True Love Lost (An FBI Romance Thriller (book 3))

by Kelley, Morgan

  “What are you thinking, Desdemona?” he asked, dropping to his knees.

  “Just how perfect your body is,” she answered honestly. “I love everything about it.”

  He placed himself over her, and prepared himself. He wanted to watch her face as he slid home. This woman was going to be his. After years of searching he was finally going to lay claim. His heart and mind did battle over the entire situation. He kept trying to rationalize the lies he told himself in his mind.

  Desdemona, opened for him, and wrapped her legs around his waist.

  As he slid into her waiting body, he had to work for it. She was tight and he just barely fit. He closed his eyes and prayed for control, especially after what he just said to her. Someone was going to be screaming, and it wasn’t going to be him. Then he began moving and it took both of their breaths away.

  “Callen,” she gasped.

  “So tight, Desi.” Whitefox found his rhythm and kept going; not exploding first was going to be the hardest thing he ever had to do in his life. He leaned down to her ear, and whispered the words he was thinking. “No one’s going to ever feel this with you again. I’m it Desdemona. No more men, and no more dates for you. I’m going to be the last man that you get naked with and experience this kind of pleasure with.” Picking up the pace, he felt her tighten around him, and he prayed for control. “Am I clear, Desi? Me and that’s it.”

  She nodded even though she was feeling out of control.

  “I want to hear you say it,” he whispered again, just as he felt her tighten down around his body. There was no doubt that she was experiencing as much pleasure as he could give her.

  “Callen!” Desdemona felt the heat building and the overwhelming feeling like her body was about to shatter apart into a million pieces.

  “Say it Desi,” he ordered again, and as he saw the look on her face he started moving harder into her, until she gave him the words.

  “Yes, Callen. Only you,” she said, giving him anything he wanted in that moment. Maybe it was the sex or possibly the fact she believed he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. After giving him the words, she fractured and arched into his body.

  Whitefox barely survived that one, and he slowed the pace down, and gave her time to catch her breath. As he kept moving he tried to not think about how wet and warm she felt wrapped around his body. If he did, he was done.

  Desdemona fought for her breath, and looked up into his eyes. This man wanted complete control, and she just decided to let him have it. She could trust him, and he was going to take care of her. Just the way he was now as they were making love in his living room. The man was trying to give her so much pleasure.

  “More Desi?” he asked, starting to move harder again, into her body.

  She didn’t think her body could handle anymore pleasure. “Callen,” she protested. “I can’t!”

  “Not until you give me what I want,” he muttered, as the sweat beaded down his taut body. She was pulling apart his control, and he was going to get what he wanted, all of her. There wasn’t any way he was stopping until he had her mind and body. If he could control that then he had a chance she wouldn’t run far and fast. Maybe he was rushing it, but he needed to take charge and do what was best for them both.

  “Callen, please!”

  He shook his head, refusing to say anything more. If he did he’d lose his focus and be unable to remain in control.

  Desdemona felt the heat building again, and it was tinged with lust, pain and the knowledge that he was going to keep inflicting pleasure until she gave him what he wanted. Part of her wanted to fight, and stand her ground. Everything was going too fast. She felt out of control and her mind was scrambled. The sane part of her mind tried to get her to rationalize; her heart told her who cared, as long as she had him. Desdemona’s mind called her a liar, as she tried to rationalize everything going on around her.

  Desdemona let her heart overrule her mind.

  Digging her nails in his shoulders, she arched into him as he drove into her. His hair fell around them, and the feeling of it brushing her body and him invading was too much.

  In the end, he won. She did scream his name right before she shattered and the light blinded her.

  At his name on her lips and the way her body squeezed his intimately, he knew he was close and it was time. One more stroke, pushing past the resistance, he moaned extremely proud he’d achieved his goal, and getting what he wanted. The control was the prize, she had conceded, and he was victorious. Callen got exactly what he set out to obtain.

  Desdemona submitted.

  She couldn’t move. Then she realized why. Callen was lying over her body. Then she thought about it, and instead of flushing with embarrassment she just began laughing.

  Whitefox went up on his elbows and looked down at her. “After all that, you laugh?” He started laughing himself.

  “What if I didn’t scream your name,” she said, still giggling.

  “I wasn’t worried. It was all part of the plan,” he stated, kissing her, and was enjoying it, when there was a knock on the door. Whitefox looked at his watch. “Dinner,” he pushed off her and slipped into his jeans.

  “Wait! I’m naked!” She jumped up looking for her clothes and where he threw them.

  “Yeah I know,” he said snickering. “That’s for laughing.”

  Desdemona grabbed his shirt, and quick buttoned it up. It smelled like his cologne and soap and she wasn’t planning on giving it back. Not for a long time. She was laying claim on it just because it had his delicious scent all over it.

  Whitefox paid for the take out and walked back into the room, and then he saw her and his heart just stopped in his chest. Here stood this little woman, wearing his shirt, and her hair wild and crazy down her back, and he pushed for more.

  “What?” Desdemona looked alarmed. Maybe he didn’t want her in his shirt.

  “When this assignment is over I want you to move in with me.” He wanted to see her in his house, in his shirt, and in his life forever. This was the life his brother had and he’d coveted. Now it stood right in front of him, and all he had to do was grab it and make it his.

  Desdemona wasn’t expecting what he just threw at her, and it wasn’t what she was hoping for either.

  And she still didn’t have an answer.

  ~ Chapter Fourteen ~

  Elizabeth sat at the kitchen table and her husband massaged her lower back. Twenty minutes ago the Braxton Hicks contractions started, and they weren’t letting up. She tried to explain to her husband she was perfectly fine, but as usual he was over the edge about the pregnancy. He carried her out of the sheriff’s station, much to her horror. When he placed her in the car and then started searching for the nearest hospital just in case, she’d had enough. When she pulled the keys from the ignition and threatened to swallow them, he finally calmed down and listened to her.

  It was hard to get upset with him, and she’d even forgotten that she was upset from before. He was just being a doting father, and smothering her and the baby to death. Now he insisted on rubbing her back, even when she tried to tell him there wasn’t any pain back there. Trying to remember the fear he’d survived when she was abducted, accommodating him as much as possible was her priority. When he kept looking at her with eyes full of concern she was helpless to not soothe him.

  “You’re going to be a great father.” There was no doubt in her mind. The man was just so sweet and loving.

  “I hope so.” It was his secret fear, and the only two people that knew he was scared shitless were his brother and his wife. That was why he reacted incorrectly in the diner. The fear grabbed him and shook him every day.

  “Hey, how about dinner?” she said, turning to face him.

  “Okay, what do you want?” Now he was gently rubbing her belly. Suddenly the baby rolled and pressed against her stomach. “Is that a foot?” he asked, poking back at it.

  Elizabeth laughed. “How should I know?” As her phone rang, he cont
inued poking at his child and laughing when he kicked back.

  “Hello Granddad,” she answered, laughing.

  “What’s so funny, Granddaughter?” he inquired.

  “Your grandson is poking at the baby, and the baby is kicking back. I’m the evening’s entertainment.” Elizabeth slapped her husband’s arm and covered the bottom of the phone. “Stop provoking the kid!”

  He laughed and went back to rubbing gently and listening to the conversation between his wife and grandfather.

  “Is everything okay, Granddad? You don’t call in the middle of the week unless you’re worried about something. What’s bothering you?”

  His granddaughter was very astute. “I had that dream again, Elizabeth, and I know you will be the only one of the three that won’t lie to me.”

  She put him on speakerphone. “Ethan wouldn’t lie to you, Granddad. He just doesn’t like you to worry.”

  “Covering for him, my protective Raven?” Timothy inquired, knowing by now his boy would be listening.

  “Absolutely,” she answered. And he was very right. She wouldn’t lie to him. “Now what was your dream about?”

  “Callen and the Adare woman.”

  Elizabeth looked over at her husband. Was she shocked he was calling? No. He knew she was pregnant before she even did, and when she was abducted, he knew it was coming and tried to warn her.

  “What is the status with the woman? Callen isn't answering my calls, and that isn't like him. I think I deserve to be told the truth.”

  “They’re pursuing a relationship.” She didn’t want to rat her brother-in-law out, but she didn’t lie to the Blackhawk men, especially granddad. He would be eighty-nine soon and was razor sharp.

  “This time in the dream the fox was willing to die for her. Last time he was just protecting her, so something has happened.”

  Elizabeth just looked at her husband. He was of no help.

  “Tell me what you feel about this woman. I trust your opinion. I know my boys would cover for each other, isn't that so Ethan?”

  “Granddad, he’s my brother.” He gave up pretending to not be eavesdropping.

  “I don’t think you have anything to worry about Granddad. The doctor is a lovely woman, and I personally like her a great deal. You can tell how she feels about Callen when she looks at him.” Elizabeth immediately switched to defending Whitefox.

  “And she isn't Native?”

  Elizabeth sighed. “No Granddad, but neither am I. I love you, but really, let the Native thing go. Can’t you just cut him a break on it? What if she’s the one and he pushes her away because of obligation to you? What if this all destroys his heart and life? You know he’d forgo love to keep his promise to you.” Elizabeth sighed. “Please, as a favor to me. Let him out of this promise and let him find happiness. Maybe it’s not with this particular woman, but let him have the freedom of choice to find his own way.”

  Timothy Blackhawk remained silent.

  “I’ll give you a brood of Blackhawks you can boss around, but Callen’s heart can’t take much more and if it breaks over this, it won’t ever be the same.”

  “Elizabeth,” he started to say.

  “Please, for me Granddad? Let it go and release him from this promise.”

  There was silence on the phone as Blackhawk watched his wife work her mojo.

  “Elizabeth, this is why you shall head this family when I’m gone. You are their warrior who will fight to keep my boys safe,” he paused, “Where are the boy and the woman?”

  “Promise to not go all Native Indian all over her?” she asked. “Scaring her with the war bonnet and tomahawk?”

  “I don’t believe I own a tomahawk,” Timothy answered, laughing.

  “Want one?” she inquired, trying to keep her voice serious.” Your birthday is coming up.”

  He laughed. “Are you trying to bribe me?”

  “Is it that apparent?”

  “I love you, my precious raven. I will be as welcoming as I was to you.”

  “Well, just shoot the poor woman then! Don’t grill her on your house and your feathers,” she added, and then thought about it. “Cal’s either at our home or at his house.”

  “Both of them?”

  “Yes, Granddad.”

  His granddaughter was a joy, and really the only one that would speak honestly with him about anything he asked. “How is my great grandson, and have we named him yet?”

  “We’re working on it, Granddad. I am leaning toward Leroy Heathcliff Mick Blackhawk IV.”

  There was a pause over the phone.

  “Wonderful name,” he finally said, the laughter evident in his voice. “Who are you punishing raven? The child or your husband?”

  Blackhawk started laughing, knowing he was the intended victim in this atrocious crime.

  “Is it that obvious?” she asked.

  “Ask her why the IV, Granddad,” winked Blackhawk, throwing his wife under the granddad bus.

  “Elizabeth, why are there Roman numerals at the end of my great grandson’s name?”

  Now she saw it was a free for all and she was on her own. It was time to reciprocate. “Since Ethan is dragging his feet, anyone that meets this child is now going to think he, Wyler and you are all named that.”

  There was a pause.

  “I love you Leroy Heathcliff Mick Blackhawk the first.”

  Timothy Blackhawk roared with laughter. “I love you, Elizabeth, and for you I will willingly change my name. I will trust your judgment on the woman, but if she turns out to be a holy disaster it will be your entire fault and you will rectify it and do what needs to be done. Am I clear, my sweet raven?”

  Blackhawk snickered.

  “Yes Granddad, but I guess you’ll have to disown me,” she replied, laughing. “Bet that tattoo on your arm will be a bitch to get off. Looks like that train ride to crazy town just came back to bite you in your ass.”

  Timothy laughed more. “Ethan, pick a name for my great grandson already.”

  “We love you, Granddad. When we get home, we’ll have dinner at our house with the whole family.”

  “I look forward to it, and if Callen picks a woman one third as well as Ethan, than I am going to be overly blessed. Be safe sweetheart.” Timothy hung up the phone to find his other grandson.

  Ethan was still amazed that his wife yielded the power she did over his grandfather. The man was the head of the family and his boys all worried and feared him, but his pregnant wife wasn’t worried in the least. “Think she’ll survive meeting him? Granddad is intimidating.”

  “I think so, but I just have this feeling their entire situation isn't going to run as smoothly as ours did. Meet and four days later get married and have a kid. I just get this feeling that granddad and his dream is going to be right. This stalker thing worries me.”

  “Think he’s in danger?”

  “I think if he’s anything like his brother, he’ll die to protect the woman he loves. That means the bull’s-eye won’t be on her, but on him. I just feel off about all of it.”

  Blackhawk thought about it. “Then I think we’re going to have to help him keep her safe. Well, I am anyway.”

  Elizabeth laughed. “Let’s have dinner, and then work on the profile and this assessment. I want to get home before something happens.”

  “Callen’s new at this agent thing and that worries me most.”

  “Yeah, me too.” She was very worried for her brother-in-law and now Desdemona too.

  Deep down Elizabeth just knew this was far from being over, and she hoped her family stayed intact, including Callen’s heart.

  He wasn’t going to move until she gave him an answer.

  Desdemona looked like a deer in headlights.

  No, he wasn’t proposing, because if he dropped those words on her, he was convinced she’d rabbit fast and far.

  At first he was going to try baby steps, but with someone as skittish as Desdemona, he needed to steam ahead. Callen was willing to push as
hard as he needed to, in order to get the outcome he wanted.

  Now he just had to get her to stay with him forever. If he took away her choice then everything would be fine. Like his brother pointed out, he had to keep her from running away a year down the road. And he had to buy some time to get his grandfather to approve of a marriage.

  “Desdemona? I want us to live together.”

  She stared at him and took a deep breath unsure what to say to the man. It was so sudden and completely off the cuff that she was freaked out. All she could think of was to go with the obvious. “I have a nut job stalking me. Did you see the back of that picture, Callen? Just the idea that you’ll be a target makes me sick to my stomach. I can’t go home and I can’t fall in love.”

  “Well, then I guess I’m completely safe unless you love me.” He threw it out there. Hoping and waiting for her response.

  “We can’t live together!” She didn’t want him to die.

  He still refused to give up and was feeling desperate enough to say the words before he was ready. “It’s too late. I love you.” He said it, pretty sure that would work. The truth was written all over her face. “So whether you love me or not, I’m a dead man,” he joked, and then realized he went too far.

  Desdemona backed away from him, bottom lip quivering as tears filled her eyes. All she could do was retreat for his room, slamming the door and locking it. What had she done? Just being near him risked him, and she did love him, and if she lost him because of her past how could she recover?

  As she lay on the bed, she looked to the nightstand and the pictured of him with another woman, and her heart ached. Could she love a man that loved another woman? Then she tried to find the positive in it, and went with that. It was family, and wasn’t that what she always wanted? Plus toss in a friend to have all for herself. The tears overwhelmed her, and she wasn’t sure what she was crying over.

  There were so many reasons. Love was damn complicated.