Mountain Angel (Northstar Angels, Book One)

by Suzie O'Connell

  “Quit wasting time, Pat,” she said hoarsely.

  Obediently, he took her. He kept the pace slow for only a few moments. There was little gentleness in Aelissm’s silent demands, only raw, animal hunger and she urged him with her body. His thoughts scrambled until they were pushed into oblivion by his need. With her tight around him and pleading for everything he had, he had no hope of controlling himself. They raced toward the peak and soared over it, crying out simultaneously in mutual ecstacy.

  Still buried inside her, he arched up and gazed down at her. She reached up and touched his face with all the tenderness their joining had lacked. Her gorgeous green eyes were soft with it and the smile on her lips was the most beautiful thing in the world.

  “You’re trembling, my darling,” she murmured.

  She drew him down to her, cradling his head on her breasts. Lovingly, she stroked his face and ran her fingers back through his hair. He closed his eyes and took a deep, shuddering breath.

  “Aelissm…” he croaked.

  “Shh, my darling.”

  “I can’t stay away from you,” he whispered. “No matter how hard I try. Not even for our own good.”

  “I know, honey. I can’t either. I know this is dangerous and I know it’s going to hurt like hell down the road, but I can’t stop.” She laid her cheek on his head. “What if this is love, Pat? Not what we thought we had before. I mean real love.”

  He couldn’t find his voice to answer. If it was real love, they’d fight for it. He thought it might be the real thing, but part of him still struggled against it, the part of him that wanted to be a detective above all else. Only time would tell which side would win. The rate things were going with Aelissm, however, his job was going to lose.

  “Pat?”

  “Hmm?”

  “We should probably, uh, get organized here. We’ve got to be down at the Bedspread in a little over an hour.”

  “Damn. Remind me, why’d you schedule us to work tonight?”

  “Because everyone who didn’t have a class in town is helping the Hammonds with the first cut of hay.”

  “Ah. That’s right. I forgot. But you distract me.”

  She chuckled and kissed his forehead. “C’mon, Mr. O’Neil. Don’t make me lie and say you’re squishing me.”

  “Am I?”

  “A little, but I like it.”

  Reluctantly, he got up. He paused to admire Aelissm’s naked body, noting that her skin was still lightly damp. With a groan, he averted his attention, grabbed his towel and robe and made a beeline for the shower downstairs. Aelissm joined him and it was only by his steadfast refusal to further delay them that all they did was shower. He kept thinking about the choice he knew he was going to have to make soon. If this was what life with Aelissm was going to be like, he knew he’d regret leaving her.

  When she playfully stroked her hand from his neck to his navel, he grabbed her hand and laughed. “Now, now, Miss Davis, none of that. We’re already cutting it close. One more round and we’ll be late. So don’t start anything we don’t have time to finish.”

  She stuck her lip out in a fair imitation of a pouting child. “Fine.”

  He kissed her again, though, and she was satisfied with that. She got out of the shower, leaving him standing beneath the steaming fall of water. He braced his hands on the wall and counted backward from a hundred. Leaving Sara had been painful in a very different way and, looking back, it had been a simple decision to get out and save himself while there was still something left to be saved. Survival was always an easy choice. Choosing between one kind of fulfillment and another was a whole different can of worms. Pop the top and pros and cons shot out everywhere. No matter which way he went, there would be pain.

  Usually, he’d consult Bill on a matter like this, but he wasn’t sure what would bias Bill’s advice more, keeping Pat as a detective or gaining him as a nephew.

  “Dammit,” he muttered. “What have I gotten myself into this time?”

  He turned off the shower and got out. After he’d wrapped a towel around his waist, he walked through the door into the living room of Aelissm’s cabin. It struck him then, that it wasn’t actually her cabin. It belonged to her parents. Somehow, he couldn’t seem to convince himself about that. Maybe it was that he’d only ever known it as her cabin. Thoughtfully, he looked around, taking in the bright orange shag couches, the antique tables and the various objects Aeli and her family had collected over the years. Could he live here? Happily. It was effortless to picture himself waking up in the master bedroom every morning, checking on his kids as he passed through the smaller room on his way downstairs where he would find Aeli at the kitchen table reading National Geographic or the Smithsonian. And just as effortlessly, with that scenario in his mind, he could imagine himself calling Bill to tell him he wouldn’t be coming back to work.

  But I can’t make this kind of decision here. I can’t think straight around Aelissm. What if this is all just an amazing dream that ends when Winters is gone and there’s no reason why I have to stay here? Pat watched Aelissm come down the steep spiral stairs. Only one way to find out. I have to get Winters out of her life.

  * * *

  Aelissm paused in the kitchen to admire Pat’s delicious bare chest, wishing there was time to take him back upstairs. The frown of deep thought concerned her, and she wondered what he was thinking about. When he caught her watching, however, the frown evaporated. She could have stood there for a long time, simply gazing at him and finding such joy in that light in his eyes. But they had to be to work in half an hour, and it would take them almost that long to get down the mountain.

  “As much as I love looking at your beautiful body,” she said, pausing to let her words sink in, “I’m serious when I say we’re going to be late if you don’t get moving.”

  He smiled and started toward her. “I know. I’ll be ready in five minutes.”

  “Good, because that’s all you have.”

  She turned around and used the mirror to the right of the sink to braid her hair. Pat walked by and headed upstairs and she stopped to listen. How could something like the waft of air stirred up by his passing or the creak of the stairs evoke such strong yearning in her? The cabin was going to feel very lonely when he was gone and Aelissm dreaded similar moments when she would be standing beside the sink and there would be no footfalls above her.

  Stop thinking like this, she told herself. If you aren’t willing to go to Seattle to be with him, you have no right to ask him to stay here with you.

  Angry with that line of thought and the fact that she hadn’t managed to convince herself she could return to Washington, she hurriedly finished braiding her hair and headed outside. Since the first night they’d made love, she’d pondered that question over and over again and every time she thought about going back, she felt sick. She loved Pat, she knew she did, but she hated that place and all its bad memories more. What did that make her? Selfish. She plopped her helmet on her head and yanked the chin strap tight, cringing as the material slid hotly across her skin.

  True to his word, Pat was outside, fully dressed and ready to go, in five minutes. His dark auburn hair was still wet, but it probably wouldn’t stay that way long in the warm afternoon, even with the helmet on. He climbed on his dirt bike and looked at her expectantly. She realized she was merely straddling her bike and had not yet kick-started it.

  “A little distracted, are we, my dear?” he asked.

  “A bit, yes.”

  Pat wasn’t the only thing distracting her. She’d become steadily more confused as to why Adam hadn’t responded to her note. Surely he should have done something in retribution by now. But there had been no letters and no phone calls. She hoped he’d decided to up and leave or was at least regrouping, but dread had threaded itself through her. He wasn’t done with her yet and she wondered at the wisdom of giving in to impulse and seeking him out.

  Her ponderings about Adam took her all the way to the Bedspread Inn, wher
e she got the answer she was looking for. Before she’d even walked in the door, the woman who’d been serving all day came outside to greet her.

  “Aeli, there was a man in here earlier today. He left an envelope for you.”

  “A man? What’d he look like?” Before the waitress could answer, Aelissm held up a hand. “No, let me guess. Medium everything.”

  “Yeah, I guess that’s about it. Do you know who it was?”

  “We know,” Pat said. “May I have it?”

  “Sure thing, Pat. I left it by the phone.”

  Pat strode forward and Aelissm had to stretch her legs to keep up. He’d gone into protector mode. She recognized it easily now. His back was straight, his shoulders squared and all the warmth had left his eyes. Before Aeli could reach for the letter, Pat snagged it. Instantly, she regretted not telling him what she’d done. He should know, and undoubtedly he would, as soon as he read Adam’s letter. Aelissm decided to break that bit of news first.

  “Come back outside with me, Pat,” she beckoned.

  He obeyed, his brows creased with curiosity. She didn’t look behind to see if he followed when she started for the front deck. She didn’t need to. She could feel his presence behind her, warm and comforting, ready to defend her or hold her if she needed him to. His strength was as precious to her as the panorama of the Northstar Mountains that stretched around her as she stepped outside. She took a few moments to admire those mountains and to collect her courage.

  “I needed to do it on my own. I needed to know I could.”

  He looked up from the letter and frowned at her. “What are you talking about, Aeli?”

  “Two weeks ago, the day of my last blacksmithing class, I made a visit to Adam’s house. I left a note on his door, asking him to leave me alone.”

  “You did what?”

  She winced at the anger in his voice. It had been extremely foolish, she knew that, but it was done now and she couldn’t go back and undo it. Her reasons for daring to write the short note were still the same and still drove her to defend herself against Pat’s rightful fury. That didn’t mean it was easy to face him. He’d been angry the day they’d found out Adam was working at the Paradise Motel, but not really with her. Right now, his fury was directed straight at her.

  “I left a letter on Adam’s door.”

  “Do you realize how stupid that was, Aelissm? If he follows his past patterns, I wouldn’t be surprised if he packed up that night. All that work finding him and learning his ways is for nothing now! We have to start all over!”

  Fear quaked through her, but it wasn’t the same she’d become so familiar with over the past year. She was afraid her little act of defiance would push Pat away. The disgust on his face was like a knife to the heart. She swore she wasn’t going to cry, but tears burned her eyes anyhow.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t think—”

  “That’s quite clear.”

  “Pat, please listen to me! I had to do it.”

  He narrowed his eyes and she wanted to retreat from the chilling glare, but she forced herself to endure it. She’d written that letter to Adam because with him still here, there was no way to know if this fire between her and Pat was strong enough to bear the sacrifice one or both of them would have to make.

  “Do explain what you mean.”

  Aelissm swallowed the lump in her throat and stared out at the mountains, trying to get the sight of his angry face out of her mind. She felt like a coward for avoiding him. With a deep, ragged breath, she met his gaze again. Her eyes continued to burn with unshed tears and when she spoke, her voice quivered.

  “I’m tired of playing cat and mouse with him and I’m really tired of being the mouse, waiting for him to pounce. But I don’t want him gone for the same reasons anymore. I’m not afraid of him, not like I was.”

  “What other reasons could you have for wanting him gone?”

  Contempt and disbelief. That stung. But she refused to give in. He meant too much to her to lose him over something so stupid.

  “My reason is standing in front of me.”

  He blinked in confusion. “What?”

  “I love you, Pat.”

  That certainly took him by surprise. His mouth fell open and his eyes widened and he stared at her with an expression containing so many emotions that she couldn’t decipher it.

  “I want him gone because I need to know if what we’ve found can last. I love you, I know that, and I want to fight for us, but I can’t if he’s here because I can’t know if you’re staying with me because my uncle asked you to protect me or because you feel the same and—”

  His mouth clamped over hers, effectively silencing her flood of explanations. He gripped her arms and pulled her into his body. The tears came then, sliding down her face in trails of hot shame and relief and joy. She tasted the salt of them in the kiss and let go. The sobs racked her and when his arms came around her, she collapsed against him. He held her head to his chest and murmured wordlessly to her.

  “I’m sorry… I’m sorry,” was all she could say.

  “Oh, sweetheart,” he whispered. “I shouldn’t have said what I did. You don’t deserve it and I didn’t mean it.”

  “I know.”

  “I just… saw everything we’ve won against him crumbling away.”

  He kissed her again, tenderly, apologizing. Then he just held her and she was content to stay in his arms as long as he would allow.

  “What are we going to do with ourselves, Aeli?” he asked.

  “I have no idea.”

  “Can I ask why you thought letting Winters know you knew where he lived would get him out of your life?”

  “I thought I could push him into doing something stupid.”

  “Ah. Well, you know him better than I do. Maybe you’re right.”

  Aelissm pulled out of his embrace and took the letter from him. “One way to find out,” she said and tore into it.

  That was a nasty little trick, Aelissm, but it won’t work. You’re not going to chase me away that easily. So you know where I live. Big deal. What are you going to do about it? And I will not let you simply move on with your detective. You say I won’t let us move on from Bryce’s death. Well, there’s still too much blocking us. We can’t move on yet. We may never move on. And remind your lover that he can’t have what’s mine. I told him that once and I tell him again now, but I won’t tell him a third time.

  Aelissm’s body suddenly felt as if her blood had been replaced by ice water. Apparently, Adam did still have a hold on her. She’d been a fool to believe she could calmly face him down and tell him that it was over. The weeks of peace must have addled her wits.

  “Well, sounds to me like he’s digging in. I think you’re right, Aeli. He’s not going anywhere.”

  If Pat was bothered by Adam’s mention of him, he didn’t show it at all. In fact, he regarded the letter with amazing calm and unconcern.

  “This doesn’t disturb you?” she asked.

  “Not really. He’s making threats. Which means he’s running out of options.” Pat re-folded the letter and tucked it in his back pocket. “So, Aeli, you want to play this game by your rules? What’s our next move?”

  He wasn’t patronizing her. He was asking her opinion, and his apparent confidence in her restored her own. She straightened and thought about how best to bring Adam to them. A feral smile lifted her lips.

  “We haven’t had a potluck in a couple months because everyone’s been too busy. Give it another week and the cutting and baling will be done for this round and people will have the time. We can invite him.”

  “He might be getting desperate, but I don’t think he’s to that point yet.”

  “Then we give the invitation to Amber. She’ll beg him to come and if he cares about her enough….”

  “He’ll come because he won’t want to explain why he doesn’t want to.” Pat paused for a moment. “And if he shows up, what do you want to do? He’s broken the restraining order so we can arr
est him. Aaron Hammond can, anyhow. We could do that anytime you wanted now, I guess. But is that what you want?”

  Aelissm took a deep breath. It didn’t take as long as she would’ve thought to formulate her answer. “No. I just want to be left alone to live my life and forget what happened in Seattle.” She took his hands and threaded her fingers through his. “Truth be told, I want my funny friend Adam back. He’s a good man at heart and I don’t want him to suffer anymore, either. Unless he does something… I just want to talk to him and see if I can convince him to let it go.”

  “It’s a plan,” Pat remarked.

  “If Amber is serious about working for me this summer, she won’t take no for an answer from him.”

  “Whatever happened to your concern for her well-being? As I recall, you wouldn’t talk to me for two weeks because I wouldn’t let you go back and warn her.”

  Aelissm shrugged. “Like you said, she’s a big girl. Besides, she seems pretty happy. I got a little tired of hearing about how great ‘Brandon’ was by the end of class.”

  “All right, Aeli. We’ll drive back in to town tomorrow and give her an invitation. Right now, we need to get working so poor Janice can go home.”

  * * *

  “What’s this?” Amber asked, holding the envelope Aelissm had just given her.

  “It’s an invitation. I want you to come to the potluck in two weeks at the Bedspread. If you’re going to work for me this summer, you’d better be there to meet the locals.”

  “Sure. Of course, Miss Davis.”

  “Call me Aelissm. We’re not in class anymore.”

  “Yeah, of course.”

  Aelissm smiled warmly. The girl was positively beaming. She genuinely liked Amber and hoped her former student hadn’t bitten off too much to chew when she’d gotten involved with Adam.