Writing a Killer Thriller

by Jodie Renner

  ~ Keep exclamation points and semicolons to a bare minimum.

  For a lot more detail, with examples, of cutting the clutter and streamlining your writing to increase the power and impact of your words, see my book Fire up Your Fiction (formerly titled Style That Sizzles & Pacing for Power).

  Let’s finish off this chapter with some writing guidelines from an expert in the field.

  Elmore Leonard’s 10 Rules for Writing Fiction

  Excerpted from Leonard’s article on writing, published July 16, 2001, in the New York Times and available in full here online.

  Leonard is the author of gritty westerns, crime novels and thrillers. Among his best-known works are Get Shorty, Out of Sight, Freaky Deaky, Hombre, Mr. Majestyk, and Rum Punch, which was filmed as Jackie Brown. Leonard’s short stories include ones that became the films 3:10 to Yuma and The Tall T, as well as a current TV series on FX, Justified.

  (I’ve condensed Leonard’s explanations under each rule, for the sake of brevity.)

  WRITERS ON WRITING; Easy on the Adverbs, Exclamation Points and Especially Hooptedoodle

  by Elmore Leonard

  These are rules I’ve picked up along the way to help me remain invisible when I’m writing a book, to help me show rather than tell what's taking place in the story. If you have a facility for language and imagery and the sound of your voice pleases you, invisibility is not what you are after, and you can skip the rules. Still, you might look them over.

  1. Never open a book with weather.

  If it’s only to create atmosphere, and not a character’s reaction to the weather, you don’t want to go on too long. The reader is apt to leaf ahead looking for people.

  2. Avoid prologues.

  They can be annoying, especially a prologue following an introduction that comes after a foreword. ... A prologue in a novel is backstory, and you can drop it in anywhere you want.

  3. Never use a verb other than “said” to carry dialogue.

  The line of dialogue belongs to the character; the verb is the writer sticking his nose in. But said is far less intrusive than grumbled, gasped, cautioned, lied.

  4. Never use an adverb to modify the verb “said”...

  ...he admonished gravely. To use an adverb this way (or almost any way) is a mortal sin. The writer is now exposing himself in earnest, using a word that distracts and can interrupt the rhythm of the exchange.

  5. Keep your exclamation points under control.

  6. Never use the words “suddenly” or “all hell broke loose.”

  ... I have noticed that writers who use “suddenly” tend to exercise less control in the application of exclamation points.

  7. Use regional dialect, patois, sparingly.

  Once you start spelling words in dialogue phonetically and loading the page with apostrophes, you won’t be able to stop.

  8. Avoid detailed descriptions of characters.

  9. Don’t go into great detail describing places and things.

  ...even if you’re good at it, you don’t want descriptions that bring the action, the flow of the story, to a standstill.

  And finally:

  10. Try to leave out the parts that readers tend to skip.

  Think of what you skip reading a novel: thick paragraphs of prose you can see have too many words in them. ... I’ll bet you don’t skip dialogue.

  My most important rule is one that sums up the 10.

  If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it.

  Or, if proper usage gets in the way, it may have to go. I can't allow what we learned in English composition to disrupt the sound and rhythm of the narrative. It’s my attempt to remain invisible, not distract the reader from the story with obvious writing. (Joseph Conrad said something about words getting in the way of what you want to say.)

  If I write in scenes and always from the point of view of a particular character – the one whose view best brings the scene to life – I’m able to concentrate on the voices of the characters telling you who they are and how they feel about what they see and what’s going on, and I’m nowhere in sight.

  For the full article, click here.

  Resources:

  Jodie’s editing

  New York Times article

  Back to TOC

  PART VIII

  WRAP-UP & CHECKLISTS

  Chapter 22

  Wrap-Up: ESSENTIAL ELEMENTS OF A BESTSELLING THRILLER

  If you want your thriller or other suspense fiction to be a riveting page-turner, make sure you’ve included most or all of these elements:

  ~ A compelling opening

  Don’t rev your engines with a lengthy description of the setting or background on the character’s life. Jump right in with your protagonist in a tension-filled scene with someone important in his world.

  ~ Deep POV

  Start your story in the head of your main character, in close third-person viewpoint, or first-person. Deep point of view is the most intimate and compelling, and engages the reader fast.

  ~ A protagonist who’s both ordinary and heroic

  Rather than having a “Superman,” invincible-type hero, it’s usually more satisfying to the readers if you use a regular person who’s thrown into stressful, then increasingly harrowing situations, who must summon all of his courage, strength and inner resources to overcome the odds, save himself and other innocent people, and defeat evil. Readers relate more personally to this type of main character and bond with him better.

  ~ A likeable, sympathetic protagonist

  The readers need to be able to warm up to your main character quickly, to start identifying with her; otherwise they won’t really care what happens to her. So no cold, selfish, arrogant characters for heroes or heroines!

  ~ A worthy adversary for the protagonist

  Your antagonist/villain needs to be as clever, strong, resourceful and determined as your protagonist, but also truly nasty, immoral, and frightening.

  ~ An interesting setting

  Readers like to find out about places they haven’t been, whether it’s the seedy side of Chicago, glitzy Hollywood, rural Kentucky, the mountains of Colorado, or the bayous of Louisiana – or more distant, exotic locations. And milk your setting for all it’s worth. Also, show the setting through the senses and reactions of your viewpoint character.

  ~ An inciting incident

  What happens to the main character to set the story events in action? Make it tense and compelling, something he can’t turn away from.

  ~ Internal struggling of the protagonist

  Give her a moral dilemma; show his inner conflict. Make them complex and fascinating; never perfect, complacent, or overly confident.

  ~ A crucible

  According to Steve Berry, the essential crucible is “that thing that gets a character to do what they normally will never do.” It’s a set of circumstances the protagonist can’t escape from, so he has to go forward, through it. Also called the cauldron.

  ~ A riveting plot, with ongoing conflict and tension

  You need a big story question and plenty of intrigue. And every scene should contain tension and conflict of some kind. If it doesn’t, revise it or delete it.

  ~ Lots of suspense and intrigue

  Keep the readers on the edge of their seats, turning the pages to find out what’s going to happen next.

  ~ Multiple viewpoints

  Narrating the story from various points of view, including that of the villain, will add interest, complexity and suspense to your novel. But most of the story should be in your protagonist’s POV, and don’t head-hop within a scene! Wait for a new scene or chapter to change viewpoints.

  ~ A tight, fast-paced writing style

  Streamline your writing to improve flow and pacing. Go through and take out all unnecessary words, sentences, and paragraphs, and any repetitive phrases, events or ideas. Thrillers are not the genre to wax eloquent or show off your erudition. See my book Fire up Your Fiction for more on this.

  ~ Emotions an
d reactions

  Engage the readers more and bring your characters to life on the page by showing their fear, trepidation, panic, pain, worry, anger, determination, courage, satisfaction, relief, joy, despair, elation, and other emotions.

  ~ Vivid sensory descriptions

  Put the reader right there in the scene by using all five senses wherever possible. Show what the character is hearing, smelling, feeling, touching and tasting, not only what they’re seeing.

  ~ Increasing danger

  Keep raising the stakes and putting your hero in deeper and deeper trouble to stretch his courage, determination, physical abilities, and inner resources to the maximum – and increase the reader’s admiration and emotional investment in him!

  ~ A ticking clock

  Your hero is racing against time to defeat the villain before innocents are killed – or even the region, country, or whole world is imperiled. Adding ever-increasing time constraints increases the tension and suspense.

  ~ Troubles that hit home

  Endanger the protagonist or someone close to her to add a personal dimension and more stress to the threats and conflicts.

  ~ Critical turning points

  Present your hero with life-or-death decisions and show his anxiety, tension, and indecision.

  ~ Obstacles in the way

  Your heroine runs out of gas on a lonely road; your hero’s weapon falls into the river far below; he is wounded and can’t run; her cell phone battery is dead. Whatever can go wrong does, and more.

  ~ Enough clues

  Be fair. Use foreshadowing, and layer in clues and info as you go along to slowly reveal the plot points and character backstory and motivation to the reader.

  ~ Twists and surprises

  Write in a few unexpected plot twists, but make sure that, in retrospect, they make sense to the readers.

  ~ A compelling climax

  Put the protagonist at a disadvantage in the final conflict with the antagonist to heighten the stakes. Pile on the adversity the hero has to overcome at the end.

  ~ A surprising but satisfying ending

  Leave the unhappy or unresolved endings for literary fiction. Let the good guy overcome the bad guy – by a hair.

  ~ Psychological growth and change in the hero/heroine

  Adversity has made him or her stronger, braver, wiser—a better person.

  Back to TOC

  Chapter 23

  CHECKLIST FOR RATCHETING UP THE TENSION AND SUSPENSE

  Finally, let’s wrap up with a handy checklist.

  I think you’re convinced now that thrillers and other fast-paced popular fiction need lots of tension, suspense, and intrigue. But so does any other compelling story that’ll create a buzz and take off in sales. No matter what genre you write, it’s all about hooking your readers in, engaging them emotionally, and ensuring they keep eagerly turning the pages.

  Here’s a great list of essentials for ratcheting up the tension and suspense of your novel or short story. Use as many of these elements and devices as possible to increase the “wow” factor of your fiction.

  Plan and set up a riveting story:

  __ Give readers a sympathetic, charismatic, but flawed protagonist they’ll identify with and start worrying about.

  __ Create a nasty, cunning, believable villain (or other antagonist) to instill fear and anxiety.

  __ Devise a significant, meaningful story problem, a serious dilemma for your hero, preferably a threat with far-reaching consequences.

  __ Make it personal to your protagonist. She and/or her loved ones are personally threatened.

  Bring your protagonist and story to life on the page.

  __ Use close point of view (deep POV) and stay in the head of your protagonist most of the time, for maximum reader engagement.

  __ Show your main character’s reactions to people and events around him.

  __ Evoke all five senses – what is she seeing, hearing, smelling, touching, and tasting?

  __ Show his inner fears, anxieties, anger, and frustrations.

  __ Use occasional brief flashbacks in real time to reveal her secrets and fears, deepen characterization, and strengthen reader involvement.

  __ Use alternating viewpoints – put us in the head of your protagonist and antagonist (or, in a romantic suspense, the female and male leads).Give them each their own scenes or chapters, so readers find out what the antagonist is thinking and planning, too. But stay mostly in your protagonist’s POV to keep us bonded with her.

  Pile on the problems:

  __ Keep raising the stakes for your protagonist. Just as he solves one problem, he’s confronted with an even worse obstacle or dilemma.

  __ Hamper your hero or heroine at every turn – the gun is jammed or falls into the river, the door is locked, the cell phone battery is dead, the car runs out of gas, there’s a roadblock ahead ...

  __ Give her tough choices and moral dilemmas. The right decision is the most difficult one; the morally wrong choice is the easy way out.

  Set the tone with style, mood, and pacing:

  __ Show, don’t tell. Don’t intrude as the author, and minimize explanations and backstory.

  __ Write tight. Make every word count.

  __ Vary your sentence structure to suit the situation and mood.

  __ Use distinctive, vivid verbs and nouns rather than overused, generic ones like “walked” or “ran.”

  __ Use strong imagery and just the right word choices to set the mood.

  __ Vary the pacing and tension level. Nonstop action can be exhausting.

  Pay attention to chapter and scene structure:

  __ Don’t spend a lot of time on lead-up or wind-down. Start chapters late and end them early.

  __ Make sure every scene has some conflict and a change.

  __ Use cliffhangers frequently at the end of chapters – but not always.

  __ Employ some jump cuts – end a chapter suddenly, without resolving the issue, then start the next chapter with different characters in a different scene.

  __ Show all critical scenes in real time, with tension, action, reactions, and dialogue.

  __ Skip past or quickly summarize transitions and unimportant scenes.

  Experiment with these devices to increase suspense and intrigue:

  __ Sprinkle in some foreshadowing – drop subtle hints and innuendos about critical plot points or events.

  __ Withhold information – use delay tactics, interruptions at critical points.

  __ Stretch out critical scenes – milk them for all they’re worth.

  Surprise or shock your readers:

  __ Add in a few unexpected twists. Put a big one in the middle and another big one at the end.

  __ Use surprise revelations from time to time – reveal character secrets and other critical information the reader has been dying to know.

  __ Have your main character experience at least one epiphany – a sudden significant realization that changes everything for them. Try putting one in the middle and one near the end.

  __ Write in some reversals of feelings, attitudes, expectations, and outcomes.

  Keep adding more tension. Increase the troubles of your protagonist by using these plot devices:

  __ Ticking clocks – every second counts.

  __ Obstacles, hindrances – keep challenging your hero or heroine.

  __ Chases – your protagonist is chasing or being chased.

  __ Threats or hints of more danger ahead.

  __ Traps and restrictions – your character becomes somehow trapped and must use all their resources to get out of the situation.

  Create a memorable, satisfying ending.

  __ Design a big showdown scene, an extremely close battle between the hero/heroine and the villain.

  __ Write in a surprise twist at the end.

  __ Leave your readers satisfied – the hero wins by a hair, the main story question/conflict is resolved.

  Back to TOC

  Do you have a moment
to leave a quick review? If you have found this book helpful in planning, writing, or revising your first or any subsequent thriller or other fast-paced fiction, I’d love it if you could leave a review on Amazon under the title of this book. Thanks a lot!

  – Jodie Renner

  PART VIII

  OTHER RELATED INFO

  GLOSSARY OF FICTION TERMS

  Average lengths of literary works:

  These are rough guidelines, and there is often a bit of overlap. Individual publishers’ word-count guidelines may vary.

  ~ Flash fiction: A story that is less than 500 words long.

  ~ Short short story: A story that is roughly between 500 and 1000 words long.

  ~ Short story: A story that’s usually between 1,000 and 7,500 words long.

  ~ Novelette: A story roughly between 7500 and 17,500 words long. (Some consider the term novelette to be outdated.)

  ~ Novella: Fiction that falls between a short story and a novel; usually between 17,500 and 50,000 words long.

  ~ Novel: Fiction that is about 50,000 or more words long.

  Definitions of some of the many common terms used to describe fiction writing:

  Antagonist: The main character or force in fiction that tries to stop the protagonist (the hero or heroine of the story) from achieving his/her goal.

  Antihero: A protagonist who has no (or few) heroic virtues or qualities (such as being morally good, idealistic, courageous, noble), blurring the line between hero and villain. Often go through a character arc to become more heroic by the end of the story. An antihero is a protagonist who has the opposite of most of the traditional attributes of a hero. (S)he may be amoral, bitter, rebellious, bewildered, ineffectual, deluded, or even apathetic.

  Archetypes: Certain character traits that appear in many stories, like the alpha male or the virginal heroine.

  Backstory: The events of character’s life up to the point of the first page of the story; the character’s past.

  Cauldron: When the hero is stuck in the thick of things. He can’t escape or turn back so he must go forward and try to defeat the adversary.