” I couldn’t blame his incredulity. “How did you go from trashing the poor woman to wanting to get her into your bed?”

  “First and foremost, I’m a man, Trevor,” I snapped. “I wanted her in my bed the second I laid eyes on her. She’s fucking beautiful.”

  The asshole rolled his eyes. “Sure, she’s beautiful, but since when did you ever fall stupid for a pretty face? You’re more of a personality kind of guy.”

  This was getting me nowhere. “Does it matter? The fact is that, even if I didn’t feel like a goddamn heel for misjudging her, I’m attracted to her in a way that I’m not sure I can ignore.”

  Trevor put the water down like it was a danger to him right now. “And you realized this when exactly?”

  I knew the exact moment I was fucked. It was when she finally said my name after telling me to fuck off. She was running from an unknown threat. She was tired and scared. But even through all the shit she’s been dealt, she still had fire in her. She still had fight. And she had been alone in her motel room with a stranger, and she had still ballsed up and told me to fuck off.

  Fallon wasn’t manufactured.

  She was real, and she was strong, and the regret of my actions had hit me hard in that moment. I had misjudged her horribly and my attraction to her had made my regret all that much more palpable.

  “When she told me to fuck off,” I told him.

  “Jesus, Xan,” Trevor chuckled. “You never do anything easy, do you?”

  “You are absolutely no help, Trev. None at all.”

  He shrugged, knowing my conscience wasn’t his problem. “I know Karla better than anyone and even I don’t know what to do with the woman when she’s spitting mad. No man knows what to do with a pissed off woman, Xan. Keep groveling is all I can tell you.”

  I gladly would if that’s all she required of me, but it wasn’t. The woman wanted me to leave her alone, but I wasn’t sure I could. Even if I wasn’t attracted to her, and she wasn’t Karla’s best friend, Brant was the size of a postage stamp. There’s no way I’d not see her around town, and I didn’t want to walk on eggshells every time I ran into her.

  “Plug the damn saw back in, asshole,” I mumbled as I realized Trevor was no help at all. The fucker laughed at me, but plugged the saw back in, nonetheless.

  The sound of the saw drowning out everything else gave me the opportunity to wonder how far I was willing to go to make amends with Fallon. I wanted things to be cool between us, and Lord knows I wanted the woman in my bed, but there was still the whole stalking issue she was dealing with. I knew if I pursued her, I could very well be getting myself caught up in something dangerous and confusing.

  The man in me could appreciate wa
nting her to be safe because she’s a woman, and a woman should never feel anything but safe. However, the man in me down below took it a little more personally. If I got involved with Fallon, her situation would become my situation, and that was a bigger burden to bear that just putting a house in my name.

  Then I had to laugh at myself.

  I was thinking about all this as if getting involved with Fallon was a foregone conclusion. The woman couldn’t stand me, and I was contemplating all the pros and cons of dating her.

  Maybe I was an asshole.

  Even if the attraction was mutual, Fallon had bigger things to deal with than some guy who was a jerk to her. She had real-life problems and, even if she wasn’t being stalked by some lunatic, she was still moving to a new town, trying to get a job, and find some place to live. That was a lot to take on even without the fear factor.

  I meant what I told her in that I couldn’t understand how someone could stalk her for so many years and not make himself known, because there’s no way I’d be able to stay hidden if I was fixated on her. That’s why I had doubted her story at first. Hell, I still couldn’t fully grasp her situation, but I realized I wanted to. I wanted to help, and I also wanted to phase Karla out. If Fallon felt comfortable calling me, then that was one step closer to keeping Karla safe and away from whoever was tormenting Fallon.

  Now while I didn’t have any problems with strong, independent, ball-busting women, I took my role as a man seriously. And with that, came the need to protect the fairer sex if I could. I had no doubt Karla and Fallon could probably take on the threat together, but the thought sent unpleasant tingles down my spine. Trevor would never be the same if anything happened to Karla.

  And then, an idea started forming in my head. And while completely ridiculous, it was worth a shot. All these years, he’s been after a single woman living a scared, solitary life, but what if she had a boyfriend? What if she was living with someone? Would he still come after her? Would he still be so bold?

  I made a mental note to ask Karla if Fallon’s ever had a boyfriend since the stalking had begun, just to get a better picture of what we’re dealing with. Sure, there’s no way Fallon would move in with me or pretend to be my girlfriend, but that wasn’t going to deter me. If she were willing to go along with Karla’s plan to put herself at my financial mercy, surely, she could see the value in a compromise of sorts, right? Granted, Karla’s plan was all before I treated her like shit and she hated me, but it wouldn’t hurt to offer up my plan.

  I mean, the worse she could do is tell me to fuck off, and she’s already done that, so I was thick-skinned there. Right now, guilt and attraction were a lethal combination working to devise a plan that would help us both. Fallon from her stalker and me from losing my goddamn mind with worry and guilt.

  Chapter 13

  Fallon~

  He must do drugs.

  That can be the only explanation for why I’m at Karla’s listening to Xander Raynes and his insane idea.

  I mean, I thought he might be a little touched in the head when he showed up at my motel room the other night, but this?

  This was proof he was doing drugs.

  There was a heartbeat of silence before I turned to Trevor and said, “I know Brant is small, but surely there are drug rehab programs available through the church or something to help Xander, Trevor. Because your friend is obviously on some heavy shit.”

  Trevor full-out laughed, while Karla chuckled softly. Xander grunted, not appreciating how I was trying to get him some help. I mean, I didn’t care for the man, but that didn’t mean I didn’t have compassion for people with drug problems. Not all drug abusers were bad people. Some were good people just making bad choices.

  Across the table, Xander leaned forward with his elbows propped up and his hands clasped together. A bit white-knuckled, I might add. “I don’t do drugs, Fallon,” he gritted out, clearly insulted.

  “I beg to differ,” I argued. “You must, Xander. That’s the only reason why you would voice this ridiculous idea.”

  His amber orbs narrowed a bit. “Why is it ridiculous? Karla pretty much confirmed that you’ve lived alone all these years since this all started. Who’s to say my idea doesn’t work?”

  I cocked my head as my brows drew downward. As if addressing an idiot, I replied, “It’s ridiculous because I can barely stand to talk to you much less live in the same goddamn house as you.”

  “You’re willing to shoot down a good idea just because you’re still mad?” he asked.

  “I’m not mad at you, Xander. I don’t like you,” I clarified. “There is a difference, you know.” While I was woman enough to admit the attraction, that still didn’t mean I liked the man. It just meant that he was hot as hell and looked like he knew what to do with a woman once he got her in his bed.

  He seemed unaffected by my declaration. “So then, this gives me a chance to change your mind about me while keeping you safe.”

  “And what about your safety? What if this guy comes after you?” The second those words flew out of my mouth, I knew Xander Raynes was a man’s man. His entire demeanor shifted into alpha mode and the look on his face was positively feral.

  “Let’s get something straight here, Fallon,” he growled-I mean, growled. “I can take care of myself. I can protect myself just fine. And I sure as hell can protect you if it comes down to it. I wouldn’t be suggesting you live with me if I didn’t think I could.”

  Okay.

  Well.

  Time to incorporate some common sense into this insane scheme. “Xander, you don’t know me,” I pointed out. “You know nothing about me. It’s crazy to allow someone you don’t know to invade your space.” Having lived with the violation of someone coming into my home whenever they felt like it, my respect for people’s private space was extreme.

  Then he hit me with something I wasn’t expecting. “Just like you were willing to hand over everything you own to me on the word of Karla’s trust for me, I’m willing to trust you on her word as well.”

  The thud in my chest was real. Xander seemed as if he was trying, but that first impression was too hard to shake off. “And what if I leave the milk out? What if I don’t put the cap back on the toothpaste? What if I let my laundry pile up? There are more issues here other than me making off with all your valuables.”

  “I’m not a big fan of milk. You’ll have your own bathroom. And I’ll be happy to do your laundry.” The last part was said with the smoothness of silk and a positively rakish look in his eyes.

  “My own bathroom?” Not saying I was going to go along with this idiotic plan, but my own bathroom was a selling point.

  Xander let out a small sigh, while Karla and Trevor just sat next to us watching in fascination. “My house has three bedrooms, one being with a master bath. That’s my room. There’s a guest bathroom that would be yours, and there’s even a half bath off the kitchen.”

  “What are the other two bedrooms used for?” Again, not saying I was agreeing, but I wanted all the facts when I said no.

  “One is a guestroom and the other was converted to an office,” he answered, matter of fact.

  The lonely part of me started to entertain the idea, so I shook my head to get rid of the lost longing feeling. “Look, Xander, I appreciate you trying to make amends-really,” I told him honestly. “But this is a bit extreme in the effort.” He started to object but I continued, cutting him off. “I have enough money to put down on a house, if not buy one outright. I don’t need to put anyone out.”

  “But why make that commitment when you don’t have to?” he countered. “Why not move in with me and wait it out for a while. If he doesn’t show up, then buy the house and settle here.”

  “Xander, sometimes he doesn’t show up for over a year,” I explained. “Besides, I’m done running.”

  Karla leaned into me. “And I’m glad,” she whispered.

  I was about to do my victory lap when Trevor spoke up. “Fallon, hon, even if you do have th
e money to put down on a house, buying a house doesn’t happen overnight. There’s still escrow and a whole host of other shit that needs to be done before you’re handed the keys. Not to mention, if you’re really going to do this, you’re going to need to find a job and buy a car and whatever else. Do you really want to do all that living out of a motel room that’s on the outskirts of town?” Trevor was beating me down with logic, and I was not liking it. “Staying with Xander saves you time and money. And considering that you’re going to blow a big chunk of your money on a house and car, you could probably stand to save as much as you can right now.”

  “But-”

  Ignoring me, because the man did have logic as his superpower, he kept talking. “You could always stay here as originally planned, but staying with Xan gives you more privacy and, quite frankly, keeps Karla out of harm’s way, Fallon,” he finished honestly, and I appreciated it more than he could ever know.

  I searched all their faces and I could see they were all in favor of me staying with Xander. But just like Trevor was concerned for Karla, I was concerned for anyone who could get tangled in my mess. And that included Xander, even though he had been a jerk to me in the beginning.

  If I was going to be brave enough to stop running, I had to be brave period. I couldn’t pick and choose when to be strong with this situation.

  “I appreciate the offer and the reasoning, gentlemen,” I told them. “But staying at the motel isn’t a problem. I’m not a manicure/pedicure kind of girl anyway. A motel isn’t on my list of hardships. And since I plan on getting a job, I’m not worried about the money.”

  “Fal-”

  I stopped Trevor from whatever he was about to say. “I’m not going to hide behind Xander, Trevor,” I said, my voice clear and strong.

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” Xander exploded as he stood up from the table. He slapped his hands down on the tabletop and glared at me. “Are you seriously turning down my offer to be all ‘I-am-woman-hear-me-roar’? Are you fucking serious?”