The A Circuit
Page 21
“Do I have to?” Zara jammed her helmet on and clicked the throat snap shut.
“What? No, seriously.” Fitz lowered his voice. “I was talking to Max, and he said nobody ever told Javier what happened that night. You know—what you said about him.”
Zara spun around to face him. “Wait, for real?” she said. “Come on. This place is gossip central. How could he not know?”
Fitz lifted one shoulder, then let it drop. “Guess the other guys didn’t want to freak him out. I told Max you were never going to actually rat out Javier to Jamie, anyway. So no harm, no foul. At least for that part.”
Zara wasn’t sure how to respond, so she didn’t. Just turned and lifted the saddle flap, pretending to check her girth.
After a moment of silence, Fitz cleared his throat. “Anyway, I just thought you’d like to know,” he said. “Gotta go. Have a good ride, okay?”
“Thanks,” Zara muttered without taking her eyes off the girth.
She wasn’t going to let Fitz know it, but her mood had just ticked up a notch thanks to his news. Okay, so all the other juniors still knew exactly what she’d done, plus now she had this new garbage at home to deal with. But at least she wouldn’t have to feel guilty every time she looked at Javier from now on.
At least there was that.
TOMMI
“Easy, big guy,” Tommi said as Legs shifted restlessly at the end of the lead. “Come on, just one more time up and back, okay?”
The sound of the show’s loudspeaker system crackled in the distance, but the shed row was deserted except for the two of them. Jamie was still out at the eq ring, Elliot had just left to take an adult client’s horse to the warm-up, and the other grooms were busy elsewhere. Tommi was glad. She needed some time alone with Legs to figure out what was going on with him.
Just then Legs pricked his ears and lifted his head, staring toward the end of the aisle. Turning that way, Tommi saw Kate entering, still dressed in her tidy navy show jacket and tall boots.
Tommi felt a flash of guilt. Oops. She’d meant to try to get over to the ring to watch Kate’s eq trip.
“Hey,” she called. “Did you already ride? How’d it go?”
Kate frowned, a dark look flashing through her eyes. “Could’ve been better.”
Uh-oh. Tommi knew better than to ask. Kate would tell her about it when she was ready.
Meanwhile Kate was looking at Legs, who was pawing at the sawdust footing. “He any better today?” she asked.
“I’m not sure. Actually, do you have a sec? I could really use someone to jog him while I watch.”
“Sure.” Kate took the lead, giving the lanky gelding a pat. “Come on, Legs. Let’s go.”
She clucked and wriggled the lead, urging Legs into a trot. Tommi kept her eyes trained on the horse’s legs, watching for any sign of a bobble, any shortness of stride—anything at all that wasn’t what it should be. But whatever it was that she’d felt, she couldn’t see it now. She sighed as Kate and Legs stopped.
“Anything?” Kate asked.
Tommi shook her head. “I’m starting to think that bitchy hotshot trainer chick was right yesterday,” she muttered. “Maybe I did choke—maybe I imagined the whole thing.”
“No way,” Kate said. “Trust your gut. If you thought he felt off, it was better not to push him, right?”
Tommi didn’t answer. Just stared at the horse, who was standing there nudging at Kate’s shoulder with his muzzle, looking bored and impatient. With no clue that he held her entire future in those long, slender, oh-so-fragile legs of his.
Just then Zara wandered into view. “Hi,” she said. “What are you guys doing?”
“Trying to figure out if Legs is lame or if I’m crazy,” Tommi said with a loud sigh.
Zara wrinkled her nose. “You mean because of that thing yesterday? You’re still obsessing over that?” She grinned. “Come on—we all know you punked out of that class because you knew you couldn’t compete with my awesome ride!”
Tommi shot her a look. “Whatever. This isn’t a joke. If he’s not sound enough to hold up to the show lifestyle …”
“Don’t panic, Tommi,” Kate put in softly. “It could just be an abscess or some other minor thing like that.”
Zara didn’t look too interested. “Hey, so did you already finish your eq class?” she asked Kate. “I meant to come over and watch, but I got, um, distracted.” She smirked and licked her lips.
Even though she was still distracted by her own problems, Tommi couldn’t help noticing the little gesture and wondering what it meant. Could it have something to do with Grant?
“So I got there a little too late—Jamie said you’d already finished,” Zara was saying. “Anyway, how’d it go?”
“It went,” Kate said tightly.
“Ooookay.” Zara raised an eyebrow. “Guess that means no ribbon this time, huh?”
Kate shook her head, staring at the ground. Tommi winced on her behalf. Why did she always have to be so damn hard on herself? So she’d blown a class. It happened to the best of them. Kate needed to shrug it off and move on, not eat herself alive over it.
“So what happened?” Zara asked. “I thought you guys were, like, the new barn superstars or whatever.”
“Maybe Fable is,” Kate said quietly.
Zara shrugged and returned her attention to Legs. “So what’s wrong with him, anyway?” she asked, giving the gelding a pat.
“Good question,” Tommi replied grimly. “I could feel he wasn’t quite right when I rode him. But I can’t see anything from the ground, so I’m not sure what to do about it.”
“Well, that’s why we have vets, I guess.” Zara didn’t sound too concerned. “It’s not like you don’t have other horses to ride.”
Tommi didn’t know why she’d bothered to say anything. Why she’d expected Zara to understand. How could she? She’d never taken anything seriously in her life, at least as far as Tommi could tell.
“Whatever,” she said. “If he doesn’t get better, my pro career could be over before it begins.”
“Lighten up, chica,” Zara said. “This is supposed to be fun, right?” She stared from Tommi to Kate and back again. “Right?”
Kate shrugged, keeping her gaze on the floor. Tommi just rolled her eyes. In her opinion, Zara was a little too much about the fun. But what was the point of saying so?
The buzz of her cell phone interrupted her thoughts. It was a text from Alex:
Hi Tommi—hope ur having a good show! Can’t wait 2 c u when u get back on Sun. Maybe we can get 2gether then if ur not 2 tired from winning all those blue ribbons & stuff?
Tommi smiled as she scanned the message. He was so sweet—and hearing from him was exactly what she needed right now. It was a reminder that there was more to life than horses.
She texted him back quickly:
Sun night sounds like a plan. Will let u know 2morrow what time I’ll b home, ok? ttyt!
After sending the text, Tommi stuck her phone back in her pocket. Kate handed her Legs’s lead.
“I’d better go,” Kate said. “Javier offered to cool Fable out for me, but I know he’s got other stuff to do, so …”
Letting her voice trail off, she took off down the aisle. “Wow,” Zara commented. “She seems even more stressed than usual. And that’s saying something.”
“She’s fine. Just busy, that’s all.” But as Tommi watched Kate disappear around the corner, she couldn’t help feeling a flash of concern. Kate did seem extra tense lately. Was it because Fitz wasn’t at the show? Tommi wondered if maybe having him around was good for Kate after all.
Then Legs shoved at her with his head, and she gave him a pat.
“Okay, mister,” she told him. “We’re not accomplishing anything here. Let’s get you back to your stall.”
KATE
Elliot paused in the middle of grooming Marissa’s horse, sniffing at the air. “Smells like the pizza’s here,” he said. “You’d better go before that pa
ck of wolves eats it all.”
Kate glanced up from rubbing down the dark bay gelding’s legs. “What? Oh, um, that’s okay, I’m not that hungry. And I know Miguel was hoping to leave early tonight …”
“Shoo,” the groom said firmly, plucking the liniment bottle out of her hand. “You’ve barely stopped moving since we got home from the show, girl. You deserve a break.”
Kate was tempted to protest. She wasn’t really in the mood to hang out listening to the other juniors gossip over their post-lesson pizza. Then her stomach let out a hollow grumble, and she realized she was ravenous.
“Okay,” she told Elliot. “Maybe I’ll just grab one slice and then come back and help you guys finish up.”
Halfway to the tack room, she could already hear the others laughing and talking. The scents of hot tomato sauce, cheese, and garlic drifting down the aisle made her feel a little weak in the knees. When had she eaten last? She couldn’t remember, but her stomach was telling her it had been way too long.
Fitz waved when she came in. He was lounging against an empty saddle rack shoving pizza into his mouth. Everyone else was already there, too. Tommi, Marissa, and Zara were sitting on the bench. Summer was standing nearby, waving her hands around as she talked to them. Dani had just grabbed another slice, stepping over Jamie’s bulldog to get it. As usual, Chaucer was planted right in front of the boxes on the bandage trunk, while the younger dogs worked the room begging for scraps.
“Hi,” Kate said to Fitz, bending over to grab a slice of plain cheese from one of the boxes. “What’s all the excitement?”
Fitz smirked. “Summer’s just whining because she got shut out in the eq. Again.”
Summer heard him and looked over. “Shut up,” she said. “You know I’m totally right. That girl only pinned higher than me because her mother’s head trainer at that big barn on Long Island and the judge obviously knew it.”
“Get over it, Summer,” Dani said. “That girl beat you because she’s ridden like ten horses a day since she was in diapers.”
Marissa picked a gob of gooey cheese off her pizza and fed it to one of the dogs. “Yeah. Or if anything gives her an edge, it’s that she’s even taller and skinnier than Kate.” She glanced down at herself with a rueful smile. “Which pretty much explains why I never pin in the eq.”
Dani, Tommi, and Fitz laughed, but Summer shot Kate an irritated glance. “Being tall and skinny didn’t help Kate much this time, did it?” she snapped. “Even I beat her. And I’m not tall, or a trainer’s kid, or even a working student who gets fancy horses to ride for free anytime she wants. So there!” She flounced over and grabbed another slice of pepperoni.
Kate froze in midbite, suddenly feeling like some kind of gangly eight-foot-tall beanpole freak. Was that really what Summer and the others thought of her? That she only won because Jamie gave her horses to ride for free? What did any of these people know about her, anyway? What did they know about all the work she had to put in to earn those rides?
Tommi frowned. “Shut the hell up, Summer,” she said. “Don’t take it out on Kate just because you’re feeling pissy about your own riding.”
“Yeah.” Marissa giggled. “Look on the bright side—at least you didn’t do a face-plant over the first jump like that poor kid from Maple Mount whose horse tripped …”
Kate didn’t hear the rest. Fitz had just stepped around the trunk and sidled up next to her. She was so distracted she almost choked on the big bite of pizza in her mouth. Swallowing it down in a loud gulp, she smiled up at him uncertainly.
“Don’t pay any attention to Summer, gorgeous,” he whispered, slipping an arm around her shoulders. “She’s just jealous because you’re hotter and more talented than she is.”
Kate just shrugged, shooting the other girls a glance. She still felt self-conscious, as if everyone in the room was judging everything about her, even though the others had already moved on to gossiping about someone else. She set down her pizza, suddenly not in the mood for this.
“I should go help the guys finish up,” she said.
“I’ve got a better idea. Let’s go for a walk—just the two of us.” Fitz gave her arm a squeeze. “What do you say?”
Kate hesitated, glancing up into his playful hazel eyes. Seeing the way he was looking at her made her shiver without really knowing why. She flashed back to that night in the hay stall. He’d been so sweet since then, so eager to make it up to her. Was he for real?
Whatever. Tommi and the others might think she was naive, but Kate couldn’t help believing—or was it hoping?—that Fitz was sincere. That he actually thought she was something special. Not that she quite understood why, but still, it was nice.
“Okay, I guess,” she said.
He smiled, grabbed her hand, and pulled her out of the room. Kate was pretty sure she saw Tommi glance at them as they left, but the others didn’t seem to notice their departure. Good.
Fitz led her down the aisle and around the corner into the feed room. Then he dropped her hand, took her by the shoulders, and gently turned her to face him.
“This is more like it,” he said. “Come here.”
He pulled her in for a kiss. Kate sank into him, feeling the tension seep out of her body for the first time in days. For a second she forgot about everything else as their mouths explored each other.
Then she felt his hands start to wander. “Hey,” she said softly, pulling away and pushing his hands back where they belonged.
“Sorry,” he said in a low, husky voice, a sheepish smile playing on his lips as he pulled her close again. “Force of habit. I’ll be good—I swear.”
To her surprise, he was. At least mostly. A couple of times things started to get more intense, but he always pulled back before it got uncomfortable. For a while Kate drifted along in a pleasant haze, letting what was happening between them happen, not thinking, just feeling.
Then some small part of her mind started to wonder: Why? Why was Fitz trying so hard, changing his usual hound-dog habits just to be with her? Was she really worth it? What exactly did he see in her?
She started to get that sour feeling in the pit of her stomach again. The same one she’d had the other night while talking to her dad after the big blowup. The same one that had attacked her at the show when she’d seen Jamie waiting at the gate for her after that eq round. Why did they all keep trying so hard, believing she could be what they wanted her to be, when she couldn’t seem to live up to any of it?
Her body tensed. Fitz felt it and pulled back. He put one finger under her chin, tilting up her face so he could look into her eyes.
“What?” he whispered. “You seem kind of—I don’t know, like a million miles away all of a sudden. You getting tired of me already?”
His words were light, but she saw real doubt in his eyes. She shook her head.
“Sorry,” she said. “It’s not you at all. Guess I’m just distracted.”
“By what?”
She shrugged, not sure what to say.
“Come on, Kate.” He caressed her cheekbone lightly with one finger. “You can trust me.”
She hesitated. Could she? She felt really close to him right now—as close as she’d felt to anyone in a long time. But that didn’t mean she’d forgotten what had happened the last time she’d let herself trust him. No, she wasn’t ready to risk something like that again. Not quite yet.
Besides, how could someone like him ever understand what she was going through? Fitz sailed through life like he owned the world. Which his family pretty much did, come to think of it. He couldn’t know what it was like to be her, to have her family, her problems. Her life.
He was still staring at her. Waiting. She had to tell him something.
“It’s just—uh, my friend Natalie,” she blurted out without really thinking, just latching on to the first thing she could think of that didn’t directly involve him or the barn. “Um, we’ve been, you know, kind of drifting apart lately, and now she invited me out to her ba
rn on Saturday.”
“Wait. You mean that lesson barn where you first learned to ride?” he asked. “Happy something, right?”
She nodded, a little surprised that he remembered. “Yeah. Happy Acres. They’re having a show, and Nat’s all excited about some new project horse she’s working with, and, well, I guess I’m just a little nervous about going back there.”
Fitz smiled, his finger tracing the outline of her chin. “Dr. Hall’s got the perfect solution to your problem,” he said. “I’ll come with. You know, like for moral support.”
“What?” Kate blurted out in surprise. “Wait, you don’t have to do that. It’s just a dinky little beginner-type schooling show, and I’m sure you have better stuff to do on Saturday.”
“Nothing better than spending the day with my favorite girl.” Fitz shrugged. “Besides, it’ll be fun. Jamie’s always telling us to observe other riders and stuff, right?”
Kate wasn’t sure the Happy Acres show was quite what Jamie had in mind. Still, what could she say?
“Um, okay, if you’re sure …,” she began.
“Sure I’m sure.” Fitz grinned down at her. “It’s a date.”
Kate smiled back weakly, trying not to imagine what Nat was going to say when she showed up with Fitz. Talk about worlds colliding …
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Thank you to both of my parents for getting up early to take me to horse shows, spending endless hours in the freezing cold and scorching heat to watch me show, clapping when I win, and cheering me up when I lose. But most important, thank you for always supporting my dreams and making me believe in myself. Thank you to Robin Greenwood, Siobhan Latchford, Scott Stewart and Ken Berkeley, Jeffrey Welles, Tracy Brindle, Barbara Jaques, and Jimmy Doyle. Without you I would have never made it to where I am today. Most of all, thank you to my friends who have stuck with me through the years and who always have my back, tell me when I am wrong, and support me no matter what choices I make. Growing up with you guys around horses made for the best memories a girl could ask for, and having you still by my side to look back on it has made the sacrifice and hard work bearable. What I have won in the ring and accomplished outside of it would mean nothing without you.