A Path Toward Love

by Cara Lynn James

  Mama came forward and gripped Katherine’s hands. “I’m so relieved to see you’re all right. But what were you thinking? Why did you not return as soon as you saw the storm brewing? Really, Katherine, I should think you’d be more prudent at your age.”

  Katherine winced, but she wasn’t willing to disagree with Mama in front of her friends. She wouldn’t defend herself and cause a beehive of gossip that might be repeated and enjoyed for weeks to come. “You’re right, Mama. I should’ve paid more attention to the weather.”

  Randy brushed a thin layer of mud from the bottom of his trousers and muttered, “If they hadn’t gone hiking, we could’ve returned before the rain started.”

  Mama blanched and focused her disapproval on Katherine, opening her mouth to speak, but then apparently thinking better of it. Several seconds passed in silence.

  Apparently Randy realized his mistake, because he tried to backtrack. “Actually it wasn’t their fault. No one knew it would rain.” But Katherine knew he couldn’t undo the damage.

  In a voice as hard and cold as an iceberg, Mama directed the threesome as if they were children once again. “All of you should change out of your wet clothes before you catch your death of cold.”

  Katherine strode toward her cabin, her head down. Once inside, she washed off the dirt with a quick sponge bath and donned a dry, moss green skirt and tailored shirtwaist, adding a cameo at the neck. Right when she thought she was free from threat of her mother’s wrath, Mama entered the cabin. She stood by the bed until Bridget—Aunt Letty’s maid—finished fashioning her damp hair into a simple chignon. The maid left quietly.

  “I’m very sorry to say you haven’t acquired a bit of common sense, my dear,” Mama said. “You’re as headstrong as ever. You still leap before you look.”

  Annoyance rose in Katherine’s chest. She stood up from the dressing table and faced her mother. “Really, Mama, anyone could get caught in a storm. But I’m sorry if I worried you.”

  “Yes, dear, you did worry me. But I’m even more concerned about you going for a hike with Andrew and leaving poor Randy behind. What’s gotten into you? If you’re going to entertain a gentleman, shouldn’t it be Randy Clarke? He is the most eligible and suitable gentleman you’ll ever meet.”

  “Oh, Mama. Andrew is only a friend! Randy did not wish to hike with us. We made it quite clear he was invited.” But her mother’s words echoed in her mind. If he were truly the most eligible bachelor in her life, then why couldn’t she think of Randy as a beau?

  He was an amiable fellow, but rather moody, either glowering or jolly—something that didn’t measure up to her vision of an ideal suitor, and especially not a husband. She’d lived with a man who could be either the center of every party or so depressed and angry she was afraid to be around him.

  “But Randy—” her mother began.

  “Mama, please. I just can’t think of Randy as a suitor. I know that displeases you . . . But how could I lead on such a dear friend when I know that it will only end, come fall?” She shook her head and stared out the window.

  Her mother sighed and then came over to rest her palm on Katherine’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, my dear. I’m so eager for you to find yourself again, now that your mourning is over.”

  My mourning is over . . . Then why did she feel so raw, like it had just begun again? Harriet . . .

  Mama raised a thin eyebrow. “Please remember my friends are watching everything you do. Impetuous behavior reflects poorly on you—and also on your papa and me.”

  Keep a civil tongue, Katherine. She’d not start any more arguments to drive a wedge between her and her mother. They’d fought mightily during her youth, and some of those harsh words still echoed through her mind. “Maybe you’re right, Mama. I’ll be more mindful of my reputation in the future.” It was much better to agree with Mama than argue with her, and she’d promised her father that she’d do as her mother asked this summer. But the conciliatory words nearly clogged Katherine’s throat, making her gag. She certainly sounded less sweet and compliant than she wanted.

  “Pay attention to my advice, dear. Guard your reputation.” Her mother’s words flowed like cream turned sour. “Pay more attention to Randy and a little less to Andrew.” She raised her small hands, shushing Katherine’s retort. “Andrew’s here to work for your father, not to play. So mind, don’t be a distraction to him.”

  Katherine nodded and held her breath, hoping the conversation was finished. But Mama was opening her mouth to say something more when Great Aunt Letty burst through the door.

  “Good afternoon, children.” Her head bobbed from Mama to Katherine, and her eyes sparkled.

  Katherine chomped down on her lower lip to keep from laughing. To Aunt Letty, she and Mama were both youngsters, and always would be.

  “My, it’s chilly,” Aunt Letty said, rubbing her arms. “That storm brought some cold air our way.” Letty threw a shawl around her rounded shoulders and scampered across the floor to light a fire. “That’ll feel better.”

  After she had the fire roaring, she tugged at Katherine’s sleeve with one blue-veined hand. “Katherine, if you’re not busy, perhaps you’d be so kind as to help me sort through some of my treasures. I simply must get rid of a few.” She sighed. “But it’s so hard to throw away my memories. Isabelle, would you mind if I steal some of Katherine’s time?”

  Mama flashed a disingenuous smile. “Actually, I was about to ask her to help entertain our guests. Perhaps later, Aunt.”

  Katherine shook her head and pushed back a giggle over Letty’s conspiratorial glance. “But, Mama, I thought you told Papa I should come and keep Aunt Letty company and assist her in any way I can. Might I not visit with your friends tomorrow?”

  Mama bristled, then excused herself and swept out the door.

  A gust of wind puffed through the screens. Aunt Letty hustled around the cabin and pulled down the windows, chattering every step of the way.

  “There. That’s so much cozier.” The fire crackled in the hearth. The yellow and orange flames leaped, sparks shooting upward. The smell of smoky wood assailed Katherine’s nostrils, reminding her of bonfires on the beach.

  Great Aunt Letty plopped in a wing chair by the fireplace and halfheartedly glanced through a box of loose photographs, yellowed from age and slightly faded. “Organizing all of these will be quite a task. Are you sure you’re up to it after your adventure?”

  “I am. If you’ll hand me a stack, I’ll sort them out.”

  They worked for the next half hour regrouping the photographs and adding them to a new album. Katherine recounted her escapade with Andrew and Randy, and how much she’d enjoyed herself, despite the incident with the falling tree.

  “Quite a close call, but how exciting.” Letty put the rest of the photographs in a large envelope. “There. We’ve accomplished quite a lot today, though it’s only a start. I think I’d like to embroider for a while. I find needlework very relaxing.” Aunt Letty reached down by the side of her chair and removed a white linen pillowcase. Despite a touch of arthritis, her fingers worked nimbly on a garland of butterflies, dragonflies, and ladybugs.

  “I must say, it feels so grand to be with you again, Aunt Letty. I looked forward to this time with you most of all.” Katherine took a seat on the overstuffed chair across from her and picked up an unadorned hat she’d bought during the stopover in New York yesterday. On the last leg of the journey north through the mountains, she began to decorate it for Aunt Letty. It was a small surprise gift Katherine hoped would nudge the dear old lady into the twentieth century. Perhaps it’d even convince her to give up her ancient bonnets, lined up in their shared dressing room on wire hat stands.

  Katherine sifted through the basket of silk marigolds, carnations, and daisies, along with ribbons, feathers, and beads that Bridget had unpacked. She selected sprigs of greenery, a few daisies, and a yellow ribbon to attach to the brim of the white straw hat. The bright colors would suit Aunt Letty well.

  �
��That’s lovely, Katherine. You have a real artistic flair.” Aunt Letty reached over and ran her fingers over the silk flowers.

  “Thank you. I love giving new life to my old hats. Sometimes I even buy new ones and decorate them myself.”

  “It’s splendid to have a hobby or two. I’ve always worked on my needlepoint and embroidery wherever I’ve traveled. Even when I didn’t enjoy the countries we visited, they seemed so much better when I had my needlework to keep me busy.” Aunt Letty peered over her rimless spectacles.

  “What places didn’t you like?” Katherine asked, with some surprise. Over the years, Aunt Letty always told tales of places she’d loved, countries she longed to return to. She didn’t remember any negative stories.

  “Let me see. When my husband took me down the Amazon River for our wedding trip, I thought I’d melt from the heat or much worse, I’d fall overboard and a caiman would eat me for dinner. All those snakes and mosquitoes! Oh, my dear, I was terrified.”

  Katherine glanced up from her daisies. “Why ever did he choose the Amazon?” Letty had spent most of her adult life traveling with her husband, who’d passed on a few years ago. The family considered her a harmless eccentric, but Katherine always looked forward to her visits, eager to hear her stories.

  Letty’s rheumy blue-gray eyes glistened. “We honeymooned in the Amazon because Norman wanted to. All those exotic birds and monkeys thrilled him. And I wanted him to think I was brave, so I pretended to be fearless. I couldn’t bear to see his disappointment if I asked to go home.”

  Katherine shook her head. “I’m afraid I couldn’t martyr myself.”

  Aunt Letty laughed. “After a while I adapted to the weather and the inconveniences so much that I almost enjoyed myself. At least I appreciated seeing an entirely new world. It was quite an experience for a girl of nineteen.”

  “I imagine so,” Katherine said.

  “Oh yes. Norman could have stuck me in a parlor serving tea and cake. But instead, I viewed the sphinx and the pyramids, and rode on a camel in Egypt. Once we traveled to India to visit the Taj Mahal. Thanks to Norman, I’ve had a most exciting life. I’m grateful for every moment of it.”

  “You are a fortunate woman,” Katherine admitted, feeling a pang of envy.

  “Yes, indeed. Sometimes places or trips that sound dreadful turn out to be magnificent, marvelous journeys we’ll always remember. Don’t ever be afraid of the unknown, dear girl, regardless of what the road looks like behind you.”

  Katherine bit back a grimace. She’d ventured into the unknown with Charles and it had proven the worst mistake in her life. “You know I’ve never dodged adventures, but I’ve found some territories are more dangerous than you can ever envision,” Katherine blurted.

  Letty searched Katherine’s face. “Whatever do you mean, my dear?”

  Katherine knew she shouldn’t make cryptic remarks that she didn’t wish to explain. “I’m only trying to be a bit more prudent than I used to be, to keep the peace with Mama, if nothing else.”

  The old lady laughed easily. “Your mother will appreciate that. But don’t lose your spirit or you’ll dry up way before your time.”

  Katherine rested her hat in her lap. “Do you think it’s a mistake to try to follow society’s standards?”

  “Follow the Lord’s guidance, not society’s.” Aunt Letty lowered her needlework to her lap and leaned forward. Her spectacles slid to the bottom of her nose, and she pushed them back. “I suspect the Lord wants you to dare to love, Katherine. Begin with that. It’s His desire for all of us.”

  Love. What did that mean? Katherine spoke slowly, her throat suddenly dry and dusty. “Love . . . as in marriage?” Was not her mother enough to handle on this front? She had to bear it from Aunt Letty too?

  “You’re so young and passionate I can’t imagine He wants you to remain a widow. But you’ll have to wait and see for yourself. All in good time. But do keep an open mind and an open heart.”

  “I’m afraid I wouldn’t recognize love if it slapped me in the face.” The words slipped out, and she couldn’t snatch them back.

  “Ah, so there’s the crux of it.” From the look in Aunt Letty’s eyes, she understood exactly what Katherine meant. “You’ll have to begin anew. Learn what it means to love,” Letty said gently. “That man you married clearly didn’t know what he had in you,” she added, shaking her finger at Katherine. “But true love of any kind involves giving. Without giving love yourself, you won’t recognize the genuine emotion when you receive it. You have to know the difference so you can avoid the counterfeit variety. I’m afraid there’s a lot of that around.”

  Katherine winced. With Charles, she’d encountered ardor without love, but she hadn’t discerned the difference until much too late. “You’ve given me a lot to consider.”

  Aunt Letty raised her crooked index finger. “And one more thing. We can learn about real love from the Lord—His unquenchable love for us. But to have a relationship with Him, we have to forgive our enemies. Forgive our hurts. We mustn’t hold grudges, though I’ll admit, it’s hard not to.”

  Nodding, Katherine couldn’t think of anyone she considered an enemy. Except Charles, long dead and gone, and Harriet. Guilt skittered across Katherine’s heart. She couldn’t forgive the woman who stole her husband and bore the son who should’ve been hers. Lord, help me to try.

  “Another thing—if you’ve offended anyone, ask for their forgiveness.”

  Katherine stifled a groan, wishing Aunt Letty would stop now. But her words brought Mama and Papa to mind. She’d hurt them terribly when she’d run off with Charles. To ask Mama for forgiveness would place her mother in a powerful position that she’d no doubt use to her advantage. Could she really bear to do that? Should she?

  “Take care of those things, then soak in God’s love, get down deep with it, and then you’ll be ready to understand the love between a man and a woman.”

  Putting the hat in her basket, Katherine nodded. “Andrew talked to me about the Lord when we hiked this afternoon, and God’s plan for my life.”

  Aunt Letty’s eyes sparkled. “Did he? Andrew is a good man to speak of spiritual things. Most gentlemen are only interested in parties and sports. You’re fortunate to have him as a close friend.”

  “I am, indeed.”

  Chapter Nine

  Katherine didn’t want to admit Aunt Letty was right about apologizing. Humbling herself might be biblical, but it would certainly hurt. The next day she braced herself as she scoured Birchwood Lodge for Mama and Papa. She could endure a blow to her pride to ensure peace, or at least a truce, between herself and her mother. It was the right thing to do. Wandering down the hallway near the main lounge, Katherine discovered them in Papa’s cramped office pouring over the household accounts. Mama stood behind him at his desk, glancing over his shoulder.

  A photograph of Papa proudly holding up a prize fish still hung on the pine-paneled wall beside an image of him as a young man toting a hunting rifle. Silver framed photographs of the family graced the desk crowded with papers, New York newspapers, magazines, and writing supplies needed by a businessman who brought his work wherever he went. All the things were in the same places as she remembered. Her parents glanced up and smiled.

  “Do come in and have a seat.” Papa waved her toward a hard wooden chair on the other side of the desk. “Can we help you with something or did you come to visit for a while?” He closed his ledger and leaned back in his swivel chair, ready to pay attention.

  Katherine swallowed her reluctance and forced herself to speak the necessary words. “I want to thank you both for forgiving me after I eloped with Charles. I knew you distrusted him. But I thought you didn’t accept him because he wasn’t of New York society and you didn’t know his family.” Katherine gave a wry smile. “As it turns out, his father was a delightful gentleman who treated me as if I were a queen. Unfortunately, his son did not.” Her voice snagged over the last few words.

  She paused and glance
d from Papa to Mama. Mama’s fleeting look of triumph was clear and expected.

  But Papa’s brows furrowed. He obviously found no satisfaction in having been right. She knew he’d feel only sympathy for her. “I’m so sorry, princess. I’d hoped—we both hoped— that we’d misjudged Charles. We wanted your happiness more than anything.”

  Katherine nodded. “You and Mama saw through his facade to his true character. I didn’t. His charm blinded me.” Sucking in a deep breath, she glanced from one parent to the other. “I’m very sorry I put you through so much anxiety and embarrassment. In the future I promise to act with far more caution.”

  Light on his feet for a heavyset man, Papa rounded the desk and pulled Katherine into a tight embrace. “You know we forgave you years ago.”

  “Yes, but I’d never apologized. I wanted you to know I’m terribly sorry, and I love you both with all my heart.”

  Tears glistened in the corners of Mama’s eyes, but she sniffed them back, reluctant to show sentimentality. “It’s so gratifying to hear you admit your mistake. Now that you’re a grown woman I hope you’ve learned that listening to us will keep you out of trouble. We’ll never lead you astray.” She patted her daughter’s hand.

  Katherine forced a nod. Mama meant well, but would she try to lead her down the wrong road? This time she’d continue to pray for guidance and keep Him at the center of her life. Until she understood exactly what He had in mind, she wouldn’t cross Mama. But if His will clashed with her mother’s, then Katherine knew Whom she’d have to follow.

  Mama squeezed her arm. “I can spot a scoundrel from miles away, even when you can’t. I also know who’s likely to bring you happiness. You can trust my judgment.”

  Gulping down her objections, Katherine stepped back and stared at her mother’s smug expression. A frisson of disappointment and self-doubt twirled around Katherine’s spine. Maybe Mama was right; maybe her judgment hadn’t improved over the years. Maybe she’d always make impulsive mistakes unless she heeded her mother’s counsel.