Before the doubts could overwhelm her again, the door to the bride's room opened. She looked up, expecting to see the minister's wife telling her it was time. Instead, Elizabeth stepped inside. "Rebecca? Mrs. Johnson said you were in here. I got your note. What's going on?" Elizabeth blinked several times. The room was dimly lighted, compared to the bright sunshine of the June afternoon. She stared at her friend. As her eyes adjusted, she drew in a sharp breath. "Oh, my God. You're getting married!"
Rebecca rose to her feet and crossed the room. "Don't be angry," she said, touching Elizabeth's arm. "I really need your help. I'm not sure I can make it through on my own."
Elizabeth studied the flowers in her hair, then dropped her gaze to the lace dress. "Oh, my God. You're getting married."
Rebecca smiled. "You just said that."
"I can't believe it. When you called last week and asked Travis and I to be here, you mentioned a committee meeting. When you said to dress up because we were going out to dinner afterward, I never suspected this. I'm supposed to be your closest friend. I think I should be upset you never let on."
"Don't be." Rebecca led her over to a small love seat opposite the vanity. When they were sitting next to each other, she rested her hands on her knees and stared at the ground. "I was afraid to tell you. I didn't want anyone to know. But I couldn't go through this alone. For what it's worth, Austin wanted to let you both know right away. It was my idea to keep it a secret."
"You're marrying Austin Lucas?"
Rebecca raised her head and looked at her friend. "Am I making a mistake?"
"Maybe. This is all so sudden. Less than a month ago you were upset because you'd spent the night with him. Now you're—" Elizabeth gasped. "You're pregnant."
Rebecca nodded.
"Oh, my. This is one for the record books." Elizabeth patted her own rounded belly. "Enjoy the view of your feet while you still have it. Married and pregnant, all within a month. Are you sure this is what you want?"
"Yes. No. Oh, I don't know. Is it?" Rebecca twisted her hands together. "I'm terrified about all of this. I'm marrying a man I don't know that well, whom I don't love. But I like him. I respect him. We both want the baby. I think he'll be a good father. I think he needs me in his life, although he'd rather eat glass than admit it. Is it enough? Am I making a mistake?"
"Oh, honey. You should have told me. You shouldn't have to go through this alone."
Elizabeth put her arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. Rebecca absorbed her friend's warmth and support. "I was afraid to."
"Why? After what happened to me with my first husband, I'm the last person in the world to judge anyone. You know that."
Rebecca swallowed hard. "I almost didn't tell you at all. I was afraid he wouldn't show up. I thought it was better to face that by myself. But then, I couldn't get married without you being here."
Elizabeth drew back. "You were afraid Austin would leave you at the altar? Just standing there alone? "
Rebecca nodded miserably.
"Then you really don't understand your husband-to-be at all, do you? I know Austin is difficult at times, and mysterious But he has a strong sense of honor. He's here. I saw him. He's a little pale under his tan, but he looks determined."
Rebecca let out a deep breath. "Thanks for telling me. I was panicked, wondering what I was going to do."
Elizabeth leaned forward and took both her friend's hands. She squeezed them and smiled. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to. Travis and I have half a dozen bedrooms that aren't being used. You're welcome to come live with us for as long as you want. We'd love to have you. Besides, you can see firsthand what you'll be getting into when you have your baby." She glances down and patted her belly. "Assuming I ever have mine. I feel like I've been pregnant for years."
Rebecca studied her friend's kind face. Elizabeth had an impish smile. Love of life and laughter radiated from her almond-shaped eyes. She wore her brown hair pulled back in a French braid. Her skin glowed. Even the awkward shape of her body couldn't detract from her loveliness. She'd always been pretty, but loving Travis had made her beautiful. The love she'd been afraid to risk again had been returned to her tenfold. Her generous offer, given from the heart, made Rebecca's eyes dampen.
She stared at their clasped hands. Elizabeth's diamond ring winked back at her. Her friend was married, with one child, another on the way and many responsibilities. Yet she'd made the time and room for Rebecca.
"Thank you for inviting me to stay with you," she said. She sniffed and tried to smile. "You're probably going to think I'm crazy, but I want to marry him. Part of it is because of the baby, but not all of it. I know I would have been fine on my own. But our child deserves to know both of us, don't you think? "
"I can't decide for you," Elizabeth said. "You have to do what feels right for you and the baby. Is this what you want? "
"Yes. It is. He is. Not just because I'm pregnant. I like him. I think he's nice, no matter that he tries to tell me otherwise."
"Could you love him?"
"Yes." Rebecca spoke without thinking. At first she wanted to call the words back, but in the end she didn't. "It's scary, but I think I could. I've been wondering about my crush on him. Do you think my heart was trying to tell me something for the past two years but I wasn't ready to listen?"
"It's possible. Stranger things have happened." Elizabeth squeezed her hands, then released her. "But be careful, okay? Austin is a loner. He's never gotten involved like this before. I don't want to see you hurt."
"I don't think I get a choice in the matter." Rebecca stood up and forced herself to smile. "How do I look?"
"Stunning. Where did you find that dress?"
"I went to a shop in Stockton. I hope Austin likes it."
There was a tap on the door. Mrs. Johnson, the minister's wife, stuck her head into the room. "We're about to start the wedding, dearie. Are you ready?"
Rebecca nodded.
"Give me a minute to get to the organ. When you hear the music, you can go ahead and start up the aisle."
"Wait," Rebecca called before the older woman could leave. She grabbed Elizabeth's hand and pulled her to her feet. She was glad she'd invited her friend to be with her. "I have a matron of honor." She looked up at Elizabeth. "If you wouldn't mind. I'd prefer not to stand up there by my own."
"You won't be by yourself, you silly. Austin will be there." Elizabeth glanced down at her blue dress. It was simple, with short sleeves and a draped front that flowed over her extended belly. "I'm not dressed for a wedding, but I wouldn't miss it for the world. Thank you for asking. I'm honored."
Rebecca stepped close and they hugged. She held on, absorbing her friend's strength and quiet confidence. Then she stepped back and smiled at Mrs. Johnson. "We're ready."
"Good. I'll play something pretty for your friend. Then, when she's reached the front, I'll start the wedding march. Good luck." The door closed quietly.
Elizabeth laughed. "I'm suddenly nervous. This is ridiculous."
Rebecca walked over to the table and picked up her bouquet. The scent of ivory roses and tiger lilies mingled with her perfume. She studied the arrangement, then pulled out one of the lilies.
"Here. Matrons of honor should have flowers."
Elizabeth took the blossom, then studied her. "Do you have everything? Something old and all that?"
"I'm missing the borrowed something. Do you have a tissue?"
"I can do better than that." Elizabeth unsnapped a gold bracelet from around her wrist. "Travis gave me this when I told him I was pregnant. It's a gift of love and promise. It'll bring you luck today." She slipped the bracelet on Rebecca's wrist and fastened it.
Outside the room, soft organ music began.
"I think that's my cue," Elizabeth said. "Are you all right?"
"I'm fine. See you at the altar."
Elizabeth gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Austin is going to be there. I promise. You'll be fine." She started out the
door, then turned back. "Believe in the love, Rebecca. It can work miracles."
When she was alone, Rebecca took one last look in the mirror. She stared at her reflection, hoping to find a hint as to whether or not she was making the right decision. She couldn't find any answers.
She studied her dress. The simple lines were so different from the beaded gown she'd ordered for her wedding with Wayne. Everything was different from the wedding she'd planned with Wayne. There was no church full of guests, no four tiered cake, no family, no honeymoon in Hawaii. She'd played it safe and lost all her dreams. Now she was making new plans. They were different, but they could be just as satisfying if she let them.
Elizabeth had asked if she could love Austin. Could she? She thought she might if she could get through to him. Seeing him with David had helped her believe love might be possible. She'd seen proof he was a warm, caring man. He kept that part of himself hidden. In time she would find out why. For now it was enough to know it existed.
The music changed, becoming the familiar chords of the wedding march. Rebecca clutched her flowers more tightly in her suddenly damp hands. She grabbed the ring box from the vanity, then walked to the door, opened it and stepped out into the hallway.
The music was louder here. She made her way to the back entrance of the church. Wide double doors stood open. The sound poured over her, making her want to cry. She was getting married, alone, in an empty church, away from her friends and family. She wanted to call everything off. She wanted to sit down and sob her heart out. Instead, she took the first step into the sanctuary.
She stared past the rows of empty pews, past the stained-glass windows that filtered the afternoon sunlight, past Mrs. Johnson sitting behind the massive organ off to one side. Her gaze swept across the altar and settled on four people standing at the front of the center aisle.
She recognized Elizabeth, who smiled encouragingly, and the minister, then Travis, as best man. Swallowing her fear, she allowed her gaze to settle on the man she would marry.
He was there. Relief made her weak, but she forced herself to keep walking. Slowly, step after step, moving closer.
Austin faced the rear of the church, looking at her steadily. Nothing in his face or cool gray eyes gave away what he was thinking. She didn't care. It was enough that he was there and waiting.
Halfway up the aisle she faltered. She made the fatal mistake of allowing her gaze to dip below his face. He wore a charcoal-gray suit. Her steps slowed. At that moment she realized she'd only ever seen him in jeans. There was so much about her husband she didn't know. What kind of man was he? How would he treat her? What did he dream about, wish for? Where were his scars? Would he ever trust her, care for her? Would they grow old together?
She stopped in the center of the aisle. The music swept around her, but she couldn't move. This was insane. What had she been thinking of? From the corner of her eye she saw Elizabeth take a step toward her. Austin didn't move. Their eyes locked.
He spoke her name. Oh, his lips didn't move and there wasn't any sound, but she heard him. He didn't force her to come toward him. Instead, he held back, giving her the choice. She knew he wanted her to choose him. She could feel his thoughts as if they were her own. Then he smiled and her doubts faded. She took a step, then another. Effortlessly she reached the end of the aisle. Austin never once took his gaze from her face. When she was next to him, he held out his hand, palm up. She gave Elizabeth her bouquet and the tiny box containing his ring, and placed her fingers on his. As one they turned toward the minister.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God and this company…"
The minister spoke the familiar words, but she scarcely heard them. Rebecca could think of nothing but the man beside her. The heat and scent of his body swept around her, circling her in a cocoon of safety. She darted a quick glance at him, taking in his appearance.
Under his suit jacket he wore an ivory shirt, the exact color of her dress. His conservative blue-and-gray tie reminded her of a banker, but then she glanced up and saw the minister frowning at Austin's earring. She wanted to giggle. She liked his earring because it made her think of pirates, stolen women and forbidden love. She liked it because it was a part of him.
"Do you, Austin Lucas, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
Austin repeated the vows slowly, carefully, as if each word was a promise. When it was her turn, her voice shook. Then she risked looking up at him.
"I do," she said.
He smiled. His smiles were rare jewels to be treasured. This one reached deep inside her, clear to her heart, and made her feel welcome. She smiled back. He squeezed her fingers and the last of her fears fled.
They were marrying because of a baby. Couples had been doing that since the dawn of time. Children were an affirmation of the future. A gift of joy. She looked at her soon-to-be husband and saw the questions in his eyes. He was wondering, too. They had much to learn about each other, but the discovery could be wonderful.
She sent up a prayer of thanks that she had made the right decision, that the feelings she had inside would blossom into love. She prayed that their child would be healthy and grow under their care.
Please, God, let me be enough to heal him, she thought. And let him want to love me back. "The ring, please, " the minister said.
Austin reached into his right jacket pocket and pulled out a ring. Rebecca stared at him with surprise. Of course he'd bought her a ring. She'd even bought him one. But she hadn't thought about it until this moment.
A thrill shot through her. What would it look like? What had he picked for her? She bit her lip as he brought the sparkling band to her hand, then slid it onto her finger. She froze, staring.
A circle of diamonds winked up at her. Pear-shaped stones nestled against each other, forming a pattern of brilliance. The ring was much heavier than the small quarter carat solitaire Wayne had bought her all those years ago. Much more expensive. Austin could have bought a luxury car with the money he'd spent on this ring.
He was rich. She'd forgotten about that. It shouldn't make a difference, but it did. She sent up a prayer that Austin would know she hadn't married him for his money. "It fits," he said, leaning forward and speaking softly in her ear.
"It's beautiful."
"I'm glad you like it."
She met his gaze and saw that he'd been nervous about her reaction. That tiny sign of insecurity made her relax again. She tilted her hand so the diamonds caught the light.
"I never imagined having anything this exquisite." The pride that flashed in his eyes told her she'd said the right thing. It was going to be all right, she told herself.
"Is there a ring for the groom?" Mr. Johnson asked.
"No," Austin said.
Rebecca blinked. "Oh. I bought you one. Don't you want it?"
The minister stared at them as if they were insane. "You didn't discuss this ahead of time?"
She shook her head. "It doesn't matter, Austin. I don't want you to be uncomfortable." She tried to keep the disappointment out of her voice. It had never occurred to her that he wouldn't want to wear a ring. Of course many men didn't, and he worked a lot in the lab. She supposed it would get in his way.
"I didn't think you'd bother," Austin said. "I'd like to wear your ring."
He nodded.
She took the box Elizabeth held and removed the gold band. She'd spent the better part of an afternoon picking out this ring. It had been the same day she'd gone to buy her dress. The plain gold bands had been too plain, but anything with a stone hadn't seemed like Austin. She'd finally found what she wanted in a small store tucked on a side street. The heavy gold was engraved with a pattern that gave it a look of elegance. She'd been able to picture it on Austin's hand.
Now, as she repeated the words and slid it onto his finger, she was glad she'd bought it. She'd guessed at the size, but it fit perfectly. She glanced up at him and smiled.
"Thank you," he said. His eyes darkened
with something she dared to identify as affection.
Her toes curled inside her satin pumps. They were going to make it. She knew that now. Her last prayer of the day was one of thanks.
* * *
Travis poured champagne into his glass. "I guess I don't have to tell you that this comes as a surprise."
"No," Austin agreed. "You don't."
He glanced around the private room he'd reserved in the back of the Country Inn restaurant. The minimum for parties was twelve, but he'd convinced the manager to make an exception. The order for several bottles of expensive imported champagne had helped. It was warm for June, but the dimly lighted room was cool. Lush ferns hung from the hooks in the barroom ceiling. The table had been set with fine china and crystal. Tasteful paintings graced the wall.
He hoped Rebecca was happy with the location. She'd been the one who'd wanted the dinner party. He'd offered to host something larger, with more of her friends, but she'd declined. Just as she'd declined his offer of a honeymoon. She'd said she couldn't be away from the children that long. To be honest, he was relieved. The last thing he needed was to spend time with her in a romantic location. It was going to be hard enough living together in the loft. At least there he'd been able to remodel the floor plan to make it more workable.
He looked up and realized Travis was staring at him patiently. "I'm sorry. What did you say? "
"I asked if you were going to tell me what was going on. I didn't even know you and Rebecca were dating."
As soon as the four of them had arrived, Rebecca and Elizabeth had ducked into the ladies' room. The two men were alone. Travis was the best friend Austin had ever had. Twenty-one years ago, Travis had stood up for Austin against his own brothers. A bond had been formed that day, one that had never been broken. There was a lot about Austin's life that Travis didn't know, but Austin had done his best not to lie.
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