Shadow's Stand

by Sarah McCarty

  Part. Only part. “And the other part?”

  Better than the gift of his passion was the gift of his honesty. “I don’t trust it. I don’t like being out of control.”

  She felt the same way. As if this was beyond her control but good. So good. “Then you have to trust me, like I have to trust you.”

  “Maybe.”

  She shook her head and snuggled tighter against his cock. The feeling was blissful. Commanding. She wanted more. “Not maybe. Yes.”

  Cupping her rear in his hands, he nudged her with his shaft, rocking her gently, his cock slid along the silk of her trousers, the heat and pressure caressing her with a slow steady pressure until the thick length caught at the top. And it was her turn to feel the lightning. Her lids lowered and her head fell back as she savored the lush feeling.

  “Ohhh.”

  He took advantage of that little moan. “Kiss me again.”

  She did. Passionately. Wildly, nibbling at his lips before holding his mouth to hers and kissing him deeply.

  His hand slid through her hair, pulling slightly. The pleasure/pain only added to her excitement. “Honey, tell me to take it easy.”

  “I don’t want you easy.”

  “You don’t know what you’re asking.”

  “Then show me.”

  She opened her mouth the minute his touched hers. She wanted him, wanted this. He made it all so good.

  Breaking off the kiss, he hugged her tightly. His groan vibrated against her neck. “How come every time you make me burn there’s no place to go?”

  “I do not know.”

  He let go of her hips. “Hold tight.”

  She wrapped her legs around his waist, not caring where he took her as long as he didn’t break the kiss. He turned, resting her back against Night’s side. The horse sidestepped. He went with it. Night went farther. Shadow stumbled. Fei dropped her legs from around his waist.

  “Oh, no, you don’t.”

  “It is not working.”

  “I want you.” It came out a growl. She shivered. Desire and lust blended into thought-stealing bliss.

  “Goddamn, honey, I want to take this slow, but I don’t know if I can. I want you too much.”

  “I do not fight you.”

  “You should. You should be kicking and screaming and telling me to mind my manners.”

  Her fingers went back to the buttons of his pants. “I want you the way you are.”

  “That man will hurt you.”

  “Not on purpose.”

  “Pain is pain.”

  She shrugged. “Then you will hurt me, but I want the real you, not the one you give other women. I want the you that you hide. The you that you are afraid of. I do not want secrets. I do not want pretense. When this is between us, I want it to be honest.”

  “You want a lot.”

  She shook her head and pressed her lips against his chest. “Just you.” Touching her finger to the spot, she whispered, “I like that you do not have hair here.”

  He chuckled. Such a deep, pleasant sound. “Glad I could oblige.”

  Feeling daring, she touched her tongue to his chest. He stiffened, but his hands drew her closer. He liked it. And she liked knowing she could give back the pleasure pouring through her.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Tasting you.”

  He shuddered. Ducking her head, she hid her smile. “You taste salty.”

  She pushed the shirt off his shoulders and stopped. And stared at the pattern of violence. So many scars marred the darkness of his skin. So much damage. So much pain.

  “Oh.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  Her fingers traced a scar across his abdomen. “You have been hurt.”

  “Just an old wound. It doesn’t pain me now.”

  Covering the scar with her hand, she whispered, “My warrior dragon.”

  He shook his head. “Just a man, honey.”

  “My man, tonight.” She pushed at his pants. Her gift to herself.

  “Yes.” His finger under her chin forced her gaze away from his body.

  His eyes were dark. Mysterious. Hot. “Have you ever done this before?”

  So fast she couldn’t hide the impact, shame washed through her. What was so exciting for her was boring him. “I am sorry. I have not the experience—”

  His finger against her mouth cut off the apology. “I wasn’t criticizing, but there are some things a man needs to know.”

  He was worried about her. She kissed his finger and rocked on his manhood, following the surges of joy rather than the drag of worry. Tomorrow would come no matter what she did tonight. But tonight she wanted to enjoy being a woman. Shadow’s woman. “I am a virgin, and you have too many clothes on.”

  There was only the slighted of hesitations, before he drawled, “Naked might be a little bit too much for you now.”

  It was very sweet he wanted to protect her. Her hair tumbled about her face as she shook her head. “I would like to see what I have touched.”

  “Who am I to argue with that?”

  “Fei?” The call came from beyond the copse of bushes. Lin. She was looking for them.

  Shadow let her slide down his big body. A shudder went through her at the stroke of all that muscle. An equally strong shudder went through him.

  “I am sorry,” Fei said quickly, stepping away.

  Just as quickly he hauled her back with a hand behind her neck. His mouth met hers in a biting kiss that marked, claimed, owned. “Don’t be sorry. Just be ready.”

  “For what?”

  He set her away. “To finish what we started.”

  Fei laughed. “I will be.” She felt desirable and womanly and powerful. Before she straightened, she stroked over hands over Shadow’s stomach, dragging her short nails across the slabs of muscle. He moaned and his hips bucked.

  Very powerful.

  “Fei?” Lin called again.

  With a twitch of her hips, she took a canteen off the saddle. “Coming.”

  “What are you doing?” Shadow asked.

  “Getting ready.”

  His eyes narrowed. “Fei…”

  Backing up, she said, “I will bring her water and tell her you wish to bathe and will be back shortly.”

  His expression was knowing as he looked at her face. She was immediately aware of her swollen lips, flushed cheeks and tangled hair.

  “That’s not going to fool anyone.”

  She smiled. “I do not need to fool her. I just need to let her know that we need privacy.”

  “I guess I can live with that.”

  FEI WAS BACK IN JUST a few minutes, carrying the bedroll. She looked surprisingly relaxed for a woman who was about to make love for the first time. And with her cousin just a few feet away. Shadow had met women who liked to be watched. He wouldn’t have pegged Fei as one of them.

  “What if your cousin comes down?”

  She smiled. “She will not.”

  There was something in that smile… “What makes you so sure?”

  “I made her tea.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “She has had a very full day. It would do her well to sleep.”

  “You…drugged her?”

  Fei shrugged. “If I had not, she would have spent the night talking and I would not have had this time with you.”

  Son of a bitch. He didn’t know whether to be flattered or appalled.

  Fei laid the bedroll on the ground. Deciding to be flattered, Shadow picked it up. “Not there. It’s too close to the stream. The damp will get to you.”

  “Then where?”

  “Here.” He took her to the side where he’d cut and laid down pine boughs.

  “You made us a bed.”

  She smiled as if it were a four-poster. That smile did something…soft to his insides. “No reason for us not to be comfortable.”

  “And you took off your guns.”

  It didn’t feel right not to. “Yes.”

&nb
sp; “But not your pants.”

  “No.” No matter what she said, he wanted this to be a night she remembered with a smile.

  Her smile was shy as she followed him. “Thank you.”

  He tossed the bedroll on the pine boughs. “Not feeling as brave as before?”

  “It is not that I am not brave. When you touch me, I am very brave. When I am left to my own thoughts—” she shrugged and glanced away “—I feel awkward and silly.”

  She was beautiful and everything he desired. There wasn’t any other way he ever wanted her to see herself.

  “Well, then, honey…” He opened his arms. “Come here and be brave.”

  The smile came again, stronger, surer. Shadow couldn’t wait any longer. Pulling her to him, he kissed her. Slow and easy. Easy turned to passion, passion to fire. Fei moaned and opened her mouth to the thrust of his tongue, inviting him in with excited little moans that shot past his control to the seat of his desire. She tasted of mint and woman. Of hope and desire. Of innocence and sex. She tasted good.

  She felt even better. Slim and supple, sleek like a cat. He cupped her breasts through the silk of her tunic. Small but plump, they swelled to his touch, enticing him to stroke and squeeze. She gasped and moaned, turning into his palm. He left his hand there a minute, letting her get used to the sensation. The nipple grew hard and prodded against his thumb. He gave it a flick, taking her gasp as his own, wishing he could see her response as well as feel it.

  “Very nice.”

  “Do it again,” she whispered.

  He did, again and again. She twisted against him, trying to get more of that sensation. He gave it to her in a light pinch, holding it for a little bit longer the next time, giving her a little more pressure, a little more persuasion. He wanted that wild woman in her to come out. He wanted the same honesty from her that she wanted from him. When she moaned, he smiled. Her nails dug into the back of his neck, pulling him closer. Her mouth opened wider, inviting him deeper.

  “God, Fei, I’ve got to have you.”

  “You’ve got me.”

  Yes, he did. In his arms, in his life, and now in his bed. He scooped her up. She had him too hot. If he came at her like this, he’d hurt her. He straightened and tilted his head back, sucking in long drafts of air. It carried the scent of her skin, the beauty of the night, the promise of her passion.

  “Give me a minute, Fei.”

  She didn’t even give him a second. Kissing her way down his chest, she sprinkled random little kisses that fractured his control. She had no idea what she was doing to him, couldn’t know. Son of a bitch, he was on fire.

  With fingers that shook, he spread the lapels of her tunic, forcing himself to be gentle. Her delicate breasts, tipped with those luscious nipples strained for attention. He skimmed the outside of her right breast, tracing the circumference, resting its weight in his palm, cupping it from underneath, plumping it up just that little bit as he leaned in.

  “Oh, yes,” she breathed above his head.

  He smiled. There was a lot to be said for having an honest woman who wanted it all. He flicked the hard nub with his tongue, centering her attention before taking her into his mouth. She squirmed and wiggled. He sucked and nibbled. When she arched, he took more, increasing the pressure, the suction, until she cried out and held him to her. Goddamn, she was sweet. He smacked her ass lightly, smiling as she writhed. His passionate wife. Kissing her nipple one last time, he whispered, “You’re beautiful, Fei.”

  Switching positions, he lowered them both until she was cradled in his lap. Working his hand lower, between her legs, he cupped the heat of her pussy, coating his finger with her juices, searching with his middle finger until he found the well of her vagina.

  Virgin.

  He had to be careful. Go slowly. He pressed lightly.

  She froze, barely breathing as he teased the tempting hollow.

  “It’s all right. This will feel just as good.”

  “Shadow?”

  She was afraid. He didn’t want her afraid. He wanted her wild again. He rubbed her clit with his thumb. Just a little. Very little, but enough that she felt it. When she was quivering and arching up, he pressed his finger in, taking her that first little bit. She shook under the shock. Her pussy flexed against his palm. She quivered under the next pass of his thumb. So delicate, so fine, so eager. Another circle of his thumb. Another press of his finger. A little deeper. A little faster. Her fingers dug into his forearm as she pushed up, every muscle, every sense, attuned, waiting for the next pass, the next press. He gave it to her in a firmer stroke.

  “Come for me, Fei.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Yes, you can.”

  He started over, light to hard, waiting until she started to squirm and arch up, showing him that she was ready for more, begging. And he gave it to her. Harder. Faster. Always being aware of her pleasure, her need. It was all about her tonight. Even if it killed him, it was going to be all about her. He could feel the hardness of her nipples poking into his chest. Hear her gasps of pleasure and anticipation. He could see the anticipatory flex of her muscles as she awaited what he would do next. She was ready. More than ready.

  Sliding his fingers between her buttocks, he grazed the rosebud beneath. Just a little touch. Just enough to tease them both.

  Jerking up, she gasped, “I do not think—”

  “You don’t need to think. Just feel.” He swirled his finger back through her thick juices, finding her clit and pinching it lightly.

  She slumped across his lap, in total surrender. His to do with as he willed. He eased his hand farther down.

  “Spread your legs, honey.”

  It took her a second, but she did, exposing herself gradually. She wasn’t sure of this, but she trusted him.

  “I’m not going to hurt you. I’m just going to build this fire a little bit more.”

  Shaking her head, she gasped, “I do not think I can take any more.”

  She definitely needed more. He wanted her to come. “You can.”

  Her juices were creamy against his finger, her scent a light spice in the air. He found her clit easily. Hard and distended, it begged for his touch. He rubbed it gently, very gently, easing her back into the sensation, letting the pleasure build gradually, letting her make it happen for herself in the slow pulses of her hips, learning her rhythm as she learned it.

  “Shadow…”

  “It’s all right. Don’t fight it. Let me make you feel good.” He added a bit more pressure. She cried out and shook, every muscle going stiff as the pleasure crested. “That’s it, just like that. Come for me, Fei. Just for me.”

  He needed to feel it happen the first time. If not around his cock, then the next best thing. Keeping the pressure on her clit, he add a second finger. Going farther, taking more.

  She came hard, his name on her lips, her fingers digging into his arm, her thighs clenched around his hand, holding him to her with everything she had. He milked her clit, milked her climax, his own pleasure threatening to erupt as she sighed his name one last time.

  Turning her toward him, he lifted her up, cradling her against his chest, kissing her cheek, her chin, her nose, not wanting her alone in that moment, that first time.

  “Mine.” The claim whispered from his soul, oblivious to their pact, uncaring of the obstacles between them.

  Fei clung to his neck, her tears wetting his chest, her nails pressed into his nape as tiny quivers rippled under her skin. “Yes.”

  Shit, she shouldn’t say things like that to him. He wasn’t one of her civilized men. He thought in terms of possession. Of control. And everything in him wanted to keep her. Regardless of the consequences. Cupping her breast in his hand, Shadow kept kissing her softly until she finally relaxed against him.

  Mine.

  This time he was the only one who heard.

  FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER, Fei started to cry. Big fat tears that were prefaced by a near-silent hiccup. When she started to inch awa
y, Shadow almost let her, but as the space between them increased, the dissatisfaction inside him expanded, too. A whisper of a memory came to him then, of being young and hurt, of standing in the dark, afraid to cry for fear of another blow, afraid to remain silent in case this time was the one in which comfort would be offered. He hated those memories, hated to be reminded of how weak he’d been. But what he hated more was seeing Fei wrestle with the same uncertainty.