Shelter for Elizabeth (Badge of Honor: Texas Heroes Book 5)

by Susan Stoker

  Looking around, and seeing no one in the dark blackness in the middle of the night, Beth took a step toward the grill, then another. She’d had to light it, so it wasn’t as if she hadn’t been out this far, but this felt different. The flames mesmerized her and made her feel so much more in control. She decided when they’d stop. The control was heady.

  She poured a bottle of water over the flames and they hissed and spit, but were snuffed out, leaving only a thin trail of smoke behind in their wake. Beth looked up into the sky, filled with hundreds of stars, and took a deep breath. She could do this. She would do this. She’d be normal again if it killed her.

  * * *

  “So…we’ve watched four movies at your place, gone shopping three times, and talked on the phone over two dozen times. Don’t you think it’s about time you see where I live?”

  Cade’s words were lazy, but Beth could hear the underlying tension in them. She’d been putting him off, but he was right. They’d been getting along wonderfully. Each kiss made her fall for him harder. He’d been patient and hadn’t rushed her into anything beyond what he’d previously called “the dugout” and first base.

  The last time he’d been over, they’d made out like teenagers on her couch and she’d actually fallen asleep before three in the morning, snug and safe in his arms. She’d woken up around four with a crick in her neck from their awkward position on the couch, but hadn’t even cared.

  She really liked this man and was more than curious about where he lived. He’d claimed it was “only a bachelor pad,” but she figured he was probably downplaying it a bit. Pen had told her Cade lived in the Potranco Ranch area, a community on the northwest side of the city with half-acre home sites. He’d bought the house a couple of years ago when it was a buyer’s market. Beth was dying to see it.

  “I’d love to see your place, Cade,” she told him, gripping the phone so hard she was afraid it’d crack under the pressure.

  “Great. Tonight?”

  Beth could feel the panic building inside at his suggestion. “Tonight’s not good. I have to do a thing for Tex and—”

  “You can do it at my place. I’ll come and get you early, before dinner. We’ll stop and get takeout and bring it home.”

  Beth was silent. She so wanted to come up with a hundred excuses for why tonight wouldn’t work, but couldn’t.

  “Please, Beth. Trust me. I’m gonna be with you the entire time. I know this is hard for you. I know it. But I think if you get the first time out of the way, you’ll feel so much better.”

  It was the please that did it. And the fact he was right. She’d built it up so much in her mind, that it was merely the thought of being in his space and not her own that was making her uneasy. “Okay. But don’t blame me if I freak out or if you have to bring me back here or keep hold of me all night.”

  Beth could just imagine her having to hold Cade’s hand even in his house. What a disaster.

  “Don’t you get it? There’s nothing I’d like better than holding on to you all night, sweetheart.”

  God, he was so wonderful.

  “Do you have a preference for dinner? There’s a great Thai place on my way home. Or we could do pizza or Chinese. Really anything you’re in the mood for, I can arrange.”

  “Can we stop at Whataburger?”

  Cade laughed. “Of course.”

  “I haven’t had one in forever,” Beth said wistfully.

  “Then one big, juicy Whataburger is what you’ll have. I can’t wait to see you. I’ll be there around five-thirty.”

  Beth looked at her watch. Two. She had three and a half hours to freak out.

  “Great!” she told him in a high voice, trying to act excited.

  He obviously saw right through her. His voice was soft and easy, not accusatory or pushy at all. “Beth, if this is too much too fast, just tell me. I’ll back off and we’ll continue to hang out at your place. It’s not a big deal.”

  Beth took a deep breath. “No, it’s okay. I can’t pretend I’m not nervous as all get-out. But you’re right, it’s time. I need to get out of this apartment, otherwise I’ll never leave. Even my counselor said if I didn’t push myself I’d get more and more comfortable where I am…and would have a harder time breaking free.”

  “I worry about you.”

  “I know. Thank you. But Cade?”

  “Yes, hon?”

  “If I freak out—”

  “If you have an attack I’ll be right there. Okay?”

  “Okay,” Beth whispered. “Thanks.”

  “Bring your computer with you…you have that thing to do for Tex and it’ll make you more comfortable. If nothing else, you can lose yourself in work. I’ll see you in a few hours. Try not to stress about this. It’ll be fine.”

  “See you soon.”

  “Bye.”

  “Bye.”

  Beth hung up her phone and took a deep breath. Then another. Then one more. She felt a bit calmer, but reached over and grabbed the disposable lighter sitting on the table. She flicked it on and sighed when the flame burst to life. She held it until her thumb hurt from the pressure it took to hold the fuel lever down.

  She was so screwed.

  CHAPTER 11

  So far, so good.

  Cade had showed up exactly at five-thirty, taken hold of her hand and hadn’t let go yet. They’d stopped at the burger chain and picked up dinner. Beth couldn’t help but be impressed with his neighborhood. The houses weren’t mansions, but they weren’t shacks either.

  Cade’s was a two-story with a porch that wrapped around the front and one side. His yard was hurting from the lack of rain, but was nicely manicured and it was massive. There was what looked like a forest behind his house, which turned out to be some sort of nature refuge. He’d explained that he’d purchased two lots, wanting room between him and his nearest neighbor. The neighborhood was still being built and at the moment the lots around his house stood empty, waiting for someone to buy the land and design their dream house. Since no one could build on the land behind the house, because of the nature refuge, it was like living out in the country, but having the convenience of being close to civilization at the same time. Beth loved it on sight.

  He didn’t let go of her hand even when they were inside, merely towed her into his kitchen. Cade dropped the bag of food on the counter then turned to her. He finally let go of her hand, only to sandwich her head in his hands and lean in.

  “You seem to be all right. Yeah?”

  “I’m okay, thanks, Cade.”

  “Good. I have a surprise for you after we eat.”

  “Uh, I’m not that good with surprises.”

  “That’s because you haven’t had enough practice with the good kind.”

  Beth couldn’t remember the last time she’d had a nice surprise. “That’s probably true, but I’m reserving the right to get payback if it all goes downhill.”

  Cade laughed and kissed her lightly on the lips. He leaned down and nuzzled behind her ear. Beth helped by tilting her head to give him better access. The goosebumps that raced down her arms made her shiver. “It’s not going to go downhill, but feel free to hold me down and have your wicked way with me if it makes you feel better.”

  Beth laughed and pushed lightly. “Goof. Come on, I’m starved, and the smell of that burger and fries is making me want to gnaw my arm off.”

  “Can’t have that. Dig in, sweetheart.”

  Beth forced herself to back away from Cade. He was way too addicting. She had enough issues in her life and didn’t want to add crazy stalker girlfriend to the list.

  Dinner went well. Beth couldn’t remember the last time she’d enjoyed a fast-food meal so much. It wasn’t just the food, but Cade. He was funny and Beth relaxed just being around him.

  Cade gave her a tour of his house, and Beth was very impressed. It did look like a single guy lived there, but it wasn’t over the top, there wasn’t one foosball table to be seen. There were three bedrooms, with one set up as
a workout room. The guest bathroom was clean and it even looked like there was a full roll of toilet paper on the roll—and the paper was actually hanging over the top instead of under it. He got bonus points for that.

  The master bedroom was huge and Beth immediately felt at ease in it. He had a king-size bed, which was mostly made. The comforter was thrown over the sheets, and it looked extremely comfy. There were at least six pillows, and Beth couldn’t resist teasing Cade about it.

  “Enough pillows there?”

  Cade didn’t take offense. “Hey, what can I say? I like to cuddle at night, and if a pillow is the only thing available to snuggle up to, it’ll have to do…although I prefer a human to curl up with.”

  Beth blushed. “I walked right into that one didn’t I?”

  “You did, and I couldn’t resist.” Cade gave her a one-armed hug. “But seriously, you should know I haven’t had a woman at my house in over two years.”

  Beth looked up at Cade in amazement. “First, why? And second, I’m not sure why you’re telling me that.”

  “Are you kidding? Sometimes I can’t tell when you’re being sarcastic and when you’re serious.”

  “I’m being completely serious.”

  Cade turned to her, his face not showing any of the easy-going Cade she’d gotten to know over the last few weeks. “Beth. I’m telling you this because it’s true. Because I like you…a lot. Because we’re dating. Although if you have to ask why I’m trying in my ass-backward way to let you know I’m not a manwhore, I’m not sure we’re on the same page.”

  Beth swallowed hard. If he could be honest with her, the least she could do was give it back to him. “I…it’s been a really long time for me…since my freshman year in college. I thought he liked me, but he was drunk and didn’t even remember me in the morning.”

  “Dumb college-asshole fuck.”

  Beth’s lips twitched. She couldn’t help it. Cade’s disgruntled words were kinda funny. “I don’t think you’re a manwhore.”

  “Thank you.”

  “And I like you too. A lot.”

  “Good.”

  “But I’m not ready to hop into bed with you.”

  “I know, but you know what? I’d be disappointed if you were. I like the pace we’re going. You’re still dealing with a lot of stuff in your life, and I really, really don’t want to be some sort of rebound guy,” Cade told her, sincerity coating his words.

  “You’re definitely not a rebound guy, Cade. In fact, you’re more like my start-my-new-life guy.”

  “I hope that’s a more permanent position than rebound guy, because I’ll tell you right now, Beth, I plan to be around for a very long time. You don’t get to be my age and not hang on with everything you have to a good thing. And, sweetheart, you are definitely a good thing.”

  Beth’s breath hitched at his words. God. Her thoughts came out soft and low. “I wouldn’t necessarily start carving our names into that huge tree on the side of your house, but I’m thinking that making sure we have the necessary tools just in case wouldn’t be amiss or inappropriate at this point.”

  Cade pulled Beth toward him and wrapped his arms around her. “Good. I’m sure I’ve got tree-carving tools around here someplace.”

  Beth snuggled into Cade, buried her nose against his neck and inhaled. He always smelled so good, even when she saw him right after his shift when he stopped by with groceries for her. Feeling her nipples peak at the thought of what he’d smell like all over, and the thought of getting her hands on him, she shifted in his hold.

  Cade drew back a fraction of an inch and looked down at her. “I know, standing next to this huge bed makes me want to try it out too, but I promised you a surprise. Come on, sweetheart. I have no doubt we’ll eventually make it up here and we’ll spend hours getting to know each other, inside and out, and hitting a home run, but right now, I want to show you something.”

  Beth ran her finger over his collarbone and coyly looked up at him. “You could show me something right here…if you wanted.”

  Cade barked out a laugh. “Lord, if I thought you were ready, I’d have you naked and under me so fast your head would spin.”

  “I’m getting there. You know, I once thought what that asshole did to me would make me afraid to get naked with anyone ever again, but I’m finding that prospect not so scary with you. I have a feeling you’d cut off your own arm before you’d do anything that would scare or hurt me.”

  “Damn straight. And you have no idea how happy I am to hear that. I won’t ever hurt you, and I’ll do what I can to make sure it’s only the two of us in our bed, but tonight we’re going to enjoy your surprise, then I’ll take you home.”

  “Can I stay here?”

  “What?”

  “Not here, here. But in your house. I’ll stay downstairs because I know you have to work tomorrow, but I can set up my computer at your kitchen table and I’ll sleep on the couch. If it’s not too much trouble, you can drop me off at my place before you go into work.”

  “My place is your place,” Cade told her seriously. “I’d like nothing more than for you to feel as comfortable here as you are in your apartment. I wasn’t sure if you were ready for that. I know your place is your safety net. I wouldn’t ask you to do anything that would make you uncomfortable.”

  “I like your house. It feels…safe to me, especially if you’re here. I’m not sure why.”

  “You can stay as long as you want. Tomorrow, if you think you’d be okay, you can hang around here while I go to work.”

  “Really? You aren’t scared I’ll go through your things or anything?”

  “No. Because I’ve got nothing to hide. If you want to hack into my computer, go for it.”

  “I already have.”

  Cade looked taken-aback for a moment, then recovered. “Right…see? Nothing to hide.”

  Beth let loose the smile she was holding back. “I was kidding, Cade. I wouldn’t hack into your hard drive.”

  “Brat.” The word was said affectionately and Cade followed it up with a long, wet kiss that made Beth’s legs weak.

  When he finally pulled back, they were both breathing hard. “Come on. We need to get out of my bedroom, and I have that surprise I promised you.”

  Beth followed Cade down the hall and stairs back into his living room. He sat her on one of the leather couches then went into the kitchen. He popped some popcorn and got them both a beer. It seemed like an odd choice of snack, but Beth didn’t say anything. He was obviously on a mission.

  After setting the popcorn and beers on the coffee table, he went to the TV and messed with some of the equipment. Finally, he came back over to where she was sitting and settled next to her. He clicked on the television and sat back, pulling her with him.

  “A movie is my surprise?”

  “Not a movie. Watch.”

  Beth smiled huge when the video started playing. She looked at Cade incredulously when she realized what she was watching.

  He shrugged. “We’ve talked about it, I figured until you feel strong enough to get to one yourself, this would do.”

  Beth threw herself into Cade’s arms, but didn’t take her eyes off the screen. He’d put in a recording of what was obviously one of their officers versus firefighters softball games. The video wasn’t the best quality, and made her slightly sick to watch with the shaky movement from whoever was filming, but it was the best present anyone had gotten her in a long time. The popcorn and beer made sense now.

  They watched the entire game, and Cade gave her a running commentary on what was going on offscreen that she couldn’t see. Both teams flagrantly cheated, but it all seemed to be a part of the fun. Beth giggled until tears coursed down her cheeks when Penelope flashed the officers while wearing her sports bra to divert their attention, and Driftwood stole home and scored the winning run for the firefighters.

  “It looks like you guys really do get along well.”

  “We do. There might be a rivalry between us and the cop
s, but every single one of us knows any of the others would lay down their lives for us if it came to that. We work together. Many times when we show up to accidents or fires, one of them is already on the scene,” Cade reminded her, talking about the law enforcement officers.

  “And we watch their backs when we can. It’s almost crazy how much our paths cross when we’re doing our jobs.”

  “Is what you do that dangerous then?” Beth asked, worried.

  “No, sweetheart. We tend to stick to helping others. I won’t lie and say it’s always one hundred percent safe…dealing with fire is never safe. It’s unpredictable and even when you think you’ve got it under control, it can flare up and bite you in the ass. I’ve studied it, I know the science behind how it works, but even I’m still taken by surprise every now and then. We only pretend to control it, but in reality, the flames are always in charge.”

  Beth was surprised by his words. That hadn’t been her experience at all. She was easily able to decide when to put her little fires out, but she kept quiet as he went on.

  “It’s just that when there’s a car accident and we get called, usually one of our friends is already there working the scene. If there’s a domestic incident, we get called in for medical assistance, but again, our boys in blue are usually already there and they’ve got it under control. I’ve even seen them jump in and help with water when we need it at a scene. We’re in it together and I wouldn’t change what I do for the world.”

  “You love it.”

  “I do.”

  They were silent for a moment as they watched the firefighters celebrating on the screen in front of them. “Do you think your friends would come over here one night…you know, if you had a cookout or something…so I could meet them?” Beth thought she was probably overstepping, but she wanted to meet his friends so badly. They looked fun. She didn’t have enough fun in her life. Once upon a time, back before everything that had happened, she’d loved to hang out. She used to be the life of the party. Watching the tape and seeing everyone joking around and having fun, she realized she missed it.