Driving Me to Christmas (London Loves Book 5)

by Farrell, Julie

  “Okay. And what exactly are you going to tell him?”

  “Oh alright – I suppose there’s no harm in telling you. You are my sister, after all.”

  Sam braced herself, setting her expression to ‘ready to listen’.

  Gemma leaned forward and lowered her voice, so it was barely audible against the rabble. “I had an affair with my Rolls Royce dealer. The twins aren’t Jack’s.”

  Sam burst into laughter. “Yeah, good one, Gem. Now tell me the truth, please.”

  “I just did, Sammy. Honestly. That’s the truth.”

  “Oh my god. Gemma, what the fuck…?”

  “I know. I’m a bitch.”

  “No, you’re not. Just… I’m sure you had your reasons.”

  Gemma stared at the plate of reindeer cookies. “I miss Mum. I wish she was here.”

  Sam’s heart filled with tender emotion. She swallowed the scratchy lump in her throat. “Me too. But she’s still with us really – she made us the women we are today.”

  “You’re so much like her, Sammy. Gentle and wise. And so pretty. I’m glad you’re my sister.”

  “I’m glad, too.”

  Gemma picked up a reindeer and snapped its head off. “I hate Christmas.”

  Sam chuckled. “It’s not Rudolph’s fault.”

  “I love you, Sam. I hope you know that.”

  “I love you, too, Gem.”

  They gazed affectionately into each other’s eyes. The bustle around them faded into the background, and their private universe consisted of nothing but sisterly love. The pure tenderness pierced Sam’s heart, filling her with peace, but also with anguish. She looked away and sighed.

  “Something on your mind?” Gemma asked

  “Well, I’m worried about you, obviously – I can’t believe what you’ve just told me. What a mess.”

  “I know... But there’s something else bothering you?”

  Sam sighed. “Sometimes I feel like I should be doing more. Trying harder.”

  “With what?”

  “There’s so much suffering in the world, isn’t there? But here we all are sitting in a café slurping down caffeine so we can trawl around the shops and buy crap for people who probably don’t really want it.”

  “Yeah, but that’s all part of the Christmas experience, isn’t it?”

  “It is nowadays. But what about the love and goodwill stuff? And why can’t we care about each other all year around? I should be doing more to ease humanity’s pain.”

  Gemma scoffed. “Why do you always think it’s your job to save the world? You’re doing great. You brighten up the lives of those around you. My life would certainly be gloomier without you in it.”

  Sam smiled gratefully into her sister’s eyes. “Thank you for saying that. It means a lot.”

  Gemma shrugged and munched on the reindeer’s head.

  Sam shook away her desolation and brought herself back to her more immediate worries. “So you’re gonna tell Jack the truth?”

  “I guess so. Verlaine thinks it would be the best solution. I know my husband loves me. Well, he does at the moment, because he doesn’t know what I’ve done. But I guess I’ve got nothing to lose; we’re already divorced in my mind.”

  “You want him back?”

  “Of course I do. I love him – I regret what I did with every waking second. It’s possible if I tell him he’ll file for divorce immediately and never forgive me, which is what I deserve.”

  “But maybe he will forgive you. Eventually. So surely it’s worth telling him everything?”

  “Yeah, Verlaine said that, too.” Gemma’s eyes welled up with tears. “But I don’t know what to say to him. How do you tell someone that?”

  Sam reached across the table and held her hand. “Listen, let’s do our Christmas shopping. Then we’ll go back to yours, make some dinner, and plan what you’ll say to Jack. Okay?”

  “Don’t you need to get back to the in-laws?”

  “My sister needs me at the moment.”

  “Thank you, Sammy; that sounds like a lovely idea. But just promise me one thing?”

  “What?”

  “You’ll let me cook!”

  Sam almost spat out her tea with laughter. “Fine – you can make the dinner; I’ll just supervise!”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Nausea churned in Verlaine’s stomach. Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas had just started up on the jukebox, but he actually felt sick because his guilt was rampaging at whom he was about to meet here. And not only that, he’d lied to Sam. He’d told her he’d gone back to the big house this evening while she had dinner at her sister’s, but really he was sitting in a London pub, knowing he was about to betray someone he cared about. Was this the right thing to do? Verlaine wasn’t sure. But it felt right, and surely that counted for something?

  The scale of this betrayal could cost him his job, his girl, and his life as he knew it. But he felt compelled…

  This seedy pub was practically empty. Verlaine was certain it’d been created for dirty liaisons like this one. The grubby landlord was standing behind the flaky wooden bar, reading a trashy tabloid, and keeping an eye on the shady-looking guys playing pool down the other end. Verlaine was used to working with greasy car parts, but this place felt inherently unclean. The smoking ban had been passed years ago in the UK, but there were still yellow nicotine stains smeared across the off-white ceiling, as well as ground-in burn marks on the ancient table.

  Verlaine glanced at his phone to check the time. Seven-thirty… any minute now.

  He swigged his beer – trying to avoid the lipstick stain on his glass – and stared at the door. It started to open. Verlaine braced himself, and in walked Jack looking tired and unshaven. Just as Verlaine would expect after his wife had so cruelly kicked him with no explanation.

  Verlaine stood up to greet him and they shook hands firmly. It was so different to the way he greeted Scott and Paul – never feeling embarrassed to hug them hello, even in public. But maybe not in a pub like this.

  “Hey, buddy,” he said.

  “Hey, Verlaine. I’ll just grab a beer.”

  “Sure.”

  Verlaine sat down and fiddled with his phone. How different this venue was to where he’d been last night. Had he really had sex in front of an audience; in the same room as Paul and Scott! Arousal surged through him at the memory. It was amazing fun. Very exciting and subversive, but also quite empowering. And not at all seedy.

  Jack was nothing like the people he’d met last night. He was a bloke. A working-class hero from Manchester, who was ashamed of the fact that he was a graphic designer by trade, when he should’ve been a builder like his dad. Verlaine knew how that felt; his dad probably would’ve been devastated if he’d decided to become a chartered accountant. Not that he could.

  Jack sat down.

  “How you holding up?” Verlaine asked.

  “I’ve been better, you know.”

  “You still driving up to Manchester tomorrow night to be with your parents?”

  “Yeah. I was hoping Gemma might contact me. I’ve wanted to call her so many times, but I don’t know what to say. I just wish she’d tell me what’s going on. I miss her so much.”

  “I know you do. Jack, and I’ve got something important that I need to tell you, but–”

  Verlaine’s phone rang. He grabbed it. “It’s Gemma’s landline – probably Sam. Do you mind if I take it?”

  “No problem – just leave me hanging in mid-air!”

  “Sorry, buddy.” Verlaine pressed the button to answer. “Hey, honey.”

  “Hi, baby! I’m just leaving Gemma’s in a minute.”

  “Okay.”

  “How are you? How are things back at the house? Have your parents mentioned the party yet?”

  “Er, no… Sam, I can’t lie to you. I’m with Jack. Don’t tell Gemma – she’ll kill me. If she’s with you, just talk as if I didn’t just say that.”

  “Um, okay. Well that sou
nds lovely. I’m glad everything’s okay. I know what you know, by the way.”

  “She told you?”

  “Absolutely – that sounds fine.”

  “Pretty messed up, huh? Did you two have a nice day together?”

  “We did! But I dropped my phone down the loo, can you believe it? That’s why I’m using Gemma’s phone.”

  “No way! Is it broke?”

  “Yeah, completely. Gemma’s lending me her old mobile, so if you get an unknown caller, it’s me! I’m going home now – are you coming soon? Nudge, nudge!”

  “Well, I hope so! Listen, why don’t you come to the Cross Keys in Camden? I’m sure Jack would like to see you. Then we can go home after that?”

  “Okay, that sounds great! I’ll see you in a bit!”

  “Alright, honey. See you then!”

  “I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  Verlaine grinned, then hung up. His Sam-induced joy dissipated as he caught Jack’s gruff expression.

  “Gemma doesn’t know you’re meeting me?”

  “No. I hope you don’t mind Sam joining us. You know how good she is to talk to. She’ll probably be able to help.”

  “Yeah, course. So what is it you wanted to tell me?”

  “Jack. I know what’s going on. Gemma told me.”

  Jack leaned forward. “Well, you’ve gotta tell me, Verlaine! What did I do? What have I done to upset her? How can I get her back?”

  “Look, if I tell you this, there’s a strong possibility Gemma will fire me. Although how you go about firing a dead man, I don’t know.”

  “Verlaine, just tell me. I won’t tell her that you told me.”

  The rowdy pool players at the other end of the pub cheered. Verlaine ignored them.

  “Look, Jack, this isn’t my business, but I feel I need to intervene. You’re my friend and Gemma’s practically my sister-in-law. I love you both and I want you to be happy.”

  “Right – that’s very nice, but just spit it out, will ya?”

  “The thing is, Gemma told me… the twins… they’re not yours.”

  Jack froze and stared at Verlaine for what felt like minutes. Then his expression slowly morphed into pain – as if Verlaine had slapped him. He glanced at his beer.

  “I’m sorry, Jack. Would-ya say something?”

  Jack shook his head. “Well, I had my suspicions.”

  “You knew?”

  “I suspected. Why does this keep happening to me, Verlaine? Is there something wrong with me?”

  “No, of course not. It was different with Helen, wasn’t it? You said she had no remorse. Gemma feels terrible about this whole situation.”

  Jack snorted. “I bet she does. God, don’t tell me it was that Rolls Royce dealer – Patrick Wass-his-name?”

  Verlaine nodded. “Gemma knows she’s made a huge mistake. She said she wants you two to get back together. She loves you. That’s the only reason I’m telling you. Because I want you two to get back together.”

  “I do, too, Verl! I love her so much.”

  “She feels the same, buddy.”

  Jack sipped his beer. “Cheating’s never okay, alright, but I have been working stupidly long hours recently. I’ve probably neglected her and… that Patrick’s a smarmy little bastard, isn’t he?”

  Verlaine smiled kindly. “I’ve always managed to resist him.”

  Jack scoffed. “Glad to hear it!”

  They shared a tender glance. Hope washed through Verlaine’s chest.

  “She does love you, Jack.”

  Jack nodded slowly. “So how can I get her back, then? Any ideas?”

  “You don’t mind raising the twins, even though they might not be yours?”

  “I’ve been thinking about this a lot. I guess it’s no different to me adopting them. I love her, Verlaine. You’re right – it was different with Helen; she was such a bitch. But Gemma… she’s the woman I wanna be with forever.”

  “You’re a good guy, Jack. How come you never approached Gemma with your suspicions?”

  “Christ, imagine if I’d been wrong and I asked her if she’d had an affair! My life wouldn’t be worth living!”

  “Well, this conversation never happened, or mine won’t be either.”

  “Yeah, don’t worry – your secret’s safe with me.”

  Jack took a long swig of his beer. Verlaine realised his hands were shaking.

  “You okay, buddy?”

  “No. Listen, I might just go out for a smoke – do you mind?”

  “Not at all. It’s a lot for you to digest.”

  “Thanks.” Jack pushed back his chair, grabbed his cigarettes from his coat pocket, then made his way out into the pouring rain for a nicotine fix to calm his nerves.

  Verlaine picked up his phone with the intention of calling his mom to see if she was okay, but his text message tone bleeped, so he pressed the screen to read it.

  It was from an unknown number, so it was likely to be Sam. He opened it up:

  ‘Hello my little Christmas elf. Would you like to know what I’ve got in my stockings for you?’

  Definitely from Sam, then!

  He grinned and composed his reply.

  ‘I sure would. Hurry up and get here so I can make passionate love to you. I’ve been thinking about you all day. I love you, you sexy woman!’

  He sent it and swigged his beer. The alcohol mixed with his lust, shooting a surge of desire straight to his cock and giving him an embarrassing bulge in his jeans. He leaned forward, hiding himself under the table – hoping those bozos at the pool table wouldn’t notice how desperate he was to make love to his girl.

  Another message came back. ‘I’m in London. Where are you?’

  Verlaine frowned. He’d already told Sam where he was. And he knew she was in London. He shrugged. Maybe it was all part of the game. He wrote back:

  ‘I’m waiting for you in the Cross Keys pub in Camden. I can’t wait to taste you in my mouth!’

  He sent it and smiled. She’d like that taste part – he knew how much she loved him to go down on her. His cock stiffened hungrily as he was assaulted with the image of Sam’s beautiful body and how much he wanted to fuck her.

  The next one came back: ‘You naughty elf! I’m in a taxi. I’ll be there as soon as I can. I’m dying to taste you too! And more!’

  Verlaine grinned. He’d promised his mom he’d drive back to the house tonight to see her, but if Sam wanted to go home and make love, then he was at her mercy. Her wishes took priority over anyone else in the world, including his own flesh and blood.

  The door creaked open, and Jack meandered back over, reeking of cigarettes. He flopped into the rickety chair.

  “Sam’ll be here soon,” Verlaine said. “She’s in a taxi; not sure why – I thought she had her car.”

  Jack shrugged. “It’s pissing down with rain out there. I wouldn’t recommend anyone driving in it. Maybe she’s left the car at my place… at Gemma’s.”

  “It’ll be your place again soon. Did you think about what you might say to your wife?”

  Jack sighed. “No idea. I wanna call her. Do you think I should wait until after Christmas? I assume you need your testicles until New Year?”

  Verlaine laughed. “Maybe you should just wait a couple of days to digest it all. You can decide what you wanna say and try to get it straight in your mind, so you don’t end up saying something you might regret.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. I am angry, and I’d hate to lose control of my mouth and call her a bad name. It wouldn’t help the situation.”

  A text came through, so Verlaine opened it. He grinned as he read it.

  ‘I’m getting wet standing by your T-bird. Are you coming? I can’t wait much longer!’

  Verlaine shot to his feet. “Jack, I’m sorry, but I’ve gotta go!”

  “Why? I thought Sam was meeting us.”

  “Yeah, well, I think she’s got other plans!”

  Verlaine leaned down and hugg
ed Jack tightly, which made him flinch. Then he headed towards the door, desperate to get to his beloved.

  He turned to face Jack. “Call me if you need me, seriously, okay?”

  “Yeah, thanks. Go and have a good time.”

  Verlaine shot Jack an affectionate smile, then he practically pulled the door off its hinges and ran out into the rain.

  Jack watched the door slam shut, wondering what that was all about. Obviously something to do with Sam. He loved his sister-in-law, but she could be so flighty – not like her level-headed sister, whom he adored to heaven and back. A numb cloud of misery suffocated him as he thought about his wife fucking another man. But at least now he knew the truth, which meant maybe they could try to fix it. He wondered whether their marriage could realistically recover from this. He cherished Gemma dearly, but it wasn’t okay that she’d cheated on him. Anger bubbled below the surface, but his love quickly burst up and extinguished the flames. Obviously they had a lot to talk about, and there were bound to be some nasty arguments ahead. But maybe they could resolve it. And maybe this would ultimately make them stronger.

  He was about to ask the landlord for another beer, when Sam burst in through the door, completely soaked from the rain.

  She shook herself off, then joined him at the table, throwing him a grin.

  “Hey, Jack. How are you?”

  “Surprised to see you. Verlaine said he was meeting you back at the car.”

  She frowned. “Did he?”

  “Yeah. He left in a hurry. Maybe you can catch him up.”

  “Oh. I’ll go and find him then. Thanks.”

  Sam leaned down and kissed Jack on the forehead, then she rushed back out the pub. Jack had a bad feeling about this, but there was nothing he could do about it now. And besides, he had enough problems of his own, so he ordered another drink, and got back to worrying about what he was going to say to Gemma when they next spoke.

  Chapter Fifteen

  The rain hammered down as Verlaine splashed through the puddles towards the T-bird. He’d parked it safely down a side-street near the pub to protect it from potential vandals or car thieves, so he was impressed Sam had found it in the dark and rain – her sense of direction wasn’t the best, bless her.