"I'm looking for Rebecca Chambers," the driver said, waving a piece of paper. "I got a delivery here."
"What is it?"
He peered at the sheet. "A playground set with extra swings."
"Let me guess. It was purchased by Austin Lucas."
"Yup. Where do you want it?"
Before she could answer, the children broke into cheers.
One of her assistants, Mary, came out of the house to see what was going on. Rebecca explained about the equipment and asked her to show the men to the side yard. She watched the children lead the way.
Why was he doing this? He, who claimed to have no feelings about anyone, who had told her more than once he was a complete bastard, had bought playground equipment for the children. What was going on?
She took one last look at the kids, but they were too busy to notice her. Mary would keep an eye on them, she told herself, turning on her heel and heading through the trees.
Before she'd made it halfway through the grove she admitted she was using this as an excuse to see him. Before she'd made it out of the grove she'd admitted she didn't care if it was an excuse. She had to see him if only to have him yell at her. It didn't matter what happened when they were together. It had been less than a week since she'd seen him, and she missed him.
She shook her head as she marched past the garage and up the cement and brick pathway. If she was the swearing sort of person, she'd be saying something creative right now, but she wasn't. She balled her hands into fists and called herself a fool. At least that had a ring of truth.
At the door to the barn, she paused long enough to make sure her headband was in place and her dress smooth. Then she pulled open the outer door and stepped into the foyer. Before she could lose her courage, she grabbed hold of the door to the laboratory and yanked it open, then stepped inside
She wasn't sure what she'd expected. Perhaps loud screeches from metal machines and smoke circling on the floor. She knew he invented something to do with heat resistant substances but wasn't exactly sure what.
The long lab was surprisingly quiet. Computers hummed, as did the air-conditioning unit that kept the room a comfortable temperature. There were long tables against the walls, and shelves filled with equipment. The intimidating machines reminded her that Austin was both highly intelligent and incredibly rich. Obviously she was in over her head. What had she been thinking of, having a crush on him? He would never want someone like her in his life. He would want someone like him. A scientist maybe, or a doctor.
She looked around and wondered if she should just leave. It might be easier for both of them. Before she could duck outside, she heard a clunk, then footsteps. Austin came around one of the big computers. He wore jeans and a long sleeved white shirt rolled up to his elbows. As he walked toward her, he pulled goggles off his head. When he spotted her, he stopped and stared.
"Rebecca. What are you doing here?"
She'd tried to prepare a rational speech. At the sight of him, it fled her brain. She felt as stupid and incapable of intelligent conversation as she had when she'd stood dripping in his garage.
She opened her mouth to thank him for the playground equipment, but those weren't the words that came out.
"If you want me to stop thinking about you, about that night, then why are you being so nice?" she asked without taking a breath. "Just stop it. Did you have to give the kids your house? Did you have to send over furniture? And now this. Playground equipment. How am I supposed to resist that? How am I supposed to put you behind me and date someone else? You're messing up my life, here, Austin. I don't want to get involved with you. You certainly don't want to get involved with me. I know you don't want me or anything, so please, don't do this anymore. I can't take it."
She stopped talking and waited for him to yell at her. She couldn't believe what she'd said. Her only saving grace was that it was the truth.
"Damn it, Rebecca, you think I don't know that?"
She stared at him stunned. "Wh-what did you say?"
"Do you think I like this thing between us? I don't. I hate it." He tossed the protective goggles on the desk and moved closer to her. "I'll stop being nice if you'll stop haunting me."
"I don't—"
She never got to finish her sentence and tell him she didn't understand. He stopped directly in front of her and placed his hands on her shoulders, then hauled her hard against him. Even if she'd wanted to protest, she couldn't have. He tilted his head slightly and brought his mouth down to hers.
* * *
Chapter 7
« ^ »
Austin hoped Rebecca would bolt or slap him, anything to keep him from the madness that possessed him. She did neither. When he touched his lips to hers, she moaned softly and brought her hands up to his shoulders. Her slender body pressed against his.
She tasted as sweet as he remembered and she smelled of vanilla. When he brushed his mouth back and forth over hers, she parted for him, calling him into her. He told himself to back off, that she was more kinds of trouble than he could handle. He didn't know what it was about her that got to him. It could have been her innocence or that damn crush. He had a bad feeling that he was having one last fling with the world before shutting himself down completely. Who could say?
None of it made sense. Not her reaction to him, nor the way he couldn't stop thinking about her.
He slipped one hand under her hair behind her neck. She was warm and smooth to his touch. He threaded his fingers through her long, silken strands, wondering how they'd feel on his thighs, forming an erotic curtain as she took him in her mouth.
He groaned low in his throat at the thought, deepened the kiss and ground his hips against hers. She answered by pulling him closer still, gripping his shoulders and whimpering against his assault.
He knew it was a mistake, that he was playing with fire, but he didn't give a damn. He brought his other hand down from her throat to her breasts. He brushed across her slight curves, feeling the taut nipples through the layer of her clothes. She gasped at the contact. Her sundress had a long row of impossibly small buttons down the front. As he opened them one by one, he kissed the line of her jaw, then moved lower, planting more kisses down the side of her throat.
She held on to him as if she had no strength left. Her body trembled against his. When he'd unfastened the buttons down to her waist, he nudged her backward until she was against the desk. He shifted her so she sat on the raised surface. Only then did he look at her face.
Her flushed skin made her eyes look bigger. She met his gaze with an unfocused stare. Knowing he was ten kinds of fool and possibly the biggest slime ever to walk the earth, he took her headband off and tossed it behind her onto the desk. With one quick jerk, he pulled her dress down her arms. She wasn't wearing a bra.
He stepped back and looked at her. The long, flowing fabric was soft and romantic. Her hair fanned over her shoulders, partially concealing her naked breasts. She was the picture of seductive innocence and he wanted to take her right there, plunging deep inside over and over again until they were both shaken and exhausted.
She read his mind. Slowly her eyes focused on his face. Her gaze dropped lower, stopping at the obvious proof of his desire. Her welcoming smile ate away at his fading self-control
"Yes," she whispered, tossing her hair back over her shoulders and baring herself to him.
"Damn you, woman," he growled, then swooped down on her.
He kissed her neck, her ears, her eyelids. He plunged his hands into her hair, holding her immobile. When he kissed her, he was violent, searching her mouth, biting her lips. He whispered exactly what he wanted to do to her, what he wanted her to do to him, in the most graphic of terms. As he licked her ears, he explained exactly how he would feel in her mouth, and then what she would feel when he did that to her. Even as his body got harder, aching with the need to take her, he waited for his actions and words to scare her off. He monitored her gasps of pleasure and surprise and waited for her to push
him away in disgust.
She didn't. When he bent over to take one of her hardened nipples in his mouth, she breathed his name and pulled his head closer. When that wasn't enough, she parted her legs and pressed her damp center against him. His half formed plan had backfired. She wasn't afraid of him – he was turning her on. Austin cupped her breasts in his hands and buried his face in her hair. He hadn't planned on making love with her on his desk, but why not? It wasn't as if she was still a virgin.
But she had been. They hadn't used birth control and he didn't have anything with him now. It was unlikely she did, either. She might already be pregnant with his child. What the hell was he thinking of?
He tore himself away from her and walked over to a workbench by the front door. He leaned against it, not wanting to look at her, not able to look away. She stared at him, obviously as stunned by the passion between them as he had been. She touched her fingers to her swollen mouth. "Austin?"
The air-conditioning clicked off, leaving only the hum of the computers. In the quiet of the large room, their breathing was audible. He tried to tune out the sound, along with the faint echo of his name. He did his best to ignore the pressure of his erection and the heat boiling his blood.
"How do you do that?" she asked, her voice quiet in the stillness. "You make every part of me tingle as if I've never really been alive before."
"Stop," he commanded. "Stop before you say something you'll regret."
She surprised him by smiling. "I have no regrets. Not about you, about what we did last week, or even about this." She waved her hand in front of her body, then glanced down. Her dress pooled at her waist, the short sleeves hung on her forearms. She was bare to his gaze, but didn't seem embarrassed. Casually she pulled up her dress and began to fasten the buttons. Her smile deepened. "Okay, I'll admit to one regret. That you stopped."
He pushed off the workbench and stalked toward her. "Don't play with me, Rebecca. You don't have the armor to survive in this league. If you don't watch your step, you're going to find yourself falling hard and getting hurt. I'm not interested in your gentle dreams of children and white picket fences. If you get in my way I'll take what you're offering, and when I'm done I'll walk away without looking back."
She finished fastening her buttons, then searched behind her for her headband. After securing it, she looked up at him. "Are you trying to convince me or yourself?"
He took two steps and closed the gap between them. Leaning forward, he gripped her shoulders. There was nothing passionate or gentle about his touch. He squeezed harder, not caring that he might mark her.
"Grow up," he growled. "Look around you. I'm not salvageable. Find someone else, someone like you. Someone who hasn't seen this world in all its ugliness. Someone who can still believe in happy endings."
Her brown eyes burned with conviction. "You believe. You just don't want to admit it." He knew he had to be hurting her, but she didn't flinch or try to pull away. "I'm not afraid of you, Austin Lucas. I know the truth."
"Bull. I told you I was placed in the Glenwood home when I was thirteen, but I didn't tell you when I left, did I?"
She shook her head. "I stole a car when I was fifteen. The police caught me ten miles the other side of the Oregon boarder. I served my time in a juvenile facility until I was eighteen and they cut me loose."
"So? A lot of people make mistakes when they're kids. It doesn't mean anything."
He let her go and stepped back. Not because he was pleased with what she'd said, but because his level of frustration had increased his temper to a point where she was in danger. "Listen to me," he said, his voice low and controlled. "Listen to what I'm telling you. I'm not a nice guy. There's no profit in being nice. I want to live my life by my rules. I've never been married because I don't see the point. I've had women in my life. Lots of women, but no serious relationship. Ever. Because I don't want one. I'm not interested in having one with anyone, including you. The sex was great, I'll admit that. But that's all it was – sex. Go home. Find yourself someone who wants to get married and have babies. Stop trying to fix me. "
Rebecca stared at him without saying anything. Her big brown eyes searched his face as if he held the answers to her questions. He wanted to tell her he wasn't good for anything, but he doubted it would matter. Maybe he'd convinced her and maybe he hadn't. Either way, he wanted her gone from his lab, his property and his life. He wouldn't make her leave the house; he'd already given his word that the children could stay there. But he was going to make damn sure that they stopped running into each other. Every time he saw her he thought about their night together. Worse, he wanted to repeat it. Even knowing she was innocent and he was the wrong man to get involved with someone like her. Even knowing she had the power to rip him apart and leave him bleeding. Even knowing she might be the only one brave enough or stupid enough to keep trying to get inside. He wouldn't risk it. He'd learned that lesson too well.
She lowered her gaze, then nodded as if coming to a decision. "All right," she said, her voice steady. "I understand what you're saying. Just answer me one question. Why did you buy the playground set for the children?"
He was glad she wasn't looking at him just then. It made it easier to lie.
The truth would only hurt his case. Buying the playground equipment had been an impulse when he'd driven to Stockton a couple of days ago. He'd seen it from across the street and had made time to go into the store. The sturdy jungle gym had reminded him of the fun he'd had with Travis and his brothers all those years ago. He'd bought it because those memories were among his best, and because the equipment had made him remember how having friends in his life had made everything easier. But that was only part of the reason. He'd bought the equipment because little David had missed playing on the swings.
Without trying to he could see the pain in the young boy's eyes. The pain of loss and abandonment. He'd once felt like that, when his mother had dumped him on some unknown relative's doorstep. He'd stood on the porch and watched her drive away. At seven he'd been confused, half hoping she would come back and get him, half praying he would never have to see her again. He'd loved and hated his mother with equal intensity. Until he'd grown up enough only to hate.
He didn't want that for David. He wasn't willing to get involved with the kid, but swings were no big deal. No child should have to survive without knowing some kind gesture.
But the lie was cleaner. He shoved his hands into his jeans pockets. "I needed the tax deduction."
Rebecca raised her head. "You expect me to believe that? You could have simply written a check. It would have required a lot less effort."
"If you don't like my answer, maybe I should just take it back."
"Tough talk. I don't buy it."
He shrugged. "Believe what you want."
She slid off the table onto the floor and brushed at the front of her skirt. "I can't win with you. You're always trying to make our conversations about something else. I'd hoped we could at least be friends, but you obviously don't want that. And I know I'm not enough like your other women to entice you to, well…" Her voice trailed off as a faint blush stained her cheeks. She started toward the door.
"Wait." He grabbed her arm as she walked past him. Her skin was warm to the touch. Instantly his body reacted to her closeness. He dropped her arm and tried to ignore the pressure in his groin. "You just invited me into your bed."
"I…" She swallowed, then raised her chin slightly. "I wasn't going to ask you for any kind of commitment. I just thought that since you were between women, and we'd already done that and it was very nice, that we might, you know." She managed to get out her entire speech without looking away from him.
She was offering him exactly what he wanted. Hot sex, no ties. Yeah, right. He studied her face. The wide eyes, the full mouth, trembling slightly at the corners. Long curly hair, tumbled over her shoulders. The warm weather and her time in the sun had turned her pale skin the faint color of honey.
She stood b
efore him, a virtual innocent. She'd saved herself for twenty-nine years and now she wanted to be his mistress.
"Why?" he asked.
She cleared her throat. "I could use the experience."
Terrific. She wanted a tutor. The hell of it was he wanted to say yes. "Explain one thing to me. If you were so in love with Wayne, why were you still a virgin when he died?"
"I made a mistake," she said softly. Clasping her hands together in front of her, she stared off into the distance. "I convinced him to wait. I thought coming to him a virgin on our wedding night would really be special. A magical moment. Something wonderfully traditional in a world over whelmed by change." She looked up at him and smiled sadly. "It probably sounds stupid to you."
"Actually it doesn't."
"You don't have to humor me, Austin. I know the truth now. Wayne never pressured me, but I knew what he was j thinking. I guess every guy would think the same thing. We did other things, but never that. I was proud of myself, thrilled about my precious gift." Bitterness tainted her words, sharpening her tone. She swayed slightly and he thought about moving closer and offering comfort. He didn't. Even if she wanted him to hold her, he would only hurt her in the end. He shoved his hands deeper into his pockets and curled his fingers into his palms.
"Wayne was hit by a car while he was out jogging," she said. "He was paralyzed from the waist down. It was about three months before the wedding. I still wanted to get married, but he wouldn't. He told me he wouldn't saddle me with someone who was less than a man."
"He couldn't…?"
She shook her head, then dropped her chin to her chest.
"He died hating me for that. I told him it didn't matter to me, but I could see the truth in his eyes. Every day he saw me, I was a reminder of all he'd lost. But I was too much of a coward to let him go. I was there, with him, every day until he died. It took almost a year. They said complications, but I think he lost the will to live."
Austin exhaled a breath slowly. That night when he'd first realized what he'd done to Rebecca, he'd been shocked and unsettled. He'd never been with a virgin. He'd told himself it didn't make any difference. He hadn't believed it then and he didn't believe it now. Maybe it was cultural or part of a man's genetic makeup, but bedding her had been different from bedding all the other women he'd known.
Marriage On Demand Page 10
