Writing a Killer Thriller
Page 6
“Drama is life with the dull parts left out.” – Alfred Hitchcock
So take out those dull parts – the parts with no conflict or tension, no trouble. And James Scott Bell says, “The greater the trouble, the greater the intensity.”
TIPS FOR ADDING TENSION
~ Start with an inciting incident and bridging conflict.
Today’s best-selling novels almost all start with tension and conflict, right from the opening paragraph. This initial tension, the inciting incident, may not – and probably won’t – be the main conflict of the story, but it needs to be meaningful and intriguing, in order to draw the reader in long enough to lead to bigger problems the protagonist faces. As Jessica Page Morrell points out, “The inciting incident, the first threat, sets the story in motion and tilts the protagonist off balance.”
Donald Maass calls this initial opening tension a “bridging conflict”: “There is, in any great opening line, a mini-conflict or tension that is strong enough to carry the reader to the next step in the narrative. […] After that, another electric spark of tension needs to strike us. If it does not, our interest begins to weaken and will pretty quickly fade out.”
So try to hook the reader in right away with a problem or a series of smaller conflicts that serve to capture and keep their attention until the main conflict or first large story question or event appears.
As Maass reveals, “The number one mistake I see in manuscript submissions is a failure to put the main conflict in place quickly enough; or perhaps, a failure to use bridging conflict to keep things going until the main problem is set.”
So to hook your readers in, include tension right away in your opening paragraph. Then you’ll need to continue to include tension and conflict, whether external (arguments, fights, verbal sparring, threats) or internal (worry, anger, hurt, indecision, fear, angst, frustration, regret) on every page of your novel.
“Never duck trouble – conflict – in your story. Seek it out, because that’s where excitement and involvement – as well as reader sympathy for your character – lie.” ~ Jack M. Bickham
~ Give them a protagonist they’ll want to worry about.
For readers to invest any interest or concern in the protagonist, they first need to actually care about him. So it’s critical to present your main character as a sympathetic, charismatic, resourceful, smart, strong – but vulnerable and conflicted – person the readers will want to root for and start worrying about. And make it clear early on what he really wants or needs. Then start to set up obstacles in his path that force him to reach down deep inside himself to find resources and hidden strengths to overcome them. His ongoing struggles will form your compelling plot and will contribute to his growth as a person, his character arc, making him ultimately stronger, wiser, and even more likeable.
~ And a worthy villain they’ll love to hate.
Make sure your antagonist is multidimensional, clever, determined, and nasty enough that he’s worthy of your hero. Give your hero a cunning adversary (or adversaries) who will challenge her to the max, so her struggle to defeat the villain will keep the readers biting their nails and turning the pages.
~ Write in close third-person POV, or deep point of view.
When readers get right in up close and personal with your character, feeling what she feels, they can’t help but be emotionally engaged and on the edge of their seats, worrying about her. Let us see the story world through your protagonist’s eyes and other senses, not from some distant omniscient point of view.
~ Throw the hero into a cauldron.
After your hero or heroine goes through the first door of no return, from the Act I into Act II, they enter the crucible or cauldron, from which there is no escape but to confront the opposition and fight their way out of it. You need to make it obvious why they can’t just leave, or the readers will say, “Why don’t they just walk away and go home?”
Here are some ways to force your protagonist to stay and fight:
– She’s physically trapped – on an island, in a locked building, in a remote wooded area, on a ship, in the desert, or...
– Walking away would violate his professional duty to act: He’s a police officer, an FBI agent, a teacher, a doctor, a nurse, a firefighter, a lifeguard, or an expert in a field, like a munitions expert who has to defuse a bomb.
– Walking away would violate her moral or ethical code: Someone is frail, injured, sick, or otherwise incapacitated, a child is in danger, innocent people are being threatened and unable to defend themselves.
– A loved one is threatened or kidnapped.
– The whole city, country, or world is at peril.
~ Create real conflict, not just accidents or coincidences.
Jack M. Bickham insists that effective tension in fiction involves conflict between two people, not just random accidents and bad luck for your protagonist. Give your hero or heroine someone they can fight against, to challenge them and help them grow and develop their character and inner strength.
Conflict, according to Bickham, is “active give-and-take, a struggle between story people with opposing goals. It is not, please note, bad luck or adversity. It isn’t fate. It’s a fight of some kind between people with opposing goals.”
Why not just have your character get into an accident? That works well once in a while to throw a wrench in the works, and it will create some sympathy for your character, but in order to really challenge your protagonist and stretch him to his limits, it’s usually best to pit him against a foe he can confront in a dramatic way and use his wits and other strengths to defeat. That way he’ll be forced to think quickly and use his physical and psychological resources to change the course of events and even avert disaster, which will result in a more exciting plot and a more effective character arc. And it will make the readers bond more with him.
~ Create complex problems with escalating conflict
The more complex and challenging the problems your protagonist faces, the more compelling a story it will be for your readers. And as your hero struggles to overcome the odds, raise the stakes even higher. Show his deepest fears and create obstacles that make him confront and defeat those fears. And it’s important that the problems and conflicts the protagonist faces are difficult and complex enough so readers don’t see an immediate solution, which would dissipate all the tension.
Also, in terms of fiction technique, Donald Maass specifies, “conflict must undergo complication. It must twist, turn, deepen and grow. Without that constant development, a novel, like a news event, will eventually lose its grip. To break out, simple plot structures need high stakes, complex characters, and layered conflicts.”
“In breakout fiction, the central conflict is as deep
and as bad as it can possibly be.”
~ Donald Mass
Maass spells out in detail the kind of ongoing, deepening tension needed for creating a page-turner, a breakout novel: “Conflict that holds our attention for long periods of time is meaningful, immediate, large-scale, surprising, not easily resolved, and happens to people for whom we feel sympathy.”
On the other hand, “Problems that are abstract, remote, trivial, ordinary, easily overcome, and/or happening to someone for whom we feel little…cannot fuel a gripping novel.”
~ Create subtle or overt tension, resentments, or competition even among friends, family members, co-workers, or allies.
Even in scenes where friends, neighbors, siblings, relatives, or colleagues are interacting, include some subtle discord, jealousies, resentments, competitiveness or other emotional friction. Think of that great old pop psychology book, Games People Play, by Eric Berne, and avoid the reasonable, mature, cheery adult-adult interaction in favor of the tenser “parent-child” combinations, like having one sibling or friend give the other unwanted advice, all in the guise of “helping.”
~ Include some sexual or romantic tension to spice things up.
For variety or to further the plot, consider ad
ding in some romantic or sexual tension between the protagonist and another important character. Create social or work barriers to the relationship (think Romeo and Juliette) or use obstacles, circumstances, attitudes, or distance to keep them apart when they may be fighting it, but they’re obviously drawn together.
~ All dialogue needs tension, too.
As Ingermanson and Economy say, “Dialogue is war! Every dialogue should be a controlled conflict between at least two of the characters with opposing agendas. The main purpose of dialogue is to advance the conflict of the story.” So definitely leave out the “How are you? I’m fine. And you?” yadda, yadda, and cut to the chase. Unless of course you’re trying to show seething resentment or subtle tension boiling up from under surface politeness. In that case, show that undercurrent of tension. We should see the POV character’s doubt or disbelief or disagreement with what the other person is saying, whether it’s overtly expressed or not. Show the power struggles, the ego and personality clashes, the main character’s anger or disdain or inner conflict, either overtly or subtly.
~ Throw in some pressures and time constraints.
Maybe your heroine is late for work or an important appointment, date, or interview. Get the old clock – or bomb – ticking. A car drives up as your hero is searching a house for clues. Or maybe the kidnappers’ deadline is fast approaching.
~ Plan some kind of change, reversal, or surprise for every scene.
The character’s plans, opinions or feelings change; circumstances change; the outcome takes an unexpected turn.
~ Throw in some hyper-suspense.
According to James Scott Bell, “Hyper-suspense happens when the character does not know what the forces are that oppose him – and neither does the reader.” This works especially well with first-person narration, or limited third-person, where readers don’t get into the head of the antagonist. In fact, we don’t know anything the protagonist doesn’t know. We’re creeping along with him, looking around, trying to figure out what’s happening at every turn.
~ Add obstacles and complications.
The hero’s plans get thwarted; his gun jams or falls into a river during a scuffle; he’s stuck in traffic on a bridge; her car breaks down; he’s kicked off the case; her cell phone battery dies just when she needs it most; the power goes out, leaving the room in total darkness; a truck blocks the only way out of the alley – you get the picture. Think Jack Reacher, Lucy Kincaid, Elvis Cole, Eve Dallas, Joe Pike, Maggie O’Dell, Harry Bosch, or Stephanie Plum in any number of escapades. The character has to find inner resources to discover a way around each new obstacle or out of each new dilemma.
~ Create critical turning points or dilemmas as you go along.
Which way did the bad guys go? Should she open that door or not? Who to believe? Go up the stairs or down? Turn right or left? Answer the phone or let it ring?
~ Incapacitate your hero.
Your heroine is given a drug that makes her dizzy and hallucinating; your hero breaks his leg and can’t escape or give chase; she’s bound and gagged; he’s blinded by sand in his eyes…
~ Show your protagonist’s anxiety, inner fears, and insecurities.
Also, show rapidly changing emotions – vague unease turns to fear, which escalates to terror.
~ Vary the level of tension – write in highs and lows.
Of course, it’s not necessary or even desirable to show nonstop edge-of-your-seat high-tension conflict – that would wear your readers out. But, as mentioned earlier, even in scenes that are relatively quiet, show the inner tension of your main character – worry, fear, anger, confusion – and dissonance with others.
As James Scott Bell says, “You want to have some sort of tension in every scene, though it doesn’t have to be of the highest sort. That would wear out the reader. [...] ...give your readers some breathing room, too. But when they breathe, let it be with a tight chest.”
Conclusion
So, why do we need lots of tension and conflict in a page-turner?
~ Readers bond much more quickly to a character who is conflicted, worried, frustrated, or facing any kind of adversity.
~ Ongoing tension and conflict heighten and sustain readers’ involvement and keep them turning the pages.
~ High tension and conflict bring to the surface readers’ deepest anxieties. When, through the protagonist, they vicariously face them and defeat them, this creates feelings of belonging, relief, accomplishment, and satisfaction.
So if you want to write a novel that sells, remember Donald Maass’s words of wisdom:
“Tension on every page is a technique that keeps readers glued to a novel…. It is a key breakout skill.”
Resources:
James Scott Bell, Revision and Self-Editing
Jack M. Bickham, The 38 Most Common Fiction Writing Mistakes (And How to Avoid Them)
Donald Maass, Writing the Breakout Novel
Jessica Page Morrell, Thanks, But This Isn’t For Us
Back to TOC
Chapter 10
WRITE RIVETING SCENES AND CHAPTERS
Do you have a scene in your novel where nothing much really happens, where your protagonist isn’t in trouble, or at least challenged? Where there’s not a lot of tension and no major developments or setbacks? If so, rewrite that scene or take it out, with any essential bits from it inserted somewhere else. If you leave it as is, that could well be the scene where your readers decide the story is lagging, and they put it down – and don’t pick it up again.
There’s no place for “filler” in a page-turning thriller. Today’s readers are much more impatient than readers of the past, much less willing to slog on through boring parts to see if things improve. Every scene needs to grab them with lots of tension and intrigue. Anything significant needs to be “shown,” not “told” (see Chapter 12, “Show, Don’t Tell”), and the events and dialogue of every scene need to move the plot along and result in a significant change in the characters and their situation.
EVERY SCENE NEEDS TENSION AND A CHANGE
Every scene needs tension.
As James Scott Bell says, “Every scene in your novel should have tension, whether that comes from outright conflict or the inner turmoil of character emotions.” How do you create that needed conflict? According to Bell, “You create outer tension by giving the POV character a scene objective. What does he want, and why? It has to matter to him, or it won’t to us.”
Then decide what kinds of obstacles should keep your protagonist from reaching his goal. It could be another character (or several) with an opposing agenda, or a difficult circumstance, or both.
Finally, to continue the tension flowing into the next scene, and to keep the reader worried and reading, it’s best to make most scenes come out with the character suffering a setback.
Of course, not every scene is going to have a fight or a screaming match. But even in quieter scenes, it’s important to show the inner tension of your viewpoint character – worry, concern, irritability, anxiety, doubt, indecision. Also show the tension of other characters by their words, actions, tone of voice, facial expressions and body language.
Each scene needs significant change.
As Hallie Ephron says, “In the course of each scene, some change should occur to move your story forward. It’s not enough for a scene to just introduce a character or convey lots of fascinating information about the setting. In every scene, something has to change. This means that something has to happen that changes the situation, or a character’s perception of it, and that change propels the story forward.”
The change that occurs in a scene can be a shift in a character’s emotional state, their relationship with others, or their situation – usually for the worst. And the change needs to result in character growth or plot change.
Write tight, compelling scenes. Start late and end early.
Besides making sure every scene has conflict and change, and events are “shown,” not described or “told,” anot
her tip for keeping your readers turning the pages is to start each scene as late as possible. In other words, don’t spend a lot of time with description and scene setup – start just as things are getting rolling.
However, it’s important to remember that even though you want to start late, don’t forget to orient the reader at the start of each scene by establishing right away who the viewpoint character is for the scene and when and where the action is taking place. This brief setting of the scene should happen within the first sentence or two, to avoid reader confusion and frustration.
Secondly, end each scene and chapter as early as possible. Don’t let scenes dribble off – instead, end each scene on a powerful note that propels the readers forward with a new story question for the next scene or chapter. Resist the urge to say the same thing in several ways or to add more minor details. And don’t resolve everything at the end of the scene – leave readers hanging most of the time, with your protagonist still struggling.
A blueprint for writing strong scenes:
Jack M. Bickham gives us some specific advice for writing powerful scenes. According to him, any time you start to write a scene, you should go through the following process (reworded slightly for brevity, and my italics):
1. Decide specifically what the main character’s immediate goal is.
2. Get this written down clearly in the copy.
3. On a separate note to yourself, write down, clearly and briefly, what the scene question is. Word it so it can be answered by “yes” or “no.”
4. In your story, after the goal has been shown, bring in another character who now states, just as clearly, his opposition.
5. Plan all the maneuvers and steps in the conflict between the two characters you have set up.
6. Write the scene moment-by-moment; no summary.
7. Devise a disastrous ending of the scene – a turning of the tables or surprise that answers the scene question badly.” [ends badly for the protagonist]