by Susan Stoker
“I know,” Penelope sighed, “and I appreciate it. It’s enough that you get my pizza order moved to the top of the line nowadays.”
The two women shared a laugh again before they were interrupted by the medic. He held out a clipboard with a piece of paper on it. “I hate to interrupt, but we’ve got to get going. I still do highly recommend you being checked out by your doctor. Since you’ve told us you don’t want to be transported, please sign this form saying that you won’t hold the ambulance company responsible for any repercussions of not being taken to the hospital.”
Beth reached out, took the clipboard and balanced it on her knees, without letting go of Penelope’s hand. She signed the form and handed it back to the medic. “Thanks. I appreciate your help. I promise if I start feeling bad, I’ll get in touch with my doctor.”
The man left and Penelope turned to Beth. “If you need to go, just call me. You know I’ll go with you.”
“I know you will, and I appreciate it.”
“You’re okay for now? You don’t need anything? You been to the store lately?”
Cade was riveted by the back and forth between his sister and Beth. There used to be a time when Penelope told him everything going on in her life. While she’d mentioned her friend with agoraphobia, she’d never said anything about visiting her, or otherwise helping her in any way.
“There’s this thing called the Internet, Pen…you might have heard of it?”
Penelope laughed. “Okay, but I know it’s hard to get fresh fruit and stuff on Amazon. I know you’ve done the delivery thing a few times from the grocery store, but most of the fruit was on the verge of going bad. Just call me and we’ll go one night when I get off shift.”
“I appreciate it. Thanks.”
“No problem.”
Penelope stood up after hugging her friend, and headed for the door. “Come on, bro, get the lead out…I think it’s your turn to make lunch.”
Cade hesitated before following his sister. He looked at Beth. She was still standing by her couch. She was looking uneasy and nervous again, and he hated that. This was a woman who he could easily see laughing and smiling. Who should be laughing and smiling. He’d gotten a glimpse of it with her interaction with Penelope—and he liked what he’d seen.
He took a step toward her, unconsciously wanting to be closer. “You’re sure you’re all right? Can I do anything for you?”
Beth studied him for a moment, then glanced over to her kitchen and gestured toward it with her head. “Is there an easy way to clean that up?”
Glad she hadn’t immediately blown him off, Cade smiled. “Well, you can probably do an Internet search and get your answer before I can fully explain it, but generally you’ll want to vacuum up as much of the powder as you can. Make sure you clean the metal surfaces first—those chemicals can be corrosive.”
“Do I need special things to clean it with?”
Cade shrugged. “Probably, if you want to do it right.”
Her shoulders slumped just a bit, but she recovered quickly. “Okay, I’ll see what I can find online and I’ll order whatever I need. Thanks.”
“I can come back later, help repair your door, and bring you some special stuff we’ve got at the station…if you want.” Cade hadn’t known he was going to offer until the words had left his mouth. But he wasn’t sorry.
Beth fidgeted and bit her lip. Finally, she agreed shyly. “Okay, if you’re sure. I’d appreciate it. It’ll take a few days for the stuff I need to get here if I order it. But only if you don’t mind.”
“I don’t mind.” Cade wasn’t sure why he was so pleased. He’d pretty much talked himself out of even thinking about Beth as someone he should be interested in before his sister came into the room. Now here he was, inviting himself over and feeling happy she’d accepted. He mentally shrugged. Oh well, if nothing else he was doing his sister’s friend a favor. It was the humane thing to do.
“Then thank you. Whenever you get here is fine.”
“I’m off around nine, is that too late?”
“No. I don’t sleep much and get most of my work done at night anyway, so that’s perfect.”
Not commenting on her not sleeping well, but for some reason wanting to, Cade agreed. “Great. I can see if Penelope can come too, if you’d feel more comfortable.”
“No,” Beth refused immediately. “She doesn’t like going out at night. But if you’re Pen’s brother, then you get a free pass on the trust front.”
Cade had forgotten that about his sister. Penelope always put on a brave face, but she’d told him once that because of everything that had happened to her in the Middle East, she’d started sleeping with a light on. He should’ve put two and two together, but hadn’t.
He smiled. “Okay, I’ll see you later then.”
“Bye.”
Cade shut the door behind him and jogged to the fire truck and his friends, who were waiting for him. For the first time in a long time, something other than work was heavy on his mind.
After taking his turn making lunch, he would get online and research agoraphobia. If he was going to spend time with Beth, he didn’t want to do or say anything that would make her feel uncomfortable.
CHAPTER 2
“Tell me about Beth,” Cade ordered his sister as they settled in the breakroom after lunch. The other crew members had scattered across the fire station. Crash and Squirrel were throwing a football out in front of the station. Chief and Taco were working out in the weight room, and Driftwood and Moose were in the kitchen getting dinner prepped and arguing about who was a better cook.
He couldn’t help but be fascinated by his sister’s friend. He’d heard about her, but when he’d looked into her frightened eyes he’d been struck by how pretty she was. It wasn’t as if Pen would wax poetic about her friend’s looks, but he’d been surprised all the same. She was fairly tall, only a few inches shorter than he was. He liked that. He also liked her long hair. It was probably hard, if not impossible, for her to get to a salon, but he was grateful she hadn’t cut it. The long brown strands hung down her chest, hiding the curves of her breasts while at the same time highlighting them. Her big brown eyes looked at him as if they held deep dark secrets, and only made Cade want to slay all her dragons for her.
Her nose had a slight bump in the middle, as if it’d been broken at some point. She’d worn small hoops in her pierced ears and her lips were full and lush. She’d bitten her lip when she’d talked to him and he imagined taking it between his own lips and caressing away any small hurt she gave herself. She had straight white teeth and a tendency to shift nervously in front of him as she spoke to him.
All in all, she was a mixture of bravado and vulnerability, and totally his type.
Penelope looked at her brother with sad eyes. “She’s amazing. I have no idea how she’s been able to cope with everything she’s gone through and still be as sweet and as put-together as she is. Before I started helping her, she was living through the Internet. By that I mean, everything she ate, wore, or needed to live, she got through ordering it online.”
There was a lot there that Cade wanted more information about, but he concentrated on the thing that was bothering him the most. “Everything she went through?”
His sister’s voice softened. “Yeah. What happened to me was tough…but what she experienced made my three months in captivity look like a walk in the park.”
Cade ran his hand over his short brown hair in agitation. He knew he didn’t want to hear it, but he also needed to hear it. “She was raped.” It wasn’t a question.
“Yeah. And choked. And burned with cigarettes. And stabbed.”
“Jesus.”
Penelope went on as if Cade hadn’t spoken. “She was kidnapped by a serial killer out in California a few years ago. She was minding her own business, going back to her car after shopping at Walmart. He nabbed her and brought her to a cabin in the woods.”
“What did he want?”
“Besides t
he obvious? From what she told our therapy group, strangely enough, he didn’t care about her, per se. He just needed a warm body. He was torturing another woman who he’d already snatched away from her workplace. He didn’t even really look at Beth while he was hurting her…he was watching this other woman, telling her that everything he was doing to Beth, he was going to do to her next.”
Cade couldn’t sit anymore. He got to his feet and paced in front of Penelope, trying to control the anger and frustration that were coursing through his veins. “She got away, obviously. How?”
Penelope shrugged. “Beth said the boyfriend of the other woman and his SEAL team arrived and killed the guy.”
“Good. And the agoraphobia?”
“Cade, this really isn’t my story to tell,” Penelope protested, a bit too late. “I know I’ve already told you too much.”
He’d been expecting that, but was pleasantly surprised at how much Penelope had shared before she’d balked, and didn’t give her too much shit. “Just one more question, and I’ll stop. You go over and help her? How?”
Penelope was silent for a moment, obviously thinking through what she wanted to say. Finally, she told him, “She’s scared to be outside, but she doesn’t have a typical case of agoraphobia…I don’t think. I admit I don’t know a whole lot about it; just what she’s shared with me and the group. I don’t know how she was before we met, but she can go places and do stuff, at least now, but she has to be with someone she trusts. She just can’t do it on her own. I go with her. We go to the grocery store, the mall, things like that. Never Walmart, that’s a big trigger for her. She has to have physical contact with me while we’re out. But she can do it. She acts like it’s no big deal…but it’s obvious it’s tough for her.”
“The hand-holding,” Cade said in understanding.
“Yeah. She was self-conscious at first, but I don’t give a shit, and I told her so. I think she’s embarrassed about holding hands but she was taken so randomly before. She figures if it happened to her once, completely out of the blue, it could happen again, even if statistically it’s practically impossible.”
“So there’s safety in numbers.”
Penelope nodded. “Something like that, I think.”
Cade sat back down next to his sister and angled his body on the couch so he was facing her. He didn’t want to pry into Beth’s background too much; for some reason, he wanted her to open up and talk to him herself. He was interested. Way interested. It was too much too soon, but the little voice inside wouldn’t let him blow off the strong woman he’d met that day.
At the moment, however, Cade had something else to address before the others interrupted them. “So…how are you holding up?”
“I’m good.” Penelope’s answer was immediate—and expected. Except Cade didn’t believe it for a second.
“The lights?”
Penelope swore under her breath. “I guess if I’m telling her secrets, it’s only fair if mine come up too, huh?”
“I told her I’d come over tonight and help her clean up the mess we made. I asked if she’d rather have you come with me to make her feel more comfortable, and she said you preferred not to go out at night.”
“It’s fine, Cade. I’m handling it.”
“Handling what?” Moose asked as he strode into the room.
“Nothing,” Penelope insisted quickly, not looking at either of the men. She got up and headed into the kitchen.
“What’d I miss?” the other firefighter asked.
Cade shook his head and shrugged.
“If there’s anything I can do for your sister, you’d tell me, right? I worry about her.”
Cade looked at Tucker “Moose” Jacobs. He knew a lot of guys worried about their friends dating their sister, but Cade didn’t give a shit about that. He’d love it if Penelope fell in love with one of the guys at the station. He knew his close circle of friends as if they’d grown up together, trusted them all, and they were all absolutely stand-up men. He could see her with someone like Taco or Driftwood, because they were as intense as she was and loved their job almost as much as Penelope did.
But now that he thought about it…Moose was perfect for his sister. He was a big man, almost a foot taller than Penelope, and he watched over her on calls almost as much as Cade did. He thought there might be something between them, but he wasn’t going to play matchmaker. Moose was on his own.
“I think we all just have to be patient with her. She’s doing great at dealing with what happened to her, but it’s going to take time.”
“You’d tell me though? If there’s anything she needs?”
“I’d tell you.”
“Thanks. I…she means a lot to me.”
Cade opened his mouth to say something, but the tones of dispatch rang loudly through the room and both men were moving before the dispatcher started reading off the address of the person needing assistance. All thoughts of Beth and Penelope dealing with the shit life had thrown their way were sidelined as the men headed to the locker room to put on their bunker gear and head out to the fire truck.
* * *
“Hey, Mom, I wanted to call and let you know that I screwed up your fried chicken recipe big time today.”
“What happened?” Mary Parkins asked in a tone that never failed to soothe Beth. She missed her mom so much.
“I think I let the oil sit on the burner too long.”
“Ouch. Let me guess…you saw flames?”
Beth shivered, remembering how fascinating the fire had been as it exploded upward, looking for something to feed it.
“Yeah, that’s an understatement. I had to call the fire department.”
“Bethy…and did you have an…episode?”
“No, Mom. Luckily they arrived quickly and put it out so I didn’t have to leave the apartment.”
“I worry about you.”
“I know. And I appreciate it. But I’m working on it. I like my therapy group, and it’s great that they let me telecommute via computer. Oh! And one of the firefighters was Penelope from my group.”
“The Army Princess?”
Beth rolled her eyes in solidarity for her friend. Penelope hated that nickname and it didn’t fit the woman Beth had come to know at all. She might look like a princess…she was tiny and beautiful with her blonde hair and thin stature, but now that Beth knew her personally, she was about as far from a princess as a woman could get. “Yeah, Penelope is awesome. Remember that interview she gave Barbara Walters—where she didn’t cry? She’s tough as nails…even Barbara couldn’t break her.” They both laughed, and Beth continued. “She’s strong, but she’s hiding a lot of pain.”
“Takes one to know one, doesn’t it, honey?”
Beth bit her lip. “Yeah, Mom. It does. Are you guys going to be able to come out and visit anytime soon?” Beth wished all the time that she was able to function more normally, especially when it came to her family. She would’ve loved to have hopped on a plane to visit her parents or her brother, but instead she had to rely on them to take the time off and fit it into their schedules to come see her.
“Unfortunately, your father just started a new project. They wanted him to be the foreman in charge on the site.”
Beth knew her dad loved construction. He’d started off as a teenager working for a friend, and had worked his way up to being in charge of a team of men that numbered into the hundreds. She was extremely proud of him. “That’s great! I know he’s thrilled. And it’s okay. I understand. Give him my love.”
“You know I will.”
“Now, walk me through the fried chicken steps again. I’m determined to win this time.”
Beth spent the next thirty minutes talking with her mom and relaxing from her stressful day.
Hours later, she paced her small living room, all relaxed from her conversation with her mom gone. It was ten o’clock and she was expecting Penelope’s brother to knock on her door at any moment. Why in the hell she’d agreed to have him come back a
nd help her clean up, she didn’t know.
Well, she did…a moment of weakness.
Penelope was her best friend, her only friend here in San Antonio, and she trusted her without reservation. The only reason she’d been able to have a somewhat normal life was because of Pen. Beth had made it to one group therapy session in person, incorrectly thinking that once she’d arrived, she’d be fine. Epic fail on that. She’d completely flipped out when she was supposed to leave and, at the advice of the psychologist who led the group sessions, Penelope had taken hold of her hand until she’d felt stronger.
After hearing that Penelope was nervous to head to her car in the dark alone, Beth felt better about her panic attack. It probably wasn’t very charitable of her, but it made her feel not quite so alone in her moments of freak-out. If someone as strong as Penelope had phobias, then maybe Beth wasn’t as much of an oddity as she felt.
Pen had been the one to suggest that she attend the therapy sessions remotely, and after only a few months, Beth was feeling better. She still couldn’t venture out of her apartment by herself without breaking down, but she could make it through a trip to the store as long as Penelope was with her.
Maybe her trust in Cade—she couldn’t see herself ever calling him Sledge; the name was ridiculous—was just because he was related to Penelope. Maybe it was because he was the best-looking man she’d seen in a long time. He had brown hair much like hers, which fell a bit long over his brow, and light gray eyes. When she’d seen him earlier he’d had a five o’clock shadow, which looked good on him. He was taller than she was, and built. She’d always been attracted to muscular men, and Cade certainly fit that bill.
Maybe it was because he was the first man she’d been attracted to since…it happened. Hell, maybe it was the uniform. Whatever it was, allowing him to come over and help her clean up her kitchen seemed like the right decision earlier today, but now Beth was second-guessing herself.
Penelope was bound to tell her brother about her, what had happened, and that was beyond embarrassing. After learning about her background, Cade would probably show up out of pity rather than anything else. And there was nothing she liked less than people pitying her.
