Best of Virgins Bundle

by Cathy Williams

  Silence blanketed the room as Olivia’s words sank in among the stunned people at the table.

  “What are you talking about?” Edward demanded.

  Olivia turned to look at Matt and for the first time, he saw the reflection of his own grief, his own guilt, in her eyes. Olivia had suffered just as much as he had, but she had covered it all with a mask of haughty indifference. He hadn’t been the only one who hurt, who went to bed with an aching heart every single night for eleven years.

  “It was my fault, Matt,” she continued. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you. I meant to, but then…you were gone.”

  “What are you talking about?” Edward asked.

  “The baby didn’t die of SIDS, like I told everyone.” Olivia took a deep breath. “He had a heart condition called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. It was genetic. My brother and my Aunt Colleen’s baby had it.” She looked at Matt. “I should have—”

  “Olivia, I know. I saw the autopsy report today.”

  She blinked. “You did?”

  “I’d put the pieces together, with a little help.” He cast a quick glance at Katie. “So I stopped off at the county coroner’s office today and got a copy.” He pulled the sheets out of his back pocket and handed them to her.

  She took a cursory glance at it, but it was clear she’d read the words before. “Then why…why didn’t you tell everyone it was really my fault?”

  “Olivia, it was still just as much mine. If I’d been sober, maybe I would have heard or seen Matthew stop breathing. I could have gotten him to the hospital in time. Maybe. Maybe not.” He let out a long sigh. “Either way, I think we’ve both suffered enough. Don’t you?”

  A tear slipped down her face. “I lied to the doctors, Matt. I didn’t tell them about my family history. I…I thought maybe our baby would be different. I mean, I didn’t have it, so maybe my children wouldn’t either. I was young and I guess I thought if I didn’t say anything about the disease, it couldn’t happen.”

  “You could have told me, Olivia.” Matt’s voice broke.

  “I know.” The tears were coming earnestly now, washing the rest of the makeup off her face, stripping her bare. “I was wrong. I never expected you to be a real father. I thought you’d marry me and leave me, like everyone else always had. But when you didn’t, I kept hoping that it would all work out somehow.”

  “You kept this to yourself? All these years?” Edward asked.

  She nodded, her eyes downcast, apparently unable to look at the in-laws and the husband she had deceived. “Don’t you understand? It was my fault, Matt. I gave him that disease.” She lowered her head to her hands and sobbed, her shoulders shaking. “I couldn’t stay in that apartment, night after night, and hear him cry. Every time I heard him cry, I was afraid. I thought maybe it meant he was sick. I couldn’t face it. I…I was seventeen. I know that’s not an excuse, but…it was just all so overwhelming and you seemed to handle him so much better. I felt like such a failure, Matt. I couldn’t face that. Or face you. And when he died—” Her voice tore on the last word.

  Matt pushed his chair back and did something he should have done a long time ago. He crossed to Olivia, gently tugged her to her feet and pulled her into his arms. She sobbed against his shoulder, repeating over and over again that she was sorry. He stroked her hair, whispering to her that it was okay.

  Finally forgiving her.

  “Katie!” Sarah’s urgent whisper came from the dining room door. “Katie!”

  Katie slipped over to the doorway. “What?”

  Sarah motioned for her to come out into the hall. When the door swung shut behind them, Sarah held up one finger and braced her hand against the wall. She was panting hard. “I need to go to the hospital,” she said between breaths.

  “Now?!”

  “I don’t think Little Jack wants to wait any longer. My water broke in the bathroom and—” Her face contorted with pain. “Now, Katie,” she said through gritted teeth.

  “But what about Jack?”

  “He’ll never make it in time. I called his cell phone and told him to meet us at the hospital.”

  “We should call an ambulance,” Katie said.

  Sarah shook her head. “You know Mercy doesn’t have an ambulance and the, the…” she paused to pant, “the Lawford one would take at least…twenty minutes to get here. We could be…at the hospital by then.”

  “Okay, okay,” Katie said. “Stay right there. Let me grab my purse and I’ll take you right now.”

  Katie turned and dashed back into the room. Olivia had sat down and was drying her eyes with a handkerchief. Georgianne and Edward both looked shell-shocked. Matt was standing by Katie’s chair, a worried expression on his face. “Is Sarah all right?”

  Katie shook her head and grabbed her purse off the counter. “No. She needs to get to the hospital. She’s having the baby.”

  “Now?”

  “Yup.” Katie rooted around in her bag until she found the keys to the van. “I’m sorry, Matt, but I have to go.” She turned to Georgianne. “Thank you, Mrs. Webster, but I really have to leave. I’ll get back to you about the flowers.”

  “No rush, dear.” Georgianne laughed. “No rush at all.”

  “I’m going with you,” Matt said.

  She paused long enough to look at him. “You don’t have to. I’d understand if it might be difficult for you because—”

  “I want to go with you,” he said. “I’ll drive. You help Sarah.”

  “Okay.” She and Matt started for the doorway.

  “Son, before you go…”

  Matt pivoted, his hand still holding the swinging door open. “What?”

  “There’s something I need to say to you. I was too damned stubborn to say it before.” Edward raised himself up on his arms, slowly got out of his chair and crossed the room to Matt. He hesitated for a second, then opened his arms. “I’m sorry, Matt. For so many things.”

  Matt heard the regret and vulnerability in his father’s words and felt his throat constrict. His father’s arms went around him and for a moment, he wasn’t sure how to respond.

  He hadn’t felt the need or desire to hug his father since he was a boy. Not since he’d won his first baseball game at the age of seven. He’d run up to his father, arms outstretched, the joy of victory filling his young-boy heart. All he’d received in return was a stiff, one-armed pat and an admonishment to behave with more decorum in public. That cold response had hurt for a long, long time.

  But that was the past. There had been a lot of new beginnings in this room tonight, Matt realized. And he would be a fool to let the wounds of the past keep him from healing the present.

  He let go of the door and held on to his father. Matt wasn’t sure, but he thought he felt a tear trickle onto his neck. He gripped his father harder and was rewarded with a firm bear hug in return.

  “Katie!!” Sarah’s shriek was urgent. “We have to go now!”

  His father released him. “We’ll talk later.” Edward put an aged, wrinkled hand to Matt’s cheek. “Find your happiness wherever you need to, Matt. I guess I’ve finally realized it’s your life to live, not mine.”

  “Thanks, Dad.” Matt didn’t have time to let his father’s words sink in. Sarah let out a scream and he was out the door in a flash.

  “We’re not going to make it,” Katie called to Matt. She was in the back of the van with Sarah, holding her hand and helping her breathe. Katie’s sole knowledge of childbirth came from watching ER, so she wasn’t even sure she was coaching Sarah correctly.

  “This baby wants out and he wants out now,” Sarah cried, panting hard. She squeezed Katie’s hand so tightly, Katie had to bite her lip to keep from joining in on Sarah’s screams.

  “Are you sure?” Matt glanced over the seat at them.

  “Am I sure?” Sarah gave a half laugh. “Oh yeah. Please—” pant, pant “—get me to the hospital!”

  He was driving as fast as he dared in Katie and Sarah’s ramshackle van. It h
ad been the closest vehicle to the door and the only one big enough to let Sarah lie down on the pillow and blanket she’d brought.

  Another storm had started up almost the moment they left the driveway. Whipping winds and driving rain were reducing visibility to almost nothing. For the tenth time that night, Matt wished he had insisted on an ambulance instead of thinking he could get Sarah to the hospital faster. They were only ten minutes from the hospital now but every second that passed increased Matt’s worry.

  If another baby died because of his recklessness…

  “I feel the baby’s head,” Sarah screamed, all in one long word. “He’s coming now!”

  Matt veered to the right. The rain was pouring down in sheets. They were never going to get to the hospital in time. Matt spotted a familiar building and gunned the engine. He drove down the bumpy road as fast as he could.

  Sarah let out a loud and very unladylike curse. “What kind of road is this? The baby’s going to bounce right out of—” She stopped midsentence and let out another scream.

  Matt skidded to a stop and leapt out of the van. He dashed to the wide wooden doors, ignoring the rain pouring down his face, and flung them open. Then he returned to the van, turned it around and quickly backed into the barn.

  The Emery farm probably wasn’t the best place to have a baby but it was the closest shelter he knew of. It would have to do.

  He hopped out again and pulled open the back doors to the van. Sarah had her legs propped up and was writhing with pain. “This is your version of a hospital?” she gasped. “Is Doctor Dolittle coming to deliver the baby?”

  Despite his own fear and worry about Sarah and her child, he laughed. “It looks like the only doctor you’re getting tonight is me,” he told her. “And I don’t talk to animals.”

  “What do we do?” Katie’s eyes were wide, frightened.

  In one vivid burst of memory, every bit of knowledge from Olivia’s childbirth classes and from the delivery of his own son came hurtling back. “I need a shoelace or something to tie off the cord and some more blankets. I know the tablecloth from our breakfast is still on the table. Get that to wrap the baby in.” He took in deep gulps of air, trying to think quickly. “Do you have a cell phone?”

  “Sarah does. Jack got it for her in case of an emergency.” Katie raced across the room to grab the cloth.

  “Get it and call 9-1-1.” He checked Sarah and realized they had even less time than he’d thought. “Tell them the baby is already crowning.”

  She tossed the tablecloth at him and hurried to the front of the van. She was back a moment later, cell phone to her ear.

  “Yes, we’ve done that,” she said. Katie turned to Matt. “I’ve got the dispatcher on the line. He’s going to talk us through this.”

  “Just get this baby out!” Sarah let out another scream. She gripped her stomach and looked down at the mound where a very determined baby resided. “Why,” she gasped, “oh why, couldn’t you wait till—” pant, pant “—we got to the h-h-hospital where they have d-d-drugs for this?”

  “Yes, a shoelace,” Katie said into the phone. She glanced around the room. Matt held out a foot to her, his hands busy helping Sarah hold her knees up.

  Katie tugged off his shoe and yanked the lacing out of the holes. She dropped it next to Matt and then clambered over by Sarah’s head.

  “Okay, Sarah, the baby is crowning,” Matt said. He wiped his palms on his pants and took a deep breath. “It’s time to push.”

  Katie helped her friend to a half sitting position and held her while Sarah screamed and bore down, pushing the baby out. Over and over, Sarah repeated the action, as the baby worked its way into the world.

  Matt’s voice, so calm, so confident, helped Sarah stay focused and kept Katie from panicking. The dispatcher was reassuringly giving warnings in her ear about cleaning the baby’s mouth and tying off the cord. She repeated the words to Matt. He accepted each instruction with a short nod.

  Throughout it all, he never lost his cool, never showed the least bit of fear. Katie knew that if it hadn’t been for him, she would have been a hysterical wreck and Sarah would have been birthing her own baby.

  “The head’s out!” Matt swiped inside the baby’s mouth with his finger, then looked up and smiled at Sarah and Katie. “One more push, Sarah, and we’ll get the shoulders and body out.”

  Katie helped Sarah pull her exhausted body up one more time. Sarah gritted her teeth and moaned, putting all her effort into the push.

  Matt held his hands under the baby’s head, gently helping the shoulders past the birth canal. With a whoosh, a new life came sliding into the half lit interior of an aged van and a decrepit barn, right out of Sarah and into Matt’s palms.

  He looked down at the tiny miracle he was holding and expected to relive the pain of his son’s death. But he didn’t. Instead, he felt indescribable joy, soaring through his heart like an eagle in flight.

  He had helped to bring a life into the world. A crying, squirming, beautiful life. He tied off the cord, wrapped the baby in the tablecloth, and handed the child to Sarah.

  “It’s a girl,” he whispered.

  Sarah burst into tears and laughter at the same time. “A girl? The way you were kicking me, I thought for sure you were a football player.” She softly stroked the baby’s cheek with her finger. “I’m going to name you Mattie.” She looked up at Katie and Matt. “For the two people who helped you come into this world.”

  Katie hugged Sarah to her and marveled at the tiny infant. Then she looked at Matt and saw the awe and happiness in his eyes. Somehow, it seemed right that a new life would begin in the very place where Matt had given up on his.

  The ambulance arrived a few minutes later. The paramedics loaded Sarah in, then asked Katie if she wanted to ride along. “Stay,” Sarah said. “I’ll be fine. Jack will be there soon. If I know him, he’ll drive a hundred the whole way, lights blazing.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Positive. Besides, I think Matt needs you more.” Sarah gave a little wave, then the paramedic shut the door.

  Matt stood alone in the center of the barn. The rain pelted down on the building, coming harder now. A thunderstorm was rumbling through Mercy, with driving winds and a heavy downpour.

  Once the wail of the siren began to fade, there was an uncomfortable moment of silence, punctuated only by the soft drips of water falling through the holes in the roof. And then, Matt reached for her, drawing her into the shelter of his arms, the warmth of his body. Joy soared through her.

  “Katie, I’m sorry,” he said, his chin against her head. “I was wrong not to tell you everything earlier.” He pulled back, took in a deep gulp of air. “I wasn’t sure you’d want me, after…”

  “…I heard about the night your son died.”

  He nodded. “I was irresponsible and wrong, and—”

  She put a finger to his lips. “—and very young. It wasn’t your fault, Matt.”

  “I know that now. But for so long, Katie, I’ve been afraid to try again, knowing I couldn’t go through that loss again. Even after I stopped drinking, I couldn’t be sure of myself, couldn’t trust myself to make the right choices. Then I helped Sarah have her baby and everything changed.” He tipped up her chin and met her gaze. “Everything.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “When the truth came out tonight and then later, when I helped deliver Sarah’s baby, I realized I had finally forgiven myself. I’m ready to go forward with my life, to move on.”

  She had to ask, had to be sure. “With Olivia?”

  “No, silly. With you.” He captured her face with his hands and lowered his mouth until it was inches away from hers. “It took me a while to realize just how much I needed you. And wanted you.”

  “I don’t think wanting was ever the problem.” She grinned.

  “I guess I always made myself pretty clear in that area.” His expression turned serious. “What I didn’t realize until tonight, until it was al
most too late and I was afraid I’d lost you…” he let his voice trail off.

  His breath was warm on her face, his lips so close that she knew all it would take was a slight sway in his direction to bring her mouth to his. But she stayed where she was, captivated, eager for him to finish the sentence.

  He hesitated, searched her gaze. “I didn’t lose you, did I?”

  She shook her head. “No, Matt, not even close.”

  “Well, I’ll just have to make sure there’s no possibility of losing you in the future, then. Because I don’t know what I’d do without you, Katie. I love you.”

  A rush of happiness ran through her, tingling all the way down. He loved her. For real. He loves me, she thought again. And again.

  “I love you, too,” she whispered, reveling in the words, pulling him closer.

  And when she kissed him, with love and trust and a promise of forever in her eyes, Matt felt the crevices of pain in his heart begin to heal. He wrapped his arms around her, intertwining himself with her until he couldn’t tell where he ended and she began.

  He was finally home.

  Epilogue

  “Katie!” Matt called for his wife. The house he and his crew, with some help from his father, had finished building a year ago on the old foundation was spacious, with enough room for them and an enormous, goofy dog—the first one he’d ever had.

  Katie had hung up her banana suit for good after she and Sarah had relocated A Pair of Posies to the remodeled barn, switching their business focus to floral design. His mother, thrilled with her new daughter-in-law’s talent, had made sure they were the most in-demand florists in Southeastern Indiana. Olivia’s business was also doing well and she sent as many clients to Katie and Sarah as they did to her. Funny how all their dreams had come true once they’d grown up and stopped living in the past.

  There was a playpen in the shop for Mattie, who was now a little over a year and inquisitive as a cat. Beside the playpen, a pair of baby swings sat empty and waiting. It wouldn’t be long now until the sound of crying and cooing filled both the house and the barn, Matt thought.