Shame on It All

by Zane

  Rico was a half–Puerto Rican, half–African-American brother she’d messed around with in high school. He drove a 1975 big-ass Lincoln with stupid happy-face stickers covering every available inch except the tires. Bryce used to be totally ashamed whenever they went out, often urging him to park around the corner from their destination so her friends wouldn’t see her get out of the car.

  “I brought him up because he’s unforgettable,” Harmony replied, still trying to get her laughter under control.

  Lucky was on the brink of tears. “That car was unforgettable. That’s for damn sure.” Robbie turned around, taking his eyes off the race cars just long enough to blow Lucky a kiss. She blew one back before asking, “Could you even see out of the windshield when you were cruising with him?”

  Bryce reached over Harmony’s lap and punched Lucky in the arm. “Leave me alone, dammit. Stop teasing me. Both of you.”

  Harmony tried to lean over and kiss Bryce on the cheek. “Aww, give me a kiss.”

  Bryce moved her head so that Harmony couldn’t reach her face. “Bite me, Harmony.”

  “No, thank you. I’m on a hooch-free diet.” Harmony giggled.

  Bryce had heard enough. Two could play that. “Okay, okay, you want to tease me. What about Angelo?”

  “Angelo?” Lucky asked, not recalling the name.

  “Lucky, you remember that fool. The one Harmony used to date before she hooked up with Zachary. The one that used to take her to do some fine dining at McDonald’s every weekend.”

  Harmony couldn’t help but admit that Bryce was right on the money about Angelo. “Bryce, you ain’t never lied. What killed me is that Angelo used to stand there at the counter staring at the damn menu board like he had never been there before. He would take forever to order sometimes.”

  “Sheit, as much time as you two spent up in there, you should’ve had not only the menu but also the prices memorized down to the penny.”

  “Dang, I haven’t thought about Angelo in ages. I wonder if he’s still taking sistahs to McDonald’s.”

  “Probably. I wouldn’t doubt it. He was past cheap.”

  Lucky let Harmony’s and Bryce’s voices drown out as they went on and on about past relationships. She was caught up in her present one. Robbie was everything she could ever ask for all rolled up into one. She watched as he exchanged lively conversation with Troy and Zachary about the cars speeding around the track so fast that you couldn’t make out the numbers on the sides of them. Yes, she was in love. Amen to that!

  • • •

  Later on, inside the elegantly decorated banquet hall, people found seats around the twelve-setting tables and got ready for the program to begin. A teenage boy walked around with a basket for donations for the Whitfield Family Scholarship Fund, which was equally divided between two high school seniors every year. Close to two hundred people were there, more than double the amount at the fish fry.

  Everyone quieted down when Parker Whitfield, a distant uncle, took his place at the podium and tested the microphone.

  “Welcome to the Twenty-Third Annual Whitfield Family Reunion! Those of you that missed the fish fry last night really missed a special treat.”

  He pointed to his left, where a little girl about the age of nine stood bashfully in a pink dress with ruffles.

  “Little Marcette is our mistress of ceremonies so I’m going to turn the microphone over to her. I just want to remind everyone to get their index cards together for the burning bowl later. There should be plenty of index cards and pencils on every table.”

  Robbie leaned over and whispered in Lucky’s ear, “Burning bowl?”

  Lucky tried to explain as quietly as she could. “It’s a tradition that a lot of churches follow on New Year’s Eve, but we do it every year at the family reunion.”

  “What is it exactly?”

  “You write down everything that is bothering you or stressing you on one card. Stress; bills; ill health. Then, on the other card, you write down everything you wish to accomplish or change in the coming year. Everyone puts their problem card in a huge bowl and then the bowl is set on fire.”

  “And the positive cards?”

  “They go into a separate bowl, which we all say a collective prayer over.”

  “Cool, I’ve never heard of that before.”

  “I hope you’re not sleepy,” Lucky whispered jokingly.

  “Why?”

  Lucky pointed to the program booklet that had been passed out when they came in. “Because this is going to be a long program and half of the people listed to do something are long-winded.”

  “Oh, wow!” Robbie hoped it wouldn’t be too long because he had a habit of falling asleep in such situations and didn’t want to see the reaction of Lucky’s father if he accidentally did. “I want you to know that I appreciate you bringing me here. I’ve never felt as close to you as I do right now.”

  “I’m glad that you agreed to come. I just hope Daddy hasn’t scared you off. The thought of having him as a father-in-law must be downright terrifying.”

  Lucky felt ridiculous and embarrassed after the words had left her lips. The last thing she wanted was for Robbie to feel pressured into a commitment.

  “Pops is cool with me,” Robbie said, caressing Lucky’s hand after sensing her uneasiness.

  Lucky felt reassured and winked at him. “Even though he had your ass up in a tree?”

  Robbie chuckled softly. “That was wild. I’m glad that’s over with.”

  The little girl stepped up to the podium and Parker started adjusting the microphone for her height.

  “Oops, here we go,” Lucky said, giving Robbie a swift kiss on his lips.

  • • •

  After a delicious meal of short ribs, mashed potatoes, steamed vegetables, and assorted desserts, everyone was ready to get their party on.

  The DJ, aka Cousin Smitty, started the after-dinner music off with a bang and played “Doin’ da Butt” by EU. Bryce was the first one on the dance floor, with Troy in tow. Rachelle shielded her eyes in shame as Bryce demonstrated the right way to do the dance made popular by the movie School Daze. She didn’t have long to sit there, though, because Chester grabbed her hand and led her to the dance floor.

  “Chester, I really don’t want to do this,” Rachelle protested.

  “Aw, come on, Sugar,” Chester said lovingly. “How often to we get to show our stuff?”

  “Showing stuff” was exactly what Rachelle was afraid of. Chester had been mixing all kinds of alcohol for about three days straight, and she knew that he was about to cut up big time.

  Troy was shocked and almost froze in place when he spotted Chester doing jumping splits.

  Other family members came out onto the floor and began to shake their asses as well, but none of them could hold a candle to Chester, who was doing everything from the moonwalk to the happy feet as the next song, “Back That Thang Up” by Juvenile, started cranking through the five-foot speakers.

  They all worked it out hard for the next forty minutes, including Lucky and Robbie and Harmony and Zachary. They did the twenty different variations of the electric slide and the booty call as a large group. It was truly a night to remember.

  Bryce was outside getting some fresh air when a country bumpkin in denim overalls and a straw hat approached her in the parking lot.

  “Ain’t ya name Bryce?” he asked shyly.

  Bryce wanted to laugh, but didn’t. She was making a sincere effort to change her ways. After all, the brother was just saying hello. “Yes, I’m Bryce.”

  “Hey there, Baby Girl. I’m Buckwheat,” he said, cracking a smile that wasn’t half-bad. “I’s a friend of ya cousin Albert.”

  “Excuse me, did you just say your name is Buckwheat?” Bryce turned her head for a moment to gain some composure. She had to call upon some serious willpower to prevent herself from saying something smart about his name.

  “Yessum,” he said into her back. “My momma named me after that fella from t
he Little Rascals. That be her favorite show on the telly.”

  Bryce turned back around to face him and said matter-offactly, “Hmph, I see. Nice name.”

  “Thank ya.” Buckwheat stood up straight, apparently more confident than he had been when he’d first slunk toward Bryce looking like the poster child for bad posture. “I’s seen ya dancing in there. Ya sure know howta shake dat thang, girl.”

  “Thanks, I guess.”

  Bryce sighed, hoping he would move on so she could take in some more of the fresh air before heading back inside. She’d had a bit too much to drink and was feeling the beginning of a serious hangover. Troy had driven Zachary and Robbie back to the hotel to get something, so she knew he wouldn’t be coming to her rescue.

  “I’s wondering if ya might wanna go fishing wit me t’morrow?” Buckwheat asked. “We ’pectin’ great weadur.”

  “You’s ’pectin’ great weadur?” Bryce repeated, bursting out into laughter because she simply couldn’t keep a straight face anymore.

  “Yessum.”

  Bryce decided that she would have to be somewhat rude to get his ass away from her, so she went for it. “Look, Buckwheat, I don’t know what Albert told you about me, but I have a man. Albert should know better because I’ve never been without a man for more than two weeks in my entire life.”

  “Oh,” Buckwheat said, his voice full of disappointment.

  “I’m not trying to hurt your feelings, but I felt you should know that. In fact, my man’s here with me. He just ran back to the hotel for a few minutes.”

  “Oh.”

  Bryce headed for the entrance. Fresh air was one thing, but dealing with a brother named Buckwheat wasn’t worth the aggravation.

  “Well, it was nice to meet you, Buckwheat,” she told him coolly as she disappeared into the glass door.

  “Nice ta meet ya, too!” he called after her.

  Bryce caught the elevator back up to the banquet hall and made a beeline for her older sister. Harmony was standing over by the rest rooms, looking totally beat. “Harmony, I say we blow this joint.”

  “Where are the men?” Harmony asked. She had been ready to go for quite a while also, but didn’t see Zachary anywhere.

  “Back at the hotel, but I’m about to call Troy and tell him to get his ass back here to pick me up. You and Lucky can stay if you want, but I’m outtie.”

  “Please, you’re not leaving me here!” Harmony blared.

  Lucky pranced over to them. She had a big ole grin on her face and seemed to be having the time of her life. “Why are you two standing over here looking like Tweedledum and Tweedledee?”

  “Because we’re mad bored,” Bryce replied, propping herself up against the wall so she could help Harmony hold it up. “I’m about to call Troy and tell him to come get us.”

  “I can’t believe they broke camp like that. What was their excuse?” Lucky asked.

  “Zachary claimed that he forgot his contacts and couldn’t see,” Bryce replied nastily.

  Lucky shook her head. “So it takes all three of them to go get one pair of contacts?”

  “Zachary was faking,” Harmony said, jumping in. She didn’t know that was the lame excuse the men had used. “He sat beside me during the banquet and read every word of the program. They just wanted to leave and go chill.”

  “Well, I’m ready to chill with them,” Bryce readily admitted. She loved their family reunions just as much as the next person, but there was such a thing as overkill. Kids even get sick of Disneyland after a while.

  Lucky bent over the water fountain and took a quick gulp. “But Daddy’s just getting started.”

  Bryce glanced at the dance floor, where Chester was still going at it to the tune of “Big Daddy” by Heavy D. “Daddy doesn’t need us to make a fool out of himself.”

  Harmony giggled. “I know that’s right. Did you peep the shoes?”

  “Who could miss the shoes?” Bryce stated sarcastically. Chester was wearing a pair of red suede oxfords with a navy blue suit. “Daddy swears up and down that he be styling.”

  Lucky chuckled and started dancing in place to the beat. “Shame on it all, but he’s still pumped up from bringing that bear home yesterday.”

  “What the hell is he going to do with it?” Bryce asked.

  “I don’t even want to know,” Harmony said with disdain. “I might throw up.”

  “For real, though,” Lucky agreed. She couldn’t even imagine digging into a bowl of bear stew or sucking on a pair of bear claws covered with hot sauce, but wouldn’t put any of that past their father.

  Bryce moved away from the wall slightly and started keeping the beat with Lucky by gyrating her hips. “We need to leave anyway if we’re planning to get an early start tomorrow.”

  “True,” Harmony concurred, staring at Bryce. “Bryce, I hope that you and Lucky won’t fight the whole way back in the van.”

  “Why are you directing that towards me?”

  “Because I need to.”

  Bryce stopped dancing and crossed her arms in front of her. “Look, I’m going to find Momma and Grandma to say goodbye. Are you coming?”

  Harmony replied, “Yes, but first I’m going to take a spin with Daddy on the dance floor.”

  Bryce watched Harmony saunter away. “Aw hell, I might as well go for it, too.”

  “Yeah, come on. It’ll be just like old times,” Lucky said giddily, following behind them.

  “Where’s the DJ?” Harmony asked. “I want to make a request.”

  Harmony requested “We Are Family” by Sister Sledge, a song that she and her sisters had spent hours upon hours singing when they were younger. They put on a miniature talent show for the family, with their daddy in the center doing the funky chicken, and they were a complete hit.

  “Had to come back for your contacts, huh?” Harmony asked Zachary, who was laid up in the hotel bed upon her return. He was watching Oz on HBO and two empty beer bottles were on the nightstand.

  Zachary eyed her seductively and reached out his hand for hers. “Well, Baby, you know I like to be able to drink in everything with my eyes.”

  “Is that right?”

  “Uh-huh!”

  Instead of taking his hand, Harmony slowly slipped out of her dress, unsnapped her bra, and let it tumble to the floor. She held her breasts in her hands and caressed her nipples with her thumbs. “Well, how about drinking these in with your eyes.”

  Zachary propped himself up on his elbow. “Umm, I’m drinking.”

  Harmony slipped out of her panties and turned around, affording Zachary a bird’s-eye view of her ass. “And how about drinking this in with your eyes.”

  Zachary grinned. “Oh, yeah, I can see clearly now.”

  Harmony climbed onto the bed, pushed Zachary on his back, and lowered her pussy onto his face. “Good. I’m sure you’ll have no problem drinking this in.”

  Zachary licked his lips in anticipation. “No problem at all.”

  29

  You Go, Gurl

  Fatima had just finished up her daily step aerobics class and was enjoying a refreshing glass of freshly squeezed grapefruit juice when he approached her. He was tall, real damn tall, and fine as hell.

  It had been months since Fatima had allowed a man, even her little-dick husband, to caress her body. Sure, she had been offered some sex, mostly from Javon’s trifling-ass friends who had fantasized about smoking her boots since she and Javon had first hooked up at Howard. But there was no way in hell that she was giving any of them any play. She knew all about their dirt and had no intention of being one of their many victims.

  She’d taken up the art of masturbation from time to time and it wasn’t half-bad. She’d never experienced an orgasm until she gave herself one in the middle of a whirlpool bath, and it was truly enlightening. All she could think about was all the time she’d wasted with Javon, Mr. Full of Shit.

  Fatima had pretty much decided to take her time discovering love again. She wanted to concentrate on s
pending more time with her children, getting her body in spectacular shape, and starting some sort of business with the money she ultimately stood to gain from her impending divorce settlement. Javon was still fighting it, poor thing. He just didn’t get it. His goose was cooked and there was zero chance of Fatima ever going back with him.

  Even though she’d decided to hold off on men, the fine brother headed in her direction was surely capable of changing her mind. He was clearly over six-five, dark-skinned, built like a gladiator, and was flashing her a grin that could melt ice.

  “Excuse me, I hate to bother you,” he said when he finally reached her.

  Fatima immediately blushed. “You’re not bothering me. I’m just sitting here enjoying the view.”

  He glanced around at the array of exercise rooms and racquetball courts visible from the elevated sports lounge. “Nice view, but not as nice as the view I’m taking in.”

  “Oh, do you mean me?” Fatima asked, feigning ignorance.

  “Yes, I mean you.” He sat down beside her at the bar without even asking. “You look awfully familiar to me. Did you go to Dunbar?”

  “Dunbar High School? Oh, no, I’m not originally from the D.C. area.” But I damn sure wish I were if it meant going to high school with your fine ass, Fatima thought to herself.

  “Then where are you from?”

  “California?”

  “Wow, I just moved back from California!” he exclaimed.

  Fatima couldn’t help but notice that his eyes were dancing all over her body. She also couldn’t help but notice that most of the women, no matter what their race, were checking the brother out like they were envious that he was talking to her.

  “Really, what were you doing in Cali?”

  “Playing for the Lakers. I just got traded to the Wizards.”

  Things became awfully clear to Fatima. The women were staring at him because they were all gold diggers.

  “Aw, I see,” Fatima said coolly. “I’m sorry, but I don’t watch much basketball. I’m a football fanatic.”

  He held his palm over his heart. “You’re killing me over here. Not a basketball fan? Well, we’ll have to see if we can change that.”