Real Shadows

by M. E. Clayton

  My teeth rattled in my mouth as Xander landed a blow across my jaw. I swung back and landed my mark. “You’ll never love her the way I do,” I growled.

  “Maybe,” he snarled as he tried his best to keep the upper hand. “But she’ll never love you. She’ll never love you because she loves me.”

  And that was all it took.

  That one sentence that suggested he’s won.

  I let out a roar and swung until he was thrown back by the force of my fists. “She’s mine!” I screamed as insanity cloaked me in everything that was Fallon Reese. “She’s mine!”

  We were facing each other in a stand to end one another when the unmistakable sound of a gun being cocked vibrated through the room. Over our heaving breaths, over Fallon’s tears, over the rush of blood swimming in our ears…over everything was that one unmistakable sound.

  “Stop!” Fallon shrieked. “Stop!”

  Xander and I faced off, but neither of us moved. I wasn’t entirely sure Fallon wouldn’t shoot me, and I suspect Xander was afraid she might accidentally shoot him. It was one thing to die for Fallon, it was another to be accidentally shot by her. Both Xander and I wanted to walk out of here with her. Being dead wouldn’t help either of us.

  Xander finally turned to look at her, and when he did, I turned as well. “Fallon, baby…”

  Her face was blotched with tears and pale with fear. Her beautiful blue eyes were round with misery, and I knew she could very well shoot us both unintentionally in her frenzied state. But like I said, I wasn’t afraid to die for her, but to be killed accidentally, gaining nothing, well…I wasn’t onboard with that.

  “I called the police,” she announced, her voice watery with panic. “I…I called them.”

  Xander had his hands up in a surrendering motion as he tried to calm her. “Fallon, put the gun down,” he instructed through painful, labored breaths. He was trying to defuse the situation, but I also noticed how he didn’t instruct Fallon to hand him the gun. He knew, just like I did, that she shouldn’t be holding a gun, even if it was to save his sorry ass.

  I studied the mess she was, but even with the unrealness of our situation, there was no denying the beautiful spell she had me under. Most of my life, Fallon’s been the only beauty in a picture of despair and hopelessness. Maybe if I were a better person, I’d let her go. But I wasn’t, and there was no question if whether I could live without her or not. People threw that phrase around like it didn’t hold real meaning, but I couldn’t live without a connection to Fallon. She was leaving here with me.

  Period.

  “Fallon, are you really ready to kill a man?” I asked. “Because that’s what you’re going to have to do to keep me from getting to you.” It was the truth. The police were not going to take me away from her. “Because that’s the only way this ends.”

  Chapter 23

  Fallon~

  The gun shook in my hands.

  Through the tears, adrenaline, and fear, the unsteady hold of the gun in my hand was fact. I’ve never held a gun before, and I sure as hell have never pointed one at anyone. And for all that he’s put me through, I didn’t want to shoot Thomas. Maybe if he had been some random stranger, but knowing who he was, I couldn’t live with that on my conscience. Besides, the police were on their way.

  I hadn’t expected Xander to start a fight, and after getting over the initial shock of it all, I had raced towards the bedroom, grabbed my phone, then dialed 911. I had screamed Xander’s address into the phone and then threw it on the bed while still connected. There was no way I was going to answer some dispatcher’s stupid questions while Xander could still be in danger. No matter the fact that Xander and Thomas were equally matched, there was still a gun accessible to Thomas.

  I had run back out into the living room and looked for that fucking gun. As soon as I saw it, I raced for it and the relief nearly brought me to my knees. And while I had no business holding a gun in the state I was in, there was no way I was giving it up until the police got here. At least, that was the plan until Thomas uttered those words that terrified me to the core.

  I didn’t want to shoot him.

  “Thomas, please,” I begged. “We…we can…” I didn’t know what we could do. I knew he needed to go to jail. I knew he should be punished for everything he’s done to me and for threatening to kill Xander, but I was being assaulted with memory, after memory of the sweet boy who had been so nice to me during those ugly, early years. Thomas was going to go to jail, and I felt wretched that the very idea bothered me.

  “I love you, Fallon,” he said, matter of fact. “I’ve always loved you. You’re going to have to kill me for that to cease. Nothing matters outside what I feel for you.”

  “Fallon,” Xander’s voice broke through Thomas’s declaration of love. I turned to look at him. “If you’re not going to put the gun down, go outside and wait for the police.” He gave me a soft nod. “Put the gun on the ground and wait for the cops.”

  Did he not understand?

  “I’m not letting him out of my sight,” I bit out. “I…”

  “Fallon,” Xander snapped, “if the police come in here with you holding a gun on us, they are going to go after you. Go outside or put the motherfucking gun down!”

  Movement on my left had me switching my attention from Xander to Thomas. As a testament to his insanity, he was smirking at me. “Yeah, Fallon,” he taunted. “Listen to Xander. Put the gun down.”

  “Ignore him, Fallon,” Xander instructed. “He won’t get to you. I won’t let him. I swear it, baby.”

  I could feel my arms trembling and I knew with every passing second, I was putting us all in danger, but I didn’t know how to put the gun down. The unknown had me terrified. Intellectually, I knew Xander was right, but emotionally, I couldn’t put the gun down.

  Was this shock? What this fear paralysis?

  I heard the sirens and the sound set off a chain of events I had been hoping to avoid. My knees weakened, and in my fall, Xander rushed towards me and that gave Thomas the opportunity he needed to come at Xander from behind.

  “Xander!” I screamed, but not fast enough. Xander took a blow to the side of his head, and the gun fell out of my hands as I instinctively reached for him. I was officially that stupid woman who gave into the emotion of the situation and put both me and Xander in danger again.

  Before I could get my bearings, Thomas grabbed my arm and now it was me standing next to him with a gun to my head. However, the only thing my mind was processing was that there was no way Thomas was getting out of here with me alive. There’s no way the police were going to let him walk away with me. And there was nothing stopping him from killing me and then himself in a crazy bid to be together.

  “Thomas, the police-”

  “Are going to either let both of us go, or neither of us,” he said, confirming my thoughts.

  Just then, Xander was standing, staring at us, blood dripping down the side of his head. It shocked me that he was able to stand, but I did notice he swayed a bit coming to his feet. This was all my fault. I should have just listened to him, but instead, I let my fear take over and now we were right back where we started, with Thomas having the upper hand.

  “I’m sorry,” I wept. “I’m so sorry, Xander.”

  “Police!” Xander turned towards the front door while Thomas just chuckled.

  “In here!” Xander answered before turning back to face me and Thomas. “He’s got a gun!”

  “I also got the girl,” Thomas quipped and there was no uncertainty to his mental state anymore. He had to be crazy for none of this to faze him. And had there been even a remote chance of confusion, his next words cemented it. “Come on in!” he yelled for the police.

  And they did.

  The front door crashed open and four police officers filed in. The immediately took in the scene and every gun was raised and aimed at me and Thomas. Thomas was going to get us killed and maybe that was his plan now. He was going to stay true to his word
that if he couldn’t have me, then no one could.

  “Put the gun down, now!” one of the officers instructed as Xander stood with his hands up, worry lining every inch of his face.

  “Or else what, Officer?” Thomas asked, goading him with his insolence. “Are you going to shoot us?”

  The cop’s eyes darted towards mine as the other three police officers fanned out. “If we have to,” he said as calmly as could be, as if my life wasn’t in danger.

  “Sir, come with me,” one of the officers said, reaching for Xander.

  “No,” he barked. “Not without her.”

  “Don’t make me arrest you,” she threatened. “Besides, the best thing you can do for her is to go outside with me.”

  The madness was evident in every word coming out of Thomas’s mouth. “Yeah, Xander,” he chuckled darkly. “Why don’t you go on outside with the nice officer, where it’s nice and safe, and leave Fallon here to me.”

  “You motherfuc-”

  “Now!” the officer yelled. “You either leave with me now, or I will arrest you for impeding a police matter!”

  “Xander, go,” I begged. “Please, please go. I’ll be okay.”

  The playfulness was gone when Thomas spoke again. “I’ll shoot her where she stands if you don’t leave, Xander,” he threatened.

  I’d never seen such agony on one person’s face ever in my life. Xander looked torn. I knew he didn’t care about getting arrested, but Thomas’s threat to shoot me was real, and Xander knew it. He was going to have to walk out of his house in a small bid to save my life.

  “I love you, Fallon,” he said, misery in each word. “I fucking love you.” Tears streamed down my face as the office escorted him out of the house.

  The second the door closed, the point officer got back down to business. “I need you to put the gun down, sir,” he tried again. “Everyone can still walk out of here alive.”

  Thomas got back to chuckling. “You think I give a shit about that?” He had no concern for the cops on either side of us, guns pointed at our heads. His attention was on the point officer who, like the others, had his gun pointed as us too.

  “What do you give a shit about?” he asked, trying to negotiate, but even he had to see we were beyond a mutual ending here.

  “If I can’t have her, no one can,” Thomas replied, making it clear the reason we were all here.

  “I need you to put the gun down,” the cop repeated. “We can’t let you hurt her.”

  Thomas didn’t comment, nor did he put the gun down. It was still held to the side of my head and the wait was excruciating. The wait of the unknown was a debilitating thing. Everything was a nightmare my mind didn’t want to process. And I was still disgusted that a tiny part of me didn’t want to witness Thomas’s death.

  Suddenly, I felt Thomas let go of my arm. The gun was still pressed up against my head, but he had released his grip on my arm. I couldn’t help it, I turned to face him to try to get a hint as to what he was going to do, but his face was nothing but calm. He was giving nothing away and I didn’t know what I was supposed to do now. Run? Fall?

  “It’s me or it’s no one,” he repeated in a voice clear and concise for all the room to hear. “That’s the only way this ends.” Tears started streaming down my face. “They can kill me, Fallon. Hell, they most likely will. But not before I take you with me. You were never meant to be with anyone else. It was always going to be you and me.”

  Thomas cocked the gun in his hand, and I couldn’t stop the cry that escaped. “No!”

  And then there was nothing but gunshots.

  Chapter 24

  Xander~

  I dropped to my knees at the sound of gunfire.

  This is not supposed to be real-life. This isn’t supposed to be what happens outside action movies. The guilt that I hadn’t believed Fallon at first was paralyzing. It’s what brought me to my knees. Anyone else might be rushing inside the house to save the woman they loved, but the guilt of not believing her at first had me weakened.

  Unwilling to face a life without Fallon was what also had me on my knees on the street. When I walked out of the house, the officer had forced me to stand behind the patrol cars or face being handcuffed in one of the backseats. I had chosen to behave, all the while, I felt like my emotions were trying to crawl out from beneath my skin.

  And, as if the guilt weren’t enough, everything that made me a man accused me of cowardice. How could I fucking leave her in there? How could I walk out alive to wait? It didn’t matter that there were people inside with her that were more qualified to protect her. It didn’t matter that they threatened to arrest me. It didn’t matter that I knew my presence might do more harm than good.

  None of that mattered.

  At the end of the day, I left her to deal with a horrible situation alone. Fuck the cops. Fallon was just a job to them. I’m the one who should have protected her better.

  I’m the one who failed.

  I just prayed to God that she was alive, so that I could make it up to her. I’ll spend the rest of my life trailing after her, begging for forgiveness, if that’s what I had to do.

  As I was bargaining with God, one of the officers came walking out of the house and I didn’t care anymore. They could arrest me or fucking shoot me; I needed to get to Fallon.

  “Sir!”

  I ignored the officer who had escorted me out and raced towards the house. “Fallon!”

  “Sir!” Now, it was the officer who was walking out of the house that was shouting at me. He had both his hands flat up against my chest, trying to stop me from entering the house.

  “Fallon!”

  “Sir, you need to-”

  “Xander!”

  The sound of her voice was all I needed to hear. I stopped fighting and dropped my head back as I thanked God that she was alive. When I opened my eyes and looked beyond the officer who was trying to hold me back, I saw another officer walking out with Fallon in his arms.

  She was covered in smeared blood.

  I ran towards her and, as soon as I was able, I reached out and yanked her to me. I wrapped my arms around her not giving two fucks about the blood. “Fallon,” I whispered like a prayer. “Oh, baby.”

  She was shaking, but she was holding on to me just as tightly and I knew there was going to be a long road to recovery, mentally and emotionally. “Xander,” she sobbed. “Oh, Xander, they…they…”

  I had a fairly good idea of that they did without her having to explain. I knew the blood wasn’t hers, and with the last officer walking out of the house, they were all accounted for. The distant sound of an ambulance told me that I wasn’t going to have much time with her and that sent me into a panic.

  “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to step back,” the officer who seemed to be in charge said. “Your house is an official crime scene and I need you to follow me out onto the street.” I nodded but didn’t care. All that mattered was that Fallon was now safe on two fronts. Thomas was dead. He could no longer stalker her, and he no longer had a gun to her head.

  With Fallon in my arms, we walked over to the patrol cars just as the ambulance pulled up to the scene. The one female officer immediately went to pull Fallon from my arms, but I held tight. The panic of letting her go was consuming me. “No,” I snapped.

  The officer narrowed her bright blue eyes at me. “You don’t get to tell me no,” she snapped back. “If you care at all about this woman you will let the paramedics check her out.” Then she went for the jugular. “You’re going to have to put whatever macho bullshit you’re going through aside and do what’s best for her.”

  Before I could comment, Fallon looked up at me. “It’s okay, Xander,” she whispered. “I…please…”

  My fucking heart was breaking.

  How the fuck did she expect me to step back yet again? Why was everyone acting like I wasn’t the best thing for her right now?

  “Fallon-”

  She looked at the officer and asked, �
�Can you question him next to the ambulance?”

  Her narrowed blue eyes softened. “Of course,” she replied. “But only if you promise to cooperate with the paramedics and not interrupt our preliminary questioning.” She reached out and rubbed Fallon’s arm. “Once you’re medically cleared, you will both have to come down to the station for official questioning.”

  “That’s fine,” I agreed.

  One of the paramedics walked over, and I was forced to let Fallon go. I watched as he supported her all the way back to the ambulance and I wanted to break something. Everyone else was doing my fucking job.

  I was graciously allowed to stand on the side of the ambulance as the female officer waited for the officer in charge to join us. Once he did, introductions were made. “Hello,” he started, “I’m Officer Nelson and this is Officer Brentwood. What is your name, sir?”

  “Xander Raynes,” I answered.

  “And this is your house?” he asked as both he and Officer Brentwood scribbled on their miniature notepads.

  “Yes,” I answered.

  “And the victim is your wife?”

  His question felt like a weight in the pit of my stomach. I was going to have to answer truthfully and that answer was going to close off all kinds of access to Fallon that I’d have as her husband. “No,” I replied honestly. “She’s my girlfriend, but we live together.” I prayed these were the type of people who understood that a legal piece of paper didn’t place an exact value on love.

  “Her name?”

  “Fallon Reese.”

  “And the man in your home?” He didn’t say deceased, so I wondered if it were possible that Thomas could still be alive.

  “Uhm, I just know his name is Thomas.” I shook my head. “I don’t know his last name, only that he and Fallon grew up in foster care together.”

  Officer Brentwood finally spoke up. “Can you tell us what happened here, Mr. Raynes?”

  I ran my hands through my hair and let out a deep breath. They were going to get more details out of Fallon later, so I gave them quick, condensed version of what had happened.