List of Sins: A Steamy Romance: Seduced by Lust

by Holt, S. w.

  Ryan sits up straight in his chair, “My God, did he hurt you?”

  “Yes, but not physically. It scared the hell out of me and now I sure as hell don’t trust him. I can't wait to leave for a while. I hope the distance will encourage him to move on.”

  “Well okay. That's why I came here. I had to go over to Amelia's after Marcus left that night. They had a terrible fight when she finally confessed to him that there was no way the baby could be his and that I am the baby's father.”

  “How did he get her to confess? I did plant the seed as you suggested, but I didn't think he would go about it the way that he chose, drunk and belligerent.”

  “He wasn't drunk and out of control until after she confirmed paternity. After he canceled the wedding and called her every derogatory name in the book, he started packing his suitcases. That's when she called me to come over. When I got there, he had packed up his car and grabbed a bottle of liquor out of the wet bar. I was coming up the walk as he was storming out the door, he yelled, 'she's all yours!' then he left with tires smoking.”

  I sigh while shaking my head, “So what are you going to do? Obviously she called you to come save her. Are you going to take her back?”

  He laughs then scowls at me, “Of course not Laney. I don’t need to be involved with someone who thinks so little of me and lies about the paternity of her baby...my baby. I don't need to go any further. I told you before, if the baby was mine, then I wanted the opportunity to be a part of her life. It's my right and I made that abundantly clear. I used to think that Amelia would make the best partner in life. But after all of this, I realized that I just liked the idea of a trophy wife on my arm. I'm worried about her ability to be a decent mother now that my eyes are open as to just the kind of person she is under the surface.”

  “Yeah, I don’t know what has possessed her to do everything that she has done and not to mention how many people it's affected. The upside is that I have found what I believe to be a new chance at being happy with someone I never would have thought would be a possibility. Maybe you can hold out the same hope that now that you are rid of her, that you will now be free to find the right person too.”

  Shaking his head, “I hope that's true but you know what? For now, I just want to be single and have a whole lot of fun. I don't want anything holding me down for a while. I've had enough of that for the last eight years.”

  I laugh, “I'm sort of in the same situation. I'm so glad Grant and I found each other as a result of all of this. At the same time, it might have been interesting had I been forced to be on my own for a change. I don't know if I ever told you, but I've never actually been left to my own devices. Whether it was my parents, the hospital staff, my sorority mother at college, there was always someone hovering nearby. Then of course as soon as I graduated, I married Marcus. In some ways I've always had my hand held but I must admit, I'm not entirely sure of what to do if completely on my own.”

  “From what I've observed you will do just fine." He spots the empty luggage waiting by the door, “I should probably let you get back to your preparations, I only wanted to touch base with you and see for myself that you are okay.”

  “I'm as good as to be expected. I've had a lot of time to think and sort things out. Do you recall the conversation we had the night of Marcus's birthday?”

  He shakes his head no while scrunching up his nose.

  “Well, I asked you how it worked with you and Amelia having an open relationship. I told you I couldn't fathom that being a way of life and you assured me it was not a big deal. I certainly don’t mean to be a person saying I told you so...”

  “But yet here you are.” He looks away then chuckles, “Well I guess you were right on that account, but I'm the one who was right that you were in over your head. Maybe next time you'll listen to that inner voice of yours. Making decisions that can pave the path of your future can sometimes be bumpy, not at all smooth. I sure as hell am living proof.”

  “Oh are we a philosopher today?” I tease. “Seriously though, I realize it was a mistake. It was one that brought out the best and the worst of all of us...our real selves surfaced and forced the issues that had apparently been lurking to come to the surface. Had this not happened, we still would have found out that Amelia and Marcus were having an affair but only later I'd be willing to bet. I've been reminded recently that I can't control everything...I need to let go more often.”

  “Excuse me, I hate to interrupt but I'm done with installing the locks.”

  Hopping up from my lounge chair, “Great, I'll be right there.”

  I turn to Ryan, “I'm glad you stopped by and cleared the air.”

  “I am too. Go have a wonderful trip and when you get back, I'll be a new daddy.” He beams.

  “That is truly going to take some time for me to get used to for sure. Let me wish you an early congratulations!” I give his arm a quick squeeze then we head back inside.

  Walking arm-in-arm to the front door, I wave goodbye to Ryan then turn my attention to my new locks.

  By Friday, my nerves are shot and my patience has been worn down. Marcus has been relentless about contacting me in all ways imaginable. He is profoundly sorry, his words not mine, for how he behaved last week and has been apologizing ever since. I haven’t responded to him. I have even gone to such lengths as made arrangements through his parents for his last visitation with Charlie before we leave. I haven’t been ready to face him nor am I willing to forgive him. He's done too much to me.

  With the flight leaving later tonight, I still have to finish our packing and getting the house cleaned so I don’t come back to a messy home.

  My parents have Charlie at their house so they could keep him out of my hair today. It also allowed them to spend some time with him before we leave. I look at the clock and note that they should be bringing him back within the next hour.

  No sooner do I zip up Charlie's suitcase, I hear a car door outside. I head down the stairs to the foyer just as the door chimes.

  Just to be safe, I look out the peephole to see Marcus standing on the front steps. My heart is palpitating out of my chest. I don’t open the door. Instead, I lean against it taking a deep breath, deciding that I should pretend that I'm not home.

  “Laney! Come on, I know you’re there! I need to speak with you, it's urgent!”

  With a great amount of hesitation, I start to open the multiple bolts.

  “Don’t you think that's going overboard?” He says pointing to the locks.

  “No, I do not Marcus. I am protecting myself from you and your drunken rages.” I say through clenched teeth.

  Looking down at his feet he mumbles, “I deserve that but you know I was not in my right mind and that I would never in a million lifetimes want to harm you.” He looks straight at me with red-rimmed eyes, he looks terrible.

  “Well, I didn’t know that a week ago. So what do you want? I have a flight in less than four hours and it took me so long to get Charlie pack that now I'm behind schedule. I still have to finish my packing.”

  “Yeah well, that's sort of why I'm here. I promise that I won't take much of your time.” He says quietly.

  “Fine. You have five minutes.” He starts to protest, “Okay, ten tops but then you have to leave!”

  Shutting the door behind him, I lock only the bottom bolt and lead him into the family room. I motion for him to sit down and I take a seat on the adjacent overstuffed chair by the fireplace.

  Looking at him with anticipation, he finally speaks. “You can't take Charlie to Ireland with you.”

  “Why not?” I demand with my heart racing even faster.

  “Because I don't want him to go, after all. It's my prerogative as his father to decide whether going on an extended trip like that is in his best interest. I have deemed that it is not.”

  I jump to my feet and stand over him, “Just what the hell are you doing? Why now at the eleventh hour Marcus?”

  “Because I don’t want you to go either.
At the end of the day, my family is all that I have. I've given it a great deal of thought and I would never be able to live if something were to happen to you or if you made the wrong choice where Grant is concerned.”

  “First of all, just what do you expect to have happen? We'll be okay and second of all, have you given any thought to what it would do to Charlie if you took this trip away from him now? He'll be crushed, that's what! I am doing everything in my power to control the disaster you have already created. The last on the list being the wedding being called off and then having to explain to him that the baby won't end up being his sister. It has been a nightmare trying explain all of this to such a little boy!”

  “I know that. I feel awful about all of that and will spend a lifetime attempting to make it up to him and you.”

  “Listen, I agree, Charlie is your son, and that he is of your concern. But, I am no longer your family, and, therefore, no longer your concern.”

  He rises to stand before me, just inches away from my body, he reaches out taking my hands into his.

  In a tender voice, “That is a terrible mistake and something I desperately wish to correct immediately.”

  Confused and not wanting to believe what it is that I'm hearing, “Just what are you saying Marcus?” I pull my hands out of his grasp.

  “I'm saying that my plan is to do everything in my power to get you back. If that means breaking Charlie's heart in order to keep you here, then that's what I'm willing to do. I have to stop you from adding to the list of mistakes that have already been made.”

  “List of mistakes? Is that what you call destroying our family and then treating me like trash out at the curb? I'd say it's a long list of sins, your sins Marcus." I take a deep breath, "I can save you the trouble, and I’m not interested. Oh and, by the way, you don't have enough power to fix those mistakes or sins!”

  "Just let me try.” He pleads.

  Shaking my head vigorously, “It's too late Marcus, there is nothing you can do to change what has been done and where that leaves us now. Besides, up until a week ago, Charlie and I weren’t enough. ”

  I swallow hard trying to dissipate the huge lump that has formed at the back of my throat and the tears that are flowing.

  “You ruined us.” I say in only a whisper.

  “No! Don't say that! That's where you are wrong. The damage can be repaired, I know we can be salvaged. ” His voice sounding more excited, “I will make you love me again and I will get my family back.”

  He makes a choking noise as he swipes away a stray tear, “Delaney, I do love you and Charlie...nothing else matters to me. Nothing.”

  He chokes on his words then looks at me with tears streaming down his face.

  “I know that I have put you through hell and I don't deserve your forgiveness. I intend to prove to you that we belong together and I can be the man that I once was but even better. Please just give me another chance.” His eyes pleading.

  Then he drops to the floor grabbing my hands again, “I'm on my knees asking...no I'm begging you...please stay here and give me a chance to earn back your love!”

  With those last words, I stand staring down at him in stunned, angry silence.

  Excerpt from Book Two: Sway of Envy

  Chapter One

  Fighting back the urge to slap him, I turn on my heel and leave him on his knees sobbing on the foyer floor. As I reach the kitchen, I hear him scrambling to his feet and the sounds of his footsteps following me.

  “Delaney! Why are you walking away from me? Come back here, I'm trying to make up with you!” He says hollering.

  Ignoring his outburst, I continue the task of pouring myself a double shot of the Irish whiskey I have taken to keeping around the house in honor of Grant. My response to his heavy breathing coupled with huffing and puffing is to pour myself another drink.

  Marcus reaches for the bottle and I slap his hand away. “No, that's not for you!” The last thing I need is for Marcus to get slobbering drunk and passing out while I'm trying to leave town.

  “The hell it's not, I bought it!” He snaps.

  “No, I bought it and if you hadn't been a cheating louse, you wouldn’t be here groveling at my feet for forgiveness.” I correct.

  “That's true. But you know I never meant to hurt you so doesn’t that account for anything?” He pleads.

  I about shoot the dark amber liquid out through my nose. “Are you for real? Sure if you really felt remorse, I suppose it would account for an awful lot Marcus. Have you forgotten you that treated me like shit over the last several months? You cheated on me with my best friend and would have married her had her unborn child been yours. Oh and I did leave out the part that had I not told you that Ryan is the father, you would have already done the deed! Seriously, you need to leave. I have no interest in hashing this out with you today.”

  The bile at the back of my throat is burning along with the whiskey. I dump out the rest of the liquor from glass into the sink filling it instead with sparkling water from the refrigerator.

  Turning to look at Marcus I'm surprised his silver tongue hasn't already glossed over all my points. Instead of finding his usual smug look, he is seems to be fighting uncharacteristic tears.

  I’m startled as he quickly grabs me by the arms and pulls me closer to him.

  “Laney, I do still love you and I just want the chance to prove that to you. Can't you find it in you to forgive me? I know I'm a repeating myself but my sincerity is none the less true.”

  I shake my head no but can't answer. My ability to speak seems to be halted by my emotions. Trying to pull away from him I find it impossible with the hold he still has on my arms. Looking in his bloodshot teary eyes, I want so badly for him to be gone. Forever.

  “The pain you have caused and the destruction of this family is unforgivable Marcus. You only cared about satisfying your own desires.” He finally releases the hold on me as I stumble backward I notice the dark cloud travel across his face.

  “I thought you might give me resistance or that you wouldn’t readily forgive me or give me my family back.” He pauses while I let out an involuntary snort.

  “So, let’s be clear about something. I have no intention of allowing you to take my son away from me. Not now, not ever. So unless you intend to allow me the chance to make this wrong into a right, you might as well cancel your travel plans because you aren’t going on that trip.” He says while snarling at me.

  My breathing increases and the panic in my core causes my pulse to quicken.

  “Who the hell are you to tell me I can't take my son for a summer trip? Are you out of your goddamned mind? We've been planning this for nearly a month Marcus! Charlie is going to be so disappointed and so am I!”

  “Charlie is young and will rebound. It’s for the greater good Laney.” He gives me his seductive look that he used to pull out when he was coaxing me into bed.

  “Stop with looking at me like that, do you honestly think after everything that ploy is going to work on me now?”

  He scratches his chin appearing to be deep in thought. “Well, I do wonder if I still have the same effect on you. If the chemistry is still there, I know we can put this marriage back on track.”

  “Honestly this visit is going nowhere. Having sex with you is not going to solve anything Marcus.” Putting my hands on my hips, I look him straight in the eye, “So what do you want me to do to get you to back off me and let me leave on this trip....with Charlie...in peace?”

  A sickening and mighty disturbing smirk spreads across his handsome but devilish face.

  “Sleep with me.” He says while licking his lower lip. “You have to sleep with me tonight in order to earn my blessing to leave on your precious trip.”

  Judging by the serious look on his face, I know that he is dead serious. Just how am I going to get out of this? Or will I have to sleep with the devil?

  List of Sins

  Book Two: Scorched by Envy

  Coming July 2015

/>   List of Sins

  Book Three: Temptation and Pride

  Coming September 2015

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