Without Borders

by Amanda Heger

  “She is okay, Annie.” Without thinking, he put a hand on her back. For a moment, the shaking stopped, but then it returned worse than before. He tore his hand away.

  Marisol eased herself up as Juan shuffled over to join them.

  “I turned off your pump,” Felipe said. “Where is your meter?”

  She pointed to the mess under her hammock, and he crouched to dig.

  “Here.” Annie nudged him out of the way. “She keeps it in this pocket.” She grabbed the black and white case and held it out to him.

  Outside, the sun appeared over the horizon, throwing soft, pink light through the room. This close to her, Felipe could see exactly where each of her long, pale eyelashes ended. Her hair slumped half out of her ponytail, and her gold-flecked eyes bore into him.

  “Gracias.” He took the meter and shot up, afraid he would lose what little composure he still had.

  Juan’s voice came from behind him. “Everything is okay?”

  Felipe handed his sister her meter. “Sí.”

  “Bien.” The man cleared his throat, and Felipe turned around to face him. “Because I looked through my bag for the extra sugar tablets, but I found only this.” He held up an enormous pair of underwear, and the red fabric flapped in the morning breeze.

  There was a long beat of silence before Marisol coughed. “I am glad you did not try to shove those in my mouth,” she whispered.

  Day Twenty-Five

  Annie looked at the exposed wood ceiling and the wide, fingerprint-smudged windows at the back of the room. The screech and thump of children playing echoed through the cabin. “This place is really neat. What did you call it?”

  “The Casa del Niños,” Marisol said.

  “Like an orphanage?” Phillip asked.

  “Not so much orphans. More like their parents cannot take care of them,” Marisol said.

  A knot of children swarmed the group, and the press of little hands and legs threw Annie off balance. She stumbled as a boy stuck a finger into a hole in her shirt, and someone lifted the supply bag from her shoulder. She turned, expecting an overeager child. Instead, she found herself staring at Felipe.

  Juan shoved a bag in Phillip’s hands and dragged him toward the door. “I will do my exams in the sleeping room. It is bigger.”

  “I will go do the organizing. So Annie can do lots of observations for her last clinic, yes?” Marisol didn’t wait for an answer, sashaying out of the room with a trail of children in tow.

  Real subtle, Mari. Annie pulled down her ponytail and redid it twice, her fingers refusing to stay still. “Is that okay?”

  Felipe nodded but kept setting out supplies. She wondered if it really was okay. If being alone together was as terrifying for him as it was for her. She pushed out her doubts. The last clinic. Her last chance to bolster her med school application. Last chance.

  Their first pint-sized patient sprinted in, and Felipe lifted her onto a heavy oak table that took up most of the space in the room. He looked in the girl’s ears and eyes. He shined a light down her throat then pulled out his stethoscope.

  “Do you want to listen?” he asked.

  “Really?”

  “Aquí. Tell me what you hear.” He put the stethoscope in her ears and moved the round end of the device around the girl’s back.

  Annie’s smile spread like wildfire. “Her lungs.”

  “And? Do you hear anything concerning?”

  She closed her eyes and listened again. The sound of deep, clear breaths filled her ears. “No. I don’t think so.”

  “Muy bien.” He lifted the girl off the table. She wrapped her tiny arms around him, muttering into his waist.

  “What is she saying?” Annie watched them, imagining the girl was begging him to stay or to take her away from this place.

  “She wants a Band-Aid.”

  “Oh.” Annie dug in a bag and produced a Snoopy Band-Aid. “Here.” She unwrapped the bandage and stuck it to the child’s hand.

  The girl fell into a fit of giggles and tore out of the room.

  “How many are left?”

  “Many,” he said as the next child shuffled in. Felipe shined a light into the chubby boy’s throat. The boy’s left eye pointed toward the floor while the right looked straight ahead. “Come look at this.”

  She took the black penlight from Felipe’s hand. “What am I looking for?”

  “Shine it in his right eye first. Then the left.” He stood behind her, guiding the light between her fingers.

  “Go slow. Look at his pupil.”

  She moved the light back and forth between his eyes. Only his right one shrank under the beam. The left eyelid drooped, as if the boy was exhausted. “This one isn’t reacting. Or,” she moved the light again, “the left one is a lot slower.”

  Felipe forced the light toward the floor. “Do not blind him.”

  “Sorry.” Annie stepped away. “What does it mean?”

  “He has damage to the oculomotor nerve.”

  Her chest constricted. “That sounds bad. Do you want me to get someone?”

  “No. It is okay. He has been injured since birth. I want to take him to Managua to see about surgery for his eyelid, but so far we have not been able to raise the money.”

  Annie fumbled for words as she helped the boy off the table.

  A girl with a prosthetic leg and a smile so wide it took up half her face came scrambling into the room. “¡Doctor! ¡Doctor!” She rapped on her fake leg, the pale plastic shocking against her dark skin.

  “Dios mío, ahora puedes correr más rápido que los muchachos.” Felipe’s smile was wide enough to match the girl’s.

  Annie’s heart ached. “Did you tell her she can run faster than the boys now?”

  “Sí. Your Spanish is getting very good.” He tugged at the girl’s ponytail. “This is Mariana. One of Ahora’s donors helped her get a new leg last year.”

  “Hola.” She squatted and smiled at the child.

  The girl waved, and Felipe lifted her onto the table in front of them. “When we are done here, I want to talk to you, Annie.” He closed his eyes as he rubbed the crease in his forehead. “Por favor.”

  Annie handed the girl a Band-Aid, ignoring the torrent of emotions swirling inside her. “Okay.”

  • • •

  Working next to Annie had grown more fluid with each child. They moved and talked and examined in the tiny quarters, handing out Band-Aids like stickers. But in the tight space, there were a dozen accidental touches and a handful of looks that lingered a second too long.

  “I think that is the last of them.” Felipe packed up his supplies. “Last clinic. You survived Nicaragua.” He hated the bitter taste of the words.

  “Barely.”

  Silence ran between them, interrupted only by the shuffle of little feet in the hallway.

  Felipe pulled the crinkled sheet of notebook paper from his bag and held it out to her. She reached out, but he jerked it back to his chest. “I am sorry. For the things I said. For yelling. For all of it.”

  She frowned, and a few tiny lines sprung up on her forehead. He wanted to reach up and smooth them away.

  “And I have an idea. But I am not sure of all the details.” He tucked the page into her hands. “I wanted to ask for your help before you leave.”

  Her frown deepened as she stared at the paper, her eyes narrowed and focused. His stomach sank. She hates it.

  “Child vacations?” She squinted up at him. “Your handwriting is terrible.”

  “No. Child abuse education. Maybe a class, like your sexual education classes?”

  “Really?”

  “Sí, I think so. I will have to talk with my mother. We have not done things like this before. Things that are not so much physical health.”

  “This is great.” Annie’s face cracked into a brilliant smile, sending a wave of relief through him. “But I don’t think you need me for anything.”

  Felipe stomped out the urge to say he needed her for ever
ything. Even if everything only spanned a few more days. “I do. When we go back to my mother’s house, I will have to tell her what happened.” He wiped the sweat from his brow. “She will not be happy—”

  “Because of me.” Annie’s shoulders sank.

  “No. Because I let you go to that house. Because we were chased away. Because I made you feel bad for trying to help. Because of all of it.” He willed away the gut-twisting memories. “But if I can show her a plan and tell her I have learned something, she will not be so upset.”

  “You think she might give you Ahora? If she likes it?”

  He shook his head. “No. But she might let me keep going on the brigades.”

  “She wouldn’t keep you from them, right? You’re too good.”

  “After the last one, she threatened…” The words wouldn’t come.

  “Then we’re coming up with a plan.” She tugged a supply pack over her shoulder. “Let’s go.” They hiked to their temporary home as fireflies flickered in the distance. She smiled and waved her arms as she threw out idea after idea for the class.

  “You are a real Nica now,” he said the third time her elbow jabbed his forearm.

  “What?” She cocked her head, and a clump of hair clung to the sweat on her forehead.

  He pushed it away and forced his thumb not to trace her cheekbone. “You talk with your hands now. Mucho.”

  “Ha. I think I got used to no one understanding me. This. Seems. To. Help.” She accented each syllable with a random gesture.

  By the time they reached the house, everyone else had finished dinner. Juan, Phillip, and their host played a game of UNO by flashlight, and Marisol had her face in a book. Annie and Felipe made themselves plates of lukewarm gallo pinto as they brainstormed.

  “Like with the lady who was really into the sex ed classes?” Annie asked between bites.

  “Sí. Bianca.” He sat next to her on the yoga mat. “If we have an educator in the villages, the people will be more open. Because the information is coming from someone they trust.”

  Annie’s face puckered, and he could practically see her brain spitting out the ideas. “Maybe you should have two educators in each village. I mean, if they’re going to be dealing with people like Rosa’s dad, they might want to have some backup.”

  “Bien. Do you still have the paper? Write that down.”

  She smoothed the crinkled page and printed the words in her perfect handwriting. “Oh! Idea.” She looked up at him with a grin so wide he nearly kissed her. “What if—”

  “You are funny.”

  “No, I’m excitable.”

  “I cannot read with all your excitability, Anita.” Marisol kept her eyes focused on her book. “You should go outside.”

  “Sorry,” Annie whispered. She plucked the flashlight from Felipe’s hands and tucked the pen and paper under one arm. “Let’s go. Bring the yoga mat.” She darted out the door before he had time to stand up.

  Marisol finally put down her book and looked him straight in the eye. “De nada. Do not waste your last moments, hermano.” She pulled the pages up to her nose without waiting for him to respond.

  Outside, Annie paced back and forth, tapping the pen to her lips. Her perfectly curved, soft lips. Felipe threw down the yoga mat and sat. His sister’s words spun in his mind. “Tell me your grand ideas, Americana.”

  She sat beside him, and his skin buzzed as her knee brushed up against his.

  “So what if…”

  “…We could have a…”

  “…No, that won’t ever work…”

  “…Money. It is always a problem…”

  “…It’s a fundraiser…”

  They went on and on, throwing out ideas and scribbling the best on their single sheet of paper. Sleep weighed on Felipe as Annie talked, but he didn’t want to lose this moment. He stretched out, staring up at the sky with the damp grass tickling his neck.

  Annie lay beside him, and he was acutely aware that no part of her was touching him. Her ideas slowed, and the silence between them stretched on.

  “I think we have a very good plan,” Felipe said.

  “Yeah.” Her voice softened at the end, and he could tell she was fading into sleep.

  Last moments. He took a deep breath, and his throat went dry. There was no reason this should be so hard. No reason he should be so worried. No reason he should be so wrapped up in a girl who was leaving in a few days. “Annie?”

  She didn’t respond, and he turned to look at her. The flashlight still lay in her palm, pointed limply at her feet, and the steady rise and fall of her chest told him she was already dreaming.

  Felipe clicked off the flashlight. “I miss you already,” he whispered.

  Day Twenty-Six

  The sun was bursting on the horizon, and a low cover of thick fog hung over the damp grass. A bird sang in a nearby tree, and Annie honed in on the sound. She’d been awake for a while now, reliving last night’s brainstorming session and making mental notes to add ideas to their list. But between thoughts, she found herself staring at Felipe. Memorizing the line of his jaw and the smooth curve where his neck met his shoulder.

  “Good morning.” His face dipped into a sleepy, dazzling smile.

  It was her undoing. Her heart thumped against her ribcage, begging her to both stop and go. To kiss him and to run away.

  “Annie, I—”

  She pressed her lips to his, giving in to the loudest of her body’s demands. And after half a stunned second, he kissed her back. And then he was pulling her on top of him, all hands and warmth moving against her.

  “I missed you,” she said.

  He pulled her top lip between his teeth, and she pressed harder against him. Her skin felt electric and frenzied, like she might combust if she couldn’t lay her bare chest to his.

  “You are beautiful.” His fingers inched up her side, until he stroked the sensitive skin beneath her breasts. Their tongues explored each other, and Annie forgot where she was or who she was. The smell of morning dew and the taste of Felipe’s mouth and the feel of their skin sticking together combined to overwhelm her senses and her mind.

  “You should go into the woods. Or at least do not lie in the way of the baño.” Juan’s voice trailed behind him as he stepped over their wild tangle and headed toward the outhouse.

  Annie rolled off of Felipe, scrambling to find her composure. “We can’t do this.”

  Felipe sat up beside her and brushed the curls from her forehead. “Why not? I do not care that you are leaving. I care about right now. This.” He slipped his hand around the back of her neck and traced her cheekbone with his thumb.

  She grinned, even though his eyes were soft and serious. “No. Not that. He’s coming back.” She jerked her head toward the outhouse, where Juan had reemerged. His whistling grew louder and more obnoxious with each second. But he stepped around them and into the tiny house without a word.

  “He’s going to wake everyone.”

  Felipe nodded, still running his thumb along her cheek.

  “Do you think he’s trying to get us back? For the underwear thing?”

  “No.” Felipe chuckled. “He will do something worse, I think.”

  “We’ll maintain constant vigilance.” Annie leaned forward and kissed him again, softly this time, trying not to lose herself or this moment in the taste of his lips.

  “Annie?”

  “Yeah?” She kept her eyes closed as she nuzzled into his shoulder. Behind them, the sound of the others waking and shuffling around made her stomach sink.

  “Tomorrow, Marisol and I will go to a resort. We go there after every brigade for a few days. Come with us. We can cancel your hotel in Managua, and you can go to the airport from the resort. It is beautiful there. I want you to see it.” He swallowed, and Annie felt the movement along her forehead. “I want one more day with you.”

  “Really?”

  “Sí.”

  “Will Mari mind? Is it like a sibling tradition?”
r />   He laughed. “I think my sister will murder me in my sleep if I do not invite you.”

  “We can’t have that.” She kissed him one last time before she stood. “It’s a date.”

  • • •

  The house was exactly as they’d left it four weeks ago. Exactly as Felipe had left it six years ago when he moved across the country. Fans perched on every open space. The worn couch with its faded blue pinstripes and sagging cushions. It was all the same. But something felt different…off, like this was a replica of his old home rather than the real thing.

  As he stared at the awards lining the walls, it hit him. For the first time since he started going on the brigades, Felipe wasn’t relieved to return home. He wasn’t happy to dump off the Americans and have a week off to rest and relax away from the worry of medicine. Instead, he was nervous and excited and energized. And he would have gladly hopped back in the boat if it meant another month to put his plan into action. Another month with Annie.

  His mother jumped up from her desk to greet them and knocked a stack of forms to the floor. “¡Hola! I am so happy to see your faces.” She hugged every one of them, enveloping them in her familiar scent. Felipe dug through a pile of envelopes on the rickety kitchen table, and Annie lingered with his mother.

  “Can I use your phone to call my dad?” Annie asked.

  “Of course. Let’s have a debriefing afterward. Everyone all together. I’m sure there are things you want to talk about.” A debriefing meant telling his mother what had happened. Every last detail. Felipe’s shoulders crept toward his ears, and he could already hear his mother’s pointed lecture.

  “Okay.” Annie slipped outside with the phone.

  “Madre.” Felipe put down the mail, and gathered up his courage. “Before we have a group debriefing—”

  Her face sank. “What happened?”

  “It is okay. We had some trouble in one of the villages.”

  “Trouble? What kind of trouble? Felipe, I don’t know—”

  “We should wait for Annie.” Without her at his side, bubbling over with her excitement and ideas, Felipe wasn’t sure he could pull it off.