Freedom

by Mary Crawford

  I am still studying maps when Zoe comes back into the room. Her entire demeanor has changed. She is no longer happy and bright. She looks like she’s been crying. Crap! I’m terrible at emotions. Give me binary values any day.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask.

  Zoe takes a paper towel from the roll on the kitchen counter and wipes her face. “I don’t even know how to explain this. That was my mom. My mom and dad are threatening to evict me from my apartment if I don’t speak to my brother. I have nothing to say to him, but I need a place to live.”

  “Can they do that?” I ask.

  Zoe nods sadly. “Unfortunately, they can. My parents own the building.”

  “You shouldn’t have to talk to him if you don’t want to. Can you find somewhere else to live?” I ask.

  “No. If I decide to leave Wellington Manor, my parents will do everything in their power to destroy my reputation, and no one in town would rent to me.”

  “That sucks,” I state simply.

  “It does,” Zoe agrees with a teary smile.

  “What are you going to do?” I ask.

  Zoe shrugs. “I guess I have to take a call from Vinnie. I don’t know what else to do.”

  “I’m sorry,” I reply softly.

  “I am too,” Zoe says as a tear slides down her face.

  In an uncharacteristic move for me, I ask, “Is there anything I can do?”

  “I can’t think of anything,” Zoe admits. “But if I come up with something, I’ll let you know.”

  I try not to drag my feet on the pavement as I walk into Identity Bank. To me, it feels just like when I was a kid and was called into the principal’s office for my ‘disruptive’ behavior. I wasn’t a bad kid. Not really. It’s just that people didn’t understand what I was going through — kind of like today. I could be on a fool’s mission. I just don’t know. But not knowing my future with Identity Bank is torture too. At least after today, I’ll have some answers.

  Zoe wanted to come with me but she had to work at Hope’s Haven. I’m surprised she even wanted to try. Most people are a little taken aback by my odd behavior. Zoe seems to roll with the punches. Without saying a word this morning she brought me milk, sugar and Cheerios in completely separate containers. She made me some toast but was careful not to have it touch anything else on the table. It was kind of cool — she didn’t make a big deal out of everything.

  When I reach the receptionist’s desk, her brow creases, and she blurts, “You’re not supposed to be here.”

  “I know. Change of plans. I need to speak to Mr. Macklin,” I reply, trying not to fidget.

  “Oh… Okay. Let me see if he’s in. Have a seat. I’ll be with you in a moment —” she turns away and talks into her headset.

  I walk over to the bank of chairs in the waiting room. I’m sure they were very expensive, but they’re not as comfortable as the couch at Hope’s Haven.

  After a few minutes, Tristan comes downstairs and greets me, “Phoenix! I thought you would be across two or three states by now.”

  I stand up and shake his hand. I try my best to make direct eye contact with him. “That’s actually what I came to talk to you about.”

  “Is there a problem? Let’s go talk in my office.”

  Just his words make my palms sweat. I hate confrontation. Unfortunately, this isn’t like junior high school. I can’t send my mom in to fight my battles for me. I’ve worked hard to minimize the effect of my Asperger’s Syndrome. It’s time for me to step up and act like the man I am.

  I’ve worked for Identity Bank since before I graduated from high school, but this is the first time I’ve actually been in Tristan’s private office. Usually, he holds meetings in a small conference room. The inner sanctum is much more casual than I expected. There is a framed pen and ink drawing of his wife Rogue and pieces of pottery sitting on his bookshelf. To me, it seems chaotic, but then again nearly everything does.

  Tristan opens the mini refrigerator and grabs a bottle of water. He turns to me. “You want one?”

  I shake my head. “No thank you, sir.”

  “You’ve been a member of the Identity Bank family long enough you can just call me Tristan.”

  “Thank you sir … I mean Tristan.”

  “I expected you to be well on your way to Oregon, what happened?”

  “Life got in the way. Or at least, saving a life interrupted my plans.

  “Wow! What happened?”

  “I saw a dog get hit by a car and I took him into Hope’s Haven because I thought there would be a vet there.”

  “That explains how you met Zoe. You didn’t know her before, right?”

  “Zoe helped me fix up Bruiser,” I explain.

  “Oh, so this was your dog?” Tristan clarifies.

  “No, sir! I wouldn’t treat a dog like that. I just saw Bruiser get hit.”

  “Is the dog all right?”

  “He was doing much better this morning. Dr. Austin says he'll be fine. It’s a miracle he wasn’t more seriously injured.”

  “I appreciate you stepping up to do the right thing. A lot of people wouldn’t. So, if you need a couple more days to get to Oregon, just let me know.”

  “Actually, I’d like to ask you about Oregon,” I reply.

  Tristan raises an eyebrow. “Shoot.”

  At first, I am puzzled by his remark but then I realize it’s just a figure of speech and he wants me to talk. “Am I being punished?” I blurt.

  “What?” Tristan asks with surprise in his voice. “Why would you think that? I’m offering you a chance for a promotion.”

  “It’s just that I like my job here and you didn’t seem too happy with me during my performance evaluation. So, I thought maybe you were punishing me for something.”

  “As much as I would like you to be more interactive with the staff here at Identity Bank, I know it’s probably not within your nature. I understand your dilemma because I am shy and don’t like to interface with other people much. It has taken a lot of practice for me to be able to get up and speak in front of people. I would much rather be programming my computer.”

  “Oh, I thought you were angry with me about something and wanted to send me away.”

  “No! You are one of my best problem solvers. You relate to computer code like no one I’ve ever seen before except for Ketki from my beta team. I figured having your own office and private space away from the rest of the staff would be something you would appreciate. The layout of the new building is much more conducive to that kind of working environment. I want you to meet with Jameson to see if it would be a good fit for you. If it’s not, that’s not a problem. You can keep your job here.

  “Thank you. That makes me feel better. Zoe told me about Ketki. I guess Ketki and I have a lot in common.”

  Tristan’s eyebrows raise as he replies, “How is it you and Ketki haven’t worked together? She is wicked smart on the computer. The two of you would probably get along like two peas in a pod.”

  “I’m not sure. I’m not close to anybody, but I’d still like to meet her.”

  “Fair enough. After you get back from Oregon — assuming you’re still going — I’ll see what I can do.”

  “Thank you,” I respond unsure what to say next.

  “For the record, you’re a talented programmer. I want to do whatever I can to make your job easier. Just let me know what you need.”

  “Well, you could explain what you’re doing if you send me away for another job,” I quip.

  “I thought I did,” he answers. “Unfortunately, it seems like we got our wires crossed.”

  “Yeah, catastrophic things can happen when wires get crossed.”

  “I guess I’ll have to be more precise the next time.”

  “I’m a big fan of precision. You know, mathematics is kind of my hobby.”

  “Okay, I’ll keep that in mind. Let me know what your plans are for your trip,” Tristan says with a warm smile.

  “For now, I’m going to check
on Bruiser and Zoe. I’ll update you once I make my plans,” I respond.

  “By the way, what did you think of Zoe?”

  “She’s nice,” I assert.

  “Is that all?” Tristan raises an eyebrow as he grins at me.

  “She’s good with dogs,” I add.

  “Uh-huh, I’m aware. Anything else?” Tristan asks with a twinkle in his eye.

  “She’s very pretty and she smells good,” I admit awkwardly. “I think she’s cool.”

  “Well, that’s something. I was beginning to wonder about your powers of observation.”

  Little does Tristan know, my powers of observation are in overdrive.

  CHAPTER SIX

  ZOE

  I DON’T KNOW WHAT CAME over me but I’ve suddenly been possessed by the spirit of Betty Crocker. Devon came in today and did all the routine chores I would’ve done to keep my mind off of Phoenix. So, I decided to bake instead. I chose plain sugar cookies and roast beef with mashed potatoes and corn. Those are pretty much universal comfort foods. Maybe Phoenix will feel at ease eating them. When I hear his motorcycle come up the drive, I throw open the door and step out onto the front porch. Bruiser follows me.

  “How did it go,” I ask as soon as he gets off his bike.

  Phoenix walks up to the front porch slowly. It’s clear from his expression he is confused by my enthusiastic, happy greeting.

  “Okay, I guess. You were right. Tristan wasn’t trying to punish me or make me feel bad for having Asperger’s syndrome. He was trying to find a better working environment for me.”

  Phoenix stands in front of me and reaches down to pet Bruiser.

  “That’s great news. I want you to know Bruiser missed you terribly. He paced the whole time you were gone — even though he’s not supposed to be very active. He didn’t settle down until he heard your bike coming up the street. I think he was worried about you.”

  Phoenix starts to stroke Bruiser’s ears. “It’s nice that he likes me, but I’m afraid it creates a problem.”

  “Problem? What do you mean? Bonding is usually a good thing.”

  “It would be if I was going to stay in Gainesville, but I’m headed to Oregon. What is Bruiser going to do once I leave?”

  I frown as I ponder Phoenix’s question. “It will be a rough transition for sure. Bruiser seems unusually attached to you.”

  Phoenix looks anguished. “I’ve got a few days of flexibility in my schedule. Maybe I should stay here until Bruiser is feeling one hundred percent.”

  “You can if you want to, but I don’t know if it’ll make it any easier on Bruiser. He seems to have adopted you as his human whether you wanted him to or not.”

  Phoenix sighs. “Either way I go, it’s a bad choice. I don’t want to leave Bruiser, but after I talked to Tristan today, I understand why he wants me to go. I can’t really disregard that.”

  “The weather is awful, why don’t you stay the night and think about your decision.

  Phoenix smirks. “Obviously, you don’t know me very well if you think I won't think about the decision. I over think everything. I obsess over stupid stuff like what I’m going to wear or how much cheese to put in my grilled cheese sandwich. Thoughts spin in my head twenty-four hours a day.”

  “That must be exhausting,” I sympathize. “You look like you’ve had a long day. Do you want something to eat? I made dinner.”

  Phoenix looks at me in surprise. “You did? Why?”

  I chuckle. “Despite my early mistrust of you, I usually treat my guests with kindness — and like it or not — you are my guest. So, I made you roast beef, mashed potatoes, and corn.”

  Phoenix wrinkles his nose. “Please don’t tell me you put all those things in some weird casserole or something.”

  I take Phoenix’s hand and escort him to the dining room. “No, I know better than that. Everything is separate. Come see what I found for you. When I went into a little craft boutique to find a present for a friend, I ran across these.” I point to the plates on the table.

  “Oh wow! Were they made that way? That’s like someone crawled in my head and pulled out my thoughts. Usually, if I find a divided plate, it’s the size of a hockey puck. That’s fine for kid’s plates, but not for someone like me. These are perfect. Look how high those dividers are. My food won’t be cross contaminated. That’s cool.”

  “I thought so too. I thought about going back and buying the rest of them. You are not my only friend who doesn’t like to have your food mixed together.”

  “Am I your friend?” Phoenix asks.

  “I think so, why?” before I can finish my question, my phone rings. I look at Phoenix with an apology in my eyes as I whisper, “I have to take this, I’m on call tonight. This is the business line.”

  “Hope’s Haven, this is Zoe. How can I help you?”

  My heart drops to my toes as I hear the threatening voice of my brother. “Back off and mind your own business if you know what’s good for you and those puppies you claim to love. Obviously they mean more to you than your big brother. You don’t know anything about what happened. I didn’t do anything to you. Why are you interfering?”

  “Vinnie, I don’t have a choice. I have to testify.”

  “No, you don’t. You could have a terrible case of the flu, a migraine or malaria for all I care. Just make sure you’re nowhere near me or the courthouse. If you don’t, I know where you work and I know how to use a cigarette lighter. Have I made it crystal clear for you? If you testify against me, I will ruin you.”

  The phone goes dead in my hand. I stand there stunned for a few moments. My brother, the man I used to worship as a kid just threatened to burn down my employer’s business. That was incredibly cruel of him. He knows all about my phobias.

  One time when I was giving him a tour of Hope’s Haven, I told him I was afraid to work completely by myself because if I did, I wasn’t sure I would ever get the dogs out in time if there was ever a fire. He totally used my deep-seated fear against need to terrorize me. I don’t know what to do. I sway as the edges of my vision grow gray.

  Phoenix rushes over to me and helps me sit in one of the chairs. He’s in such a hurry he still has his fork in his hand.

  “What happened?” he asks looking at me with concern.

  I rub my eyes with the heels of my hands. “My brother, my brother freaking happened. I can’t believe it. Maybe this is the ugly side of him others have talked about —”

  “What did he say to you? Are you okay?”

  Phoenix’s questions send thoughts ricocheting around in my brain. “Oh my gosh, I need to let the police know what happened. Isn’t it a crime to threaten a witness?”

  Phoenix nods. “Yeah. That’s straight up intimidation or witness tampering.”

  I look at Phoenix as tears continue to spill out of the corner of my eyes. I can’t seem to stop crying even though I am furious with my brother. “You know how to work a computer, right?”

  Phoenix gives me a strange, confused look. “Zoe, you know what I do for a living, don’t you? I debug computer games. I use a computer for this — sometimes ten hours a day. I can type almost as fast as you blink.”

  I take a gulp of soda before I admit, “I know this is going to sound weird. But, remember I told you I was dyslexic?”

  Phoenix nods.

  “Honestly, I don’t write well either. I mean, I can have the thoughts in my brain, but when I try to put them on paper, nothing seems to come out right and everything ends up sounding like some illiterate kindergartener wrote it. Would you mind taking notes on my computer for me as I talk to you? That would be so much easier for me. I need to get all of this out before I forget what my brother said to me. I can’t believe Vinnie would stoop so low.”

  Phoenix sets down his fork next to the plate. “Do you want to do this now or after dinner?”

  I blush. In all the craziness, I completely forgot about dinner. “Do you mind if we do it now? I don’t want to forget anything. Right now, his words
are still so fresh in my mind my heart is pounding. I think I need to convey that fear while it’s still happening.”

  Phoenix shrugs. “I can wait. Just point me to your computer.”

  After I finish writing my statement with Phoenix, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Not only was he able to help me put my thoughts in a coherent order, his insistent questions helped me remember more of the conversation. I was still so numb from it, I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to remember anything, but Phoenix’s methodical approach makes me confident I haven’t forgotten anything crucial.

  After dinner, as my shock wears off, I realize I have at least one more call to make. Phoenix is taking Bruiser for a walk, so I take the opportunity to change into my pajamas before I make my call.

  Jessica is the one who picks up the phone. “Hi Jess, this is Zoe. Is Mitch around?”

  “No, he went to the grocery store to buy some diapers for me. Is there anything I can help you with?”

  I sigh. “I’m not sure. I don’t even know how to explain all this.”

  “Well, you know I work in a library so you know I’ll tell you to explain it like a book. Start at the beginning. Hope’s Haven isn’t on fire or anything is it? I know my stove is a little touchy.”

  I know she meant her words as a joke because she couldn’t possibly know why I’m calling. Still, they feel like a physical blow.

  “No, Hope’s Haven isn’t on fire. Actually, we’re doing pretty well here. I adopted out the last Chihuahua which was dumped on our doorstep. But, that’s not why I called.”