What a Boy Needs

by Nyrae Dawn

Page 7

  Author: Nyrae Dawn

  That makes two of us, bro.

  I can't stop wondering if I shouldn't have come at all.

  ***

  About an hour and a half later, Aspen and Sebastian are sharing an iPod, one of the buds in her ear and the other in his. They were messing with the portable DVD player earlier, but something's up with it, so I guess they resorted to this.

  Pris hasn't spoken a word to me since her "whatever" earlier, but I have no idea what to do about it. Why do girls have to be so confusing? I mean, if this was Bastian he'd open his mouth and tell me what's up, we'd hash it out and be done with it. Usually that's the way Pris would be too, but everything's so different now.

  I want things to go back to the way they were before.

  Pre-Jaden running and pre-Pris thinking she liked me.

  Without thinking, I reach over and stick my hand into the bag of Cheetos on her lap and grab a handful. Pris mumbles something under her breath. I almost ignore her, but I’m tired of playing this game. There's no point in us being here if we're going to fight the whole time. "What?"

  "Nothing. "

  "No, I'm pretty sure you said something. Unless I'm hearing things. I don't think I'm hearing things. "

  She jerks her head to the left to look at me. "I said help yourself. "

  "Dude! Chill out. You're like Godzilla on hormones lately. "

  "Dios!"

  The Spanish starts rolling off her tongue and I know she's pissed, but so what. Dios is one of the only words I know and it means, "God. " She's definitely not saying it the praising way.

  I'm pissed too, though. I open my mouth to say something, but Sebastian beats me to it. "That's it. Pull the hell over. "

  "What?" I ask.

  "Get off the freeway. There's an off-ramp. "

  "The more we stop, the longer it's going to take to get to Salt Lake. " It's twelve hours from home, but that's where we wanted to make it the first day and then to spend some time there.

  "Dude, get off. I'm serious. We're not going to Salt Lake. "

  I groan, but hit the ramp to get off the freeway.

  "There's a Best Western over there. Pull in, we're done. Seriously, you guys are giving me a headache. "

  Unlike me, Pris has Aspen's support as she's leaning toward Pris, with hand on her shoulder.

  I pull up in front of the hotel, about ready to walk away from all of them.

  "Woodstock, can you get us a room?" Bastian asks her all sweet and sucking up.

  Pris is already jumping out of the car and slamming the door.

  Really?

  "Sure. Where are you guys going?" she asks him.

  "We'll be back in a bit. Jay and I are going for a little ride. "

  Chapter Six

  "Scoot over," Sebastian tells me, and I climb into the passenger seat.

  "Sir, yes, Sir!" I salute him, but he ignores me and jumps behind the wheel before pulling away. He's in one of his pissed off Bastian moods so I know we're about to get into it.

  He doesn't say anything as he drives. I see a sign that says we're in Elko, wherever that is. All I know is it's not Salt Lake and that's where we're supposed to be spending our first night. Finally, after he keeps driving, obviously not knowing where we're doing, I blurt, "Just say it. I swear, sometimes you're more of a drama queen than a six year-old girl. "

  This gets his attention quickly. "I'm a drama queen? What do you call whatever's going on between you and Pris? Seriously. You guys are screwing with my mood. I feel like I need to call Daddy Peace for some lessons on meditation or some shit. "

  "I could always knock you out if that would be easier. I know it would be for me. "

  He just looks at me and shakes his head. "Oh! Arcade. " Bastian makes a quick turn and parks.

  "We stopped four hours early and left the girls to play video games?"

  "Obviously. " Sebastian jumps out of the car and I follow. I don't know if he thinks I'm an idiot or what, but at least I'll score a few games out of it.

  We head inside to all the flashing lights and loud sounds. After getting quarters we play a few games before we grab a drink and sit down in one of the booths. It reminds me of the place back home we used to hang out at, only this place is actually bigger. My drink is about halfway done when I'm tired of playing his game. "So what's up? You decide to play counselor today or what?" I slouch back in the seat. My hair flops down in my face and I push it away before biting at the hoop in my bottom lip.

  Sebastian looks way more serious than I need him to look right now. What I want is for him to make some smart-aleck comment and for me to counter it with something else.

  After what feels like. . . I don't know, a long time, he says, "Things are changing. "

  Yeah, no crap. "Things always change. " I shrug.

  "Not the four of us. We're not supposed to change. "

  I let my head rest against the back of the booth and close my eyes. I totally don't feel like doing this right now. A lot of people think Bastian's all talk—that he doesn't take things seriously or that he doesn't really think about anyone but himself. Those people don't know anything. He's seen a lot—had a lot of people come in and out of his life and the one thing he's always serious about is holding onto the people he doesn't want to lose. I feel like shit that I'm pulling out the serious Sebastian.

  I don't open my eyes when I say, "My head's all screwed up right now. "

  "Then tell me why. "

  "I can't. "

  "Then find a way to get it together yourself. "

  This makes me open my eyes. I know he's right, but it's not like I can snap my fingers and forget every single word that's been embedded into my brain. Can't forget that I'm a screw up. That Mom obviously couldn't care less and. . . surprise! I don't even know who my real dad is. It's embarrassing, and I don't want everyone feeling sorry for me. "It's not that easy. "

  Sebastian groans. "Then talk to someone or whatever. I don't know. If you don't wanna tell me, talk to Pris or Aspen or something, but—"

  "Pfft. You have said so yourself, Pris has always wished I would die a fiery death and I'm pretty sure things are double as bad now. "

  "Nah. . . I used to think that was it, but it's more than that and you and I both know it, man. "

  I don't answer him, not sure how I really feel about what he says. It's easier to pretend things don't exist than to talk about them and make them real.

  "Whatever's going on, you need to find a way to squash it, because we can't keep going how we are. Last summer, it felt like shit when everything went down and none of you guys were talking to me. Now your dumbass is going all the way to Texas. Do you really want to be out there knowing you left things like this?"

  He's right. I know that and I feel like we keep going over and over the same thing. My fault? Yep, and I definitely don't think I can keep going the way things are going right now. It's not fair to Pris. To any of them, actually. For once, I just want us to be. Simple. Without complications. I want to have fun and everything to be cool, before things change in the exact way Bastian is talking about.

  I start to laugh. Sebastian looks at me like I just lost it and maybe he's right.

  "What?"

  "You actually make sense now! After always thinking you know what you're talking about, you actually might now. It's scary as hell. "

  Sebastian flips me off. "Whatever. I've always known my shit. "

  That makes one of us.

  ***

  We hang out at the arcade a little longer before heading back to the hotel. Bastian texts Aspen to find out our room number. When we get up there, the girls are sitting in the middle of one of the beds, painting their toenails. My first thought is I sure hope they don't expect me to share a bed with Sebastian. He's my boy and all, but there's no way I plan to stay in the same bed as him all night.

  Which is probably the stupidest thought I co
uld have. Like he won't want to sleep with Aspen. But then that leaves me with. . . yeah. I'm totally going to die on this trip.

  "Took you guys long enough. We're starving. " Aspen gives us a look that says Bastian is totally in trouble. I look at Pris, the idiot in me wondering if I'll see the same look, but she's staring at her feet.

  "Wanna go grab something, baby?" Bastian asks her.

  "Yeah. " Aspen starts walking toward him all funny, I'm guessing because of her wet toenails. "And I'm thinking I deserve an ice cream too. Come on, Pris. "

  Pris looks up for the first time since we walked in. Her dark eyes skate over me quickly before landing on Aspen and Bastian. "I'm okay, actually. I'm kind of tired. I think I'll stay. "

  I jerk forward as something hits me in the back. After catching my balance I turn toward Sebastian and give him a dirty look. Yeah, like I need him to elbow me to clue me in that I should be staying too. "Umm. . . yeah. Me too. "

  Half of me expects Pris to suddenly get really hungry, but she doesn't. She just starts painting her nails again.

  "We'll bring you guys back something in case. " They're already walking toward the door. Before they go out, Sebastian adds, "Don't do anything I would do. " Then, laughing, he slams the door behind them.

  Idiot.

  "Wha'cha doing?" I ask her.

  Her eyebrows rise. Yeah, dumb question. I get it. I'm actually sort of freaking out; I don't know what to say to her. I don't like it, not only because I should know what to say to a girl, but I should know what to say to this girl.

  "You want to go for a walk or something?"

  She looks up at me and it's almost as though she's trying to tell me something with the look, I have no idea what it is. I'm positive she's going to say no, when she shrugs and mumbles, "Sure. "

  Slowly she gets up and slips her feet into a pair of flip-flops. She grabs the key card and slips it into the back pocket of her shorts and, again, she has me wishing to be something I've never wanted to be before. At this moment, that key card is the luckiest thing in the world.

  The street in front of the hotel is packed with businesses and shops. Cars pass every few seconds. Definitely not the best place to talk. We stand out here for a few seconds and I already realize this was a stupid idea. It may be after seven now, but we're also in Nevada and it's hot.

  Looking around, I remember the pool around back and head that way. We go around the corner and for once I get lucky because no one is there.

  "Come on. " I nod my head toward the pool and she follows me over.

  I open the gate and she walks in. Priscilla heads over to the far corner and I follow her.

  "It's hot. We can go back to the room if you want to. "

  "I'm good if you're good. " Still no eye contact from her.

  "I'm good, too. We can put our feet in. " But then I remember her nails. "That might mess up your nails or whatever though. We could go back to the room," I say again. "We should have stayed in the room. "

  Pris slips out of her shoes, sits down, and puts her feet in the water.

  "Come on, pretty boy. Don't tell me you're afraid of messing up your nails?" For the first time in forever, she sort of smiles at me. And yeah, it might sound stupid, but I missed it.

  "Yeah, right. Sebastian's the one you have to worry about for stuff like that. " I step out of my Vans, pull off my socks and sit next to her. I roll my baggie shorts up so they're above my knees and watch as Pris's leg makes circles in the water.

  After who knows how many circles, I get the balls to speak. "So. . . things have been kind of weird for a while. "

  Priscilla actually laughs. "Weird? Yeah, you can say that. I think it has to do with the fact that I was in love with you, thought you might feel the same, almost kissed you, got my heart broken, thought I got over you, only to get broken again when I found out you're leaving. "