Finding Callan

by Quell T Fox

  “I think your loyalty is sexy, and you’re brave to admit it. I get why you would think it’s awkward and embarrassing, but you shouldn’t. There aren’t many guys like you, and that’s a good thing. I’m sorry for throwing myself at you.” She pauses for a moment, licking her lips. I get the image of her perfect lips wrapped around my dick… and I’m scaring myself with these thoughts. “I scared the shit out of you, didn’t I?”

  “Yes, yes you did.” I say, as I adjust my pants one more time. Trying to hide the excitement that is coming out of nowhere.

  “Can I ask you something now?”

  “Anything.”

  “You said there were ways to find out what I am, if I am in fact something more than human. How do we do that?”

  “From what I currently know, closing our Circle would bring out any and all powers.” Her eyes are pleading with me, wanting more of an answer than that and I’m glad that I can give her that. “Since that is not an option at this point in time, you can go see the Prophet. She will know for sure. Is that something you’d like to do?”

  “Yeah, I think I would.”

  “Then that’s what we will do.”

  ***

  We all sit around the table and eat dinner like a normal, happy family. Even though we are far from it. It’s nice to pretend once in a while. The second time in a week, on top of it. I can’t remember the last time us guys sat around a table for a home cooked meal, and now we are doing it with our One. I can sense that she’s going to say yes, I think we all can. That’s why we’re acting this way. The connection is still there and growing stronger every minute we around together. Besides, if she was going to say no, she’d have done it by now. Statistics and all.

  “Cal, your balls were delicious.” A cheesy grin rests on Lenny’s face. His humor is juvenile. I used to think he had some kind of brain trauma from when he was a child, but I’ve grown to realize that it’s his coping mechanism. We all have them, immaturity is his. Others would call it humor, but tomato, tomato.

  “The food was great, Callan. Thanks for cooking.”

  “You’re very welcome.”

  “Callan and Friday sitting in a tree– “

  “Quit it.”

  “What’s got you so grumpy?” Friday asks.

  “He’s always grumpy, haven’t you learned yet?” Lenny quips.

  “I’m grumpy, because you are annoying.”

  “Nooo, I’m annoying because you’re grumpy.” Lenny points his finger right in Maddox face, almost touching his nose. I think he’s about to lose it.

  Yeah, this is life. This is what we all are looking forward to. This is what we are fighting for, believe it or not. Alec shakes his head and stifles a laugh. I see the little bits of his old self coming out, even though he’s trying to keep it buried. And it brings me the biggest sense of relief. He’s scared. We all are in our own way, but it’s worse for him. I wish he didn’t shut us out so much, that he didn’t let himself get this bad. It’s on us too, we allowed it. We saw it and thought giving him his space would be good. That backfired and I feel that it made things worse. I almost didn’t think he was going to come out of his room to eat with us. He was lying in bed all depressed and grouchy. I can never tell what’s going on in his brain. He’s the hardest to read, he has the highest and thickest walls out of us all. I have always wondered what would have happened if he had been the Superior. I personally think that he’s stronger than Maddox – or would have been without Maddox having the extra boost. Then again, it’s not all about physical strength. Mental strength is a big part of it, and Alec doesn’t have a good grasp on his mental state.

  Alec is scary, intimidating, smart, broody and quiet. He’s always a step ahead of everyone else, but we usually ignore him in fear of getting on his bad side. That’s the wrong thing to do. Poking the bear is something we avoid at all costs. I always have an eye on him, though. Always trying to guess what he’s up to. I’m rarely right, but one of these days I will figure him out. He’s the one puzzle that I can’t solve.

  “What’s for dessert?” Friday’s bubbly voice pulls me from my thoughts.

  “Yummy! I love dessert.”

  “You love all food.”

  “Good point.”

  “I didn’t make anything, but I did buy ice cream. Would you like some?” Her face lights up, nodding her head quickly. “Anyone else?” Everyone says yes, except Maddox. He does seem extra grumpy this evening, and I’m not sure why. He’s usually easy to read, wearing his heart on his sleeve type of deal. He’s too arrogant to hide what he’s thinking, it’s like he wants the attention from us. He needs reassurance that we care. We’re all messed up in our own way.

  I pass out the ice cream and we sit and eat it in silence. Until Maddox’s phone breaks that. He takes a quick look, pushes back from the table and walks into the hallway. Am I the only one that thinks that’s weird?

  CHAPTER 11

  Friday

  Maddox comes back into the room a few moments later looking grumpier than ever. I think he needs to get laid more–I know I do. Maybe we could help each other out? I swear I don’t know what has come over me lately, I can’t stop thinking about dick! It’s awful.

  “Lenny, I need you to come with me.”

  “Where we goin’, Mad?”

  “Someone broke into the bar.”

  “What?!” Lenny stands quickly, bumping the table and knocking over his chair as he does. Maddox continues down the hallway, while Lenny quickly follows

  “Bar? What bar?” I ask to no one in particular.

  “They own a bar.”

  “A what? You guys own a fucking bar and you didn’t tell me?” I shout down the hallway and jump to my feet, because why are we spending money at clubs when we could be hanging out at their bar? The hell is wrong with these guys? I know it isn’t a big deal, people own businesses all the time, but that’s news that I wasn’t expecting to hear tonight.

  “Why would they have told you?” Alec asks, deadly serious, his honey brown eyes meeting mine and I suddenly feel insecure.

  Unsure of what to say, I stand there gaping.

  “Quit being mean, Alec.” Callan gives him a defeated look. He must get tired of playing peacekeeper all the time. Lenny seems to have fun with it, for Callan it seems like a chore. I see why these guys don’t like being together so much. They can’t even get along. Do they really think that I can fix them? Or will my life end up being as messed up as theirs? I mean it already is, but in an entirely different way. Will I end up hating them like they hate each other? That’s a scary thought, I don’t want to hate these guys. I like them. All of them, even the grumpy ones. I can’t hate them. “Maddox bought the bar when he was 21, he opened an account and split half the profit with Lenny until he was old enough to get his name put on it officially. They’ve been running it together ever since. Well, Maddox does most of the work, but they make all of the major decisions together.”

  “Why?”

  “Maddox practically raised Lenny, and I guess he just felt like it was the right thing to do? I’m not sure. You’ll have to ask him.” Not a chance in hell.

  It’s funny how someone as rude and distant as him can be so thoughtful and caring, without showing it on the outside. I know his hardness is just a front, but it’s nice to know that there is a softness inside there somewhere. Especially, when it comes to Lenny. I was pissed at Maddox for the way he treated Lenny that one night we were all… together, but now I don’t think I should be. He has his own way of showing his feelings and I don’t think he means to be a jerk. It’s just who he is. A small part of my anger towards Maddox disappears.

  I’m slowly starting to understand these guys.

  Maddox walks down the hallway with meaningful strides. He’s pissed. And I don’t blame him. Lenny follows behind him, like his shadow. It’s kind of adorable.

  “We’ll be back tomorrow night. If you need anything call immediately. Any of you.” He gives us each a look, even though Alec isn
’t looking back. Lenny walks to me, runs his hand through my hair and stopping at the nape of my neck. He presses his lips to mine and lets them linger a bit longer than necessary. Not that I am complaining. Sparks ignite immediately. I wish he could stay and we could disappear into my bedroom instead of him having to leave.

  Everything with him is so easy. I wish it could be like that with all the guys. Yet, I know that would be boring. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like the way they are. The back and forth, the game, the chase. They’re all so different, and that’s why I like them all so much.

  “Don’t miss me too much, Buttercup.”

  “I’ll try not to.” I say with a roll of my eyes. One of these days they’re going to roll right out of my head.

  They both exit the room, leaving me at the table along with Callan and Alec. One hates me and the other is afraid of me. This is going to be a fun night.

  “You guys wanna watch a movie?” I ask.

  Callan is the one that answers, in his smooth, quiet voice. “I have a better idea.”

  ***

  A little under two hours later I am sitting between both Alec and Callan, lounging back in the most comfortable movie theatre chair that I have ever been in. It was a 45-minute drive here, courtesy of a driving service, but totally worth it. This place is huge and comfortable, and they serve alcohol! I feel like I have been living in a cave. Asswipe cheating on me may have been the best thing to ever happen to me.

  I miss Lenny, and part of me misses Maddox too. I can feel it. That hole in my chest I kept talking about? I’ve since realized that it happens when Lenny is away, and possibly Maddox too. Maybe they are right about me and them, about this connection. Or I’ve just really latched on to them and I’m naturally sad that they are gone, but this feels like more. I don’t just miss them; I need to be next to them. It’s not as bad as it was when I was away from them all, I definitely don’t have a connection with Callan and Alec like I have with Lenny. Which explains why that ache is still there. Everything is starting to make sense, or I’m forcing myself to make sense of it. Does it matter which is right?

  I’m really in the mood to cuddle. That kiss from Lenny left me needy. I have a feeling neither of these guys are cuddlers but fuck it. I go for it anyway. I lean my head onto Callan’s shoulder. He tenses and clears his throat in an uncomfortable way, but I don’t back off. Instead, I reach my arm over and hook it into his, trying to get as comfortable as possible. The physical contact makes me feel better. It’s kind of awkward with Callan being so tense, but I have a feeling that soon enough he will relax. He’s going to have to if he expects us to eventually be together. He said he wants it too, so he must know what that means, what it will entail. I’m not complaining about fucking him. He’s so hot. I’ve never been into the virgin thing before, but something about him makes me really excited to take it.

  It’s not in my nature to be low key, but Callan is a respectable guy, so for him, I will try. I will try to take things slowly and not scare him too much but when he’s ready, I’m going to rock his socks off. That’s a promise.

  I wonder if we’re going to have some kind of awkward talk. Like, will he tell me when he’s ready? How does that work? Lord, I hope not. I feel like that would totally kill any mood that would be made. I think back to how I lost my virginity. When I was 15 in the back of some senior’s truck, in the school parking lot during lunch. What was his name…?

  I can’t picture Callan making a move on his own. Though, he has opened up a little. He talked to me out on the balcony, explained some things to me, so maybe he’ll surprise me. It doesn’t matter now anyway. I’m not rushing into any of this. I have a week to tell them that I’ve agreed to stay, but that’s the easy part. It’s everything after that will be the hard part. How do you even deal with being with more than one person? Maybe I should ask Asshat, I’m sure he’d have some good advice.

  “If we do end up being together, won’t you guys like, get jealous of each other?” I whisper my question to Callan because the previews are still playing, the other movie goers are chatting and playing on their phones, so I don’t feel bad about it. I keep my whisper quiet because I don’t want these Nosey Roseys to hear me talking about being with multiple men.

  “That’s not normally a problem.”

  “How is that possible? I would never be okay with that. Wait… so, if we are all together, would you guys have other girls too? Since I’d have all four of you?”

  He turns in his seat towards me, a serious look on his face as usual. I was good at calling it out with his naughty schoolteacher look. I wonder if he’d dress up for me and I could be the naughty student? I am going to have so much fun with this sexy fuck.

  “You can’t think of it that way, Friday. It’s not you with us, it’s just us. We are all together, and if we choose to be with just you then that’s how it will be, but if we choose to be with another,” my thoughts go to Maddox and Lenny and I think that’s what he’s referring too, “then that is okay too. But it is never okay for any of us to be with anyone outside of our Circle, once it has been closed. There is no need for any of us to be jealous. Of anyone.”

  “Okay.” It’s all I can manage to say, because even though I hear what he’s saying, it still doesn’t seem right. Yeah, Maddox and Lenny have their little thing going on, but I can’t picture Alec or Callan doing anything like that. Ever. With each other or any of the other guys. So they are going to be okay with sharing me with essentially three other men? And four guys? Ugh, I’m such a whore. Right? No, I don’t feel that way. Not at all. He’s right about it being more. It feels like more.

  The theatre darkens as the movie starts. I nuzzle into Callan a little bit more, since he’s finally relaxed. I feel like I’m pushing my luck, but maybe he needs a nudge. I decide that I need to try this whole thing out. I’ve grown a large set of balls, apparently, because I reach my free arm over and place it on Alec’s forearm, and there is no reaction at all. Holy fuck, his arm is hard as a rock. I clench my legs together, to keep the tingling away. The feeling of having contact with them both is almost overwhelming.

  With the other guys gone, I’ll have to take care of myself tonight. Such a disappointment.

  ***

  I wake when I feel someone crawling into bed with me. Lenny said he wouldn’t be back until Thursday night, but I assume he came back early. No one else would be crawling into bed with me. I think that, until the smell of citrus hits my nose. Only one of the guys smells like that. And it isn’t Lenny.

  A firm forearm reaches around me and pulls me close to an equally firm body. The warmth of bare skin reaches mine through my clothes. There is a large, stiff rod digging into my lower back, right above my ass crack that feels as if it’s growing by the second. It digs into me more as the body it’s attached to presses closer and squeezes me tighter, nuzzling his face into the back of my neck. I’m trying to remain still and calm, but I’m turning up rigid and uncomfortable. This is a very awkward situation and I’m not sure what to do. So I lay there, eyes wide, heart beating, and a painful ache both in my back from the hardness causing a bruise and in between my legs from the need of that hardness. Not long after, his breathing starts to slow, a light snore coming from behind me. Only then do I feel like I can relax. I relax all of my muscles which must have been mistaken for me trying to move because I’m pulled even tighter. His arm completely around my waist. Guess moving is out of the question. What else to do other than sleep? Nothing. So that’s what I do. I roll, very gently so I’m laying more on my stomach, into a position that I’ll be able to sleep in comfortably. The light snoring continues and it’s all I can think about until I fall asleep.

  When I wake, I find the other side of the bed empty and cold. Was I dreaming? I bring my face close to the bed and take a deep sniff. Hey, maybe it’s weird but I need to know I’m not crazy. Or losing my mind. And I’m not. It smells like Alec. But why did he come in here and then disappear? I get out of bed planning to check on hi
m in his room. When I walk out of mine though, I find him and Callan at the table eating something that smells delicious. I quickly make my way towards them, giving Alec a curious look but he’s avoiding me, which isn’t exactly out of the norm, but seems extremely suspicious this morning. I decide to worry about that later because I’m suddenly starving. I reach the table and notice the guys plates are empty. A frown appears on my face.

  “What did you make? It smells good. Gimme some!” Alec avoids me, still. Does he remember last night? Callan breathes a laugh and stands. I follow him to the stove, he puts on the oven mitts and pulls out two glass baking dishes from the warm oven.

  I’ve never been in a hotel like this, that’s made for extended stays. It’s kind of cool.

  “It’s banana spice French toast, plus scrambled eggs and sausage.” He shrugs as my jaw drops. Like this isn’t some fancy schmancy meal. I come from a class of people that have cereal and toaster pastry for breakfast.

  “Give it to me now.” I bounce in my spot until I notice the pot of coffee. I pull a mug from the cabinet and pour some of the brown delicious liquid into it. Keeping myself busy while Callan scoops food onto my plate.

  “Cream is at the table. Have a seat. I’ll bring your plate over.“ I do as he says, eager to drink the coffee but also to sit down since I am still tired. I sit at the table, my eyes going to Alec who is across from me and staring at his phone. Just like the good ole Alec. I don’t know how I can say that since I’ve known him only a week, but I’m confident in my assessment. Callan places my plate of food down in front me just as I finish pouring the cream into my coffee. There’s syrup on the table but I don’t bother with it, this smells too good to ruin. And it tastes just as good. The French toast has the perfect amount of spice and it’s so soft, it melts in my mouth. The eggs are fluffy and the sausage is juicy.