In Your Heart

by Micalea Smeltzer

  Maddox was the first to bound onto the stage, so full of energy. He sat down behind his kit and began to tap out a beat as the other guys climbed the steps to the stage.

  The girls had screamed at Maddox’s appearance, but now that the rest of the band had joined him the screams became deafening.

  “Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God,” a girl beside me fanned her face, “I think I’m going to pass out.”

  If she did I wouldn’t catch her.

  Okay, that was mean of me, so I probably would help her out if she actually passed out but hopefully she could keep it together.

  Emma snickered beside me.

  Mathias grabbed the microphone, putting on his game face. He spoke charmingly to the crowd for a moment, hyping them up while Maddox continued to play a light beat in the background.

  Mathias nodded to Hayes, giving him the cue.

  Hayes began to play and the sound of his guitar blasted through us.

  Mathias started to sing and Ezra joined in with the bass.

  I loved watching Ezra play. He was always so in the zone, completely absorbed in the feel of the song. His foot tapped against the stage and he leaned into his bass, almost like he wished he could slip inside and become one with it. He bit his bottom lip and his eyes closed momentarily.

  He was so beautiful.

  And maybe that was a weird thing to think about a guy, but it was true. When he was up on stage, living his dream, and loving his music, he truly was beautiful.

  Beside me Emma sang along to the song, really getting into it. She even busted out a few dance moves. Before Maddox she didn’t even listen to this kind of music. I loved that she’d managed to come out of her shell.

  I joined her, singing and dancing to the song.

  It was humid and in no time sweat drenched my body, but I didn’t care. I was having too much fun.

  When I glanced back up at the stage my eyes connected with Ezra’s. Somehow he’d spotted me, even from this distance. He flashed me a smile before ducking his head and focusing on playing.

  Mathias grasped the microphone, belting out the song like his very soul demanded he sing the words.

  Hayes jumped around on the stage like he was possessed. I didn’t know how he managed to jump like that and play guitar at the same time.

  Maddox’s drumsticks clashed against the cymbals and his shirt stuck to his chest with sweat. His messy brown hair was just as damp.

  When the guys were on stage they truly performed, they didn’t just stand there. They made you feel and live the music with them.

  When their set ended fireworks went off. I turned to Emma with surprise in my eyes.

  “What did you expect?” She laughed. “It’s Willow Creek. This town pulls out the big guns for them.”

  “Obviously.”

  We ducked out of the crowd and headed back into the tent.

  The guys joined us a few minutes later. All of them were sweaty, their faces flushed from the heat. Hayes grabbed a bottle of water, drinking at it greedily. The other guys grabbed waters as well.

  Maddox stripped off his shirt, giving everyone an eyeful of his abs. One of the women working in the tent sighed happily and Emma glared at her.

  “Put your shirt back on before you get mauled.” She demanded.

  Maddox grinned, wiping a dribble of water off his chin. “Aw, babe, are you jealous?” He glanced in the direction of the woman who was trying to busy herself by restocking the refrigerator, but kept stealing glances at the half-naked drummer.

  “Of course not.” Emma scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

  “I think it’s hot when you get jealous,” he told her, striding over. “But the shirt is staying off for now. I’m too hot.” He fanned himself. “This heat is ridiculous. Are you sure you want us to vacation at a beach? Because right about now, escaping to some place cold sounds like a mighty fine idea, don’t you want to see my epic snowboarding skills?”

  “Don’t go changing plans now,” she warned him, “you’ll confuse everyone.”

  “When are we supposed to leave for this vacation?” Mathias asked, sinking down into a chair. He said the word vacation like it left a sour taste in his mouth. I figured after being on tour for so long he didn’t want to travel, but Emma was adamant that she wanted all of us to go, and I knew all of the guys would do anything to make her happy.

  “Next Friday, and we’ll be gone for a week,” Emma replied.

  “When does the meet and greet start?” Hayes interrupted, running his fingers through his damp hair.

  “Thirty minutes,” Maddox said, looking at the watch on his wrist.

  “Good. I’m starving, so that gives me a chance to stuff my face.”

  “Didn’t you eat before you guys went on stage?” I asked.

  He shrugged, grabbing a plate and piling food on it. “I’m already hungry.”

  “Hayes is always hungry.” Mathias rolled his eyes. “He’s a bottomless fucking pit.”

  “When you have a kid are you still going to use the word fuck in every sentence?” Maddox glared at his brother.

  “Hey, I’m working on it,” Mathias growled, “it’s pretty fucking hard to stop using a word you’ve said all of your life.”

  Maddox sighed. “My nephew is going to have a potty mouth.” He tossed his hands up, like he was already resigned to this fact. “He’s going to end up calling me Uncle Fucking Maddox.”

  “Sounds good to me.” Mathias grinned. Actually grinned—like his lips lifted and he showed his teeth and everything.

  Maddox laughed and so did Mathias. They looked more like twins to me in that moment than they ever had. Despite being identical, it was always easy to tell them apart. Maddox had an easy smile, while Mathias’ face was usually pinched with irritation.

  Ezra came over to stand beside me, his fingers purposefully grazing my arm.

  A small gasp escaped between my lips and I forced myself to remain still. I didn’t want him to know how much his touch affected me. But based on the way his lips danced, he was very aware of what he was doing to me.

  With the remaining free time we all ate the food provided and the guys attempted to regale their appearances so they didn’t look so sweaty and dirty. I didn’t think the fans would mind, though.

  For the meet and greet more chairs were brought in and the guys sat down. I noticed they did that a lot and I figured it was to seem more approachable. When you had four giant rock stars staring down at you it could be intimidating.

  “Are you excited for your little friends to joins us?” I joked, looking at Ezra.

  He shrugged. “You betcha.”

  “Friends?” Maddox leaned around his twin to look at Ezra. “Honey, are you cheating on me? I thought our friendship was real.”

  Ezra laughed. “Yeah, sorry dude, you just don’t do it for me.”

  “I feel like everything I’ve known to be true is now a lie.” Maddox gasped, putting a hand over his heart. “What a cruel, cruel world we live in.”

  Ezra shook his head. “It’s just a few fans that were at the circus and I told them they could come.” He grinned suddenly, no doubt remembering the girl with a clear crush on Maddox. “I think you’re really going to like them.”

  “Hey,” Emma interrupted, snapping her fingers, “what are you up to?” She narrowed her eyes on Ezra.

  “Nothing.” He raised his hands innocently.

  “We’re going to start letting them in.” One of the festival workers, who I had learned was named Hannah, stood by the tent entrance.

  “Bring it on,” Maddox clapped his hands together, “I’m ready for battle.”

  At his words Hannah opened the tent flap and she started letting people in.

  The guys graciously doled out hugs and posed for pictures and signed whatever was tossed their way. I knew they had to be exhausted from their set, but they all kept smiles on their faces. Even Mathias.

  I spotted the girls from the circus and the one with the drummer shirt l
ooked like she was ready to pass out.

  When she saw Maddox she lost all control and ran right at him.

  Maddox was quick and caught her in a hug before they could fall to the ground.

  He placed her down gently, but was obviously rattled.

  “Hi,” she peered up at him with wide eyes, “I’m Taylor and I’m your biggest fan ever. Like ever. Wow, I can’t believe I’m meeting you. You’re even hotter in person.” She reached out to touch his jaw and he flinched away as she stared at him in awe. “Your jawline is more structured than my life.”

  Maddox’s lips pressed together and the other guys dissolved into laughter.

  The other girls—and reluctant parent’s—gathered for the meet and greet watched the exchange.

  “Uh…thanks?” Maddox said. I’d never seen him so unsure before. Normally you could count on Maddox to have some sort of witty comeback.

  “I’m sorry,” the girl put a hand to her forehead, “you probably think I’m so weird.”

  Maddox grinned, his charm slipping into place. “Weird is beautiful.”

  She giggled, her cheeks flaming red.

  Beside me Emma laughed, shaking her head. We’d moved to the back corner to be out of the way. “I’m so afraid that poor girl is going to pee her pants.”

  “It’s a possibility,” I agreed.

  Another hour passed while the guys conversed with the meet and greet attendees and I lost count of how many pictures they continued to pose for.

  Finally everyone was cleared out of the room and we were free to go.

  It was getting late now, and darkness had settled into the summer sky.

  Mathias grabbed his cardigan and hauled ass out of there before any of us could tell him goodbye. I knew he was probably worried about Remy. Those two were almost as bad as Maddox and Emma.

  Maddox and Emma headed out next, leaving Ezra and I alone with Hayes.

  Hayes paused by the tent entrance and looked back at us. “I’m hanging out here for a while longer, y’all wanna come?”

  Ezra was quick to shake his head. “No, I have to get Toby home.”

  “Toby?” Hayes asked, his forehead wrinkling in confusion.

  “The goldfish.” Ezra pointed at the lazily swimming fish.

  “Oh, right.” Hayes raised two fingers in a salute. “I’ll see you later then.”

  Ezra lifted his chin in goodbye and waved.

  Once he was gone Ezra admitted that he was tired.

  “Me too,” I agreed, and I hadn’t even been the one performing.

  We gathered up our stuff, including Toby, and met his bodyguards outside the tent so they could escort us back to his car.

  The festival was still raging and seemed even more crowded than it had been earlier.

  Luckily, most people seemed too drunk to recognize Ezra so we made it to his car without incident.

  I held Toby’s jar tightly in my hands, afraid that the car ride might jostle him too much. It would totally suck if Ezra and I ended up killing the goldfish before we even made it home.

  Ezra backed out and started the drive home. Since he lived in the middle of nowhere it took us a while to get back to his place.

  I dropped my bag on the floor as soon as we got in and set Toby on the counter.

  “We need to get him a little fish tank,” I told Ezra as I headed for the stairs.

  “I’ll take care of it,” he assured me, grabbing a bag of chips and a drink before following me

  I took a quick shower and changed into my pajamas.

  I was starting into my room when Ezra called my name.

  I padded down the short hallway and stood in the doorway. “Yeah?” I asked, as his eyes raked over my body. My pajamas consisted of a pair of shorts and a tank top. The shirt was pulled taut against my breasts and I was sure he was getting quite the show.

  “Sleep in here tonight.” He patted the empty space beside him. He was shirtless and the glare from the TV screen made his chest glow.

  “What did you say?” I wet my lips. I couldn’t possibly have heard him right.

  He turned back the blankets on the other side and patted the empty space again. “Sleep in here,” he repeated, “we don’t have to do anything, but I…” He paused, clearing his throat. “Please?” He settled on.

  I began to sway, suddenly feeling lightheaded, and I realized I’d been holding my breath.

  “Okay,” I squeaked like a mouse. I’d never been so unsure of myself before. I’d always been a confident girl, comfortable in my own skin, but Ezra shook up my insides to the point that I didn’t recognize them.

  I tiptoed into his bedroom and slipped beneath the smooth, silky sheets.

  Ezra turned off his bedside light, but left the TV on.

  He burrowed under the covers and I jolted when his arms wrapped around me.

  He pulled me against his body and tucked one of my legs between his.

  My heart raced a million miles an hour.

  This…this was so much more than just sex.

  This was something real couples did. He held me tightly, like he didn’t want to let go.

  He pressed a tender kiss to the back of my neck and then lower between my shoulder blades over my tattoo.

  “Goodnight, Sadie,” he whispered in the darkness.

  “’Night.”

  This was nothing.

  It meant nothing.

  We were nothing.

  Nothing.

  Nothing.

  Nothing.

  So why did it feel like everything?

  MY PENCIL DRAGGED lazily across the blank white page. I could see the dress perfectly in my head, now I just had to get it down on paper.

  I’d drawn a few possible designs for Emma’s dress already, but I vetoed them without even showing her. They were all lacking something. I wanted this dress to be one hundred percent Emma, and the idea I had now I knew was perfect.

  The dress slowly appeared before my eyes and I began to flesh it out, adding the smaller details.

  Downstairs something fell over and Ezra yelled, “I’m okay. Don’t come down yet!”

  “Alright!” I called back.

  He’d banished me upstairs and told me he had a surprise for me. I was definitely curious to know what he was up to, but luckily I’d been distracted by my design. Without a distraction I would’ve forced myself past his barricade—yes, he made a barricade—just to see what he was up to.

  I finished my drawing and I smiled at it. I knew Emma would love it and I couldn’t wait to see her face when I showed her. I was already planning out the fabrics I would need to buy and how much time it would take to make the dress. It wasn’t too complicated of a design, but I knew to account for the fact that I might run into a problem.

  “I’m ready!” Ezra called. “You can come down now!”

  I set my sketchpad aside and scurried down the stairs, nearly falling in my haste.

  He’d cleared away the barricade and when I reached the bottom of the steps I saw that he’d moved the furniture out of the way and covered the floor with a large white sheet.

  On top of the sheet was a Twister mat—yeah, like the game—and on top of each colored circle was a splattering of a matching paint color.

  “What is this?” I asked.

  “Twister…with a twist.” He chuckled, standing with his arms crossed over his chest as he admired his handy work.

  “Why?” I stood beside him, staring at the mat on the ground in wonder.

  He glanced down at me. “We leave for Florida tomorrow and I know it’ll be nearly impossible for us to get any time alone, so I thought we would do something fun today.”

  “So…you want us to roll around in paint?”

  His laughter vibrated through his chest and he shoved his unruly black hair out of his eyes. “Getting you dirty has a certain appeal.”

  “At least you’re honest. But I’m not sure how I feel about ruining my clothes.”

  “Such a girl,” he muttered, the
n cracked a smile, “it’s a good thing I think of everything.”

  He grabbed a pair of brand new white shorts and a white t-shirt. I noticed then that he was dressed in white jeans and a white shirt. By the end of this both would be covered in a kaleidoscope of colors.

  I took the clothes from him and stripped down right there. I didn’t think there was any reason to be modest at this point. I folded what I’d been wearing before and set it on the steps.

  “You wanna go first?” He asked me, a challenge gleaming in his eyes.

  “Sure.” I agreed, stepping over onto the sheet beside the mat.

  He picked up the board and spun. “Right hand green.”

  I crouched down and put my hand on one of the circles, right smack in the middle of the paint. It squished between my fingers and felt cold and gross, but I kept my face straight so that he wouldn’t make fun of me.

  “Your turn,” I declared, waving my hand for the board so that I could spin for him. He held it out to me and I flicked the spinner. “Left foot yellow.”

  He stuck his foot out and immediately spun for me. “Right foot red.”

  “I’m not that flexible!” I groaned, stretching out to reach a red circle all the way on the opposite side of the mat while still keeping my hand on the green circle.

  “I’d beg to differ,” he whispered under his breath.

  I rolled my eyes and spun for him. “Left foot blue.” He moved his foot. “Ugh,” I groaned, “that’s so not fair! My muscles are screaming and you only had to move your freaking foot!”

  “Don’t hate the player, babe,” he grinned, lifting his shoulders in a small shrug.

  “I’ll show you a player,” I grumbled.

  “Don’t be like that.” He continued to grin, definitely unconcerned with my current pissed off state. He spun and called out, “Left hand blue.”

  “Motherfucker,” I cursed, trying to position myself. I ended up bumping into Ezra and my hands landed on his butt to steady myself, leaving behind streaks of paint.

  He stumbled from the impact of my weight and then tripped over me.

  We fell together in a tangle of limbs, paint getting all over our clothes and hair.

  “Well, that didn’t go according to plan.” I muttered, laying flat across his chest.