Christmas Angel

by Lindsay McKenna

  “What does this mean?” she demanded, her voice breaking. Anna held them out toward him. “Kyle?” His eyes gleamed with tenderness and she felt a wave of powerful emotions roll off him, embracing her.

  He gently took the decoration from her hand and patiently untied the rings. He picked up her left hand. “Will you marry me now, Anna Campbell?”

  His face blurred and Anna pressed her hand against her lips, staring at his serious face. “But…you’re a SEAL, Kyle. You’re going back on December 31.” A sob caught in her throat.

  “Only for two months,” he promised her in an urgent tone. “All those phone calls I’ve been fielding the past week?”

  Sniffing, she stammered, “Y-yes?” Kyle’s face twisted with remorse for a moment.

  “After you told me what happened, losing your babies…Tom nearly killing you…I realized that you’re the most important person in my life. More important than the SEALs, Anna.” Kyle’s mouth grew tight and he struggled to contain his feelings. The ring hovered near her ring finger. He hadn’t slipped it on yet because she hadn’t said she’d marry him.

  “My enlistment is up in two months. I’m quitting, Anna. I’m coming home to marry you if you’ll have me.” Kyle searched her tear-filled eyes. “I’ve seen the world. I’ve seen too much of it, Anna. I know what’s really important to me now. You. You in my arms. Waking up with you every morning, smelling your sweet scent, feeling the curved warmth of your body next to mine, drowning in that smile that makes me feel so damned good inside as a man.”

  She stared down at his hand holding the slender, elegant gold engagement ring with a small solitaire diamond, and then up at him. “You’re really quitting? You’re coming home, Kyle? For good?”

  Giving a grave nod, he rasped, “I’m coming home to you, Anna. I love you. Nothing’s changed about that through all these years. You’ve always been mine, but I’ve been too blind and selfish to realize it until now.” His mouth thinned. “I know I’m a risk to you, but I swear, I will take care of you with my last, dying breath. I want you to carry my children, Anna. And if you can’t have children, then we’ll adopt. I want our family here.”

  He looked up at the dark, rough rafters high above the tree. “I’ll help you with your family’s ranch. We’re a good team. We’ll laugh together and we’ll cry together, but at least we’ll have one another to hold through it all.” He smiled brokenly, his eyes burning with tears. “Will you take me back, Anna? It’s only two months. And then I’ll be home, for good.” Where Kyle wanted to be more than any other place on earth.

  She gave a jerky nod of her head. “Y-yes, I’ll marry you, Kyle!” Anna sobbed as he slipped the engagement ring on her finger. “And even if you didn’t leave the SEALs, I would marry you, anyway.” She found herself in his arms, holding him tightly, his face buried against her neck. He squeezed her so hard she could barely breathe, but she didn’t care. Kissing his shoulder, his neck, Anna pulled back before placing kiss after kiss on his face, eyelids, nose, cheek and, finally and eagerly, on his mouth.

  The kiss was molten and deep, filled with unspoken promises as Kyle held her in his arms. She felt ravished by his joy as he took her mouth, a man claiming his woman forever. It was a branding kiss, stealing her breath, making her entire body leap to life, an ache surging within her.

  Kyle was coming home! Her mind could barely wrap around the whole idea. It was the last thing Anna had ever expected to come out of his mouth.

  Kyle felt hot tears winding down his stubbled jaw. He didn’t try to stop them because they had lain like a constant, open wound in his heart for so many years. He’d loved Anna forever, wanted her so badly, and he knew he’d forced her to make a decision she should never have had to make. And because of it, she’d married that bastard who had hurt her. Her nose would be a forever reminder of what he didn’t do. Kyle now realized he should have come home a lot sooner. Been Anna’s bulwark, been there for her. Moving his hand across her belly, he whispered, “I want you pregnant before I leave here, if that’s all right with you?”

  “I—I think I already am, Kyle,” she whispered, looking into his widening eyes. “I feel it. The first night… I know when I get pregnant.” She saw a very proud male smile spread across his face. But then, just as quickly, it dissolved and Anna saw real concern in his eyes as he studied her. “Don’t ask me how I know.” She framed his face, her voice strengthening with conviction. “When we make love, it’s as real as it gets and we both know it.”

  Kyle captured her hand, placing it between her breasts, watching her for a long moment. “You didn’t love Tom. You never did.”

  Anna closed her eyes, feeling the pain and guilt. “Whatever I felt for him was gone in less than a year.” She felt his large hand span her belly, holding her, his gaze tender with understanding. “I asked the doctor about it,” she said unevenly. “I asked if it was possible that because I didn’t love Tom, I had caused the miscarriages.” Anna pressed her hands against her eyes, the tears falling. “He laughed at me and told me I was a silly woman. I wanted those babies so much, Kyle.” She broke into tears, burying her head into his chest, needing his strong arms around her, holding her close. Holding her safe from all her withheld grief.

  “Listen to me,” Kyle growled, smoothing the hair from her face, pulling the wet strands aside. “Anna, your body isn’t something you can control. You’ve got to know that,” he coaxed urgently.

  Sniffing, she laid her hand on his chest, his shirt wet beneath her tears. “That’s what the doctor said. I went to a fertility specialist, a very nice woman doctor, Dr. Foster, and she said the same thing. She said that sometimes, after one or two miscarriages, that there are minor changes that may occur in a womb, that I might be able to carry a baby to full term with some help.” She looked up at him through tear-matted lashes. “I want that so badly with you…. I know how wonderful you’ll be as a father. You’ve always loved children.”

  He sighed and kissed her damp cheek. “Anna, we’ll take this one step at a time. I need to talk to this doctor. I’m okay if we have to adopt. We need a plan. I need to understand, okay?” He held her wavering gaze.

  There was so much guilt in her eyes, so much terror because Tom had brainwashed her, made her think that she could cause such a catastrophic event. He wanted to punish that bastard in that moment but quickly shut and locked that rage away deep inside himself. Kyle would never reveal to Anna how he felt. What he did want was for her to look forward from now on. Not back. The past was done. It couldn’t be fixed, changed or repaired.

  Giving a nod, Anna whispered as she closed her eyes, “Yes, we can do that. I can get us an appointment with Dr. Foster before you leave.”

  “Good,” he said, stroking her hair, trying to soothe her. “Most of all, Anna, you can’t worry about me when I’m gone.” God, Kyle was more worried about that than anything else. “My team is in a safe place. It’s quiet. The Taliban are far east of us, near the border. We’re thirty miles inland. And usually, there’s only one more patrol before we leave. The last month is cleaning gear, taking care of weapons, getting the new team coming in prepped and aware of the situation around us.” He became grim. “Promise me, Anna, that you will not worry like you did before. I have email. And I have Skype where we’re stationed. I’ll email you every single day. Okay?”

  “I promise,” she said.

  Kyle wasn’t entirely convinced.

  * * *

  “DO YOU FEEL better now?” Kyle asked Anna as they left Dr. Linda Foster’s office in Great Falls. He pushed open the door for her, the noontime sunlight bright and strong. Snow from the recent blizzard was piled up along the roadway and partially on the slippery and icy sidewalk.

  Kyle took no chances, his arm around her waist holding her close, wanting to give Anna all the protection against the ice that he could.

  “I feel much better,” she said
, glancing up at Kyle. He wore a black Stetson, a thick Sherpa jacket and jeans. A lot of people were out and about after the blizzard had stopped the world from turning in this part of the country for the past four days. “I’m fine.” She beamed. “I’m pregnant, Kyle.” She placed her hand over her belly.

  The joy—and protectiveness—overwhelmed him. “I’ll be home for the third-month sonogram, and we’ll know at that time whether it’s a boy or a girl,” he reminded her.

  Kyle led her into a nearby parking lot that had just been plowed free of snow. Anna’s cheeks were flushed, her eyes bright. Best of all, the gold dappling was back in them. Ever since he’d slipped that ring on her finger, Kyle had experienced nonstop euphoria with Anna. It was as if his decision to finally make her first in his life had breathed new vitality into her.

  Even better, Dr. Foster had said the prognosis for carrying a baby to full term was excellent. She had suggested that during the first three months that Anna do light work only. Oh, she could get up, bathe, dress and putter around the house, but nothing strenuous. Kyle would hire a housekeeper to come in and take care of the massive two-story ranch house. He wanted Anna relaxed, not stressed. And Dr. Foster had said that stress could influence a woman’s pregnancy hormones. She would test Anna once a month and keep her levels normal, where they needed to be, so she could comfortably carry her baby.

  The last three months, Anna would have to go to bed and remain there. Anna said it was a price worth paying to have the baby she carried…his baby…be born at term. It was a sweet promise, but Kyle knew anything could happen. There was always adoption, but he kept that to himself.

  “I feel so happy,” Anna whispered, climbing into the black truck. She smiled patiently as Kyle leaned over and brought the seat belt across her and locked it in place. She’d seen his face when the doctor said she was pregnant. There had been moisture in his eyes, and he’d suddenly looked away, his jaw tight as he wrestled with a lot of escaping emotions. Already, Kyle was safeguarding her. So different from the way Tom had treated her. Pushing those unhappy memories away, Anna waited until Kyle climbed into the truck and shut the door.

  “Do you feel like some lunch? Maybe do a little grocery shopping afterward?” he asked, hands on the wheel, studying her. The doctor said she could certainly do such things, like walk and easy chores. He’d grilled the doctor ruthlessly on what she meant as “light” work. He wrote everything down because he was a SEAL and SEALs memorized everything placed in front of them. It could mean the difference between living and dying.

  Kyle had a hunch, a strong one, that Dr. Foster’s plan would make the difference for Anna. God, he didn’t want to be gone, but there was no way around it. His team needed him. He was the LPO, lead petty officer, and the men entrusted their lives to him. This one last time Kyle would be there for his band of brothers. After that, he would fill his life with his pregnant wife. Instead of taking care of his team, he would take care of his growing family. And give Anna the happiness she so richly deserved.

  “Lunch sounds nice,” she murmured, reaching out with her gloved hand and squeezing his hand resting on the wheel. “Let’s go to Bell’s. She has the best food in town.”

  Nodding, Kyle backed the truck out of the parking space. “Sounds like a plan, angel.”

  Anna smiled softly, content, and for once, not tense or worried about the baby she carried. Between Dr. Foster’s maternal care, her convincing Anna that there were things she could do to minimize risk of miscarriage, plus Kyle’s mother henning, Anna felt hopeful. Not terrified. Not like before.

  As Kyle drove slowly through the wet, gleaming asphalt streets of the small city, Anna looked at the engagement ring on her finger. “When do you want to get married?”

  “Yesterday?” He grinned over at her.

  “Seriously, Kyle?”

  “Nah, just kidding. Any date is fine with me.” Kyle knew Anna wanted a proper wedding, inviting all her friends she’d grown up with from surrounding ranch families. He hoped that wedding planning would lift her spirits even more, if that was possible. He’d talked alone with Dr. Foster and she’d counseled that planning a wedding would be a good distraction because she was a worrywart about his safety. Furthermore, the doctor told him, to stay in touch with her as often as possible via email. Dr. Foster felt that if Anna could be given some kind of fixed, routine assurance, an email a day, that would relieve her of a lot of her anxiety. Removing stress from Anna was their mutual objective.

  Kyle would never tell Anna his plan, but he was going to Chief Crawford, who ran the platoon, with a strategy to keep her calm. He would make up emails ahead of time, and because one of the three officers in the team was always there at the FOB, someone would send Anna that email on that given day. Kyle knew the officers well. They were all married and either had kids or had a child on the way. They would have his back on this tactic, understanding Anna’s delicate condition. He had a handle on the situation, but this would remain one of those secrets that would hurt no one and instead was beneficial.

  Kyle pulled into Bell’s Diner, a local favorite. It was an aluminum dining car from a train converted into the busiest lunch place in Great Falls. They lucked out on a corner booth even though the place was filling up quickly. After giving their orders, Kyle gazed over at Anna. She sat close to him and he enjoyed her nearness. “So? A wedding date?” he teased.

  “You’ll be home on March 2.”

  “Right.”

  Wrinkling her nose, she said, “We get snow through May, Kyle. I wanted our wedding to be beautiful. Outdoors…” She chewed on her lip.

  “Sounds fine with me. What’s got you worried?”

  Anna grimaced and moved her hand across her belly. “I’ll be six months pregnant. I’ll look like a balloon.”

  Patiently, Kyle picked up her hand. “Pregnant women get married right up until the moment they’re going to give birth. There’s no stigma these days.” He squeezed her hand a little more. “We’re getting married because we love one another. And no one on our guest list will think any differently about you. They’ll be happy for the three of us.” He burrowed into her green gaze. “Just think of it this way—that our son or daughter gets to take part in our wedding. That’s an awesome memory to start your life off with.” He smiled.

  “You’re right,” she muttered, unhappy with herself.

  “And Dr. Foster thought getting married would be a positive thing for you and our baby.”

  “Yes, she did.” Blowing a puff of air between her lips, Anna shook her head. “God, I wish I’d stop worrying. It’s my worst trait, Kyle. I swear it is.”

  “Well,” he murmured, soothing her, “I feel you’ve got a lot of happy days stretching out ahead of you. I’ll be home before you know it. You have the wedding to plan for. Your girlfriends from around here are going to keep you plenty busy with details and decisions that have to be made. And I’ll take over the position as foreman for the ranch once I’m home. That’s another huge concern lifted off your shoulders.”

  Her eyes lightened with relief. He felt the jagged edge of guilt. Anna had courageously forged ahead, trying to hold the ranch together alone. When her parents died a year ago, it had gutted Anna. How could it not? She was still recovering from their loss, coming out of that long tunnel of grief. It would take Anna a long time to work through missing them. Just as it had him when his father had died.

  “It’s doable,” Anna said, her voice firm.

  “Very,” Kyle agreed. The waitress brought their orders over and he covertly watched Anna rally. She might worry a lot, but when things were in place, she released the anxiety.

  He reached out, slipping her hand into his, holding her widening gaze. “I have your back, Anna. From now on, I’ll be there for you…for our children.” He swallowed against a forming lump, his voice dropping to a rasp. “I love you, my Christmas angel. Now and for
ever…”

  EPILOGUE

  SOPHIA MARIE CAMPBELL-ANDERSON came into the world on the fall equinox, September 21. She was born at home, at the White Sulphur Springs Ranch, where all children of the Campbell family lineage had been born. Dr. Foster, accompanied by two midwives, guided the baby’s father, Kyle, to welcome Sophia as she slipped into his large, awaiting hands. She had her mother’s ginger hair and her father’s gray eyes.

  As Kyle marveled at the red, wrinkled little being squirming and vocal in his hands, he thought back to his wife’s baby pictures. Damned if Sophia wasn’t nearly identical to her mother’s photo at that same age. She was going to grow up strong, confident and beautiful, just like her weary mother, who gave him a trembling smile of relief and love. Sophia was born weighing eight pounds five ounces, and Dr. Foster checked her out with quick professionalism and declared her healthy and normal.

  The midwives took care and fussed over exhausted Anna. Twenty hours of labor had made her weary but happy. Tears slid down her cheeks as Dr. Foster placed Sophia, all wrapped in her new pink knitted blanket, into Kyle’s awaiting arms.

  Her heart burst open with such love for the two of them as Kyle awkwardly held his now-quiet daughter with such carefulness. They had taken parenting and hospital courses on learning to work with a newborn. But to see Kyle’s face, the tenderness and love burning in his eyes for his daughter, made Anna melt with joy. There was no question that Kyle would be an involved father. She would be a good mother. Anna knew neither of them would be perfect parents, but they would try their best because, after all, love underwrote their marriage. Love could heal any wound, small or large. Anna knew that from the way Kyle’s love continued to heal her.

  When her husband turned, the proudest smile she’d ever seen on his face as he held his daughter, Anna felt all the unhappy years slip away. At twenty-nine years old, Kyle Anderson held her heart, had helped salve her soul, and was there every step of the way so that Sophia could become a full-term baby. He had been her coach, her lover, her best friend and confidant. She had to spend the last three months in bed, but it had been worth it.