The Magelands Box Set

by Christopher Mitchell

  ‘Right,’ she said, ‘let’s get back to work.’

  ‘So there I was, staring up at thousands of fucking flying lizard carriages, just like the ones those wee bastards used to invade Kell and Brig. The entire fucking Sanang army was hungover to fuck, seeing how we’d just stolen a shitload of wine, and…’

  ‘What’s wine?’ said a voice from the listening crowd.

  ‘Booze that tastes like sour juice,’ Keira went on. She held up her glass of whisky. ‘Not as good as this, mind, but drink enough and it’ll mangle ye all the same.’

  The patrons of the packed tavern laughed.

  Keira glanced at the woman who had spoken.

  ‘If ye interrupt me again, hen, I’ll fucking brain ye. Stick yer hand up if ye’ve got questions.’

  The woman nodded, her eyes wide.

  Keira took a drink. ‘Where the fuck was I? Oh aye. The Sanang army were sleeping off this massive session we’d had the day before, and so it was all up to me to save their arses. The first wave of carriages were smashing into the army. One of them smacked right into my fucking tent, whack! If I hadnae been up drinking it would have smeared me right across the hillside. Every fucker was running about, panicking and screaming like bairns, and I was like, “cool it, ya fuds, I’ve got it under control.” Then I raised my arms, and made this great big cloud of fire, and shot down every one of those flying bastards from the sky…’

  ‘Bullshit,’ muttered someone.

  Keira narrowed her eyes and scanned the crowd. At a table to her left, past where Flora sat next to her, was a group of young travellers, a mixture of young men and women. A few were laughing, and most wore sceptical expressions.

  ‘Are you calling me a liar?’

  ‘Just enjoying your stories,’ one grinned. ‘Carry on.’

  Keira scowled. ‘They’re not fucking stories.’ She gazed over the rest of the full tavern. To her right sat a large group of regulars, who came every day to hear her speak, and even though she had recycled her tales several times over, the stupid bastards never seemed to get enough. The rest of the tavern was filled with travellers, mostly those arriving as refugees from Rahain or the Plateau, on their way down to the new settlements in the Domm lowlands, or merchants, carrying their wares to the numerous towns and communities spreading across the long Domm Pass. Everyone was watching her, waiting for her words.

  ‘What happened next?’ said one.

  Keira finished her whisky, and held out her glass to Flora, who re-filled it.

  ‘I killed them all.’

  The crowd hushed, waiting, but Keira said nothing more.

  ‘She lit up the night sky,’ Flora said. ‘I was there, I saw it. Hundreds of burning carriages fell, and crashed into the fields in front of the army, it was like nothing…’

  ‘Who are you?’ shouted someone.

  ‘She’s my wee white-faced witch,’ Keira said.

  ‘But she’s dark-skinned.’

  Keira shrugged. ‘You had to be there.’

  The crowd began to glance at each other as Keira drank her whisky in silence.

  ‘And then?’ said someone. ‘Did you go to the capital of the Plateau?’

  ‘I’m bored,’ Keira said. ‘That’s enough for today.’

  The crowd groaned and complained.

  ‘Tell us more,’ cried someone from her group of regulars.

  ‘Aye,’ said a man from the table on the left. ‘Tell us about the Rakanese camp.’

  Keira glared at him. ‘What the fuck did you say?’

  The tavern quietened.

  ‘Who are the Rakanese?’ asked Bay, one of her regular listeners.

  ‘Never you fucking mind,’ Keira snapped. She gestured to Kendrie. ‘Get that wanker out of here.’

  Kendrie nodded, and he and a couple of other tavern workers approached the group on the left.

  Keira stood, and began shooing the crowds away. ‘We’re done for today.’

  Amid mutterings the people started to disperse, leaving the tavern by its wide front doors.

  ‘Wait!’ called out an older woman. ‘We have an offer on lunch, a free ale for every meal ordered.’

  The woman frowned at the backs of the leaving patrons, and within a minute the tavern was quiet, with just a few regulars propping up the bar.

  She glared at Keira.

  ‘It’s not my fault,’ Keira said. ‘I’m just not in the fucking mood for it today.’

  ‘Sorry, Miss Kelpie,’ Flora said.

  ‘It’s not your fault, hen,’ Kelpie said. ‘I saw you trying to help.’

  ‘Those guys were arseholes,’ said Bay, approaching Keira’s table with Dora, another of Keira’s regular followers.

  Kelpie frowned at the two young women as they sat next to Keira.

  ‘I told ye girls, we’re done for today,’ Keira said.

  ‘We just want to sit here,’ said Dora. ‘We’ll pay for yer drinks.’

  Keira smirked.

  ‘Don’t worry yourself, lass,’ Kelpie said. ‘Keira gets her food, drink and rooms for her and her two friends all paid for, and all she has to do it speak to folk for a few hours each day.’ She sat at the table next to Flora and poured herself a whisky. ‘And let’s see, ye managed a whole twenty minutes today. Still, better than yesterday.’

  ‘Don’t give me yer shite,’ Keira said. ‘The money Agang’s bringing in more than pays for me and Flora.’

  Kelpie frowned. ‘Not in front of company, please.’

  ‘Where is he, anyway?’ Flora said.

  ‘Working,’ Kelpie said. ‘He’ll be finished soon.’

  Keira pulled the half-smoked weedstick from behind her ear and lit it.

  ‘A large group will be passing by on their way to the lowlands this evening,’ Kelpie said.

  ‘So?’

  ‘Well,’ Kelpie said, ‘to make up for this lunchtime, I’ll need you to speak to them.’

  ‘No fucking way,’ Keira said. ‘I’m getting rat-arsed.’

  ‘It’s too late, I’ve already put out word on the road that you’ll be here this evening. They’ll burn the place down if you don’t show up, and then where would you sleep, or get your booze?’

  Keira glared at the older woman as she finished her whisky and got to her feet.

  ‘See you this evening,’ Kelpie said, and walked away.

  ‘We should get some sleep,’ said Flora. ‘It’s going to be a long night.’

  When Keira stumbled back into the tavern it was quiet, with a handful of patrons sitting drinking. The shutters had been opened along the entire western wall, and the sky was lit with shades of peach and red as the sun fell over the lowlands beyond the high pass where the tavern perched.

  Agang was sitting alone at a table by the windows, watching the vast sunset.

  Keira and Flora joined him, and a bar-boy brought over ales.

  ‘Such beauty,’ Agang said, his face shining in the reflected glow.

  ‘Aye, it’s braw,’ Keira said, taking a drink.

  ‘You been busy?’ Flora said.

  Agang nodded.

  ‘You look exhausted.’

  ‘I am. I must have mended a dozen broken bones today.’

  ‘Get paid well?’ Keira said.

  He frowned. ‘Using my powers for money is wrong. And besides, the Kellach barely require a healer. Your people don’t get diseases, and recover quickly from accidents. It’s been mostly alcohol-related injuries that I’ve been fixing. An ignoble use of my gifts.’

  ‘Quit whining,’ Keira said. ‘It’s only while we settle in and decide what to do.’

  Flora pulled her eyes from the sunset to gaze at Keira. ‘You mean you don’t intend to stay here at Kelpie’s?’

  ‘Are we going back to the Plateau?’ Agang said.

  ‘Probably not, and definitely not,’ Keira said. ‘In that order.’

  ‘I thought the plan was to keep our heads down,’ Flora said. ‘Every day that passes, more people learn who you are. Soon the whole of Domm
will be aware that Keira the fire mage has returned.’

  ‘Aye,’ Keira said. ‘Kelpie’s got it into her head that that’s a good thing.’

  ‘But the Emperor will come looking if he finds out you’re down here.’

  ‘Come on,’ Keira said. ‘We’re at the arse end of fucking nowhere. More folk are still coming here, but nobody’s leaving. And even if someone did, and walked all the way back to Rainsby, and started telling folk there was a drunken woman in Domm claiming to be me, no one would fucking believe it anyway.’

  Flora and Agang shared a glance.

  ‘So,’ Agang said, ‘are you considering the offer the Domm Council made you?’

  ‘Nah,’ Keira said. ‘I must have told ye a hundred fucking times, I’ll not be using my powers again, not ever. That’s the one thing guaranteed to get the Emperor’s attention.’

  ‘So what are we going to do?’ Flora asked.

  Keira shrugged.

  Kendrie walked over.

  ‘Evening,’ he said. ‘You wanting fed?’

  ‘Aye,’ Keira said.

  Kendrie nodded and turned to go.

  ‘And bring us a bottle of whisky,’ Keira smirked.

  Kendrie frowned.

  ‘Get her it,’ Kelpie called over from the bar. ‘Agang’s more than earned their pay today.’

  ‘Fine,’ Kendrie said.

  ‘Cheers, Kelpie,’ Keira grinned.

  Flora glanced at her. ‘Maybe you should hold back a bit, at least until you’ve spoken to this new group that’s coming.’

  Keira snorted. ‘Fuck that.’

  She turned and gazed at the sunset. The sky was now blood red, and darkening. A brisk wind gusted by the open windows, and she breathed in a good lungful.

  ‘Nothing beats the air in Kellach Brigdomin,’ she said. ‘Every other place stinks. Especially Sanang.’

  ‘You’ve never been to the Holdings,’ Flora said.

  ‘True, but I bet it reeks of horseshit.’

  ‘At least it’s warm.’

  ‘It’s warm now,’ Keira said.

  ‘What?’ Flora said. ‘This is the middle of summer, right? As good as it gets? And I’m still wearing three layers to keep the wind out. Even our winter is better than this. And don’t get me started on the rain.’

  ‘I don’t mind a wee bit of rain.’

  They paused as Kendrie put a bottle of whisky onto their table, along with three glasses.

  ‘Could I have some water, please?’ Agang said.

  Keira frowned. ‘A pair of pansies, the both of ye. One’s moaning about the fucking weather, and the other needs water to put in his whisky. Might I remind ye that I’m not forcing anyone to stay here with me. Yer more than welcome to fuck off if ye don’t like it.’

  Agang glowered, while Flora looked away.

  Keira poured herself a large whisky, as Kendrie returned with a jug of water and a bowl of bread.

  ‘Your fans have arrived,’ he muttered.

  Keira turned, and saw Bay and Dora waving at her from the tavern’s front doors. She sighed as they began to walk over.

  ‘Remember, don’t be mean to them,’ Flora said. ‘They look up to you.’

  The two young Kellach women approached the table.

  ‘Can we sit with you, please?’ Dora asked.

  ‘Will you be quiet?’ Keira said.

  ‘Aye.’

  Keira nodded at a couple of spare chairs, and they sat down, beaming.

  ‘Have you been in a fight?’ Flora said, peering at them.

  ‘Aye,’ Bay said. ‘A few of us caught up with those pricks from lunch, you know, the ones who were giving Keira grief.’

  Dora gazed at Keira. ‘They won’t be disrespecting you again, mage.’

  Keira smirked, and sipped her whisky.

  ‘Can I ask you something, please?’ Bay said. ‘What did they mean? What happened at the Rakanese camp?’

  Keira continued to stare out of the window. The light was fading, and lamps were being lit inside the tavern. She finished her glass of whisky, and poured another.

  ‘Is it true you destroyed a whole city?’ Dora said.

  Keira said nothing.

  ‘That’s what those folk told us,’ said Bay.

  ‘I thought ye were going to be fucking quiet,’ Keira said. ‘If ye don’t shut up, ye can fuck off.’

  The young women lowered their eyes, and sat in silence.

  After an awkward minute, Flora spoke up. ‘So, girls, you always seem to know what’s going on, have you heard anything about the group coming in this evening?’

  ‘Just more refugees from Rahain,’ Bay said.

  ‘Eight thousand,’ said Dora. ‘All heading down to the lowlands.’

  ‘Call themselves a clan.’

  ‘It’s their leaders coming here tonight. Apparently some of them say they know Mage Keira.’

  Keira glanced at them. ‘Who?’

  Dora and Bay shrugged.

  ‘Don’t know any names,’ Bay said.

  ‘Could be anybody,’ Keira said, putting her feet up onto a nearby stool. ‘I know loads of folk.’

  ‘Do you know when they’ll get here?’ Flora said.

  ‘We can find out for you,’ Bay said.

  ‘Aye,’ Keira said. ‘You go do that, girls.’

  The two young women stood, and hurried from the tavern.

  Agang poured himself a small whisky, and topped it up with some water.

  ‘At some point,’ he said, ‘you should probably tell me and Flora what happened at the camp. I think we have a right to know.’

  ‘Do ye now?’ Keira sneered. ‘Anyway, I thought ye fucking knew.’

  ‘In the Plateau, King Guilliam, as he was then, told me that the Rahain had slaughtered an entire city of Rakanese refugees. He didn’t mention you. But last year a Holdings priest told me that it was you who’d done it. That’s all I know.’

  Keira nodded to Flora. ‘She knows. You can ask her. Just wait until I’m not around.’

  ‘I know about as much as Agang,’ Flora said. ‘Just that you burned up a whole city. Half a million refugees, or something like that.’

  ‘What did I just fucking say, ya silly cow?’ Keira cried. ‘I ask ye not to speak about it, and off you go, spouting fucking numbers at me.’ She glared at them. ‘I’m not going to fucking talk about it, do you understand? Fuckwits.’

  Flora pushed back her chair and stood. ‘I’m going back to bed.’

  Keira shook her head as the Holdings woman strode from the still-empty tavern.

  ‘You should be nicer to her,’ Agang said.

  ‘What the fuck’s it to you, eight-thirds?’ She downed her glass of whisky. ‘You fancy her, don’t ye? Ye just want to get into her pants.’

  ‘Sometimes,’ Agang said, ‘you are completely clueless.’ He stood. ‘Good night.’

  ‘What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?’ Keira yelled as he walked away. She turned back to the windows, filled her glass, and watched the last lingering light of the sunset, its final glow diminishing into the horizon.

  ‘You should treat your friends better,’ Kelpie said, sitting at the table and pouring herself a whisky. ‘As far as I can tell, they’ve stuck with you this long, they deserve a bit more respect.’

  Keira snorted. ‘You’re one to talk. The way yer milking Agang, like he was a prize cow. Doesnae sound like respect to me.’

  ‘Keira, my dear,’ Kelpie said, shaking her head, ‘I’m just trying to help you. Agang, it is true, is earning your keep here, but the important thing is that everyone knows you’re home. You give the people hope, Keira.’ She smiled. ‘From the moment I saw you at Marchside, when you destroyed the attacking ranks of Rahain, I knew that you were special. Our folk have been scattered to the far corners of the world, those of us who have survived invasion, slavery and war, but now they are returning home.’

  ‘And what the fuck’s that got to do with me? I just want a quiet life.’

  Kelpie laughed. ‘You
must know there’s no chance of that. Whatever happened in the past, you’re still Keira the fire mage, the one who rallied the clansfolk after the Rahain invasion, and cleared the lands of Kell and Lach of the lizards, until you were captured.’

  Keira smirked.

  ‘That’s what most folk here remember about you,’ Kelpie went on. ‘You’re still a hero to them. Most of the refugees coming in are from slave camps in Rahain, yet each night you talk of wars in Sanang, and fighting outside the walls of the empire’s capital city. These lands are so far away for most that they may as well be listening to fables or legends.’

  ‘Ye saying that I’m lying?’

  Kelpie sighed. ‘Of course not.’

  The front doors of the tavern opened, and Bay and Dora ran in.

  ‘They’re coming,’ Dora yelled. ‘And there’s loads of them.’

  Keira stood, picking up the bottle of whisky and her glass.

  ‘Close the shutters, Kendrie,’ Kelpie said. ‘Let’s get ready.’

  ‘And then the bastard appeared, high up on the fucking walls,’ Keira said, a glass of whisky in one hand, the other gesticulating at the listening crowd. She scanned their faces, but recognised no one. ‘He raised his arm and, just like that, the heads of every fucking Sanang warrior exploded, covering everything in brains and blood. A hundred thousand heads, bursting like ripe fruit. Pyre’s arsehole, the fucking noise it made, it shook the ground like a low, long rumble. Mental.’

  ‘How did ye get away?’ cried someone amid the crowd.

  ‘I fucking ran for it,’ Keira said. ‘It was dark, and there were so many bodies around, no one noticed me go.’

  ‘How many wars have ye been in?’

  Keira frowned. ‘Umm, let me think. The Rahain invasion, then when the Alliance attacked Rahain, and finally when the Sanang invaded the Plateau. Three.’

  ‘You were with the alliance forces?’ someone said. ‘They liberated us from slavery.’

  ‘Aye,’ Keira said, ‘that was our plan. Free all the slaves.’

  ‘Tell us a story from that war.’

  ‘Aye, all right.’ She paused as the main doors opened, and another group of travellers entered. The crowd seemed to know who they were, and parted for them. Keira squinted through the dim lamplight as the group approached.