Dark Corners

by A. m Madden

  Maygen

  Betha sat across from me stunned and silent. I couldn’t blame her.

  His words played over and over in my head. He wanted me, yet he wouldn’t take me, and I shouldn’t ask why.

  What the hell?

  How did a man walk away from sex, yet claim he was into the woman offering it?

  As my friend went through theory after theory on what she thought his issues could be, I had to blame his PTSD. It was the only explanation that didn’t cause insecurities to bubble up within me. Deep down inside I had to believe he thought he could physically hurt me during an episode. I had to believe his words and trust the meaning behind them. But it was hard as hell to do while silence stretched between us.

  He said that he liked me too much and needed time. I understood that part. What I couldn’t wrap my brain around was what would happen to me if he decided he didn’t want to continue. I was already vested…and if he walked away it would hurt.

  So, the question was, should I hang on for the ride in hopes he wanted more with me, or should I walk away before the inevitable happened? The signs were there. Ours was a complicated situation, and nothing about our relationship was normal or predictable. Could I really expect a normal outcome?

  “You could call him.”

  “I could but I won’t. He asked for time. This is me giving it to him. I just haven’t figured out how long I’ll give him.” Glancing at my phone I stood and put on my coat. “Let’s get back before Dax sends the bloodhounds out looking for us.”

  On our way out of Great Perks she said, “It’s only Monday. I’m sure you’ll hear from him soon. Don’t jump to conclusions.”

  Too late, I thought.

  I’d jumped to so many already, my head spun with every scenario imaginable as to why he hadn’t called. Shit, I hadn’t felt this way since high school, and even then it wasn’t as stressful because I was too young and too dumb to really give a shit.

  Trust my words, his voice said in my head.

  I was trying, David….God knew I was trying.

  —

  My solution to the situation was to immerse myself in work. Thankfully, my job cooperated with my plan because we were so busy I didn’t have time to ponder over David.

  When he did pop into my thoughts I’d quickly jump back into the task at hand to remove him. Tuesday came and still no call. I reasoned it was probably a busy day for him with his online courses. Wednesday’s excuse became he must have been swamped with homework. Then came Thursday and I was all out of excuses.

  Betha insisted we go out for lunch. We hadn’t left the studio all day and we needed the break. Dax came along, agreeing he needed to clear his head as well. We decided on our favorite pub a few blocks away, and walked over in the frigid temperatures.

  “We could have taken a cab,” Dax complained after the two-block walk left us completely frozen. I stared at him and rolled my eyes. The man could be such a diva.

  Dax led us to a table near the window. He loved people-watching to see what New Yorkers wore, claiming it was “realistic motivation.” Once we ordered, conversation revolved around the new fall line, which would debut during Fashion Week in February.

  “I personally think it’s your best yet,” Betha stated matter-of-factly.

  Dax’s baritone laugh boomed through the restaurant. “You are so good for my ego, doll. You say that every season.”

  “Well it’s true. I wouldn’t be working for a lame-ass designer who sucked at his—”

  “Um…isn’t that the guy who you kissed in the lobby?” Dax interrupted.

  I turned to see David standing right outside the restaurant window, with Angela beside him. Our eyes locked, neither of us moving a muscle. Without looking away, he said something to his sister; she nodded and he led her toward the door.

  “He’s coming in,” Betha announced next. “He’s heading this way.”

  Her play-by-play was making me nervous.

  “Hey.”

  “Hi.”

  Angela smiled warmly, moving around the table to give me a hug. “Hi, Maygen, what a great surprise. I called David to meet for lunch. He suggested the place next door.”

  “That’s great,” I said with no enthusiasm. “Um…Angela, this is my boss, Dax, and my friend Betha.” I then pointed to him and added, “And you both remember David?”

  “Dax Storm,” Angela said with a huge smile. “Such an honor.”

  “Thank you,” Dax said. “Maygen has told me that you and your cousin have been anxious to meet with me. I should have some time for you ladies once Fashion Week is over.”

  “She’ll be thrilled to hear that. Thank you. We look forward to seeing the line.”

  He looked up at David and said, “Would you like to join us for lunch?”

  David’s eyes remained focused on me but he said, “No. Thank you.”

  Both relieved and annoyed at the same time, I broke the connection by looking down and taking a sip of my water. Screw him. I could feel his gaze, and promptly ignored him as Angela and Dax chatted about a new designer everyone was talking about.

  “Well, we’ll let you guys get back to your lunch. We just popped in when David saw you to say hi,” Angela said before she threw her brother a sideways glance.

  “You too. Enjoy,” Dax responded.

  I couldn’t believe he had nothing to say. I really couldn’t expect him to open up here in front of my co-worker and boss, but to say nothing?

  By the time they walked out of the restaurant my blood had gone from an uncomfortable chill to a full boil.

  Chapter 14

  David

  “Where are you?”

  I glanced up at my sister, realizing she must have asked me a question. “What?”

  “Did you hear me?”

  Um…no.

  She narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “David. You look like you’re about to be sick. Coincidentally, Maygen had the same look on her face when she saw you walk up to their table.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  With her fork, Angela played with the salad that still covered half her plate. My own burger held no appeal whatsoever. When I had accepted her invitation to lunch I predicted nosey Angela would make an appearance, but I never predicted this reaction to her nosiness. Normally, I could ignore my sister’s relentless badgering on my love life. As she went on and on that I needed to let people in, I couldn’t shut off the nagging voices in my head that agreed with her. This time her lecture was all too much, and hitting too close to the truth.

  It had been almost a week since my awesome date with Maygen and I was no closer to clarity than I was when I walked out of her apartment last Friday. From the look on her face, Angela was right that she wasn’t at all happy to see me.

  “Can I say something?”

  I turned my eyes to my sister as she sat determinedly ready to meet my gaze. “I have no idea what is going on with you, since you refuse to talk about it. I’m used to that, and thank God I don’t take it personally.” She reached and patted my hand. “Today, my brother, you’re distracted.”

  “I’m always distracted.”

  “This is a different distraction, David. This is a distraction that I’m very familiar with.”

  “You’re not making sense,” I said impatiently.

  “Okay, I’ll spell it out for you. I may not relate to what you went through in Iraq. Whenever you drifted off and got lost in your mind I always knew that eventually you’d snap out of it and resume normal activity. It amazed me how you could literally come back to the present minutes later, like you flipped a switch inside your own head. But you’re not snapping out of it this time, and I can’t help but wonder if it’s because of a certain blonde.” Pushing her plate away, she leaned back into her chair and smirked. It was the I’m about to educate you smirk.

  “Go ahead. Spit it out.”

  “Fine…I recognize your symptoms.”

  “What symptoms?”

  “The si
de effects, the trickle effect, call it what you want. But if you didn’t have feelings for this girl, you wouldn’t be acting this way.”

  “What? You’re delusional.”

  “Okay, whatever.” Angela gave me a knowing nod. “When you’re ready to talk about specifics, I’m here for you, David. This is unchartered territory for you; you should use my expertise on relationships.”

  “You’re the authority, are you?”

  “Most definitely. Ask my husband.” All her cockiness instantly dissolved when a warm smile spread over her face. “I love you, David.”

  “No, you don’t, you annoy me,” I retorted with a wink.

  “Jerk.” Since we were kids my automatic response to her declaration had never failed to rile her up. She glanced at her phone and said, “I have to get back. Will you promise to call me if you need to talk it out?”

  “Probably not.”

  “You are so stubborn. Fine, I’ll just call you then.”

  “Yay.”

  After I hailed a cab for Angela, I found myself walking toward Maygen’s favorite coffee shop without consciously deciding to. I ordered a black coffee, sat at a corner table, and dialed her number.

  Once the call connected, a short span of dead air hit me before her voice said, “Hi.”

  “Hey…uh…it was great seeing you earlier.” She didn’t respond, and I didn’t expect her to. “Listen, I was going to call you tonight—”

  “Come on, David, you don’t have to lie,” she said, cutting me off.

  “I’m not lying. I swear I was. We need to discuss the party Saturday night.”

  “Oh, you don’t have to come to that. It’s just a silly holiday party. Really, it’s not a big deal.”

  “I want to come.” Silence again stretched between us. “So, you’re basically ignoring the two things I asked of you?” My knee bounced up and down while waiting for her to answer my question.

  “What things?”

  “To trust my words…to give me time.”

  “You’re right. I’m sorry,” she said quietly over the phone. “I heard you loud and clear. This is just me giving you time, while protecting myself in the interim.”

  I couldn’t voice out loud that I wouldn’t hurt her, because I couldn’t guarantee that. When all was said and done, even with the strong feelings that were developing for her on their own accord, I was who I was. I had no confidence these feelings for her would keep my issues at bay. There was no way to know if she could change me, or what I’d end up doing to her. That realization was probably the only thing stopping me from coming clean, from telling her I needed her, that I felt calmer with her.

  But then what? In admitting that, I’d also have to admit I could very well take her down with me in the process, and hope she’d survive the emotional battle once it was all over.

  “So, what time should I pick you up?” I ignored her comment and the argument in my head by changing the subject.

  “David…”

  “I’m taking you to that party, Maygen. What time?”

  She released a loud puff of air before saying, “My dad usually needs my help with last-minute details. I’ll text you the address.”

  “Okay, then I’ll see you Saturday.”

  “Bye, David.”

  She didn’t wait for my returning goodbye, and ended the call…also not hearing me quietly say her name.

  Maygen

  I stood staring at the ballroom and enjoying the calm before the storm. My father went all out with his holiday parties, and this year wasn’t an exception. Contracting the best party planners in the city, Dad tells them his must-haves and gives them carte blanche on all the other details, such as the theme, décor, and menu.

  Tables adorned with formal linens, crystal, and fine china mixed well with the whimsical centerpieces that depicted a different theme each year. Tonight’s theme was classic Hollywood movies, and framed pictures of the greatest actors and actresses of our time sat dead center with tiny floral arrangements and romantic candles.

  All employees of Whitney Public Relations were invited as guests; however, clients and business associates from other firms were given the option to purchase a table for charity.

  Along with the price of their dinner, colleagues were able to contribute by bidding on various items in a silent auction. Last year’s party collected almost a quarter of a million dollars for the Future in Our Youth, a mentoring organization based in New York City. Every year my dad had his employees vote on the recipient of the donation, giving them two options to choose from.

  I was very proud of my father, but it was during his holiday parties that pride would flood uncontrolled within me.

  As a waiter walked by holding a tray loaded with champagne, I plucked off a filled flute without him even realizing that I did.

  “Starting early?” My handsome dad stood beside me with one raised brow, contradicting the smile on his face.

  “Benefits of being the boss’s daughter.” Reaching over, I picked a piece of lint off his lapel. “So handsome. Does Felicia know what she’s in for?”

  “What is she in for?” he asked, amused.

  “Beating off the throngs of women who’ll be pawing at you?”

  “Very funny.” While putting an arm over my shoulder and pulling me closer to kiss my temple, he added, “You look beautiful, sweetheart.”

  “Thanks.”

  The simple black velvet halter gown that had caught my eye wasn’t fancy in any way, and I’d chosen it with David in mind, based on his reaction to the backless dress I wore to dinner last week. When digging it out of the back of my closet, I imagined his sexy smirk, his eyes following the fitted lines of the fabric over my curves. I imagined his hand on my exposed back, the buttons of his shirt pressing into the exposed skin visible at the neckline. I even imagined his full, gorgeous lips on my ear complimenting it.

  And then I remembered his absence over the past week and all imagery vanished.

  “Thanks for your help,” Dad offered, interrupting my visual. “In case I don’t get a chance to thank you later.”

  “You’re welcome. I love that you do this for them; that’s why they appreciate you so much.”

  “I appreciate them more. This is just a small way to show it.”

  He turned me in his arms and kissed my forehead. “Also, thank you for not giving Warren a hard time when he showed up at your apartment tonight.”

  “I had a feeling he’d be there.” I pretended to be annoyed, but truth be told, I was glad I didn’t have to hail a cab in my ball gown. “Thanks for sending him.”

  “Did you doubt I would?”

  “You’ve been a good boy lately by finally listening to my complaints. Don’t tell me it was a temporary bout of insanity on your part.”

  “I’ll never tell.”

  The band started a slow jazz tune as background music. A few guests began arriving, and Dad kissed my cheek before excusing himself to go say hello. I’d probably only see glimpses of him until dinner was served. He always made sure to greet every guest, all four hundred of them. I hadn’t been kidding when I said throngs would be chasing him. Dad always brought a date to his party, and always made her feel special. That left many women pouting that they couldn’t steal a dance with the elusive Garrett Whitney.

  I found my table, plopped my beaded clutch down, and gulped the rest of my champagne. I needed the liquid courage to calm my nerves.

  “Miss Whitney, another champagne?”

  “Oh, yes. Thank you.”

  “Ooh, good. Have enough for both of us.” I turned to see Phoebe on Reed’s arm.

  “Don’t dare me.” I leaned in to give her a hug. “You look beautiful. You found the perfect dress.”

  “See, I told you. She didn’t believe me,” Reed said before giving me a kiss on the cheek.

  “Well, believe him. You’re glowing.”

  “That’s because I’m in the middle of a hot flash,” she deadpanned, and I couldn’t help but laugh
. “This dress is like an oven. Note to self: Brocade plus pregnancy doesn’t mix.”

  I looked down at her bare legs and said, “You should be getting a nice updraft.” The heavily beaded fabric fell at her knees, but with long sleeves and a modestly scooped neckline I could see why she’d be so warm.

  “Can you use your connections to have them turn up the air in here?”

  Reed laughed, quipping, “She keeps the air on in our apartment. It’s freakin’ December.”

  “You weren’t complaining last night when I slept naked.”

  “Good point. I’ll get you a cold drink, sweetie.”

  “And a glass of ice, please.” He nodded as he walked away. “I’ll just keep shoving ice in my bra,” Phoebe added to me.

  “Good plan.”

  “Where are you sitting?” She panned the table and frowned. “Why are there eight place settings?” Her widened eyes flew to mine. “You have a date? Wait, you finally decided to put Ted out of his misery?”

  “Um…no. Not Ted.”

  “Then who?”

  I glanced toward the door thinking, That’s if he shows. “His name is David. It’s very casual.”

  She scrutinized my face while folding her arms. “Casual? Is that why your eyes keep darting toward the door? Or why you’re suddenly more flushed than I am?”

  Reed returned with her seltzer and ice, and Phoebe’s eyes widened even farther. I knew without looking what she was focused on…or rather, whom.

  Chapter 15

  Maygen

  Even in his black suit, David still stood out from the mass of tuxedoed men mulling around him. And it had little to do with his height or muscular frame. It was simply unfair to any man in the room how truly handsome he was, and more so for the ladies who all stood ogling him just as I was.

  He paused by the door while his eyes scanned the room. As if he could feel my gaze our eyes connected, and while sporting his sexy smirk he purposely strode toward where I stood dumbstruck, with Reed and Phoebe.

  Reed turned to see what had rendered his wife and me completely speechless. When he turned back to us he asked, “Who the hell is that?”