A Path Toward Love

by Cara Lynn James

  She scanned the paper and nodded. “Thank you, Andrew.”

  “You’re most welcome. But before you leave, I’d like to say I’m planning to go with you tomorrow. You might find Harriet more difficult than you expect. I want to be available if I’m needed. Don’t say no, Katherine. I insist on coming. I promise I’ll stay out of your way. I won’t go inside the inn while you’re speaking to Harriet. You can simply fetch me if you’re in need.”

  She smiled and pressed his hand. “That’s very kind of you, but Papa won’t allow it when you’re supposed to be working. I can handle this myself. Please don’t worry about me.” Katherine shook her head. “We can’t both be gone at the same time without drawing attention to ourselves. Mama is keeping such close tabs on me—on both of us—I don’t want to chance it. I don’t wish to create a scene.” She glanced toward the door, her brows drawn together. “I must be going.” Grasping his hand, she squeezed it tightly.

  But he held on when she tried to leave. She paused, confused, and then turned to him, a question in her beautiful eyes.

  “Wait, just a moment. I have something to say, and it can’t wait any longer.”

  “All right,” she said slowly.

  He brought his other hand up to cover hers. “Katherine, I’m in love with you. I think I’ve always been in love with you. But since we reunited”—he shook his head—“it’s unavoidable. I love you. And I believe you love me.”

  Her forehead creased. “I love you too,” she whispered, seeming dazed. “But it will come to nothing, so we shouldn’t speak of it. I’m so sorry, Andrew. I wish things were different, but they aren’t. We have to be realistic.”

  He stared at her. He loved her and she loved him, and yet they were to turn away? The combined frustration of the last month and a half pounded in his head. “No, Katherine! We can overcome any barrier, as long as we tackle it together. Katherine, listen to me. I love you with all my being and I want to be with you. Please. Marry me.” His heartbeat thundered in his ears as he watched her expression change from fleeing joy to desolation.

  “We cannot,” she said, her voice echoing with ache. “You know all the reasons why. You must believe me when I say I’ve never been so sorry about anything in my life.” She reached up and brushed her lips against his cheek. For a moment, she paused as if she’d lift her head and meet his mouth with her soft, sweet lips.

  But instead she gently spun around and swept out of the library, leaving him bereft in the dark, silent room without even a fire to cheer him.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  At nine o’clock the next morning, Katherine dressed in a plain cocoa brown skirt and a cream-colored shirtwaist, and donned a straw boater with a brown band around the crown. She glanced in the mirror above her dressing table. Finding a young woman staring back at her with anxious eyes, she breathed a deep sigh. She looked exhausted. All night she’d replayed Andrew’s declaration in her mind. But at least she appeared presentable. It was time to go.

  She opened her cabin door to find her mother striding down the walkway toward the cabin. Katherine’s insides twisted. “Good morning, Mama.”

  Nodding a greeting, her mother halted. “I came to remind you we’re all off to a short shopping trip to town.” Mama’s lips pursed. “You are planning on coming, aren’t you?”

  Katherine nodded. “Of course. I’ll get my shawl.” Perfect. She’d stop off at the bank and withdraw the money for Harriet.

  Mama’s eyes narrowed with suspicion, causing perspiration to seep through Katherine’s tight collar. “Why are you carrying a satchel? Where were you planning to go?”

  “There’s some business I need to attend to.” She angled her gaze away from Mama’s probing stare.

  “Oh, you mean your orange groves, don’t you? I daresay you’ll be so much happier with that weight off your shoulders. Now that you and Randy are keeping company, I’m sure you’ll soon be ready to sell to Mr. Osborne. Have you written to him yet? Papa said he seemed anxious to hear from you. You really ought to get your business affairs settled.”

  “No, I haven’t written, but I’m sure it will all be resolved soon.” Katherine smiled sweetly and then stepped into the cabin for her shawl. Shoving the satchel into the chest of drawers, she thrust her hand over her heart and waited for it to calm. Now was not the time to tell Mama about the financial agreement with Harriet; she’d tell her later, when Mama wasn’t in a contentious mood.

  “Don’t tarry, dear.” Mama pulled open the door and poked her head inside. “It’s rude to keep others waiting.”

  Katherine nodded. Harriet Roles would have to wait until later.

  “Andrew, I have news for you.” Mr. Wainwright grinned as he strode into the room, but his cheerfulness seemed forced.

  “Yes, sir.” A feeling of foreboding alerted him. Andrew straightened and met Mr. Wainwright’s gaze directly.

  He took his seat across from him on a comfortable leather chair. “I’d like you to leave for California today. I know this is short notice, and I apologize for the inconvenience. But I’ve heard we have some additional competition on that California trunk line. It seems the line is more popular than I’d imagined. This new group is a really aggressive bunch of investors. I’m hoping this is merely a rumor, but I need you to be there so we’ll be among the first to make an offer when the owners return. We can’t pass up this opportunity.”

  Shocked at the sudden change of plans, Andrew leaned back in his chair and tried to process the news. “When does my train leave?”

  “In two hours. I’ll have my valet pack for you so you’ll be ready on time. How does this change of plans strike you?”

  “Fine, sir,” he said numbly. He’d have to say good-bye to Katherine before he left. Desolation filled him at the thought. Yet she’d turned him aside for his cousin, so there was nothing to keep him here any longer. She’d have to see through her negotiation with Harriet on her own. In fact, it might be less painful for him to leave today than to linger here and watch Randy and Katherine together, pretending a love that didn’t exist.

  Mr. Wainwright crossed his arms over his barrel chest and beamed. “Perhaps you should wind up what you’re doing here.”

  Andrew nodded, excused himself, and went to his bedroom to prepare for his departure. He wished he could rewrite the ending to his summer in a much different way. But despite his hopes, winning Katherine’s hand had been a futile dream, right from the start. His folly—to sweep the girl off her feet and attain the approval of her parents . . .

  His mouth twisted in a grimace. He’d always known better.

  When the ladies returned from town, Katherine hurried off to her cabin before Mama could bully her into an afternoon filled with social activities. She grabbed her satchel and glanced at Aunt Letty.

  “In case Mama comes looking for me, I’ll be back in a few hours.”

  Aunt Letty looked up from the album she’d just opened. “Oh, of course, dear.”

  She turned her attention back to the pictures with a wistful smile, and Katherine paused a moment. Would she ever have albums full of memories she could look upon fondly? “Enjoy yourself, Aunt. I’ll see you at tea.”

  Katherine stepped outside her cabin and quickly searched the area for Mama. Finding herself alone, Katherine darted across the yard toward the boats. She tossed her satchel into the rowboat, pushed it off the shore, and boarded.

  Sunshine beat down upon her, but a mild breeze kept her comfortable. A gull swooped toward the water; a family of mallards swam by; a canoe crossed her path. A lovely day, but she couldn’t enjoy the outdoors when Harriet, Charles, and Zeke were on her mind. The short trip to the Wayside seemed to stretch on and on. She finally reached the beach, disembarked, and strode toward the inn, satchel in hand.

  Katherine found Harriet sitting on the porch facing the lake. Anxiety distorted her sculptured features as she rose heavily from the rocker.

  “Hello, Mrs. Osborne. I think we should go to my room and talk.”
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br />   Katherine nodded and followed Charles’s mistress inside, through a spacious center hallway with a reception desk, and up a steep flight of stairs. At the landing they turned right and strode past several closed doors before Harriet paused. “This is my room.” She unlocked the door and pushed it open. “We’ll be alone. Zeke is playing in the game room with another little boy.”

  The tiny space with its twin beds and dresser looked clean and cheerful with the early afternoon light pouring through the windows. Katherine removed the agreement from her satchel and handed it to Harriet. Taking several seconds to read the terms, Harriet finally nodded. “Thank you.”

  Relief flowed through Katherine, draining some of the tension that tightened her muscles and left her nauseous.

  “It’s not exactly what I asked for, but I’m grateful for your provision. When you left yesterday I realized I wasn’t very gracious or thankful. I must’ve sounded dreadfully demanding. I’m sorry. I can see there are things I didn’t know. Charles never told me he lost most of his fortune and yours. I thought he was still a rich man when he died, so of course I assumed you’d have plenty of money to help with his son. We’re in such dire straits.” Harriet’s voice cracked. “All this money comes from you, doesn’t it?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m much obliged.”

  Katherine cleared the emotion from her throat. “Shall we have this agreement witnessed?”

  “Yes, of course. I’m sure the innkeeper and his wife will be glad to help.”

  Five minutes later the paper was signed and the cash exchanged.

  “Thank you again, Mrs. Osborne.”

  Katherine strolled toward the back porch, ready to leave this behind. But at the steps leading across the lawn to the shore, she paused and met Harriet’s steady gaze. Before she thought twice, Katherine drew out the question she’d locked inside ever since she learned of Charles’s deceit. “Please, tell me why it happened.” Her voice was so low she wondered if Harriet heard her, but the young woman startled and then nodded.

  “Let’s sit at the end of the porch where we won’t be disturbed.”

  The long open veranda was empty except for an old couple bundled up near the back door and rocking gently in squeaky rocking chairs. Katherine followed Harriet. They strode to the end of the long porch and sat side by side in matching wicker chairs.

  Harriet buried her head in her hands for what seemed like an eternity. When she looked up, her eyes pleaded for compassion. “I know I deceived you, but I was Charles’s mistress before he met you. And also later, after your marriage. I’m so sorry, Mrs. Osborne. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. I loved Charles and he was all that mattered to me until Zeke came along. Then I fought to make us a family.” Tears trailed down Harriet’s cheeks. Fumbling in her pocket for a handkerchief, she sniffed back more.

  Katherine felt perspiration soak the tight collar of her shirtwaist and spread into her neck and face. Her heart thumped so loudly she barely heard Harriet’s words.

  “I met Charles during the summer while he was home from college. We immediately fell deeply in love and he wanted to marry me. I knew his father would never allow him to marry a nanny without money or good family background. But he couldn’t see why the difference in our social positions should keep us apart.” Harriet sighed. “I believed Charles when he said he didn’t care for society’s opinions one little bit. He promised to marry me regardless of his father’s objections, regardless of how his friends received me. And I trusted him. He was so sincere.”

  Katherine watched Harriet’s wet cheeks flush with redness. Sympathy stirred at the center of Katherine’s heart, despite the discomfort of hearing about Charles’s hidden past and the dislike she felt toward her.

  “Just before he returned to college in New York he told his father of our plans to marry. Old Mr. Osborne threatened to disinherit him if he didn’t give me up. I was stunned when he caved in to his father’s demands. I was so sure of Charles’s love and loyalty. But at the end of the summer, he returned to Columbia and I didn’t hear from him again.”

  “But you must have,” Katherine murmured, her voice hinting at a bitterness she didn’t want to feel or express. If only Charles’s affair had ended at this point, their marriage might have stood at least a small chance of succeeding.

  Harriet nodded. Her face blazed with what Katherine assumed was shame. “Did you tell Charles about your baby?” Katherine asked.

  “Yes. Soon after he left for college I discovered I was carrying his child. I wrote to him and explained my situation, hoping he’d change his mind and marry me.” Harriet took a deep breath. “Charles answered my letter several months later. He said he’d met a young lady and he hoped to marry her after graduation.”

  “Me,” Katherine said.

  Harriet nodded. “I believe so.”

  Katherine closed her eyes, barely able to absorb everything Harriet was saying. Charles had withheld so much. He’d never even mentioned a past relationship in Florida, let alone a child.

  “Charles said our relationship was over. Of course I lost my governess position when my condition became obvious. That spring I gave birth to Zeke. Charles Ezekiel Roles. He didn’t even have Charles’s last name.” Harriet looked down at her clasped hands. When she finally looked up, her eyes were rimmed with red. “I was alone and desperate, so I took a job as a maid at a boardinghouse in Florida. The owner let me keep Zeke. But some of the boarders complained about a baby crying all hours of the day and night, so my employer asked me to leave.”

  “Couldn’t you have gone to your relatives in New York?” Katherine asked.

  “Yes, but they didn’t want me to come back with a baby. That’s when I contacted Charles again. At first he refused to help, but eventually he softened. He was taken with baby Zeke, even though he fought it. He started coming around to see him. Then his visits became more frequent until—until he apologized for how dreadfully he treated me. I’m sorry to say this, but I was happy to have him in my life again. We resumed our . . . relationship.” Looking down at her hands, Harriet blew out a weary sigh. “I should’ve tossed him out, but my anger vanished with a few kind words. I had no strength to fight my feelings. I was weak and so hopeful he’d come back to me.”

  Katherine’s eyes widened. “But he’d married me.”

  “Yes, he had. Not because he—” Harriet stopped and blushed a fiery crimson. “I mean . . .”

  Katherine shook her head. “I know exactly what you mean. Charles didn’t love me. He only married me because his father found me acceptable. I was a suitable match and it was time for him to marry.” Harriet started to disagree, but Katherine shook her head. “Please don’t try to spare my feelings. My husband cared for me for only a short time. He obeyed his father and not his heart.” That was the sad truth. Look what misery it had brought all of them. “Do continue.”

  Harriet nodded. “I had no right to love Charles, but I did, just the same. He was a weak man—an adulterer. Not that I was any different.” Harriet’s voice shook.

  “Did he take care of you and Zeke from then on?” Katherine could hardly believe all this happened practically in front of her and she hadn’t seen it.

  “Yes. He rented a small place in Brooksville for Zeke and me.”

  “And that’s where Charles spent all his time,” Katherine murmured.

  Harriet flinched. “Yes. I’m truly sorry, Mrs. Osborne.”

  Katherine met her gaze. “I can’t pretend you didn’t ruin my marriage, but . . . I do forgive you.” She never envisioned saying those words to Harriet. But she actually meant them.

  “Thank you,” Harriet whispered.

  “You ought to ask the Lord to forgive you as well.” As she said it, the heavy burden of grief slowly lifted from Katherine’s heart. It was almost physical.

  “I will. Thank you for being a true Christian. I never expected to be treated with such grace.” Harriet blinked rapidly. “Perhaps I have no right to say this, but I always felt Cha
rles and I were meant to be together—legally, as man and wife. But he feared his father would disinherit him. And in the end, Charles valued society’s standards too.”

  Katherine nodded. It was an all-too-familiar story. Look at the misery it caused. Charles should’ve married Harriet and not worried about the opinions of others. Instead, he married a woman suitable to everyone but himself, and in turn, hurt them all. “Sometimes those outside forces keep us from the person we love, the one we should marry,” Katherine murmured.

  Her heart jolted. Only her mother’s snobbish disapproval kept her from marrying Andrew. Certainly they had enough love to bring each other true happiness. Only social conventions kept them apart. God had blessed her with a second chance, one she didn’t deserve. Yet she’d firmly rejected it because she hadn’t understood what He was telling her.

  She could follow her heart without Mama’s approval. But she had to take a risk. Could she muster the courage to defy her parents?

  Katherine rose from the table, her mind alive with rekindled hopes, her heart thundering. If she took a chance on love this time, at least she knew she’d prayed for guidance and God had answered. She knew He blessed her love for Andrew, and his for her. It’s the path I’ve been looking for, praying for, she thought, eyes wide.

  But was it fair to ask him to give up his job for her? He’d worked so hard, and he was in line for advancement. Papa was a kind and generous employer, probably rather rare in the business world. But Andrew had already proposed to her, so he must be willing to start over somewhere else. No one in New York City would hire him once they learned he’d married William Wainwright’s daughter against his wishes. They’d have to leave the area and find someplace else.

  So be it.

  She’d confess her love to Andrew and allow him to decide his—their—future.

  Rising on wobbly legs, Katherine smiled tentatively at Harriet. “Good day, Miss Roles. And God bless you and Zeke. Thank you for telling me your story.”